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Sad Video of the Day: James Irvin Loses XARM Debut. Yes, Loses.

(Video via MachinimaPrime)

In MMA, as in life, you never want to leave it in the hands of the judges. The same rule applies for the absurd parody of a combat sport known as XARM. Up until now, we’ve just thought that XARM involved two guys swinging wild haymakers at each other with their hands tied together, but it turns out that you actually can win or lose by pin — just like in real arm-wrestling. And James Irvin recently learned that the hard way during his depressing promotional debut against XARM veteran  Fred “Big Cat” Steen.

Steen successfully pins Irvin’s arm in rounds one and two, meaning that Irvin needs a knockout in round three to win the match. And while the Sandman lands some good shots in that final frame, Steen spends much of the third round hanging back (literally), stalling his way to a decision win. Honestly, these goddamned point-fighters are ruining the sport.

I’d update the James Irvin “Why Me?” timeline, but who even cares at this point. For further viewing, watch this XARM profile of James Irvin, where Irvin explains that he works full-time at the UFC Gym (possibly alongside another legendary UFC striker), incorrectly claims that he still holds the UFC’s fastest knockout record, and bitches about his damn taxes.

Cagepotato Comments

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afasfs- August 21, 2012 at 6:42 pm
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tjbaron- August 21, 2012 at 3:46 am
In the end, XARM is a joke, a hilarious one at that. But... this might the best XARM fight I've ever seen. At least Irvin's beard looks good.
Crow42- August 20, 2012 at 11:45 pm
Wow who do they really think they targeting with this sport?
tjbaron- August 21, 2012 at 3:37 am
This comment was funny up until the word 'Aliens'.
weedrulz15- August 20, 2012 at 7:04 pm
Someone needs to find the inventor of this sport and decapitate his entire family in front of him, immediately.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 20, 2012 at 10:57 pm
Now there is a sport I would watch.
Alan K- August 20, 2012 at 2:33 pm
Those people in the stands aren't there of their own free will, are they? ARE THEY????
tjbaron- August 21, 2012 at 3:41 am
I did some work as an extra for tv shows and movies, and one gig was to sit in the audience of the new American Gladiators, I think it was that show. The one with Hulk Hogan and Gina Carano was one of the gladiators, right? Yea, she's hot as fuck IRL. Anyway, chances are they're paid to be there.
poo_ghost- August 20, 2012 at 1:13 pm
Seriously, what self respecting grown ass man has a tongue ring?? Those "pins" wouldn't be legal in a real arm wrastlin competition. There really is no way to pollish this turd.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 20, 2012 at 12:18 pm
AAAAAAAAAiiiirrrrrggghhhhhhh! It burns it burns! I must sterilize my eyes with lighter fluid!
FilmDrunk- August 20, 2012 at 10:06 am
Phew, for a second there, I was worried that video wouldn't have dubstep.
McAsshole- August 20, 2012 at 9:51 am
And somewhere, Harry Bosko is shaking his head. Stick to double elimination competition Irvin.
RwilsonR- August 20, 2012 at 8:43 am
Lincoln Hawk was very disappointed with this stalling technique.
Viva Hate- August 20, 2012 at 8:18 am
Is this rock bottom for the Sandman? Or is that when he loses during Bum Fights XXI: James Irvin vs. Anton Jackson?
Pen Fifteen- August 20, 2012 at 8:14 am
Incredible that someone has already developed a technique equivalent to lay and pray in this sport.
J.Jones- August 20, 2012 at 8:08 am
I will never forgive Irvin for participating in something so stupid that it made me yearn for the days of Shockfights.
FightZen- August 20, 2012 at 7:58 am
I'm pretty sure the Sandman gases in the third round.
Kobi123- August 20, 2012 at 7:47 am
what?! winning with a pin? in arm wrestling?! that can't be, you can only win by KO or biting your opponent's arm off
SethF- August 20, 2012 at 7:46 am
It's amazing how adorable the Angry Beavers theme song makes this tragedy.
The12ozCurls- August 20, 2012 at 7:41 am
This looks like an event from American Gladiators back in the early 1990's. If you play Yackety Sax over this entire display of idiocy - the video is tolerable.
arthurFonzerelli- August 20, 2012 at 7:30 am
that guy looks like beetle juice from howard stern