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The Santino Defranco ‘TUF 9′ Blog #2: ‘You Can Get Egged or Drink a Beer’


(Not pictured: A plate of fish n’ chips n’ skulls.)

…in which Mr. Defranco moves into the house, meets Junie Rob, and continues to establish himself as a highly creative nickname-giver. Check out Santino’s gym at www.southwestmma.com.

***

Riddle me this reader: What has an insatiable need for negative attention, loves booze like dogs love chasing tails, and comes in pairs? That’s right. You’re all correct (except those from Kentucky, who still consider reading a sign of witchcraft)…It’s a Browning! Spike and the UFC got all they could ask for and more with the short-lived time Junie Jr. was on the show. What I am wondering is: Does their mother cringe at the sight of her children acting like complete donkeys on national television? Does she hope to someday be able to adopt a child from a third-world country who has some comprehension of etiquette? Who knows? What I do know is that Junie (turned younger brother Rob’s manager) encouraged him to act like an idiot. He told him to go nuts in the house and get his 15 minutes of fame. Unfortunately, Rob adhered to his brothers words of "wisdom", as you viewed on the tele.

I walked into the house after all the rest of the fighters, as I was being tended to by those medical types at the hospital after my hoofing received by the mini pony. I knew not any details of the personalities that awaited me behind the doors of the massive Ultimate Fighter house. And as I walked through the doors for the first time I was greeted by a drunk man that was slurring his words. At first acquaintance, I was unaware if he was a "limey" or an "American Eagle" as his words were nearly incomprehensible. The little fellow then proceeded to ask me, "Who are you? Are you an American? You have two choices, you can get egged or drink a beer." My response was, "That’s not even the slightest choice. Give me a beer." Then, as our stumbling friend made his way to the fridge for beer retrieval, I scurried my self out the back door and down the stairs to meet up with my other roommates.


Meeting the others in the house was as exciting as Christmas. I wanted to open my presents but was hoping I would like them all and not need anything returned. The cast was quite agreeable at first meeting. Nobody, outside the aforementioned, seemed bad. We were all getting along, and besides the huge elephant in the room, that is us all wanting to kill one another and sizing each other up, it was a pretty good time. Frank Lester was there and greeted me with a big hug. I had met Frank before when one of the fighters I train was on the same fight card as him. We shared a locker room and hung out for the night (he ko’d Rashad Evans little brother and TUF alum Lance Evans). Knowing someone was nice. Entering a house where I would reside for the next six weeks under the stressful conditions of the TUF house was made a little easier with Frankie there.

I threw my stuff in a room with the "Red Rocket", Ritchie Whitson, and acquainted myself with the others (there is only one person in the house that fits that description).

It was a little awkward having both Kiel Reid and Frank Lester in the house at the same time. They didn’t show a lot of Kiel, as he was quoting every movie released almost non-stop, and according to copyright laws, that won’t go over very well on TV. But, Kiel is one of the funniest people I have met. He was very entertaining and I, as well as most, thought he was hilarious. Kiel also had Tourette’s syndrome (which I can’t believe they didn’t mention), which made him have some facial ticks, adding to his all-around goofy demeanor. I believe his arm was broken pretty badly after the fight with Frankie, but the worst part of his loss was being in the locker room with him afterwards while he continuously forgot what happened in his fight, and the rest of us had to tell him over and over again that he had KO’d himself. He kept asking, "What did he hit me with?" And, when we told him he hit his head on the canvas, the look of dismay was unbelievable. He really needed that opportunity, just like the rest of us, but it was sad to see him that way. Add to that, the fact that his arm was in a cast at the elbow and shoulder for 8 weeks as well, is no consolation either (I was told by someone that had talked with him that that was the case…so don’t quote me on that).

The good thing about Junie Jr. being a complete trash bucket was that we all knew who to root for in his fight with Jason "Lee Harvey Oswald" Dent (you’ll figure out that nickname as the show goes on). Dent is a tough competitor and has actually fought twice in the UFC prior to his appearance on the show. Listen all, Jason is much better than what you got to see in his fight with Browning. He had a lot of pressure to perform in that fight and played it very safe to ensure his bed in the house.

