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Presenting ‘The Matt Mitrione Phone Message Contest’ Presented by TrauMMA Combat Apparel

(“If this is a telemarketer, you’re dead.”)

In our continued effort to bring our readers interesting contests with unique prizes, we’re proud to announce our next giveaway, which could very well end up being a regular feature here at if we play our cards right.

Here’s the deal:

Our friends at TrauMMA Combat Apparel, an emerging MMA brand whose focus is on supporting fighters and making quality products, have hooked us up with one of their sponsored fighters, UFC heavyweight Matt Mitrione, who has agreed to record the outgoing message for the contest winner’s answering machine or voicemail service.

The rules are simple.

Post your script that you would like “Meathead” to use for your message. We will pick the best ten and let Matt pick the winner from that pool.

One entry per person and the winner will be chosen next Thursday, November 24, 2011. The deadline for the contest is Wednesday, November 23, 2011.

The only stipulation from Matt is that there are no obscenities, which makes sense considering your boss, your mom or your parole officer may get your machine from time to time.

The winner will receive an MP3 recording of their winning entry read by Matt.

Here’s the kind of stuff we’re after:

“Hi, this is UFC heavyweight Matt Mitrione. ReX tried to do this, but he made less sense than a Tito Ortiz quote. Leave a message biotches.”


“Hey, this is UFC heavyweight Matt Mitrione. Karma’s busy getting ready for the club we’re about to head out to. I’m going to be his wingman tonight. Leave a message if you’re a hot chick.”

or even

“Hey this is UFC heavyweight Matt Mitrione. Steve’s busy right now, so I’m looking after his phone messages. It’s the least I can do since he taught me everything I know about fighting. I don’t know how he finds the time to make millions in the stock market with all of the charity work he does with endangered animals and orphans. Leave a message and he’ll call you back.”

Show us what you got.

Good luck.

Cagepotato Comments

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mwhitaker42- November 24, 2011 at 2:26 pm
To MORNINGWOOD: The only thing funny about your comment is your complete and total ignorance. You are either part of the 1% that oppresses all of us Americans. Or you are just a sad man sitting behind his computer. My guess is the second since you are resorting to threats on your fellow Humans. Your way of thinking is old. Old and outdated. This world is changing, and I am sorry you can't keep up. But know that we will not stop. Not until your ideas are gone. Your conservative, individualistic style of thinking is already on its way out. And I am sure that worries you... Please Morningwood, let go of your ego and live a life with a cause. That way you will have an effect.

My email is if you wish to respond privately.
Fried Taco- November 22, 2011 at 12:04 pm
Sorry I was making fun of your favorite song PoonTangClan.
WuTangClan- November 21, 2011 at 2:28 pm
^ You're the least funniest person on this site, shut the fuck up already.
Fried Taco- November 21, 2011 at 11:55 am
If Matt's not into Lionel Richie, then I'll accept this song as my second choice:
I just came to say hello
Hello oh-oh-oh-oh
I'm not the kinda girl who'd get messed up with you
Hello oh-oh-oh-oh
I'ma let you try to convince me to
Hello oh-oh-oh-oh

It's alright I'm getting dizzy just enjoy the partyyyy
It's OK with me if you don't have that much to say
Kinda like this game but there's something you should know
I just came to say hello
Fried Taco- November 21, 2011 at 11:51 am
Very simple message, I just want him to sing:
Hello, is it me you're looking for?
'Cause I wonder where you are
And I wonder what you do
Are you somewhere feeling lonely or is someone loving you?
Tell me how to win your heart
For I haven't got a clue
But let me start by saying ... I love you
freddyboiii- November 21, 2011 at 6:56 am
Hi, This is UFC Heavyweight and former NFL Defensive Tackle Matt Mitrione. Freddyboiii just beat six shades of shit out of me and now I have to record this voicemail as a forfeit. Don't leave a message if you can't handle the response!
Iskander Neptu- November 19, 2011 at 5:47 am
still with the mitrione shit?? give it a rest ...
Nut Puncher 9000- November 19, 2011 at 5:39 am

UFC Heavyweight Matt Mitrione here to speak for my boy * when I say: Brendan, no mesg needed. Dennis, your forearms look pretty small bro. Dan, ITS JUST A CAR! Brian, COME AT ME BRO! Cara, Smile sexy, * will get in touch shortly. Owen, Whats up now? And I will speak for myself when I say Rob, I think you shouldnt have talked about Me like that, * told me alllll about it...Ill see you soon.

