By now hopefully you’ve had time to process the news that the highly-anticipated Nick Diaz/Jay Hieron Strikeforce welterweight title fight has become the unanticipated, non-title fight between Hieron and Jesse Taylor, who’s known around these parts as “Mongo.”  We figured that as long as Diaz has smoked himself out of a title fight, the rest of us might as well turn our attention to “JT Money” and make the best of a bad situation.

If you’re wondering what Taylor has been up since being ousted from the UFC, the answer is, winning fights.  Dude has won seven straight, including victories over troubled scrapper Drew Fickett (TKO via strikes in the first round) and Korean judoka Dong Sik Yoon (TKO via injury in the first minute), while also picking up titles in the King of Champions and Total Combat organizations in between.  Before we get too excited, however, we should note that his winning streak has included victories over the likes of Rico Altamirano (2-1), Gert Kocani (1-1), and Ruben Barboza (0-1), so it’s not as if he’s been lighting up a cast of grizzled veterans.

But these are just statistics.  They don’t tell us anything about the man.  For that, we must go to the treasure trove of insight and unintentionally hilarious commentary known as YoJTMoney.com.

(You call that dancing? That ain’t dancing. From Combat Lifestyle‘s post-fight coverage.)

Some people never learn. Some people also pee their pants on purpose. Often, these are the same people. According to Steve Cofield, Jesse Taylor may have screwed up his second chance in the UFC. No, not just because he lost to CB Dollaway on Saturday night (though that probably didn’t help).

Taylor spoke with the media last Thursday and had some choice words for Quinton Jackson and his psychotic episode last week, “What goes around, comes around, I guess.” Taylor wasn’t happy with the fact that Jackson told UFC President Dana White that he didn’t want someone like Taylor representing the company.

Apparently, Taylor said these things before finding out that “Rampage” was being held for mental evaluation, and he later backtracked and said he “felt bad for the guy”. It may be too little, too late. Word has it that the UFC is pissed, and not just about his negative comments toward “Rampage”:

(Ah, memories.)

On Tuesday, the Wrestling Observer reported that TUF 7‘s Jesse “JT Money” “Mongo” Taylor had been released by the UFC — for the second time — suggesting that it was his insensitive comments about Quinton Jackson following Rampage’s arrest that ultimately sunk him.

MMA Junkie caught up with Taylor recently to get his take on the situation, and it seems that just as he had no regrets for repeatedly pissing his shorts on national television, he has no regrets for running his mouth about the UFC’s troubled former light-heavyweight champ:

“I thought the whole thing was blown out of proportion. I just said, ‘What goes around comes around,’ kind of meaning about the double standards. Not meaning anything bad. I guess they kind of took it the wrong way, but I didn’t mean anything bad by it….I don’t regret [making the comments] at all. I don’t know if [the UFC is] looking for an excuse to get me out of there or what. The comments were nothing.”

Unfortunately, to the UFC, the comments were something. But even this turn of events can’t shake Mongo’s glassy-eyed optimism.

“Hopefully I didn’t leave on a bad note. [Ed. note: *shakes head*] I wouldn’t mind fighting for them again. Right now, first things first, is just to find another fight — hopefully in a major organization — and get back out there….Keep on the lookout. There should be something big in the next couple weeks about where I’m going.”

You heard it here, folks — keep an eye on TMZ to see which jail Taylor will be going to after his inevitable drunken public rampage and subsequent arrest. ‘Cause you know what? What goes around comes around, brah.

(Look who’s back.)

When Dana White kicked Jesse Taylor off “The Ultimate Fighter” Finale for being a drunken knucklehead, he also told Taylor to call him when he matured and got his act together. Apparently that only takes a few months, because Fight Hype is reporting that Taylor will be added to the July 19 event on Spike TV, and guess who he may be up against:

Despite being kicked out of The Ultimate Fighter Finale, it appears that Jesse Taylor is set to make his return to the UFC. Sources close to the situation have informed us that, less than one month after he was supposed to face Amir Sadollah in the finale, Taylor will be entering the Octagon on the July 19th card headlined by Anderson Silva vs. James Irvin. Although an opponent has yet to be named, it’s rumored that CB Dolloway, who replaced Taylor in the finale and ultimately lost a second time to Sadollah via first round submission, could be the frontrunner to land the fight.

