Yesterday we showed you a Randy Couture spoof video from last weekend’s MMA Awards that depicted the former UFC champ as having an admirable/slightly insensitive ability to joke about his many marital failures.  That seemed all in good fun, and then we saw this one, starring Junie Browning as the world’s worst life coach.  It’s one of those things that’s funny because it’s true — Junie really has managed to screw his life up with impressive speed and efficiency, despite several second chances.  It’s also one of those things that’s uncomfortable because it’s true, and true as of really recently.

It was less than three months ago that Browning was fired from the UFC after being charged with assaulting and threatening to rape the staff of a hospital where he was brought after what appeared to be a suicide attempt.  Now he’s doing funny voices, pretending to be on drugs (that was pretending, right? guys?), and joking about his bi-polar disorder in a video featuring a cameo by would-be local weatherman Dave Farra?  And here we thought things had gotten just about as bad as they could get for "The Lunatic." 

There’s a point at which self-deprecation becomes self-mockery.  It’s hard to say exactly where the line is, but when you are making light of criminal cases that are still pending against you while wearing an ironic D.A.R.E. t-shirt, it’s very possible that you’ve crossed it.

Swallowing an entire bottle of Klonopin in a suicide attempt then assaulting three nurses at a hospital and threatening to rape their families — well, that would be a bad day for anybody. But after the dust settled on Junie Browning’s Las Vegas misadventure last month, he was embarassed and apologetic, telling Fighters Only, "I have a lot of problems and I’m working on them…I’m truly sorry for what happened, and if I could take it back I definitely would." So we can put this behind us and move on, right Lunatic?

Not quite. Browning failed to appear in court to answer his battery charges, and now there’s a warrant out for his arrest. ("FOX5 attempted to contact him for an interview, but was met with a profanity-laced recorded message and the calls were not returned.") Terrible timing, considering he has a totally ill-advised fight booked in Indiana on November 28th. Then again, it’s against a 1-0 rookie, so maybe they can get LionHeart Blevins to fill in. Best of luck sorting out your legal issues, Junie. Please, no armed standoffs!

"We’re doing that already?" Yes, unfortunately, we are. Junie Browning‘s brother Rob will be making the most of his appearance on TUF 9 by acting like a drunken lunatic and throwing shit at people. Don’t vote him off, Jason — fuckin’ BEAT HIM OFF.

People have been kicked off The Ultimate Fighter for less than what we saw Junie Browning do this season, but through it all he managed to stay on the show and endure to the semifinals.  After his loss to Efrain Escudero last night, Browning talks with Cage Potato about the person he was and the fighter he’s become, and he promises that we’ll all know the difference when we see him on next Saturday night’s Spike TV finale.

CagePotato.com: So after everything that happened, how surprised were you that Dana White didn’t kick you off the show?

Real surprised, actually.  Especially after what Dana said the first time and what happened.  But I’m sure everyone wanted to see me get my ass kicked, so that was a good reason to keep me on.

Were you knowingly sabotaging yourself and trying to get kicked off?

It was more the fact that I didn’t really care.  I wasn’t ready to fight.  I knew I was out of shape.  I wasn’t prepared to fight so I just didn’t really care about the consequences.  I would have rather just gone home rather than embarrass myself on TV.  That’s not necessarily the way I look at it now, but that’s the way I was thinking then.  It’s not a good way to look at it, but that’s how it felt.

You say you weren’t ready to fight, but in the beginning you seemed to be doing pretty well.  Why do you think you weren’t ready?

The beginning of the fight, that wasn’t pretty well for me.  That was horrible.  I knew it at the time, while I was fighting, that it was horrible.  I felt like every day I was on the show I was getting worse.  I just wasn’t fighting the same.  I wasn’t fighting explosive like I normally do.

If it was just that you were out of shape, why didn’t you spend more time beforehand working on your cardio so you would be ready?

Pictured: Cagepotato.com interns reenacting the weigh-in for Browning vs. Clark.

