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Quote of the Day: Jacob Volkmann on Barack Obama’s Arm – “I Would Rip It”

Jacob Volkmann is a man of many faces; he is an excellent, if somewhat frustrating grappler, a small business owner, and someone who knows how to pick a nickname. But among those faces, you will not likely see Volkmann donning “the fight finisher” or “the comedian” anytime soon. If you, like Joe Rogan and the few audience members present for his decision victory over Efrain Escudero at UFC 141, didn’t find Jacob Volkmann‘s “glassectomy” bit to be all that amusing, then you weren’t alone. Lucky for us, our buddies over at MiddleEasy were able to catch up with “Christmas” recently, and allowed him to clarify his statement:

 I heard that joke when I was six years old. ‘Glassectomy’ is when they cut your belly button out, put a piece of glass in there, and when you have your head up your butt so you can see where your going.

We guess that it’s just one of those “you had to be there” kind of jokes. Then again, we’re glad we weren’t there the day that one of the Volkmann clan opted to have this procedure carried out. But apparently one visit from the Secret Service was not enough to convince Volkmann that he might want to tone down the threats aimed at the leader of the free world, because when questioned on the specifics of his beef with Obama (and what he would do to him in a fight), Volkmann had the following to say:

My beef with Obama? It seems like all his decisions, he’s not really thinking them through, he’s basing his decisions, it seems like, on who is paying him the most money. They’re not really logical, they’re not good policies. Like making a home affordable plan, the health care plan he’s got, it’s like, ‘Where’d you come up with that? Were you even thinking when you wrote it?’ I would for sure take him down and submit him. I would try to make it a very painful submission though. Try and do like a Kimura or an armbar, try and rip it.

Now, far be it from us here at CP to throw our political views around, but this is getting kind of…weird. We get it Jacob, you are simply trying to expand your name brand, one which is mainly based upon a silly incident in your past. But have you heard of a mixed martial artist by the name of David “Hello Japan” Gardner, or perhaps, Yoshihiro “Kiss” Nakao? These are the ranks you are joining, Mr. Volkmann, and honestly, you seem like too nice a guy to lump in with those types, so maybe it’s time to end this charade and focus more on, you know, finishing fights.

I’ll level with you, Potato Nation; I am not an Obama fan. There, I said it. I’m not going to go into detail about my gripes with the man, mainly out of fear that the Secret Service would accidentally discover my illegal grow operation whilst paying me a visit, but suffice it to say, I agree with Volkmann to a degree. But when a public figure of any sort begins to market themselves on their political views rather than their profession, it just comes across as kind of…bleh. It’s the reason Alec Baldwin seems like he’d be a cool guy based on his TV persona, but is kind of a doucher in real life.

In either case, we’ll have a little more faith in Volkmann’s claims when he actually starts submitting fighters in the UFC.