Well isn’t this a twisted little scenario. At least we know Dollaway is relatively unscathed after his fight with Sadollah, and probably also pretty eager to get back in the Octagon to erase the painful memory of his one-tap defeat. It just goes to show that opportunity knocks more often for everyone when the UFC has a competitor they need to crush.

Now maybe if the AFL would hurry up and get huge Kalib Starnes might even find his way back into the Octagon. Probably not, though.

(Ah, crap: Spike.com embed is currently down…click the image to see the video.)

For all the debate we’ve had on the Jesse Taylor situation, it might be good to hear Mongo tell his side of the story. In this three-part interview from Spike.com, Jesse doesn’t shed any light on Dana White’s accusation that he terrorized the female guests of Palace Station, but he does admit hitting a slot machine. (Wait a minute, was Mongo so drunk that he mistook a woman for a slot machine? Uh-oh.) Later, he reveals that he’s entered AA, he’s been trying (and failing) to contact Dana White, and he thinks CB is going to take Amir in the finale re-match.

(Hey ladies. The beach is that way.)

The UFC’s decision to include the newly-mature Jesse Taylor on their July 19 Fight Night has taken some heat lately. That’s because taking the moral high ground only works if you stick to it even when you desperately need to throw together a show designed to screw with your competitors. But Dana White is doing his best to make the decision to bring Taylor back into the UFC sound like a reasonable one. He’s also trying to battle the perception that the UFC encouraged the fighters to destroy the house and generally act the fool for the cameras.

That’s a lot to accomplish, but some well-placed expletives should do it. Check out what White had to say to Yahoo’s Kevin Iole:

“Whoever told you we encouraged them to tear up the house is (an expletive) liar,” White said. “Nobody ever told them what to do on the show. A lot of guys, they get off the show and they’re embarrassed by what they’ve done. And think about this: I’ve faced a lot of challenges since we’ve had the UFC, but I have a kid (Taylor) who pissed his pants on television and now I have to turn him into a star.”

Wait a minute, why does Dana White “have to” turn Jesse Taylor into a star? Did he make a promise to his mother? I have a hard time believing that the future of the UFC rests on Taylor, whose fights on the show were only slightly more interesting than watching NCAA wrestling on ESPN 2. Let’s be honest, Dana White is choosing to try and turn Taylor into a star (very briefly) in order to capitalize on the name recognition and controversy that he thinks might detract attention from Affliction.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Well this is interesting. The WEC convinced die-hard MMA fan Shaquille O’Neal to cut a promo for their Cerrone vs. Henderson show on September 2nd. "They’re lucky I’m a heavyweight," Shaq says. Still, would it have killed you to knock over a cardboard cutout of Cowboy? In a related story, O’Neal’s upcoming ABC series Shaq Vs. will be hosted by the UFC’s own Mike Goldberg.

(Props: MMA Frenzy)

Though this Monday’s DREAM 10 event will feature the semi-finals and finals of their welterweight GP, as well non-tournament matches between Shinya Aoki and Vitor Ribeiro, and Melvin Manhoef vs. Paulo Filho, the lineup’s still a little thin. As of yesterday, only six fights were officially announced for the card. So, the organizers are doing a little last-minute patching, adding Seichi Ikemoto vs. Tarec Saffiedine as a GP reserve bout, and Jesse "JT Money" Taylor vs. PRIDE/K-1 HERO’s vet Dong Sik Yoon. The news was first broke yesterday on Taylor’s official website, YoJTMoney.com (seriously), in which Mongo wrote: "JT has always wanted to fight for the prestegious Dream organization and for the warrior spirit of Japan. JT will be sure to make the most of this incredible journey and opportunity."

(Will the winner of this fight make it back to the UFC or will they go back to Australia where the promises of paydays are hollow.)

The fledgling Canadian Battlefield Fight League promotion announced today that a middleweight bout between former UFC veterans Denis Kang (33-12-2 2 NC) and Jesse Taylor (17-6) has been added to its April 7 BFL 7: Invasion event that will take place at the Frank Crane Arena in Nanaimo, BC.