I will be screening all *'s calls from here on out so the rest of you hoes, dont even bother.
Nut Puncher 9000- November 19, 2011 at 5:24 am
Meathead here, when im not throwing bricks in the UFC octagon apparently I am making outgoing mesgs for this guy named *. I dont even know this guy but I can tell you he is awesome. Unless you are a cop go ahead and leave a mesg. If you are a hot female, he might even call you back.
Deal_the_Seal- November 19, 2011 at 2:03 am
"Hello? ... Hello? .... .... ... Hellooooh?! .... Yes? Hello?"
noeman69- November 18, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Hi. My name is Matt Mitrione. I recently lost a close decision to Cheick Kongo. As a result of this, I was forced to participate in a contest to boost my popularity in-spite of the loss. Please leave a message after the beep. Jesus Christ I can't believe I let my agent talk me into this...
intercept440- November 18, 2011 at 2:44 pm
hi this is the "440 resisdence" and speaking is my glorious self UFC heavuwieght Matt Mitrione.
if you leave your name and number 440 will get back to you when he can.
oh.. and if this is a hot chick who likes to have her fartbox punched my cell instead 1-XXX-XXXX.

thanks peace out
jfjjfjff- November 18, 2011 at 9:54 am
"Hello? [pause, speaking louder] Hello? [longer pause, louder still] Sorry, who is this? [pause]"
Crap Factory- November 18, 2011 at 6:41 am
UFC fighter Matt Mitrione here. Mark's out getting "salty" at me for my last fight. Leave him a message and maybe he'll get it. That is, after he wakes up from my one punch KO.
FattyYarborough- November 18, 2011 at 12:22 am
hello?...(long pause), This is Ufc heavyweight fighter Matt Mitrione, If you know Adam personally leave a brief message and he'll get back to you as soon as possible, if this is that dirty lying whore Charlene, Adams says S you in your A and J all over your B's.
dranokills- November 17, 2011 at 10:55 pm
Hi Matt Mitrione here. I am over at J3T's house, he is out getting his ass beat by everyone he ever challenged to fight, and more.
When he gets home I'm gonna stomp a mudhole through his ass and walk it dry as well.
Meanwhile, were you aware he has a fuck-ton of gay, and tranny porn stuff all over his computer now?
Jawbreaker_46- November 17, 2011 at 10:04 pm
This is UFC heavyweight contender Matt Mitrione, Aaron can't answer the phone right now, hes touching himself and watching the Golden Girls. He'll call you back in 30 minutes, actually 35 so he can clean up.
Goat- November 17, 2011 at 5:18 pm
Hi, I'm Matt Mitrione, if you don't know who I am, I don't care. I'm leaving this message for Chris, who's probably doing something funny or cool, or both, who knows? I sure don't! But that's cool with me. Is it cool with you? I hope so! Have a nice day!
Poutine Guillotine- November 17, 2011 at 5:17 pm
If there is a formerly mustached man named Mazzagatti mysteriously moping, maybe me, Matt'Meathead'Mittrone might make a mad amount of mango muffins with margarine melting Mazzgatti's mean mug magically
Leave a mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmessage!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ballentine- November 17, 2011 at 5:06 pm
Howdy, stranger! This is Matt Mitrione. If things have gone wrong, I'm talking to myself and you don't have a wet towel around your head. Now, whatever your name is, get ready for the big surprise. You are not you, you're me.
djp1988- November 17, 2011 at 3:38 pm
Hey this is UFC Heavyweight Matt Mitrione. I know what you're thinking and no, I don't train UFC. That's where I fight. I train MMA. That would be like training NFL. Which would be stupid. I can't believe in this day and age people still call it that. I don't go to your job and say "Hey, that guy's a Walmart". Wrong. You just work there.

Anyway, Derek isn't here. He's probably training UFC.
landOencagement- November 17, 2011 at 3:29 pm
I’m sorry, Mr. Apodaca can’t come to the phone right now because he is learning to council people with words since he couldn’t find a real job counseling people with his fists, like that UFC Heavyweight guy Matt Mitrione, man isn’t he something. Anyway, leave him a message and he’ll probably call you back and try to talk about some dumb crap that he read on the internet. Thanks and have a great day!
StinkFacer- November 17, 2011 at 2:28 pm
Hey, this is Matt Mitrione, Im sorry Kongo didnt want to fight, and decided to run from me for 3 rounds. On a positive note, at least he didn't kick my testicles into my abdomen. Oh, and you can leave a message and stuff.
myklhoey- November 17, 2011 at 1:45 pm
@ angry little feet
we may have somethin here, huh, huh, do you feel it, ya embrace it,
call me
myklhoey- November 17, 2011 at 1:43 pm
ayy this is matt, i fight,
what eva you were thinkin of talkin about cut that $h!t short, dude aint here,
if you here a beep and get confused your a waste of time and should expect nuttin, expect rejection