Score Some Fedor-Sweater-Stripes in Our Six Deuce Caption Contest!
(Props: Six Deuce Clothing)
Though the Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory was never tracked down to an original retailer — giving more weight to the theory that Fedor Emelianenko simply found it in a forest one day, held in the jaws of a white wolf with green eyes — you can still get a small dose of horizontally-striped power thanks to Six Deuce Clothing, which is preparing to release the breathtaking t-shirt shown above. The Fedor-sweater-tee (along with four other new designs) will be available for purchase on 62Gear.com beginning this Friday; their one-day Black Friday sale will also feature some of Six Deuce's older t-shirts for just $10 and a 15% discount on all orders over $50.
But first things first — you want that GSoAV shirt, and we can get you one. All you have to do is come up with a creative and hilarious caption to the photo after the jump. Please submit all entries to the comments section of this post by next Wednesday at noon ET; finalists will be announced later that day for voting, and the top three caption-writers will each win a shirt. Got it? Now go out there and make Fyo'door proud!
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Comments
molson Says:
ew
Myles Kilometers Says:
These are actual photos from a non-co-promoted M-1 Global event.
Defender Says:
*deleted* Sorry!
Defender Says:
"Had his overweight opponent chose not to throw his left "Jamaican monkey uppercut"...Fedor would not have had the opening required to hit with the "Albino over-hand Monkey of Justice".
He never saw the sweater coming.
agentsmith Says:
I had a similar Buffalo sweater back in the late 90's, but the stripes weren't quite the same. But every time I see the Fedor sweater, it takes me back to those simpler days...
NinJay Says:
Fedor unknowingly gives an amazing and acurate presentation on how M1 treats him. Hand up the ass, controlling everything.
MyFightWiffaCheeto Says:
Fedor Says: "Хихиканья Капитана говорят, посчитали меня двумя Конусами Мороженого мягкой подачи, или я сорву ваше лицо."
Lunk Says:
Smell that? That is why I married her.
BraveDave Says:
Distracted by his opponent's gentle demeanor and soft, pudgy midsection, he never saw the Right Hand of Instant Death coming.
TheRealKadumel Says:
Dr. Fyo'Door Emelianenko : Try to imagine yourself in the cage with monkeys, Kiril. You get your first look at this "little monkey" as you enter a cage. He moves like a stuffed animal, lightly, and cute-looking. And you keep still because you think that maybe his visual acuity is based on movement like T-Rex - he'll lose you if you don't move. But no, not Furry Monkey. You stare at him, and he just stares right back. And that's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side,
[makes 'whoshing' sound]
Dr. Fyo'Door Emelianenko : from the other Furry Monkeys you didn't even know were there. Because Furry Monkeys's a pack hunter, you see, he uses coordinated attack patterns and he is out in force today. And he slashes at you with this... a karate chop, like a razor, on your nose. He doesn't bother to bite your jugular like a lion, say... no no. He slashes at you here... or here... or maybe across the belly, spilling your intestines. The point is... you are alive when they start to eat you. So you know... try to show a little respect.
(Note the Monkey coming at him from the side)
Tap_Tap Says:
I eat these for...BREAKFAST! mfer
SweetAfflictionShirt Says:
"No you are right, Brock is just in a class all his own......MONKEY!!!"
TheRealKadumel Says:
Doublepost.
TheRealKadumel Says:
Hey, I found a solution to MMA gloves that prevents eye-poking. SEE??
guinnes0 Says:
Peak-ah-how-you-say-boo!
dpnkdr1 Says:
Hey can you tell if Brett Rogers rubbed his pussy all over my monkey? Smell it please!!
Flood Says:
Joe Rogans prototype for a new style MMA glove enters the test phase.
Flood Says:
Unlike Rampage Jackson's performance in the remake of an 80's classic, Fedor does all of his own stunts as LionHeart in CareBares: 2010.
jaydoggmac Says:
Alas, it was not to be. They had tried everything, but even wrapping the hands of Fedor with furry, stuffed animals could not stop the imminent result. Fedor would simply never be able to touch a human without knocking them out.