Kang, who was dropped by the UFC after going 1-2 in the Octagon, has not been beaten since leaving the promotion. A member of American Top Team who also trains at Tristar with the likes of Georges St-Pierre when at home in Montreal, Kang defeated Korean Dae Won Kim in June under the W-1 banner in this past June and fought to a split draw with former WEC middleweight champion Paulo Filho in at Impact FC 2 in July.

Taylor has also done well since being released by the UFC. After losing to CB Dollaway at UFN 14 the Team Quest fighter has gone 11-3 and has logged wins over  UFC vets Drew Fickett, Jason Day, Chris Camozzi and Murilo Bustamante. He fought eight times in 2009 and has fought five times thus far in 2010.

The winner of the bout should get a second look by the UFC, but Taylor, who was pulled from the TUF 7 final for kicking a window out of a limo in Vegas may not get the call up to fight for the Zuffa-owned promotion due to disparaging remarks he made about the double standard the promotion has when dealing with different fighters. At the time, UFC president Dana White had flown to Southern California to bail former light heavyweight champion Quinton "Rampage" Jackson out of jail following his arrest for dangerous driving and evading police.

(‘I just got one question: who here has some rolling papers?’)

Nick Diaz’s love of marijuana is unabashed and well documented, but he may have finally reached the point where even he will be forced to admit that it’s a problem that is negatively affecting his life.  According to multiple reports this afternoon, Diaz failed to contact the California State Athletic Commission about rescheduling the pre-licensing drug test that he missed on Friday, which means that he will not be fighting Jay Hieron for the Strikeforce welterweight title at “Carano vs. Cyborg” this Saturday night.  

Instead, TUF 7’s Jesse “JT Money” Taylor will step in to face Hieron in a non-title affair, meaning the most troubled Strikeforce card ever just took another crippling blow.  Presumably Diaz is listening to a voicemail message from Strikeforce CEO Scott Coker right now explaining that he’s not mad at him, just very, very disappointed.  And somehow, much to his surprise, that will make Nick feel so much worse.

Jesse Taylor is responsible for several firsts in Ultimate Fighter history. He’s the first fighter to voluntarily pee his pants for entertainment on the show, as well as the first to fight his way into the finals only to be kicked off for a drunken rampage after the show finished filming.

Now Taylor’s poised to get his shot in the UFC against CB Dollaway on July 19th. In this exclusive interview he talks to CagePotato about finally getting his shot at the big time and trying to learn from his mistakes to make the most of his second chance.

CagePotato.com: When did you find out that you were going to get a shot in the UFC on this July 19 card? Where you already in shape and ready for a fight, or did it come as a surprise to you?

Jesse Taylor: I was just staying active, and you have to remember the show ended back in March, so after training so long and fighting so much it was a big layoff. Ever since it ended I was trying to get back in, but I found out just recently, just about three and a half weeks ago that I was back in. I was just so pumped up, so happy that I felt like sure, let’s go, I’ll fight anybody.

Do you think it was the UFC’s need to put this card together on short notice that made them call you so soon?

I think it was a combination of things. I think that show definitely helped. But I had this spotlight on me anyway because I was the guy who won every one of his fights and then I got this horrible punishment. I definitely wanted the fight, and I think people were interested in, you know, what could have happened with Jesse Taylor, so next thing I know I’m back in the UFC.

Do you think they would have called you so soon if it wasn’t for this event?

I think they would have definitely called me again, I just think it would have been a little bit longer.

Looking back on it now, what do you make of the punishment Dana White handed down to you? Was it too harsh, in your opinion?

(Image courtesy of MMA Fight Girls.)

— Rachelle Leah’s nude Playboy pictorial hits newsstands October 17th…and will probably hit this website shortly after.

— It looks like Cain Velasquez (4-0) has found his next opponent. The heavyweight up-and-comer will reportedly face London Shootfighters product Mustapha Al-Turk (6-3) at “UFC Fights for the Troops” (December 10th; Fort Bragg, Fayetteville, North Carolina). Al-Turk, who recently signed a four-fight contract with the UFC, is the current Cage Rage British Heavyweight Champion; like Velasquez, all of his wins have come via first-round stoppage.

