As much as we love to LOL at the mess War Machine has made of his life, after watching his split decision loss to David Mitchell in Leemore, California this week, we have to say that he got totally screwed on this decision. Mitchell didn’t do much but work his ineffective rubber guard for three rounds, and while War Machine looked a little sloppy down the stretch he still won this fight. I’d be hard-pressed to name one round that Mitchell clearly won, and yet one judge somehow scored it 30-27 in his favor. Sounds like someone went to the Cecil Peoples School of Fight Scoring and graduated with freaking honors.
But just when you’re about to feel bad for the War Machine, you go back and read his comments to Ariel Helwani before this fight, when he said that Mitchell "sucks" and described this as "a joke fight" that was nothing more than a chance for him to get paid. One can’t help but wonder why, if the guy’s no good, the fight even went to a decision in the first place. But that’s War, for you. A living, breathing lesson about the perils of hubris. If only he’d been born mute, you get the sense that maybe this guy would have turned out okay.
Rounds two and three are after the jump, plus more weird stuff.
While perusing the internet this morning, I also came across something that forced me to alter my position on Bob Sapp. His most recent performance at Dream.11 may have only reinforced the idea that he’s not cut out to be a serious fighter, but dammit, he is a born entertainer. As long as he doesn’t have to do anything which requires a ton of skill, or which lasts longer than twenty seconds, he’s great. And that’s why I can’t understand why there hasn’t been more of this in Sapp’s career:
And finally, just to take us the rest of the way into the realm of the bizarre, here’s Dana White announcing Tito Ortiz as the sixth recipient of the Tequila Cazadores Authentic Spirit Award. According to DW, they give this thing to the UFC fighters who "exemplify the core values behind the Tequila Cazadores brand." I always assumed that the core values of any tequila brand were things like a hazy ethical code and a willingness to puke and rally, but it turns out it’s stuff like "social responsibility." Tito seems very honored, and he has no problem using this opportunity to talk about a) all the charity work he does, and b) how he’s going to beat Mark Coleman‘s ass. Yeah, about that…
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What he really meant to say was: ” hi I am the user once known as Tuf Guy, but that fucking UFC Fan man kept on tearing me a new one every time I typed, so I changed my name to KillDozer while jerking off to bad 70′s “shlock films”.
The reason I failed English, and Grammar is because I dropped the weights on my nuts to many time, and all the blood was pushed to my brain to fast and it broke it.
I only talk about my cock and how much weight I lift because that is all I have left in life.”
So excuse the poor bastard he is handicapped, and it just isn’t nice to be the guy who picks on the retard OK Smitty?