(Perhaps the greatest “It’s time!” in UFC history. Thank you, Brazil.)
I know it’s a pretty obvious fact to state, but I would be remiss if I did not tell you that Bruce Buffer is the greatest ring announcer to ever walk the face of this or any other planet, bar none. The man’s passion for his job is unmatched by his counterparts (sorry, Jimmy Lennon Jr., but you gotta step your shit up!), and his in-ring enthusiasm harnesses enough power and masculinity to immaculately conceive with over 90 percent of his audience, male or female, on any given night. Seriously, Buffer has the Howard Sternian ability to bring a woman to full climax using only the sound of his voice and a speaker with the bass cranked up, except when he does it, the woman throws herself into a volcano afterward. And as far as Buffer’s ocular presence goes; have you even seen the Buffer two-step? How about the Buffer 360? The man simply dominates in every medium he is presented with.
However, in the past couple UFC events, the Buffernation has noticed a infinitesimal, yet present crack in Bruce’s armor. Mainly, his decision to start saying “It’s fight time!” rather than his traditional “It’s time!” when introducing the main event. The audiences in attendance simply could not wrap their minds around this concept, and their reactions varied from this to this. Riots almost immediately broke out in downtown L.A after the world was greeted by this abomination at UFC on FOX 4, and many of us went as far as to claim that it was the exact moment the UFC reached its tipping point.
Thankfully, Lord Bruce has realized his mistake, which he attributed to “going through some marketing aspects” in a recent interview, and claims that we can all expect the classic “It’s time!” at the next UFC event. So rest assured, Potatoites, all is once again Yub Nub in the land of mixed martial arts.
In honor of this return to glory that the UFC really needed in light of recent events, we’ve placed a behind-the-scenes look at the making of the Buffer 360, for nostalgia’s sake, along with a tribute to the man behind it all, below. Enjoy.
The Making of the Buffer 360
Bruce Buffer: A Tribute
In unrelated news, nearly 2,000 of you have voted in our Ken Shamrock Questionable Assault Poll thus far, and a staggering 85.6% of you agreed that Shamrock had just cause to believe that the woman he struck was actually a man. We have never been so proud of you.