— TUF 7 embarrassment Jesse “Mongo” Taylor has booked his next fight against another UFC vet who famously can’t keep his shit together. He’ll be facing Drew Fickett at Total Combat 32 on October 2nd, at the Syucan Casino near San Diego. Total Combat claims that the card will be televised on MTV3 (?).

— The UFC is planning to hold its first show in the Philippines next summer. Lorenzo Fertitta was blown away by the rabid public response to an appearance by Chuck Liddell at the Mall of Asia in Pasay City on Sunday, saying “Chuck is a rock star over here…We’re probably more mainstream in the Philippines than we are in the US. We’re going to be moving the show around the world, and we’re creating the UFC global footprint.”

— BetUS.com has established the odds for UFC 90′s Anderson Silva/Patrick Cote scrap as -800/+425, with the Spider as the runaway favorite, obviously. Once Cote’s line gets up to about +16,000, we’ll consider throwing a sawbuck on him.

(Jess Liaudin and his sweet trophy.)

Frenchie Jess “The Joker” Liaudin has said he’ll next battle Englishman Paul Taylor at UFC 85 in a welterweight match. From Liaudin’s myspace blog:

“On the 7th of June i will be doing my 4th fight in the UFC and will be fighting against Paul Taylor at UFC 85. I fought Paul about 6 years ago and lost a controversial decision (the fight is available on youtube) so it s a rematch. Paul is a well rounded fighter with good cardio, strength and a big heart. This fight is very important for me as my actual record in the UFC is 2-1 so another loss may mean that i can get booted out.”

Yes, Taylor has actually beaten the Joker once already at Cage Rage 2, but it was five years ago instead of six. This will also be Taylor’s fourth UFC fight, although he’s 1-2 in those bouts, last going down to Paul Kelly at UFC 80 via decision. Liaudin also lost at the January event – getting KO’d by Marcus “The Irish Hand Grenade” Davis, who had just beaten Paul Taylor at UFC 75. Just try and keep up ’cause we’re not going to explain all this again.

Liaudin’s overall record stands at 12-9 and Taylor’s is 8-3-1. UFC 85 is scheduled for June 7th in London. Aside from the crappy headlining fight between Chuck Liddell and Rashad Evans, here’s a look at the “unofficial” officially rumored card as it currently stands:

– Brandon Vera vs. Fabricio Werdum
– Mike Swick vs. Marcus Davis
– Martin Kampmann vs. Jorge Rivera
– Nate Marquardt vs. Thales Leites
– Roan Carneiro vs. Ryo Chonan
– Thiago Tavares vs. Matt Wiman
– Jess Liaudin vs. Paul Taylor

(Props to MMAMania)

I saw this one for the first time on UFC Unleashed last night and needed to share. In his fifth UFC fight (at “Champion vs. Champion,” 9/8/07), Marcus Davis was rocked early by a head kick and pounded on the ground to the point where 9 out of 10 refs would have jumped in to stop the fight. Big ups to ref Yves Lavigne, who was able to sense that Marcus wasn’t quite out of it and gave the Irish Hand Grenade a chance to continue. Davis worked his way onto his feet and then on top of Taylor, where he pummeled Taylor from the mount, then transitioned into a slick armbar that earned him the “Submission of the Night” bonus; Davis and Taylor also picked up the “Fight of the Night” bonuses for the effort.

Mike Goldberg line of the fight: “Marcus Davis has…literally fallen in love with elbows.”

CagePotato.com has confirmed with Shark Fights officials that Proving Ground winner Nick Newell (5-0) will make his promotional debut at Shark Fights 19 against fellow lightweight Jesse Zeugin, a 29-year-old fighter from Missouri who holds a 5-2 record with all wins by submission within the first two rounds. Zeugin last competed at Titan Fighting Championship 18 in May, where he lost to Joe “The Nose” Wilk via anaconda choke. He trains out of the Springfield Fight Club alongside TUF 12 finalist Michael Johnson and Strikeforce/Bellator vet Zak Cummings.

Shark Fights 19 takes place September 10th at the Independence Events Center in Independence, Missouri. We’ll release the full fight lineup in the next few days. If you want to come hang out with us at the show, get your tickets here, and follow Shark Fights on Facebook and Twitter.

