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Pro Wrestling Stuff We Want To See In MMA

By Jason Moles

A large percentage of MMA fans grew up as fans of pro wrestling.

Back in the day, you watched Saturday morning cartoons and then WWF Superstars. A couple of days later, you took your pick between Monday Night Raw and WCW Monday Nitro. There even came a point when you could scratch your mid-week ‘rasslin’ fix with the help of Smackdown. For a select few of you, body slams and face paint wasn’t enough and you tuned into Paul Heyman’s ECW in hopes of seeing someone power bombed off the top of a steel cage through multiple burning tables. As soon as you were introduced to “No-Holds Barred” fighting thanks to Ken Shamrock, you were hooked. You started renting UFC VHS tapes and the followed The Ultimate Fighter.

It’s been an incredible journey thus far as a fan of fighting, both choreographed and otherwise, but you can’t help but miss a few of these iconic pieces of your childhood while wishing MMA would get their own version.

Ice Cream Bars

Today’s youth are nothing but a bunch of over sensitive, technology loving, benchwarmers. Instead of snacking on Hulk Hogan, Macho Man, or the Ultimate Warrior ice cream after a BJJ or wrestling class, they prefer a SpongeBob or Dora treat (could be worse) before their LAN party. If those little snowflakes are the future of America, somebody toughen them up, and soon. Give these kids an “Iceman”, GSP, or Brock Lesnar ice cream and we may have a country to be proud of in the next generation.

 

 ’Legends of’ Video Game

The UFC ‘Undisputed’ video game franchise does include a few MMA legends here and there, and the latest installment looks to do a pretty solid job of offering us some of the best PRIDE fighters, but fans want more. Where’s our Ken Shamrock, Royce Gracie, or Tank Abbott in their prime? If the video game version of Cro Cop can’t beat Shane Carwin, the game is deplorable. Hey, while they’re at it, let’s hope they give us one-night tournaments and groin strikes too!

Foam Fingers

The UFC on Fox fight card brought the sport a lot of attention, a 64-second knockout, and the first(?) MMA foam finger-esque piece of memorabilia. Are these kinda cheesy? You bet. Typically overpriced? Uh-huh. Will the sight of you wearing one decrease your chance of scoring with one of the Octagon girls at the after party? Nope, you can’t get any less of a chance than zero. We’re guys and we love brightly colored crap we’ll never use again, if only just to have a souvenir to remember the time we saw the pride of Mexico get chewed up and spit out faster than a Meximelt at Taco Bell.

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myklhoey- November 17, 2011 at 8:17 pm
ummmm i donno
i hope theres a 3 rd option
McLuvin- November 17, 2011 at 7:13 pm
@myklhoey- Are you just stupid or are you intentionally trying to type like a retard?
Crow42- November 17, 2011 at 3:07 pm
So true 1 of the resons MMA blew up is casue a whole generation grew up out of Pro Wrestling, Say what u want but wrestling was ok in the mid 90s.
I hope the only thing MMA does 2 incorporate Wrestling in it , is marketing OHH wait they did that with spider vs Shonnen
Cestus84- November 17, 2011 at 12:20 pm
I wanna see wider isles so fans won't steal fighters hats or beanies. But besides that, I'm gonna say some indoor pyro again. I'm not talking about when fighters enter the octagon, I mean like whent he ppv starts. After the soon to be gone gladiator intro, the camera pans out and shows the entire arena w/ fans cheering some pyro going off above the octagon, followed by Goldie saying we welcome you once again.........to the Ulitmate Fighting Championship. Beyond that, I can't really think of anything else I'd like MMA or the UFC to do that pro wrestling, or the WWE does.
XENOPHON- November 17, 2011 at 12:15 pm
Any MMA fan who admit's to being a pro wrestling fan deserves to have a KOS order issued.
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WTF is a KOS, Kill On Sight.
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It's kind of like that 3rd hole Carmen alluded too.
CarmenValentina- November 17, 2011 at 9:15 am
I actually have seen stuff similar to those wrestling buddies, but they come with 3 holes, 1 for the mouth and the other two...never mind
jamiepert- November 17, 2011 at 9:04 am
don't take this the wrong way but this "article" is by no means worth posting.

With more and more MMA stars becoming vocal on the mic (like pro wrestlers) we don't want it to get too scripted etc... we don't want to hear of backstage altercations which are really part of the act.. the actions starts and finishes in the octagon - perhaps a little bit of tension at the way in and some smack talk at press conferences, but the UFC does not need anything from WWE.