-Danga

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Motivated Penn- January 4, 2012 at 12:23 am
SKK BB you fucking stole my post you faggot.
macreadysshack- January 3, 2012 at 5:53 pm
God, sub-100 IQ? Sorry, pal, you actually are NOT allowed to have opinions. Like OMG he totally nailed what's wrong with Obama! Damn, I wish Obama would read Volkman's ideas - it would change everything!
SKK BB- January 3, 2012 at 9:03 am
volk is a FOOL. thinking you'll get a title shot? that fight SUCKED. LAY AND PRAY. holy cow man, you're not even close to a title shot. and on the obama stuff: "ectomy" means "the removal of". so a glassectomy would be the removal of glass, not the installation. details aside, that joke is the dumbest joke i've ever heard. you've again made a fool of yourself.
Steve W- January 3, 2012 at 6:07 am
Volkmann strikes me as an all around idiot. Remember, he also called out Frankie Edgar and he has about as much chance of getting a lightweight title shot as I do.
KarmaAteMyCat- January 2, 2012 at 9:37 pm
I get the not so subtle feeling he knows nothing about Politics and should not discuss it in public until he does.
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Oh and just because you can vote doesn't mean you should.
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terrence- January 2, 2012 at 9:34 pm
Mind*
terrence- January 2, 2012 at 9:33 pm
CP writers aren't Obama fans???? Ming = Blown. Totally agree on the "keep your political beliefs to yourself"....especially on an mma website, but it's hard to believe after the site has thrown in quick jabs of support for the things like Health care, illegal substances, and gay stuff.
Charles Sheen- January 2, 2012 at 8:03 pm
Volkman is actually pretty representative of the Republican base: fucking morons. I fully admit that both sides suck BUT as a third generation NY firefighter NOBODY is worse than Republicans at squeezing us out. There are two types of Republicans: millionaires and suckers. When you are wondering why your underfunded fire department doesn't show up in time when you set your kitchen on fire I have news for you: blame the Republicans that cut us to the bone and everyone you know who votes for them. Republicans only look out for the rich. Democrats do the same but leave some room for the little guy. Cue moronic Palin-esque comments in 3...2...1
RwilsonR- January 2, 2012 at 7:34 pm
And anyone who believes a word of Howard Zinn's People's History... needs to read more history. Even the most communist historian (and I personally know many) admits what poor history Zinn's is responsible for, even if they agree with his motives and conclusions. Poorly researched, worse notations, factual errors, and outright fabrications... if it weren't for so many useful idiots wishing it to be true, it wouldn't be given a second thought as actual history, since it is not.
RwilsonR- January 2, 2012 at 7:29 pm
Not bad Danga. Those of us who aren't fans of Obama generally aren't fans of poorly formulated arguments against him by people doing so informs unsuited to the task... especially when there are so many excellent arguments to be made against the asshole in the Oval Office. Volkmann should just shut up and fight. We don't need any Sean Penns over here.
MoTropolis- January 2, 2012 at 6:19 pm
I imagine that is what Stewie would look like if he grew up.
El_Terrible- January 2, 2012 at 4:45 pm
Watching this moron speak gives me the same sensation as watching Saturday Night Live when it goes through those really painfully unfunny stretches. Or reading 50% of the articles on post-Fowlkes Cage Potato.
parchy mcthirst- January 2, 2012 at 4:43 pm
I applaud Volkmann. Fuck the haters. Let him say what he wants to about Obama
DangadaDang- January 2, 2012 at 4:42 pm
@Nomad
Funny you should mention Zinn; I actually had a video conference with the guy when I was in high school. Didn't agree with many of his views, but he's a cool dude and there is no denying his accomplishments. RIP Howard.
OnlyHuman- January 2, 2012 at 4:34 pm
Ron Paul 2012!
Motivated Penn- January 2, 2012 at 4:33 pm
The -ectomy suffix means "removal of". In Volkmanns joke, glass is being grafted to the body. I wouldn't let that chiropractor anywhere near my back.
smellypiratehooker- January 2, 2012 at 4:26 pm
Why couldn't he have said that he would rape it. Then dana could finish him.
NomadRip- January 2, 2012 at 4:15 pm
Volkmann should go read Zinn's A People's History of the United States if he thinks the president makes decisions.
bitteralex- January 2, 2012 at 3:54 pm
DAnga is the biggest douche around. There I said it.
Jackal- January 2, 2012 at 3:27 pm
Anyone thinking the president is making decisions needs to have their own arm broken.

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djp1988- January 2, 2012 at 3:14 pm
Volkmann was that kid in High School who tried WAY too hard to be popular by being the "funny guy" and just ended up creeping everyone out.
LukeTheDuke- January 2, 2012 at 3:00 pm
yall dont know sheeeee-ut.
Seoul Brother- January 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm
Jacob Volkmann is some kind of braindead jagoff moron. Whatever your political beliefs are, making threats against any President and their family is frowned upon by the Secret Service. With one visit from them, you'd think that Volkmann would have figured shit out, but just how goddamned stupid is he?
Pen Fifteen- January 2, 2012 at 2:53 pm
I said basically the same thing during the first such incident, but this guy is an idiot. If you're going to politically grandstand, you should have a more cogent critique than, 'you know, it's like the president's decisions aren't very smart. He makes decisions that are dumb, instead of smart. Know what I mean?' This guy is like a white Nick Diaz.
mt59801- January 2, 2012 at 2:35 pm
Fuck all of DC at least he's not scared of the feds....homie. The whole country needs to man the fuck up and stop acting like a bunch of scared little kids. Speak with your wallets and fists not your votes.
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