(Rich’s chest-tattoo is fascinating. He literally buried a pitbull under a rose garden.)

I just want you guys to know that this is the last time we’ll be reporting on the various opponent switches for Shinya Aoki at DREAM.17. If this latest booking falls through, you’ll just have to be surprised on May 29th, because at this point we’re as tired of this mess as you are. And yeah, it’s kind of cruel to be hatin’ on a disaster benefit show, but GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, JAPAN.

Aaaaaanyway, here’s the latest. After Antonio McKee was pulled from the event under mysterious circumstances, DREAM moved to the next name on the list to face Aoki, which happened to be (of all people) BJ Penn training partner and Junie Browning drinking partner Shane Nelson. Nelson turned in a completed bout agreement, but Shinya politely declined the match, which we kind of respect. Nevertheless, Nelson was awarded a two-fight deal with DREAM for his troubles. (Cash equivalent: 1/20th of one cent.)

DREAM quickly scrambled and got in touch with a fairly more legitimate name: Rich Clementi. 40-19-1 overall, the UFC veteran and submission specialist holds career wins over Anthony Johnson, Sam Stout, and Melvin Guillard (the infamous “nuts on my neck” fight), but has struggled recently in regional promotions, going 7-5 since being bounced out of the UFC in 2009. “No Love” last competed at Superior Challenge 7 in Sweden last month, dropping a very controversial decision to Reza Madadi, which he unsuccessfully appealed.

Luckily, Aoki has verbally agreed to face him. As long as Clementi can resist the urge to greet his host country during the fight, this could be a surprisingly good scrap.