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

We’ve touched on the generation gap issue in MMA before, so we weren’t surprised to see Larry King, who is positively ancient, look a little lost when he talks about this "ultimate boxing" stuff.  Fortunately, Renaissance man Jesse Ventura is there to correct him — "’Ultimate fighting,’ you mean," — and even offers what appears to be an informed opinion on UFC 100, saying he loved it right up until Brock Lesnar made him feel "ashamed."  You and me both, Jesse.

(At least there will always be this to tide us over.) 

Bad news for any of you Brits out there planning on attending UFC 138 (because, let’s be honest, you will be the only ones doing so.) Word has it that Paul Taylor has suffered minor whiplash as a result of a recent rear-end collision he was involved in and will not be competing in his main card lightweight clash with Anthony Njokuani.

As you may or may not remember, this is not the first time Taylor has been forced to pull out of a fight at the last minute. Back at UFC 112, he was deemed medically unfit to compete just days before his bout with John Gunderson after suffering a severe migraine as a result of his weight cut. This marks the third total fight in Taylor’s UFC career that he has withdrawn from as a result of injury. One more, and he will be entering James Irvin territory, which is second only to Cabrini-Green in terms of places no one ever wants to find themself.

We know Hector, Anderson’s voice is nothing short of heavenly.

For all the crap the UFC has gotten for their purchase of Strikeforce back in March, this week’s events have surely helped prove that a small, upstart promotion, though unable to compete with the UFC, can still put on a successful show. On Saturday, the second installment of the Australian Fighting Championships went down. Despite the fact that that the card was full of relatively unknown fighters, it managed to be incredibly entertaining none the less.

The main event featured a couple of familiar faces in Bellator middleweight champion Hector Lombard and TUF 7 finalist Jesse Taylor. Though the fight did not end via Lombard’s typically brutal KO, it saw the Cuban-born Aussie fend off most of “JT Money’s” takedowns in the first round and answer with a brutal onslaught of elbows. The end came shortly into the second round. On a reversal of a Taylor single leg, Lombard secured a heel hook, forcing the TUF alum to tap and halting his five fight win streak. When asked the inevitable question regarding Anderson Silva in his post fight interview, Lombard was rather frank about how the fight would go down. “I wouldn’t be frightened of him,” he stated, “I would go in there to take the head off.” Reports have yet to confirm whether or not Lombard has been spending time at the Frank Mir School of Trash Talk.

But Lombard’s finish was not even the most impressive heel hook of the night, which went to Polish up and comer Marcin Held. Held managed to pull off a spinning inside heel hook on Hawaiian Kaleo Kwan within the opening minute of the fight. Also on the card, former UFC and Pride heavyweight Soa Palelei scored a quick knockout of Son Hai Suk just 28 seconds into the bout. Palelei is perhaps best known for his epic brawl with Eddie Sanches back at UFC 79, which he has gone 4-1 since.

Full results–and a video from the fight–are after the jump.

I think this is British for “Your spotted dick jokes are original and clever, sir”.

When it was first announced that UFC 138 was going to be headlined by Leben vs. Munoz, we had our doubts about the card. Unless your last name is “Silva”, “Okami”, “Stann” or “Sonnen”, there isn’t really a reason to be excited about the winner of that fight getting a title shot. Fortunately, even without a compelling main event, there should still be some pretty interesting fights on this card. It also helps that it will air on Spike TV, meaning that you won’t have to pay extra to watch it. And, for what it’s worth, Ariel Helwani is reporting that Leben vs. Munoz will be the first five round, non-title main event.

The UFC recently announced the addition of a welterweight fight between John Hathaway and Pascal Krauss to the card. A Brighton, England native, Hathaway is 5-1 in the UFC. His most recent outing at UFC Fight Night: Nogueira vs. Davis saw him pick up a split decision victory over Kris McCray. Undefeated in ten professional fights, Pascal Krauss is looking to build on the momentum he gained in his UFC debut, a unanimous decision victory over Mark Scanlon at UFC 122 which earned him Fight of the Night honors. That fight also marked the first time that Krauss has ever seen the third round in his professional career.

