Judging by his Twitter updates, Roy Nelson is really looking forward to tonight’s episode of "The Ultimate Fighter," perhaps so much so that he’s willing to spoil it for all 180 of his followers (and oh yeah, CagePotatoMMA is among that lucky few). So what exactly should we take from this cryptic missive? Let’s see if we can deconstruct these three sentences and find out what it is "Big Country" is really trying to say:
- Roy’s reference to Babe Ruth — not the candy bar — is clearly an attempt to distract fans from his own physique by reminding them of a great athlete with an even less impressive body than his own. It’s kind of the same trick that girls use when they surround themselves with hideously-dressed bridesmaids on their wedding day.
- But Nelson’s Babe Ruth comment is actually a question: how many people know who the Babe is? Answer: everyone who is at least aware of the existence of baseball. And tomorrow morning, who will know who Roy Nelson is? Everyone who is at least aware of MMA. Which is not as many people as baseball, but still.
- Finally, Roy expresses gratitude to the man who invented baseball. Although no one knows for sure who invented the game, Abner Doubleday usually gets the credit. And who was he? An army officer who served in the Civil War and, more importantly, the campaign against the Seminole Indians in Florida. What state does Kimbo Slice call home? Florida.
- But Doubleday also fought at Fort Sumter, which is where the first shots were fired in the Civil War on April 12, 1861. The Union wound up surrendering Fort Sumter, but winning the war four years later.
So what does it all mean? Obviously, Kimbo Slice stuns Roy Nelson with a big right hand in the opening seconds, but Nelson comes back to win with a choke submission late in the fight, then rewards himself with a candy bar. Case closed. Enjoy the show, everybody.