11 Famous Actors and Their Embarrassing Early Film Roles

For The Sake of UFC Fans Everywhere, Please Let Martin Kampmann Beat Jake Shields


(Video courtesy YouTube/MMANews.com)

If Jon Fitch has any clout left with the UFC since being fired and re-hired by the organization because of a dispute over signing over his likeness rights to the UFC Undisputed video game franchise, the American Kickboxing Academy fighter may get the winner of the UFC 121 welterweight tilt between Martin Kampmann and Jake Shields.

"The next time a title shot is coming around is probably going to be a while, so I’m kinda thinking I might wanna fight again before the title shot. The winner of Kampmann-Shields would be a perfect match-up. I’ve known Jake [Shields] for a long time. He’s a good friend of mine. I’m all about fighting the best guys in the world and we’ve known for a long time that this day would probably come where we’d have to fight. So be it."

If you recall, Fitch was supposed to get next dibs at the winner of the UFC 124 Kos-GSP showdown, but after his lacklustre win over Thiago Alves at UFC 117, Dana White reneged on giving him the next title shot, saying, "We’ll see," when pressed about it at the post-fight press conference.


If he gets his wish and there is a god, Kampmann will get the nod over Shields so we aren’t subjected to three rounds of Fitch and Shields dry humping, snuggling and spooning.

Seriously. If Joe Silva looks at that fight on paper and thinks "this one’s gonna be good," maybe it’s time he reconsiders his line of work. Never has either fighter been talked about in the same breath as the words, "exciting" or "fireworks" unless the word "not" appeared somewhere before them.

Looking at the UFC’s roster of 170-pound fighters, it seems more likely that the winner of the fight will be next in line for a title shot, so Fitch may have to settle for the loser.

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JaredB- October 13, 2010 at 4:56 pm
Joe Silva's been so off his game this year. Look at UFC 122 and 124, those cards are a goddamn mess and I don't want to hear any sass about injuries. Even on a free TV show Alessio Sakara vs. Jorge Rivera is *NOT* an acceptable sub main event, those guys barely deserve contracts!

This man was brilliant, seriously a god at putting together what fans wanted to see, in 2009 he made maybe one mistake (Silva vs. Leites, the rest was gravy)...what the hell happened to him this year?
Elentius- October 13, 2010 at 9:09 am
Snall has a good point. That could turn into slugging for sure.
fatbellyfrank- October 12, 2010 at 8:02 pm
@ RwilsonR, Mruss, totally agree RwR, what gives a writer who contributes an opinion based article to a website that thrives on these sort of stories, the right to express their opinion??
Next time you send in an opinion based article MRuss make sure it has no bias OK and that it doesn't just reflect your opinion.

(And yeah, I know, I had a bit of a whinge ab out the Diaz bagging, but thats my opinion)

Also, we as commenters need to ensure we deal in facts and objectivity, with no room for debate or differing opinions. I'm gonna set up a MMA website based purely on these points above, now I gotta think of a name....I know, I'll call it Bloodyelbow.com, no opinions, no musing, just facts, no jokes, no takin the piss, yep, I reckon Bloodyelbow will be a fun fun site for all.
fatbellyfrank- October 12, 2010 at 7:53 pm
@ MRuss, I didn't know you wrote NASCAR articles, where can I read them?
fatbellyfrank- October 12, 2010 at 7:52 pm
^^ extra assless? I am attempting to conceptualise this theory, does this mean that the entire ass cheek is exposed, on both sides of the ass? or does the extra assless take place moving around to the front, which would make them assless crotchless gay rodeo pants?
fatbellyfrank- October 12, 2010 at 7:48 pm
@ Mcbastard, I dont know if anyone really thinks Shieldzzzz is so bad, its just that the Jake Shields jokes have taken on a life of their own and they're now part of the furniture at CP, like an injoke for CPer's
I'm not convinced K-onda's Mum actually did read him Jake Shields fights to put him to sleep, but I sure as shit laughed out fucken loud when I read it.
Its just a bit of fun man, we all know Shields can hold his own
Mr_Misanthropy- October 12, 2010 at 5:54 pm
Bob Arum wears ass-less vinyl chaps to the gay rodeo.

(Yes yes, all chaps are ass-less, and this is why they are not pants. Gay rodeo chaps are extra ass-less, or so I've been told (no homo).)
cecils_pupils- October 12, 2010 at 5:37 pm
Bob Arum says that you are all fags.
Payday- October 12, 2010 at 5:26 pm
danomite deserves a comment of the year award.

The only way I would buy Fitch / Shields is if it was a WWE style "loser retires" match.