@jam1epert
k-onda- November 17, 2011 at 8:35 am
Shifty-Eyed nailed it right on the head, good call
And child rape is not funny guys - raping your wrestling buddy on the other hand...
myklhoey- November 17, 2011 at 8:29 am
@karmaatemycat
if your reading in here whens your fight and who is it against, is the guy a strika or does he prefer ground work,
myklhoey- November 17, 2011 at 8:22 am
@me likey
bro i see your point, but heres mine, mma is in a league of its own, nobldy in there right mind is connectin the 2 and if they are there the type of people who belive every famous rappa is in the illuminati,
people are ginna hate on mma everyday, cant help it,
wrestlin wont add or subract from that.
but hay, im human and pron to mistakes i may be rong,
@hesh to steel
lol its pretty bad huh, i wish i had spell check on here but i dont so i go as close as i can
Hesh to Steel- November 17, 2011 at 8:13 am
Holy crap. "Coryograft"? Seriously?
Motivated Penn- November 17, 2011 at 8:02 am
Predetermined fights! Oh wait, we already got that with Anderson Silva - Forrest Griffin.
GistoftheFist- November 17, 2011 at 7:59 am
I have the updated version of the wrestlin buddies, the ones that talk when you slam the head, gut, or bend limbs. Neat thing about them is it counts a pin when you lay them flat. MMA versions of these would be neat, except then you're marketing MMA to kids.. :I
google- November 17, 2011 at 7:54 am
The ones who don't want to see it are the ones who weren't alive or old enough to rent VHS copy's of UFC matches. There the ones who didn't graduate from WWF to UFC. Just jumped on the bandwagon when it got hot. I see what the article is trying to say, I loved WWF back in the day, but now you can see real fighting, and thats why you watched WWF anyway when you where young, you thought it was real. Good article, even if M Russel wrote it.
munche- November 17, 2011 at 7:46 am
"Pro Wrestling Stuff We Want To See In MMA"

Nothing. I'd like to see all of the pro wrestling writers who desperately try to link MMA and pro wrestling all the time go back to writing for wrestling blogs and leave the MMA scene alone.
Me likey- November 17, 2011 at 7:41 am
@myklhoey
go into any football website. college or pro and find one written article connecting the two.
"now as im typin wen the yankees had a big bench war the guy callin the game said its like a wwe royal rumble down there,"
this is exatcly why people freak out. do you see the negative theme to that statement? A sport that is trying to establish legetimacy in both the political and social arena does not need to be lumped in with people pretending to hit each other with chairs and belts and such. we have the diaz brothers for that crap already.
KeithHackneyWindmillPalmStrike- November 17, 2011 at 7:26 am
They should have tag team fights...think about it....its possible, c'mon Japan, you've got nothing else going for you
myklhoey- November 17, 2011 at 7:24 am
football and otha sports may not be linked to wrestling, but they sure dont ignore it.
otha than baseball i renemba alot of talk about wtestling from both the nfl and nba and nhl and now as im typin wen the yankees had a big bench war the guy callin the game said its like a wwe royal rumble down there,
why are people who are fans of mma scared of wrestlin, mma will neva be thought of as predetermend or coryograft, unless shady boxin type promtors weasle there way in mma will be ok,
so stop freakin out ova wrestlin bein mentioned ona mma site
Shifty-Eyed Dog- November 17, 2011 at 7:06 am
I get that this was a tongue-in-cheek article, but it wasn't particularly funny.


...That being said, I think a Justice League-style Saturday morning cartoon starring the likes of Anderson, Brock, GSP, Chuck, Chael (for comic relief), etc... as crime-fighting heroes would be awesome!
ExpectJesusBro- November 17, 2011 at 7:05 am
awm, isn't that that cute... Skeletor is jealous of Danga.
ExpectJesusBro- November 17, 2011 at 7:03 am
Arianny could use that foam finger as a tampoon.
skeletor- November 17, 2011 at 6:50 am
@Danga - That was actually pretty awesome.
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fuck you
Me likey- November 17, 2011 at 6:42 am
@danga
older women who like young men are called cougars.
older men who like much younger boys are called nittany lions.
Viva Hate- November 17, 2011 at 6:38 am
I think the wrestling buddy of Arianny would be a hot seller and extremely accurate, same IQ and neither has a soul.
DangadaDang- November 17, 2011 at 6:31 am
If a kid wants a wrestling buddy all he has to do is visit a Penn State locker room. Zing!
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