I’ll be completely honest: I forgot about Junie Browning over the past few years. Well, maybe not so much “forgot about” as “assumed that he, like that other crazy MMA fighter with lame tattoos, has been crushing cans and causing shenanigans”. Given his three fight losing streak coming into his fight with Jacob Clark at tonight’s MMA Pit Fight: Genesis, he hasn’t been crushing cans. And unless we’re being lenient with our usage of “shenanigans”, his weigh-in for the fight didn’t provide them, either.

Yes, Junie Browning missed weight. Badly. As MMAFighting.com reports, Junie Browning weighed in at 162.25 pounds for what was supposed to be a lightweight fight, or seven and a quarter pounds over the limit. Missing weight, especially by that much, isn’t so much shenanigans as it is being irresponsible. But don’t be quick to feel bad for his opponent, Jacob Clark. Despite the New Mexico Athletic Commission’s generous two pound weight allowance, Clark also missed weight, weighing in at 158 pounds. MMA Fight Pit plans on fining both fighters an undisclosed sum of money per pound over the 155 pound weight limit.

All other fighters made weight for what is shaping up to be a pretty good card for a regional event. If you’re itching to watch some MMA before tomorrow’s UFC Live on Versus 5, it may be worth some change. Whether it’s more worthy of your money than the Taco Bell Party Pack and fifth of Evan Williams you’re currently planning on consuming in a dark room by yourself tonight is up to you.

Weigh-in results, courtesy of MMAFighting.com, after the jump

(Your problem now, Indiana.)

Well, this is probably a bad sign.  Just a week after being fired from the UFC for an assault arrest following what may or may not have been a suicide attempt, Junie Allen Browning is wasting no time getting back into action. The mercurial lightweight reportedly has a bout set for November 28 at MMA Big Show: Onslaught at the Belterra Casino in Florence, Indiana.  Browning will be taking on 1-0 Ohio-based fighter Scott Cornwell, and he’ll be doing it just across the state line from his hometown of Lexington, Kentucky.

According to MMA Big Show owner/promoter Jason Appleton, who wrote the website article in which he quoted himself, “’I’ve seen Junie fight in Louisville, KY back in the day as an amateur and he always put on a hell of a show. Him and his brother were always fun to watch,’ explains Jason Appleton.”

Yep, we’re just going to act like nothing unusual at all is going on here.  That always works out for the best.

Apparently Cole Miller’s mother never told him that if you don’t have something nice to say about someone, you shouldn’t say anything at all.  Talking to Steve Cofield (it doesn’t get remotely interesting until a little after the six-minute mark), Miller responds to a question about what he thinks of Junie Browning on a technical level by saying: “Nothing.  I don’t think he’s technical at all.”

Miller then goes on to point out that Browning has never tapped out or knocked out anyone who matters, before then comparing him to past opponents like Andy Wang and concluding that Browning is the worst fighter he’s faced in the UFC, next to Allen Berube (ouch!).  

So is Miller right about Browning?  Maybe.  We don’t really know for sure, since all we’ve really seen of him comes from his “Ultimate Fighter” antics and his submission victory over Dave Kaplan, who’s not exactly top-level competition.  But even if he is right, I’m not sure it’s such a great idea to go around talking about how almost-comically bad your next opponent is.  If you manage to get people to believe that he’s one of the worst fighters ever to step into the Octagon, then it’s not enough to just beat him.  You have to beat him quickly and effortlessly, otherwise you look like a punk.

(Your daughter’s prom date is here…)

When I called Junie Browning to see how he was feeling a week before his first UFC fight since “The Ultimate Fighter” finale, he was out shopping for video games.  It might not seem like it at first, but this is apparently a sign of how much his life has changed since moving to Las Vegas to train at Xtreme Couture and getting serious about his fighting career.  Now he trains full-time.  Despite living in Sin City, he doesn’t go out much.  Instead he stays home and plays Killzone or Resident Evil 5 in between training sessions.  It occupies his time.  And it keeps him out of trouble.

“All I do is train now,” he said.  “I’m in awesome shape right now.  Better than I’ve ever been, training harder than I ever have.  I’ve done more for this than I have for any other fight.”

