(And you had to pay your own medical bills, too? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!)

Thanks to everybody who entered our Safe caption contest! After carefully considering 132 of your entries today, and ranking them by the volume of my laughter, we have an obvious winner that will be picking up four movie passes to Safe (which hits theaters this Friday, April 27th). But a lot of you were throwing down nuggets of comedy gold, so let’s start off with some honorable mentions…

The12ozCurls: This is the picture next to the word “DICKNAILED” in the dictionary

Tyr: Note to self: Never wear a CagePotato t-shirt to a UFC expo.
[Ed. note: Exceptions can be made if you're enormous, or heavily-armed.]

albyvader: He just escaped from Tom Cruise’s basement.

Smitty: photographer: “Ok now lean back on both hands…show me sexy…show me painful sexy.”

JTBlock: “So let’s call it a draw and both go home. No? Damnit.”

RSparrow: Step 1: Youtube “Mad World” Step 2: Stare at picture
[Ed. note: Yep, that works. Not as well as cueing up "Cool It Now" and staring at this gif, but it works.]

LOKI: And the sad part is none of us will ever know this poor shlub’s name or even care.

And the winner is…

whiterice: Roll with Cyborg they said. She couldn’t possibly still have a period they said.

That’s horrible, man — just horrible enough to win! Whiterice, please send your real name and address to contest@cagepotato.com, and we’ll hook you up with those Safe movie passes. As for the rest of you, just buy a ticket and see the flick the old-fashioned way, okay?