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‘Ranger Up’ Caption Contest: The Winners!

(Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.)

After sifting through over 250 entries — most of them surprisingly hilarious — we are pleased to announce the winners of our latest caption contest, brought to you by Ranger Up. But first, some honorable mentions…

danomite: Angela could only watch and wait patiently for the day to come when she too would be old enough to drunkenly walk over to some guy she’s never met before and ask him to scribble his name on her boobs.

jimmylegs: Guy in the background: "Which one do you want? I’ll take the freaky chick wearing the hat."

Slampage: Darrill Schoonover gets a sweet autograph from Urijah.

Harry Nips: "We’re keeping it PG-13 for the kid. Urijah, do you mind putting some underwear on your ass-chin?"

cagepotato: "I can’t wait to go home and show this to my boyfriend, Jose."
[Ed. note: No, we're not shouting out ourselves. Some joker started an account as "cagepotato" to post this. Luckily, he/she did us proud.]

hotsaucemonster: "and could you make it out to Ebay?"

Millertime84: Do me a Faber, sign these Knockers.
[Ed. note: As the great Mark Twain once said, "If you don't like a good pun, then fuck you."]

And the winners are…

Johnnymack: Shortly after this photo was taken, Faber tweeted a picture of yet another swollen body part…

sancho721: Former champ signs former skinny girl’s former perky boobs.

OneMorePunchFujita: Shoulda done that to Aldo. Only way he’d have left a mark on him.

Johnny, Sancho, and Fujita — please e-mail with your shirt size and the Ranger Up design you’d like (of the three new styles pictured below), and we’ll get them out to you ASAP. Now bitch away, losers!

(War Eagle Flag)

(War Eagle Crown)

(Phoenix Rising)

Cagepotato Comments

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OneMorePunchFujita- September 2, 2010 at 6:37 pm
Fuck. I didn't know I won this shit. Do I still get my shirt?
pinkyslayer- May 4, 2010 at 9:53 pm
holy shit, youre right....each one of those captions were absolutely hilarious. good job, posters.
jimmylegs- May 4, 2010 at 9:07 pm
I'd have to agree and give top spot to sancho721. Honorable mention is still pretty cool.
Dickface- May 4, 2010 at 5:53 pm
You see, the position of your nipple makes your boobs look like Sammy Davis Jr
ghostboner- May 4, 2010 at 3:51 pm
ElFamousBurrito - I liked two of yours. And the Bob Ross was spot on, and hilarious. Nothing wrong with drinking alot, in your underpants.

Of the ones chosen by these commie Douglas Crosby cohorters and cahooters, I gotta say Sancho is the best.
Ratel- May 4, 2010 at 12:59 pm
Thanks for the support. To be judged a winner (or top fiver) by my peers, rather than these commie-judges, is a victory in itself. I think somebody got paid off. :)
Komodo- May 4, 2010 at 12:07 pm
Those were pretty fucking good, grats dudes :)
k-onda- May 4, 2010 at 10:27 am
Yeah, Sancho had me going, that's the winner in my book, good shit man.
cecils_pupils- May 4, 2010 at 9:49 am
congrats to the winners and to the whiners... y'all are punny people!

i will dress as pedobear for Halloween this year... it just needs to be done.
sancho721- May 4, 2010 at 9:31 am
I finally won something, Fightpicker always destroys me. I did the same with my email reply
Johnnymack..- May 4, 2010 at 9:05 am
I hope I did that right. I e-mailed what shirt I wanted and put my adress in there too. Seeing as how cagepotato didn't have it.
Bob Reilly- May 4, 2010 at 9:04 am
Harry Nips FTW!
NinJay- May 4, 2010 at 8:47 am
Oh wow the Pedo-moment should have won hands down. I read them all..chuckled like twice, then read the comments giving Ratel the credit he deserves. I laughed like a complete idiot in the middle of the office at that comment. Newdad failed...yet again.
hotsaucemonster- May 4, 2010 at 8:24 am
ha i completely forgot i entered this
El Famous Burrito- May 4, 2010 at 8:04 am
M Russ, this is what we do for every caption contest.

We spend hours making stupid jokes, then bitch that the winners were not, in fact, the best captions and the prize should go to someone else. Mainly, ourselves.

I mean, I spent a lot of time on that Bob Ross impression and I thought it was pretty spot on, but I do drink a lot and watch PBS in ragged old boxer shorts, so my opinion might be skewed.
Patrick- May 4, 2010 at 7:59 am
^ Nah, Sancho's was the funniest. Definitely. I lold.
So congrats, Sancho, you win a really ugly shirt that will make you look like a tasteless douchebag!
CapitalQ- May 4, 2010 at 7:58 am
sancho got it fair and square. Jimmylegs was just a chuckle in my book.
El Famous Burrito- May 4, 2010 at 7:57 am
Cecil Peoples strikes again!

Maybe if we had cracked a few Molson jokes, we'd be wearing those sweet t-shirts right now.

ReX13- May 4, 2010 at 7:57 am
Ratel Says:
Wed, 04/28/2010 - 10:46
Before every moment, there's a pedo-moment.




Something needs to be done about these judges. Is there an accreditation course we can sign them up for?
Yves Latrine- May 4, 2010 at 7:44 am
Boo! Jimmylegs was head, shoulders and ass-chins above the rest.
El Famous Burrito- May 4, 2010 at 7:41 am
The best one was (and I can't remember who said it)

"Before every moment there is a pedo-moment."

Smitty- May 4, 2010 at 7:40 am
Who are you, Jimmylegs brother??? That was soooo not funny. Sancho721's was the best.
I Know Nothing- May 4, 2010 at 7:37 am
Sorry but Jimmylegs had the funniest quote
ubidoob- May 4, 2010 at 7:31 am
Well played folks... I laughed my ass off after reading those comments.

(especially sancho721's...)