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Robert ‘The Watermelon-Assasin’ Burneika Is Your MMA Freak of the Day


(Props: YouTube.com/RobertBurneika via CagePotato reader Piotr B. Skip to 1:47 for the good stuff.)

Robert Burneika is a cartoonishly bulky, Lithuanian-born bodybuilding champion who goes by the nickname “Hardkorowy Koksu,” which Google tells me is Polish for “Hardcore Coke.” (I guess the dude likes to party?) Following in the footsteps of Mariusz Pudzianowski, Burneika is set to make his MMA debut in the main event of MMA Attack 2, April 27th in Spodek, Poland. Coincidentally, or maybe not coincidentally, Burneika will be facing off against Marcin Najman (0-2), best known as the guy who Pudzianowski steamrolled in his own MMA debut.

To this point, Burneika’s martial arts experience has been limited to fucking up watermelons, although he’s apparently been picking up some knowledge from Robert Drysdale lately. Here’s a clip of Hardcore Coke in action, showing off his Gallagher-inspired high-kicks. If he can land that thing on Najman, we’ll have a new super-hulk contender on our hands. After the jump: Burneika works the heavy bag and shows off his cooking skills.

For more bizarre fighters and very, very occasional watermelon coverage, check out the fights and other sports over at Buzzer Beat. You won’t regret it.

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DanasPottyMouth- March 1, 2012 at 9:41 am
Its a fucking perfect wedge that fucking came out. He fucking pre-cut after first fucking kick....
dobryskun- March 1, 2012 at 6:27 am
hi guys
Hardkorowy Koksu means "hardcore anabolic user" ;)

and someone says that watermelon dont fight back - just as his opponent Marcin Najman ;)
it will be funny freakshow :D ->
http://mma-attack.net/index.php?mact=News,cntnt01,detail,0&cntnt01articleid=61&cntnt01returnid=72
Kimbo Lesnar- February 29, 2012 at 8:58 pm
"Hardkorowy Koksu"?? Looks more like Hardcore Kok su__, than hardcore coke.
HomeSchooled- February 29, 2012 at 8:19 pm
he looks so funny doing those kicks
tysonmcneely- February 29, 2012 at 7:21 pm
Slow your role osk. This guy clearly has never taken steroids.

Also, I love his textbook boxing technique in the second video. "Sweet Science" indeed.
osk- February 29, 2012 at 5:53 pm
"koksu" is not coke bro! thats mean anabolic steroids user god dammit. Peace :D
Ricardo Guitardo- February 29, 2012 at 4:37 pm
Actually the translation I got was "Coke Badass"
IronClad- February 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Im impressed his feet could leave the ground, seriously.
parchy mcthirst- February 29, 2012 at 12:07 pm
The guy is fucking wheezing after a barely managing to defeat a watermelon via kicks
blaphtome- February 29, 2012 at 11:23 am
Anyone whose trained even a little, sees guys like this as being the same or possibly less dangerous than your average fat "tough guy". Unfortunately for the sport (MMA); there are a lot of these bodybuilder types who don't know how to deal with the fact that no one equates big muscles with being a badass anymore and we find ourselves having to see silly people such as this around the sport.
mothercruncher- February 29, 2012 at 10:35 am
I give him one minute before he's purple and completely gassed out.
LOKI- February 29, 2012 at 10:31 am
Stupid Pollock, thats not how you stop a Russian invasion!
MMAposeur- February 29, 2012 at 9:50 am
He's tragically been testosterone deficient since the age of 2... poor little guy.
Morningwood- February 29, 2012 at 9:24 am
he's slightly more boring to listen to the Jacob Volkmann.
Dagnut- February 29, 2012 at 9:20 am
It's like watching a bull trying to do Ballet..stick to the bodybuilding chump....as soon as he meets an opponent with any technique I predict a purple faced tap from latic overload in round 2...
Fried Taco- February 29, 2012 at 9:04 am
Whenever I see guys like this, it reminds me of Randy from The Christmas Story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgeyexOAOIg
amsterdamheavy- February 29, 2012 at 8:41 am
watermelon does not kick back
LukeTheDuke- February 29, 2012 at 8:27 am
He has to lose 80 pounds before I can take him seriously.
Kid Clam Curtains- February 29, 2012 at 8:19 am
Based on this juice monkey's arms alone he'd gas in under 2 minutes in an mma fight. Repping 495 on bench is pretty awesome though. He would dominate JDS in a pushup contest.
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