The sad thing about Rob, which we all talked about after he had left, is that he was actually a nice kid. I believe it was Ritchie, that talked with him telling him he didn’t want to have to apologize to America on national TV like his brother did. After he realized that nobody was into his antics and that he didn’t need to make a heel out of himself like his brother did he calmed down a lot. He’s young and actually has a fiance, and decent job. It truly is a tragedy to see him known as Junie Jr.

TV will make you do some silly things, kids.

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sparkes- April 18, 2009 at 6:03 am
Not knocking the lads stand-up completely because he is obviously a flyweight banging with a lad a lot stronger but it wasn't impressive and didn't trouble the other fellow at all.

I can't see why the UFC doesn't include a class for the 135lb lads some great boxers and muay thai guys that size.
Scar Tissue- April 17, 2009 at 12:10 pm
If only Kiel had quoted Zombie Strippers...
Anonymous- April 17, 2009 at 11:05 am
Very enjoyable. Looking forward to more of these!!
Anonymous- April 17, 2009 at 10:23 am
Impressive standup. Are you blind or stupid? One right high kick would have finished him. Thay boy couldn't beat his meat!!!!! Good riddance and good article by Santino. Living in that house for 6 weeks with that douche would have been unbearable for everyone, US & UK. Glad to see him go.
Anonymous- April 17, 2009 at 7:07 am
Browning idiots. I'm from kentucky and I'm dissapointed to see the first names out of here being theirs. All I saw Rob do was cover up when the punches came raining and take a beating.
Brad- April 17, 2009 at 7:04 am
Good writing.
Mark- April 16, 2009 at 9:24 pm
what's next for rob browning? Everyone is talking crap but your standup was impressive.
Jason Genet- April 16, 2009 at 5:49 pm
Santino will be writing a weekly column for mmamadness.com as well as doing some behind the scenes video blogs.
Reid- April 16, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Santino's a great writer. If his MMA career doesn't work out, the dude should definitely pursue a career as an MMA journalist.
Kiel Reeds Influence Is On The Cutting Room Floor- April 16, 2009 at 2:42 pm
Funny to hear him brag about how they all loved him, but, because his methods of camaraderie include quoting copyrighted material, he only had all of a minute of screen time, not counting his laughable performance on national television.


fail.


Santino Defranco blog = win
Anonymous- April 16, 2009 at 1:56 pm
fuckin "mini pony" makes me laugh every time
Eurovision- April 16, 2009 at 1:51 pm
Rob Browning - "Put a shrimp on the barbie" is australian, dumbass
Tristan- April 16, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Dude, you've got it all mixed up. Kentucky isn't hung up on witchcraft; that's Florida.
Dr.- April 16, 2009 at 1:12 pm
135ers look out. Yeah, because you really showed a lot in that fight. Pretty much the basics of turtling up and having you face pounded. I enjoyed the knees and fists to the sides of his body.
spennyG- April 16, 2009 at 12:45 pm
rob is a dumbass for taking advice from his mediocre brother.junie was owned by cole "bean-pole" miller. suck it, kentucky. by the way, the americans look terrible.
Rob Browning- April 16, 2009 at 12:42 pm
hey, guys i know you must all hate me. but i realized i was a dick by the end of the show. Anyway im sorry for acting like a dick, its totally not my style.
henropotter- April 16, 2009 at 12:36 pm
is he writing these himself? pretty impressive wit...
Oatmeal- April 16, 2009 at 12:30 pm
why would you want to meet anyone associated with the brownings....wtf?
slapjaw ackrite- April 16, 2009 at 12:10 pm
diggin his blogs
CookieMonster- April 16, 2009 at 12:08 pm
i wanna meet the rest of the browning clan!!! and the chick that wants to marry that caveman
therealdeal- April 16, 2009 at 11:57 am
first
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