 (Roger Huerta was right. This tattoo does make you punch harder.)

(Silva and Machida: Someone’s “0″ has gotta go.)

The UFC has just announced that light-heavyweight technician Lyoto Machida (13-0) will face another undefeated Brazilian — Thiago Silva (13-0) — in a bout at UFC 89 (October 18th; Birmingham, England). Well known as a patient counter-striker, Machida will have his hands full with one of the most aggressive fighters in the league. Silva, who’s coming off a first-round TKO victory over Antonio Mendes at UFC 84 in May, owns nine wins by first-round stoppage and has only been to a decision once in his life — a marked contrast to Machida, who just picked up the eighth decision win of his career with his handling of Tito Ortiz, also at UFC 84.

Last month, we speculated that “the UFC will eventually have to throw one of the Silvas at Machida, because it seems that only a hyper-aggro fighter who’d be willing to literally chase Machida around the cage (and absorb some damage in the process) would stand a chance of beating him.” The Machida/Silva matchup represents the pairing of two men whose styles are complete opposites, and it’ll be interesting to see who can better execute their gameplan. No matter what the outcome, the winner will unquestionably prove that he’s ready for a title shot. Any early predictions?

In other UFC 89-related news, the UFC has re-signed Chris Lytle (25-16-5, 4-8 UFC) to a four-fight contract extension, with his first match being in Birmingham against Brit Paul Taylor (9-3-1, 2-2 UFC). I’d think that a four-fight extension is a little generous for someone who already has twice as many losses in the Octagon than wins. But hey, the fans want blood, and Lytle gives it to ‘em in pints…

(Photo courtesy of KeepItIntheRing.org.)

MMA Rated is reporting that Rich Franklin will move to light-heavyweight to take on Matt Hamill at UFC 88 (September 6th, Atlanta). Franklin spent much of his early career as a 205-pounder, before moving to middleweight in June 2005 when he took the UFC’s 185-pound strap from Evan Tanner. As for the matchup, there’s no danger of Franklin being torn apart by Hamill, Anderson Silva-style, but he’d better start drilling his takedown defense if he wants to avoid being laid on for 15 minutes by the hulking wrestler. And speaking of avoidance, how’s this for self-ownage — Franklin moving up in weight because he’s tired of bashing his face against Anderson Silva’s knees, while Silva is testing the waters at 205 because he cleared out the middleweight division. No matter where Ace goes, Spider is right there waiting, making sure he never gets another belt in his life. Poor guy.

In other news, we previously passed along a rumor that Jesse Taylor and CB Dollaway would fight at UFC Fight Night 14 (July 19th, Las Vegas), and multiple sources are now confirming the matchup. It feels a little premature for both fighters. Dollaway, who would be fighting just four weeks after his loss to Amir Sadollah at the TUF 7 finale, could use more time to cultivate his submission defense, and who knows if Jesse Taylor’s brief stint in AA and a couple months of groveling for Dana White has actually turned him into a stable human being. But it’s the matchup that fans of the show want to see, and it’s happening, whether they’re ready or not.

^{Disclaimer: Dan was unable to consume any Pure H20 tm while in prison, and as such, put on a bit of weight since he did not have the benefit of stevia to melt away fat. Do not be alarmed by his lack of abs in this video)} 
(Video courtesy YouTube/Cold fission, playa)

Dan Quinn posted a new video on his YouTube channel last night and in typical DQ style it doesn’t make a whole hell of a lot of sense, but like any train wreck, I’m compelled to watch it.

He’s worse than two girls one cup.

In this clip, he talks about his 45-day stint in "a level 4 prison," the fact that he would beat Randy Couture in a pure striking MMA match-up with no kicks or takedowns and weighs in on the Sandra Bullock/Jesse James divorce.

The best quote from the video: "When I get fucking spun spun on stevia and weed — because I use Pure H20 ^tm and stevia to rid my body of all toxins…um…you know what? I kind of become a version of Iron Man."

For the record, when Dan shouts out his prison homies, Spencer, Patrick and "that stud from Canada," he was not referring to me.