At next week’s Ultimate Fight Night in Nashville Browning takes on former TUF contestant Cole Miller, who has vowed to “expose” and “smash” him.  You’d think that kind of language would get a reaction out of the volatile kid from Kentucky we saw on TUF, but oddly, you’d be wrong.

(Another otherwise-lovely photo ruined by red-eye. Props to JunieBrowning.com.)

TUF 8‘s man-you-love-to-hate is close to finalizing his next Octagon appearance. Junie Browning and TUF 5 castmember Cole Miller have reportedly agreed to face each other at UFC Fight Night 18 (April 1st, Nashville). Still a perfect 3-0 as a professional, Browning most recently submitted Dave Kaplan via armbar at last month’s TUF 8 finale, and has been trying to get his game tightened up at Xtreme Couture in Las Vegas. Miller (14-3) is an American Top Team member who last fought at UFC 86 in July, where he choked out Jorge Gurgel. Sounds like a solid step up in competition for "The Lunatik" — will he rise to the challenge?

In other fight-bookin’ news…

— UFC Fight Night 18 will also host a middleweight bout between Ricardo Almeida and Matt Horwich, who are both coming off losses. Almeida dropped a split decision to Patrick Cote at UFC 86, while former IFL champion Horwich lost a decision to Dan Miller in his Octagon debut at UFC 90. As accomplished and talented as both fighters are, the loser might find himself without a contract.

— Junie Browning’s Team Mir drinking buddy Shane Nelson, who clawed out a split decision victory over George Roop at the TUF 8 finale, is being brought back to take on Aaron Riley at UFC 96 (March 7th, Columbus). Just like Cole Miller, Riley’s last appearance was also a win over Jorge Gurgel, at UFC 91 in November. Poor Jorge Gurgel.

(Does that look infected to you? Photo courtesy of myspace.com/allen_browning)

Following in the footsteps of fighters like Mac Danzig and Amir Sadollah, Junie Browning is the latest Ultimate Fighter notable to re-focus his training at Xtreme Couture in Las Vegas. MMA Weekly has confirmed that Browning started training with the camp about a week and a half ago, and so far he hasn’t tried to throw training equipment into the hot tub or jump off the roof:

“He’s been very quiet in the gym, there’s been no antics, there’s been no nothing,” [Randy] Couture said. “He shows up everyday and straps his gloves on and gets his work done.”

In other words, he’s functioning like a normal person, which is quite an achievement for the Kentucky native. At any rate, he’ll be whipped into shape by the team at XC, which includes UFC lightweights Tyson Griffin and Gray Maynard — who hopefully haven’t taken Junie’s “boring fucking wrestlers” comments too personally.

Related: Junie’s latest TUF blog for UFC.com is up, where he discusses the wave of interviews he had to do last week, Team Nog’s family-vibe, and the Jules/Vinny scrap (“To be honest, I don’t think Jules could have won a fight at 155″).

Junie Allen Browning interview – Watch more free videos

Just in case you thought Junie Allen Browning was putting on an act for The Ultimate Fighter, here’s some video evidence that at the very least it is a consistent act. Here’s Junie (known at the time as Allen) and his brother Rob appearing on something called “Insight 2 Sports” back in their AFL days. After watching this, I can honestly say that I feel like I have gained some insight, although I’m not so sure it is insight 2 sports so much as it is insight 2 the strange interior world of Junie Browning.

The constant bragging, the fight-picking, the ‘born to lose’ attitude in his darker moments. Junie, let me ask you something. Would you say that you’ve never felt quite good enough? Like maybe, when you’re in a restaurant and you hear people laughing across the room, your first thought is that they must be laughing at you? And then your second thought is that you should probably go over there and beat them all up?

I do like hearing Junie’s brother Rob lay out his plans for the future, though. First he talks about being in college like he’s serving a prison sentence, then says that all he wants to do is teach school, coach sports, and pay the bills with his fight purses. Of course, this all comes after we’ve seen him do his stripper fight entrance, which I can only describe as unsettling.

(Hey Kunta.)

