MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Rumor: Junior Dos Santos’ Pre-UFC 155 Personal Problems Involved Split With Wife

When Junior Dos Santos attempted to write off his lopsided defeat to Cain Velasquez at UFC 155 as the result of “personal” issues, most of us just assumed that he was having a difficult time facing the fact that he was bested by a man he had previously destroyed. “Excuses are like assholes,” commented at least one of you. “JDS was way to overconfident and paid for it,” said a few others.

However, if the rumors currently circulating the MMA blogosphere have any truth to them, it was actually Armfarmer who provided the most astute observation of JDS when he declared that “Maybe he finally realized that he’s married to a 2 when he could be pulling 10′s left and right. That realization would sure cause me some distracting personal problems..” A bit harsh? Surely, but according to Tatame’s Guilherme Cruz, Dos Santos was in fact in the process of separating from his wife of ten years in the lead-up to UFC 155:

If you were wondering what JDS meant when said he has personal issues prior to Cain’s rematch, he ended his 10-year marriage w/ Vilsana. 

Dos Santos has yet to confirm or deny these rumors as of this write-up, although it would surely add some credibility to Dos Santos’ claims that his head wasn’t right in the weeks leading up to his title defense.

Now, we could easily use this opportunity to start lobbing pot-shots at Dos Santos’ wife, but for once in our life, we’re going to take the high road. Besides, we imagine that you readers will more than make up for our discretion in the comments section anyway. It’s what we call having your cake and eating it too: a concept that Dos Santos’ wife is no doubt familiar withDAMN IT ALL TO HELL.

-J. Jones

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mma4ever- January 20, 2013 at 8:45 am
The thing is ..the sexy bitch don't wear underwear thats why he divorced her ass. So whose gitch is she ironing? Is it cains?
Mr_Misanthropy- January 19, 2013 at 4:13 pm
Now he doesn't have to hide his embarrassment from the neighbors while she irons her underwear on the driveway.
teep- January 19, 2013 at 3:18 pm
Who actually left who? Because I don't think SHE can find anyone better that JDS in Brazil. Do they have pre-nups in Brazil? And this had to go down before a title fight! What a bitch!
LesnarsIntestine- January 19, 2013 at 12:08 pm
perfect.
ktronics- January 19, 2013 at 11:54 am
So JDS meets this 'lovely woman' at a restaurant he worked at when he was 19. Knocks her up, gets married. Not much of a surprise it is ending this way. It's a pretty common story really..
LesnarsIntestine- January 19, 2013 at 11:52 am
Im a stand-up comedian. This has been a test of my emergency insult broadcast system. Had this been an actual emergency, I would have insulted you all so thoroughly you would feel uglier than Vilsana looks. And now, we return you to your regularly scheduled terrible comments.
Mr_Misanthropy- January 19, 2013 at 4:11 pm
Try the prime rib and don't forget to tip yer waitress!
mma4ever- January 19, 2013 at 11:37 am
Ravens a dick
Kimbos Bread- January 19, 2013 at 6:16 am
Someone give "Lesnarsintrstine" a life time supply if shirts already. It's all gold.
Thumblaster- January 19, 2013 at 6:04 am
@lesnarsintestine strong work, but I think your giving her to much credit she's uglier than you've said. The busted shineyness of her grill is impossible to put into words.
Flying Wristlock- January 19, 2013 at 4:50 am
That's edgy, bro.
LesnarsIntestine- January 19, 2013 at 4:23 am
"What the fuck is wrong with you all?" said the infected asswart looking pile of horse shit.
"Are you just generally shallow, cruel, judgmental assholes or are you so physically beautiful yourselves that you don’t understand any deviation from the perfection of outer beauty?"
He wiped the trail of drool from his jowels, and sighed deeply, reflecting upon how cruel the other children had been on the bus.
"This is almost as bad as being force-fed a booger, or getting your nipple twisted every day!" He screamed at no one in particular. People just didn't understand his love for Pokemon! One day they would all pay...
LukeTheDuke- January 19, 2013 at 4:06 am
Reckon Jr.'s about a 2 after his fight with Cain.
Flying Wristlock- January 19, 2013 at 3:10 am
What the fuck is wrong with you all? Are you just generally shallow, cruel, judgmental assholes or are you so physically beautiful yourselves that you don't understand any deviation from the perfection of outer beauty?
sixthsense- January 18, 2013 at 11:35 pm
she can be seen in the ambulance with JDS in Dana's 2nd vlog this week though...
imnotgay- January 18, 2013 at 11:00 pm
that is a man, a very fat, ugly man and isn't Brazil home of tranny porn, so I've heard u know.
BlueDaBaDee- January 18, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Wouldn't hit that shit with Colin Fletcher's penis
masterbaitntackle- January 18, 2013 at 9:58 pm
Wondering where's the lying sack o' feces that's gonna say "I'd hit that".....
BigAngryPurple- January 18, 2013 at 9:45 pm
he divorced her because she's one of the main characters in "the hobbit" movie.
LesnarsIntestine- January 18, 2013 at 8:20 pm
at*
LesnarsIntestine- January 18, 2013 at 8:03 pm
She gives motivational speaches as the Shriners childrens hospital.
BigAngryPurple- January 18, 2013 at 9:47 pm
and then moonlights in the ring at the shriners' circus.
LesnarsIntestine- January 18, 2013 at 8:01 pm
I bet she has cloven hooves.
LesnarsIntestine- January 18, 2013 at 8:00 pm
I saw her on an episode of Maury once.
LesnarsIntestine- January 18, 2013 at 7:59 pm
She looks like the fake head that Arnold Schwarzineggar wore in the origonal Total Recall.
LesnarsIntestine- January 18, 2013 at 7:58 pm
She needs to send her face back to the prostisis store, its defective.
gutzy24- January 18, 2013 at 7:54 pm
Hey, it was nice of him to date that burn victim, but he didn't have to marry her.... Looks like she rolled out of bed one day, and was hit with a big bag of "What the fuck!"..... Who knows fellas, maybe she can suck start a leaf blower?...JDS's most regrettable quote while drunk "If you let me fuck you in the ass I'll marry you!"
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