I’m going to have to try his money saving suggestion to use stevia in place of cocaine at my "Scarface coke parties." Remind me, though, when I start doing my whacked out shirtless video blogs for CP to tidy up my room a bit.

It’s pretty much known by anyone who possesses a working set of ears that Taylor Swift has the vocal range of a walrus being strangled to death by a vibrating belt machine (as opposed to say, Warbringer, who are basically the Three Tenors of our generation). Still, that fact hasn’t stopped her from snatching up damn near every Billboard, CMT, MTV, BET, or Grammy award out there, because musical talent is something that is apparently determined by how many lovestruck 12 year-old girls buy your relationship-prostituting albums nowadays.

In any case, Ms. Swift and her voice have become quite the subject of parody on the Twitters and Youtubes lately, with her hit song “I Knew You Were Trouble” taking the brunt of it. While her duet with a screaming goat might be the most notorious of these parodies, Youtube user FreeFights4You has offered an alternative, MMA-themed take on the song that will surely ascend to the top of the Taylor Swift-based parodies for at least a week.

Featuring none other than UFC 160′s Antonio “Bigfoot” Silva on guest vocals, this parody might just be the greatest thing you will ever witness today. I mean, it’s no “baby monkey riding on a pig,” but what will ever top that slice of fried gold, honestly?

Now if only the UFC would quit being so stubborn and start accepting fan-made promos like “Nick Diaz: Crazy, Shirtless Mofo” and “Knowing About Horse Meat is Half the Battle,” we guaran-damn-tee that they would see their pay-per-view sales increased tenfold. TENFOLD WE TELLS YOU.

-J. Jones

(At least we’ll always have the memories…) 

British lightweight Paul Taylor is undoubtedly one of the most entertaining fighters in the UFC…when he actually manages to make it into the cage. His ability to do so has become less and less frequent over the past few years, and it’s truly a shame for fans of a good old fashioned throwdown. Taylor was scheduled to return to action for the first time in over a year against Anthony Njokuani at UFC on FUEL 4, which goes down from the HP Pavillion in San Jose on July 11th, but word just broke that he has been forced to withdraw from the bout yet again, and will be replaced by Rafael Dos Anjos.

Although Taylor is an unspectacular 4-5 thus far in his UFC career, his victories include a most recent trouncing of Gabe Ruediger at 126, as well as entertaining victories over Peter Sobatta, Jess Liaudin, and Edilberto de Oliveira. Oddly enough, Taylor has earned his reputation and “Relentless” moniker by managing to be even more captivating in defeat, with his high-profile losses to Marcus Davis, Paul Kelly, and Chris Lytle all earning him Fight of the Night bonuses at UFC 75, 80, and 89, respectively.

But ever since dropping to lightweight, Taylor has spent so much time nursing various injuries that even James Irvin is beginning to look like the picture of health in comparison. OK, that might be an exaggeration, but if you were to peruse over Taylor’s Wikipedia page, you would find that the phrase “was expected to face” appears more times than the phrase “won by.” Sad but true, folks.

Check out the full history of Taylor’s troubles after the jump. 

(Props: MMA Mania)

When we first saw this trailer to Universal Soldier: Regeneration, we were pleased to learn that Andrei Arlovski not only has a role in the flick, but is actually one of the three leads along with JCVD and Dolph Lundgren. Despite his prominence, the Pitbull was apparently given no lines, which is probably for the best considering his accent is thicker than Ice-T’s wife’s ass. [Ed. note: Yes, I graduated from the Michael Schiavello School of Genius Pop-Culture References.] Can Andrei parlay his skills as Tough Silent Guy into a long-term film career, or will he have to go back to his crappy day job?

After the jump: Some douchebag ruins a poor girl’s big moment.

(Forget it Dana. He’s coming with me to Hollywood.)

Jason MacDonald’s loss will be fellow Canadian Jesse Bongfeldt’s gain as the Kenora, Ontario native will now step in for "The Athlete" who was forced to pull out of his UFC 124 bout with Rafael Natal due to a re-injury to the leg he broke at UFC 113 in May.

The opponent change was revealed by Natal’s management group Dominance MMA who announced the news via Twitter and Facebook today.