Goldberg: "Joe, is his arm in trouble here?"
Rogan: "Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
mynameisalsoben- October 12, 2010 at 5:03 pm
@Mike Russel
I know you dread all the criticism you're bound to get after every article - people still miss old dad I know - but c'mon son, dry humping? Either you really think boring grappling/wrestling is actually gay, or (more likely) its just a joke and shouldn't be taken too seriously...but are "grappling is gay" jokes actually funny to you? Or to anyone besides the run-of-the-mill Tapout douchebags at every bar? I think it just dumbs down the sport when you say stuff like that. And really its not so bad if you're just some random blog site that makes jokes and shouldn't be taken too seriously, but I know you're an accomplished journalist and you (and Ben) can write some serious, interesting shit, so its hard to know what to think. I guess I just want this site to go on to bigger and better things, but sometimes its discouraging to read stuff like that.
And besides, with the Fitch-Shields winner most likely fighting GSP, who wouldn't want to see who becomes the ultimate lay-n-pray champion of the world after they all fight??
RaymondClarence- October 12, 2010 at 4:59 pm
@McBastard. True true sir. Fitch, who I like a lot better than Shields, finished a good number of his earlier fights as well (Carnero, Fiorivanti etc...). We've all seen how much credit he gets for that lately (none).
McBastard- October 12, 2010 at 4:53 pm
Y'know, it's kinda unfair to label Shields a lay' n ' pray guy... before the Miller fight he finished eight straight opponents. Didja just start watching MMA this year?
RwilsonR- October 12, 2010 at 4:26 pm
@ MRuss - can you keep your opinions out of everything and add non-stop jokes, just like the completely objective, laugh-out-loud funny pieces represented by that Fowlkes fella? If not, you suck!

And if you write about NASCAR, please discourage any form of added excitement, especially of the variety that comes from large, firey, bloody crashes that might thin out the surprisingly uniform gene pool of the gawking crowd.

To conclude, from now on keep it bland and opinionless, yet witty and hilarious. Got it?
RwilsonR- October 12, 2010 at 4:16 pm
I come to CP specifically for the sexual innuendo.

Well... that and the overt 209ophobia.

I wouldn't have thought someone with "Amsterdam" in their name would be so rigid in their determination of what is 'acceptable' conduct.
stopdrinkingpee- October 12, 2010 at 4:14 pm
I agree with eviltwin. Poor show, CP. I miss old dad.
Shaky- October 12, 2010 at 3:27 pm
Spooning?!?! Dude not cool. Reminds me of that Matt Horwich interview where the lady interviewer says MMA is like two bodies in unison working towards an outcome. As MMA fans, we must have all heard the 'MMA is soo gay' criticisms that we should just ignore the possibility that it may in some way look sexual. That means NEVER EVER mentioning MMA in the same context as sex or intimacy acts.

Jon Fish vs Jake Shields I remember was discussed in another comments section, and I remember the conclusion of one commenter being that this possible confrontation would send the observers back in time 7 minutes or something. We should be careful of this.

Personally, I'm looking forward to either seeing the frustration on the face of Fitch or Shields when their gameplan is used against them or how many times they can each take each others back , kind of like playing leapfrog
Mike Russell- October 12, 2010 at 3:26 pm
Charming Charlie, go read Bloody Elbow and tell them you like their conventional opinions and generic articles...
Bill Jackson- October 12, 2010 at 3:25 pm
I'd love a collection of this Jake Shieldisms... so many good ones.
RaymondClarence- October 12, 2010 at 3:18 pm
Jake Shields is so boring, he reads "The Horse Whisperer" before his fights to get pumped up.
Charming Charlie- October 12, 2010 at 3:14 pm
Mike Russel, go write for NASCAR about how you want more crashes.
Fried Taco- October 12, 2010 at 3:11 pm
Maybe for once the UFC should allow pins to count as well?
Mr_Misanthropy- October 12, 2010 at 3:07 pm
I'll make sure I watch the fight with a bottle of smelling salts handy just in case though...
Mr_Misanthropy- October 12, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Shields vs. Fitch is the only decent match up for either one of these guys. If neither one of them can grapple-hump the other into submission it should make for a decent show. I don't mind wrestling matches as long as they are good and action packed. It's lay and pray top control that bores the shit out of everybody, dynamic fast-paced grappling is always fun to watch.
Videodrome_NOW- October 12, 2010 at 2:42 pm
@Dano
Another gem. Thank you.


Listen, I know everyone thinks Shields and Fitch is nothing but a bag of farts but if you throw Nick Lentz in there, expect an entire auditorium to conciously check out for 15 minutes and slip into Total Recall with Tom Lawlor. Seriously though, "lay n gay is the way these boys play all day" and it's history in the making. Isn't that what you homos wanna see?
itsgalf- October 12, 2010 at 2:11 pm
If Jake Shields and Jon Fitch fight, SOMEONE is going to get knocked out....and that someone will most likely be everyone in the audience.
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