Kittarl Says:
smell my hairy little monkey
LikeTheWhiskey Says:
Vadim Finkelstein wins by praying nose lock (with an assist by Fedor and the GSoAV)
Zenom Says:
Tell me that doesn't smell like tuna & vodka.
dabix Says:
Fedor illustrates his doubts about the health care reform :
"This is how it goes when you have to consult one of these governement payed proctologists : The guy cannot afford to buy regular gloves, and he's not skilled enough to distinguish your head from your ass".
danomite Says:
I'll just put them all in this one post:
1. I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!
2. Awww, he just smells MY monkey!
3. Sadly, Fedor was unaware of the local leash laws and his pet face humping miniature albino monkey, Stanley, had to be put to sleep shortly after this photo was taken.
Soda Popinski Says:
fedor: pop quiz: so, the monkey is brett rogers...and he attack you like this...what do you do?
zit face: SHHH! fedor, dont say that out loud.
fedor: what do you mean, simple question.
zit face: they call that racism in the united states of america.
fedor: i confused
zit face: ill explain later. is the collar of my shirt too tight?
fedor: times up, my turn to play with the rastafari doll.
Ouch That hurts Says:
"Welcome to Sprockets, I am your host, Dieter, now touch my monkey!"
Clinch-Smash Says:
You saw Kung Fu Panda, now check out Sambo Monkey!
FedorsSweater Says:
Damn I look good in that picture! Can I get an 8.5x11 glossy of this?
PorkandBeans Says:
Fedor: "Is this what you meant when you told me I should spank the monkey before a fight Oleg?"
PorkandBeans Says:
You think this is bad? You should see him choke a chicken!
LargeMidget Says:
Fedor shown having a little fun while he heals his broken hand the old-fashioned Russian way; fisting a dead monkey.
BigMoose Says:
And now, ladies and gentlemen, before I tell you any more, I'm going to show you the greatest thing your eyes have ever beheld. He was a king and a god in the world he knew, but now he comes to civilization merely a captive - a show to gratify your curiosity. Ladies and gentlemen, look at Fedor, the Eighth Wonder of the World.
Redtigershark2 Says:
Next week on TUF, Dana takes the boys to a Rain Forrest Cafe where they run into Fedor. Darrill "Titties" Schoonover and Fedor mix it up, while Wes Simms lurks in the background waiting to pick his pocket.
dedflesh Says:
here you see fedor doing his best to imitate his manager
se7ensenses Says:
Fedor proving once again that he can fuck with anyone at anytime and the world smiles along.
BigMoose Says:
Fedor serious has got to get a new translator.
BigMoose Says:
Here you see Fedor's response to the question "how did it feel when Brett Rogers punched you?"
SidTheKid Says:
"And 'den Josh went like dis...mm mmMM...silly cheatin american"
Vrax Says:
In Soviet Russia my monkey touches you!
ubidoob Says:
When Fedor makes a funny... Laugh.
goatus Says:
Monkey gives birth to pound for pound number one.
Sabado Gigante Says:
TMZ has learned that Fedor is actually a teacher at South Park Elementery. When he is not fighting, he goes by the name of Mr. Garrison and referres to his left hand as Mr. Hat. The only telling sign of this is the gay sweater he always wears. But don't call his sweater gay though, or else Mr. Hat will pee on your face (as shown above)...
Flotsam Says:
"Does this sweater make me look fat?"
"Yes"
"How 'bout now?"
ubidoob Says:
Even though his hand is open, the raw power of Fedor's hands restrained in the tight buttocks of a stuffed monkey, is still enough to make the lesser Russians around Fedor flinch.
Flood Says:
OH! It's monkey. Stupid work monitor. Oh well. I stand by my caption.
Flood Says:
Fedor: "How's taste mon chi chi?"
monkey-punch Says:
To everyone's amazement, Fedor's Shōryū-ken didn't come off as expected.
Viva Hate Says:
"Either I get an ice cream cone or you sniff the mini Tito Ortiz crotch!"
Roac Says:
"Test phase of Fedor's own new fragrence, "Fy'odeur" and yes, it comes in cute ape dolls."
MIRJITSU Says:
Fedor: Go ahead... taste the monkey pee pee.. taste the monkey pee pee.!
Gay Monkey Lover: Thank you sir may I have another?