12-1 in his last 13 outings, Bongfeldt (21-6), who is the former Rumble in the Cage and TKO champion has not lost since getting TKO’d by Jonathan Goulet in 2007. His biggest win saw him defend his TKO welterweight strap by tapping out submission specialist TJ Grant with an armbar in 2008 at TKO 32.

Bongfeldt took time off from fighting following the Grant bout in 2008 after the birth of his son and relocated back to Ontario from Calgary where he spent several years training alongside UFC veteran Jason Day at Canadian Martial Arts Centre under trainer Lee Mein.

(Looks like Jesse Taylor picked the wrong week to quit drinking. Photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

The UFC’s always fluctuating end-of-night bonuses totaled $25,000 apiece for Saturday’s “Silva vs. Irvin” event. The four lucky men who left the Palms one-fortieth of a million dollars richer are…

Knockout of the Night: Rory Markham for his skull-crushing head-kick KO of Brodie Farber.
Submission of the Night: CB Dollaway for his “Peruvian Necktie” choke of fellow TUF 7 castmember Jesse Taylor.
Fight of the Night: Frankie Edgar and Hermes Franca for their three-round tussle that Edgar took unanimously thanks to his takedowns and GnP.

The must-see Markham/Farber knockout is below, and the Dollaway/Taylor scrap is after the jump — and we threw in Cain Velasquez’s beatdown of Jake O’Brien for good measure. (If you find a working link for Edgar/Franca, please post it in the comments section.) Serious props to MMA TKO.

Videos removed by request…

(Hey Kunta.)

When I heard Junie Allen Browning was doing a TUF blog for UFC.com, I had to check it out to see how apologetic/ashamed he was going to be after watching last night’s episode, in which he drank eight bottles of vodka, nearly broke his neck falling off a balcony, destroyed some house decor, then cried himself to sleep next to the pool. But judging from this excerpt, I don’t think he’s quite wrapped his head around how unacceptable his belligerent retardedness actually was:

If I had seen the previous season, I don’t think I would have acted that crazy, but the show was being recorded as season seven was being played so I didn’t know anything about Jesse Taylor and all that stuff. And to be honest, I thought Jesse Taylor made the show a little more interesting.

To be honest, I think they underplayed it, I was hoping they’d show a little more. They made me look a little more sane than I really am. Seriously though, it was somewhat embarrassing because I never really see myself acting like that big of an idiot, and now I can see where everyone’s coming from when they watch me and go ‘this guy’s a lunatic.’ Now I see it.

Sure, Jesse Taylor made last season interesting, but everybody watching pitied him. Dude was pathetic. And we’ll pity Junie Browning after he fucks up bad enough to be thrown out of the house. (Next episode, hopefully?) Also, if Junie’s truly embarrassed by what he saw in episode 3, he probably wouldn’t want them to “show a little more.” To borrow a phrase from addiction-recovery, I don’t think Junie’s reached his bottom yet. Who knows, maybe he straightens out after Dana gives him the tongue-lashing next week, and he can afford to have a dismissive attitude about his former drinking problem. I was just hoping for more humility. The guy’s a constant distraction, and his antics put other fighters in danger. Doesn’t he know what a dumb asshole he is?

(‘Oh bicep, you’re the only one I can truly depend on.’)

Watching Dana White drop the hammer on Jesse Taylor during last night’s super-shocking episode of “The Ultimate Fighter”, I have to say I was filled with mixed emotions.

On one hand, everything White said to him seemed justified. He can’t have someone representing the UFC who is incapable of controlling himself after downing a few drinks. Not only does it create a bad image, but as White pointed out, this is what Jesse is like after merely fighting his way into the finals. If he’s out of control without really even winning anything yet, what’s he going to be like in six months?

Aside from Dana’s assertion that Las Vegas is “his town”, his admonition of Jesse and the punishment he handed down seemed completely appropriate.

But then I had a flashback to earlier episodes. I recalled images of Jesse drinking and breaking things, peeing his pants, and generally acting up. That’s when I had to wonder, what’s the fundamental difference between destroying a house that doesn’t belong to you and kicking out a limousine window? Hadn’t they been content to show Jesse’s antics — which you could also argue reflect poorly on the UFC and its fighters — for weeks?