Jacob Volkmann is a man of many faces; he is an excellent, if somewhat frustrating grappler, a small business owner, and someone who knows how to pick a nickname. But among those faces, you will not likely see Volkmann donning “the fight finisher” or “the comedian” anytime soon. If you, like Joe Rogan and the few audience members present for his decision victory over Efrain Escudero at UFC 141, didn’t find Jacob Volkmann‘s “glassectomy” bit to be all that amusing, then you weren’t alone. Lucky for us, our buddies over at MiddleEasy were able to catch up with “Christmas” recently, and allowed him to clarify his statement:
I heard that joke when I was six years old. ‘Glassectomy’ is when they cut your belly button out, put a piece of glass in there, and when you have your head up your butt so you can see where your going.
We guess that it’s just one of those “you had to be there” kind of jokes. Then again, we’re glad we weren’t there the day that one of the Volkmann clan opted to have this procedure carried out. But apparently one visit from the Secret Service was not enough to convince Volkmann that he might want to tone down the threats aimed at the leader of the free world, because when questioned on the specifics of his beef with Obama (and what he would do to him in a fight), Volkmann had the following to say:
My beef with Obama? It seems like all his decisions, he’s not really thinking them through, he’s basing his decisions, it seems like, on who is paying him the most money. They’re not really logical, they’re not good policies. Like making a home affordable plan, the health care plan he’s got, it’s like, ‘Where’d you come up with that? Were you even thinking when you wrote it?’ I would for sure take him down and submit him. I would try to make it a very painful submission though. Try and do like a Kimura or an armbar, try and rip it.
Now, far be it from us here at CP to throw our political views around, but this is getting kind of…weird. We get it Jacob, you are simply trying to expand your name brand, one which is mainly based upon a silly incident in your past. But have you heard of a mixed martial artist by the name of David “Hello Japan” Gardner, or perhaps, Yoshihiro “Kiss” Nakao? These are the ranks you are joining, Mr. Volkmann, and honestly, you seem like too nice a guy to lump in with those types, so maybe it’s time to end this charade and focus more on, you know, finishing fights.
I’ll level with you, Potato Nation; I am not an Obama fan. There, I said it. I’m not going to go into detail about my gripes with the man, mainly out of fear that the Secret Service would accidentally discover my illegal grow operation whilst paying me a visit, but suffice it to say, I agree with Volkmann to a degree. But when a public figure of any sort begins to market themselves on their political views rather than their profession, it just comes across as kind of…bleh. It’s the reason Alec Baldwin seems like he’d be a cool guy based on his TV persona, but is kind of a doucher in real life.
In either case, we’ll have a little more faith in Volkmann’s claims when he actually starts submitting fighters in the UFC.