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Saturday Video Round-Up: War Machine Gets Robbed, Bob Sapp’s True Calling, + More

As much as we love to LOL at the mess War Machine has made of his life, after watching his split decision loss to David Mitchell in Leemore, California this week, we have to say that he got totally screwed on this decision.  Mitchell didn’t do much but work his ineffective rubber guard for three rounds, and while War Machine looked a little sloppy down the stretch he still won this fight.  I’d be hard-pressed to name one round that Mitchell clearly won, and yet one judge somehow scored it 30-27 in his favor.  Sounds like someone went to the Cecil Peoples School of Fight Scoring and graduated with freaking honors.

But just when you’re about to feel bad for the War Machine, you go back and read his comments to Ariel Helwani before this fight, when he said that Mitchell "sucks" and described this as "a joke fight" that was nothing more than a chance for him to get paid.  One can’t help but wonder why, if the guy’s no good, the fight even went to a decision in the first place.  But that’s War, for you.  A living, breathing lesson about the perils of hubris.  If only he’d been born mute, you get the sense that maybe this guy would have turned out okay.

Rounds two and three are after the jump, plus more weird stuff.


While perusing the internet this morning, I also came across something that forced me to alter my position on Bob Sapp.  His most recent performance at Dream.11 may have only reinforced the idea that he’s not cut out to be a serious fighter, but dammit, he is a born entertainer.  As long as he doesn’t have to do anything which requires a ton of skill, or which lasts longer than twenty seconds, he’s great.  And that’s why I can’t understand why there hasn’t been more of this in Sapp’s career:

And finally, just to take us the rest of the way into the realm of the bizarre, here’s Dana White announcing Tito Ortiz as the sixth recipient of the Tequila Cazadores Authentic Spirit Award.  According to DW, they give this thing to the UFC fighters who "exemplify the core values behind the Tequila Cazadores brand."  I always assumed that the core values of any tequila brand were things like a hazy ethical code and a willingness to puke and rally, but it turns out it’s stuff like "social responsibility."  Tito seems very honored, and he has no problem using this opportunity to talk about a) all the charity work he does, and b) how he’s going to beat Mark Coleman‘s ass.  Yeah, about that…


Cagepotato Comments

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UFC fan- October 11, 2009 at 10:51 pm
What he really meant to say was: " hi I am the user once known as Tuf Guy, but that fucking UFC Fan man kept on tearing me a new one every time I typed, so I changed my name to KillDozer while jerking off to bad 70's "shlock films".
The reason I failed English, and Grammar is because I dropped the weights on my nuts to many time, and all the blood was pushed to my brain to fast and it broke it.
I only talk about my cock and how much weight I lift because that is all I have left in life."

So excuse the poor bastard he is handicapped, and it just isn't nice to be the guy who picks on the retard OK Smitty?
Smitty- October 11, 2009 at 10:19 pm
@ KillDozer
Listen dude, just as a bit of advice. As long as you're typing shit like "While I bench press 400 lbs (without a comma) you [SEAT] on your computer" and "That's why I'm an alpha male and [YOUR] are a bitch", you make yourself look kind of silly when you try to put someone down. You take the sting out of it when you come across as a 13 year old flunking english. Just sayin.....
rampageisgod- October 11, 2009 at 5:20 pm
It's Lemoore.
KillDozer- October 11, 2009 at 9:23 am
While I bench press 400 lbs you seat on your computer and proofread my awesome comments. I bet when girls see your cock, you offer them to do their taxes. That's why I'm an alpha male and your are a bitch.

cagefightmon- October 11, 2009 at 5:54 am
With the exception of about 24 seconds, Mitchell dominated the fight. Not sure which fight the reporter was watching.
UncleSamsMisguidedChild- October 10, 2009 at 10:21 pm
Wow I cant believe you guys didnt live blog the WEC event. That fight with Donald Cerrone and Ben Henderson was awesome you guys gotta put videos up as soon as possible!!!
Mex- October 10, 2009 at 5:51 pm
I'm sure the judges consciously screwed War "Jon Koppenhaver" Machine on the decision just so they wouldn't have to hear him being interviewed in the cage after the fight. He looks like the lovechild of Marcelo Rodrigues and Kenny Florian and has the personality of Junie Browning during that hospital grand prix. What a waste of organs.
knee_strike- October 10, 2009 at 3:28 pm
@ Krazy Kracker:

"I can't IMAGINE the level of douchebaggery that takes place when these two used condoms hang out or go to clubs."

Awesome. Honestly, that's one of the best lines I've read on CP in days. I laughed so loudly that our 7-year-old ran up the stairs yelling, "Dad, what's so funny?!"

Keep up the fine work, KK.
knee_strike- October 10, 2009 at 3:17 pm
@ KillDozer:

I know I'm "jalous" -- of your spelling and punctuation abilities.

Anyway, the small shred of respect I had for Mr. White has now been annihilated. How could the President of the UFC allow himself to be a party to the Tequila Cazadores Authentic Spirit Award? Christ, how degrading.
Krazy Kracker- October 10, 2009 at 1:47 pm
I was watching War Machine fight on HDNet not long ago and Junie Browning was cornering him. I can't IMAGINE the level of douchebaggery that takes place when these two used condoms hang out or go to clubs. That's a clinical psychosis book in progress. They should have their own travesty of a reality tv show.
Jarekov The Great- October 10, 2009 at 12:47 pm
After reading that war machine interview im pretty sure mayhem miller is going to put him on bully beat down vs. arlovski, and then i can actually watch the show.
Eyes red as Fedor- October 10, 2009 at 12:20 pm
Tito wins the Tequila Cazadores Authentic Spirit Award for his relentless donning of undersized, gaudy t shirts and running his mouth with little regard for whether he can back it up or not. Strengthening his case is his choice to date women of questionable morals, cleanliness, and vaginal tightness. Tito has proven himself time and time again to be the most prominent example of what heavy tequila use can do to a man.
LargeMidget- October 10, 2009 at 12:13 pm
If I ever see Tito in real life I'm gonna walk up and pretend to be a really big fan and ask for an autograph but then be like "psych!" and call him a deusch and walk away.
KillDozer- October 10, 2009 at 11:28 am
btw, I got the first comment, it means I'm gonna get laid tonight because I'm a true winner.Stay jalous my friends.
KillDozer- October 10, 2009 at 11:22 am
war machine sucks, lets forget about him already