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Score Some Fedor-Sweater-Stripes in Our Six Deuce Caption Contest!

(Props: Six Deuce Clothing)

Though the Glorious Sweater of Absolute Victory was never tracked down to an original retailer — giving more weight to the theory that Fedor Emelianenko simply found it in a forest one day, held in the jaws of a white wolf with green eyes — you can still get a small dose of horizontally-striped power thanks to Six Deuce Clothing, which is preparing to release the breathtaking t-shirt shown above. The Fedor-sweater-tee (along with four other new designs) will be available for purchase on beginning this Friday; their one-day Black Friday sale will also feature some of Six Deuce’s older t-shirts for just $10 and a 15% discount on all orders over $50.

But first things first — you want that GSoAV shirt, and we can get you one. All you have to do is come up with a creative and hilarious caption to the photo after the jump. Please submit all entries to the comments section of this post by next Wednesday at noon ET; finalists will be announced later that day for voting, and the top three caption-writers will each win a shirt. Got it? Now go out there and make Fyo’door proud!

Cagepotato Comments

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Poutine Guillotine- December 2, 2009 at 1:48 pm
The Russian military teaches its soldiers "everything is a weapon" ....Fedor flaunts his newly acquired off his Monkey Grenade
Flotsam- December 2, 2009 at 8:11 am
Come on fellas. We know this was supposed to be an exhibition match but you could have at least put on a nice gi. Plus, those gloves are maybe 2 ounces at best. It’s like you’re not even trying.
Clinch-Smash- December 2, 2009 at 3:54 am
Fan: Fedor were did you get the power to knock out Rogers?

Fedor: See...Monkey power is all you need to KO a monk....darn it I said it again didn't I.
Flotsam- December 1, 2009 at 4:11 pm
I know what you’re thinking, but you’re wrong. Shizaru would never wear that sweater.
NateGetsIrate- December 1, 2009 at 3:49 pm
And here's Fedor demonstrating his "casting punch" to one of the slower kids.
blakebork- December 1, 2009 at 2:42 pm
It's getting pathetic when Fedor can't even enjoy some good ole monkey sperm without M-1 Global stepping in and wanting over half.
southpawrighty- December 1, 2009 at 2:37 pm
In this shocking photo - just released - we learn the real cause of Brock Lestner's intestinal problems - Fedor's fist ... ulas.
southpawrighty- December 1, 2009 at 2:34 pm
After submitting Brock Lestner with a previously unknown sambo technique, doctors were unable to remove Fedors's fist from Brock's body forcing Fedor to attend the after fight parties with Brock Lestner impaled on his arm like a hand puppet ... In related new, Brock Lestner's prostate & interanl organs are completely normal.
Flotsam- December 1, 2009 at 12:33 pm
FAN: Hello Fedor. You look nice in that sweater. The pastels really bring out your vagina.

FE: Shut it man-tits. Another word from you and I’ll pluck out your eye and skull fuck the brain hole.

FAN: You don’t have the balls!
Sabado Gigante- December 1, 2009 at 12:18 pm
Special Ed. class, 1994
Dr Garbo- December 1, 2009 at 10:22 am

Fedor doing his best Jeff Dunham impersonation.
Clinch-Smash- December 1, 2009 at 3:58 am
After the monkey fell out of Oleg's sweater, Fedor's sweater monkey had to jump out attack the moron for letting him get that high. All Fedor could do is fist him and try to get the world to believe he was just a puppet. "Bad Monkey, you almost ruined our little secret."
Flotsam- November 30, 2009 at 4:23 pm
Monkey see, Monkey douche.
Cosmin- November 30, 2009 at 3:34 pm
After last time you sneezed on my sweater, I have taken precautions. Monkey precautions.
Scott- November 30, 2009 at 3:23 pm
Fedor, seen here demonstrating how M-1 controls him like a puppet monkey.
Flotsam- November 30, 2009 at 12:08 pm
Shhhh.... You had me at zdravstvuj.
El Famous Burrito- November 30, 2009 at 7:59 am
The white monkey was doing pretty good until it attempted that stupid-ass flying knee.
BeaverLord- November 29, 2009 at 8:39 pm
Everyone in the room got uncomfortable when Fedor boasted about his recent victory over Brett Rogers by saying, "And then I put fist into little monkey's butt like this."
bockbjj- November 29, 2009 at 12:30 am
Een America you spank the monkey, but een Soviet Russia MONKEY SPANKS YOU!
bockbjj- November 29, 2009 at 12:23 am
For clearer skin, spread a thin layer over the entire affected area. To ensure an even coverage, apply using a stuffed monkey.
bockbjj- November 29, 2009 at 12:16 am
By royal decree, anyone wishing to speak to 'The Last Emperor' must do so through Mr. Snuggums. Failure to do so will result in having one's nose bitten off by a rabid monkey.
bockbjj- November 29, 2009 at 12:06 am
You need to wear it like this if you want to protect from the swine flu.
Kimbos Bread- November 28, 2009 at 7:57 pm
Fedor doesn't spank his monkey.

His monkey spanks you.
One Two- November 28, 2009 at 6:34 pm
fedor later said hanging out in the Diazs basement was his favorite part of his trip to America. here bodyguard dmitry takes a shotgun with a little help from louie and Rasta monkey.
Cosmin- November 28, 2009 at 12:43 pm
Fedor: I hate every ape I see
From chimpan-a to chimpan-zee.
No, you'll never make a monkey out of me..

Oh my God, I was wrong.
It was Earth all along!

You've finally made a monkey
Guy: Yes, we've finally made a monkey
Fedor: Yes, you've finally made a monkey out of meee.