When I heard Junie Allen Browning was doing a TUF blog for UFC.com, I had to check it out to see how apologetic/ashamed he was going to be after watching last night’s episode, in which he drank eight bottles of vodka, nearly broke his neck falling off a balcony, destroyed some house decor, then cried himself to sleep next to the pool. But judging from this excerpt, I don’t think he’s quite wrapped his head around how unacceptable his belligerent retardedness actually was:

If I had seen the previous season, I don’t think I would have acted that crazy, but the show was being recorded as season seven was being played so I didn’t know anything about Jesse Taylor and all that stuff. And to be honest, I thought Jesse Taylor made the show a little more interesting.

To be honest, I think they underplayed it, I was hoping they’d show a little more. They made me look a little more sane than I really am. Seriously though, it was somewhat embarrassing because I never really see myself acting like that big of an idiot, and now I can see where everyone’s coming from when they watch me and go ‘this guy’s a lunatic.’ Now I see it.

Sure, Jesse Taylor made last season interesting, but everybody watching pitied him. Dude was pathetic. And we’ll pity Junie Browning after he fucks up bad enough to be thrown out of the house. (Next episode, hopefully?) Also, if Junie’s truly embarrassed by what he saw in episode 3, he probably wouldn’t want them to “show a little more.” To borrow a phrase from addiction-recovery, I don’t think Junie’s reached his bottom yet. Who knows, maybe he straightens out after Dana gives him the tongue-lashing next week, and he can afford to have a dismissive attitude about his former drinking problem. I was just hoping for more humility. The guy’s a constant distraction, and his antics put other fighters in danger. Doesn’t he know what a dumb asshole he is?

(“Well, that’s the last time I go to Lady Jane’s.” / Photo via phuketwan.com)

Judging from the horrible stuff we previously read, we figured that the Junie Browning brawl-and-escape story would either end with the UFC vet triumphantly dragging his broken body into the U.S. Embassy while cleverly disguised as a peasant woman, or his arrest and imprisonment in a dank Midnight Express-style prison cell, or death via infection in the jungle. No, things didn’t look promising for our Lunatik.

Luckily, the latest update to the saga is a happy one, in the sense that Browning is still alive and is being treated well by the police. Like, suspiciously well. Maybe Thailand’s definition of “manhunt” is a lot different than ours, but it seems they just wanted Junie and the dude he scrapped with to get together in a room and talk out their differences. Phuket Wan has the details:

We got an email from Junie Browning over the weekend in our “tips” account in which the embattled former UFC fighter gives his full account of what went un last weekend in Thailand. We figured we would post it in full and let you decide for yourself what the truth is.

To recap, Thai police were looking for “The Lunatik” after he was involved in a brawl in a bar in Phuket last Sunday that spilled over into the hospital where several of the participants were being treated for injuries sustained during the raucous fight.

According to reports out of Thailand, Browning punched out a woman and then attacked a handful of patients in the hospital — a fact he vehemently denies. He is now on the run and hoping that he can get help from the U.S. Embassy in the case, which he says has been twisted and spun due to police corruption by the Mafia.

Check out the rest of the photos and Junie’s longhand version of events after the jump.

(What, me worry?)

Police in Phuket are combing the Thai island looking for Junie Browning after the troubled 26-year-old UFC castoff allegedly started a brawl in a local bar where he assaulted several patrons before attacking the victims again at a hospital later in the night.

(War’s lucky his cellmate didn’t see his Ebay ad.)

Well, it looks like War Machine has kept true to his word that he was going to stay out of trouble while in the clink.

Detailing his last four weeks in jail, the fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver avoided a brawl and had the self control to not beat his gay cellmate who insinuated that he wanted War to be his daddy.

In this packed edition of the embattled fighter’s Big House Blogs ^tm, the UFC outcast talks about wanting to fight fellow UFC outcast Junie Browning and snitching on some fellow inmates, which hopefully won’t get back to them like his stories of debauchery behind bars did the DA.

Here’s what Machine has been up to since the last time he checked in:

WEEK 8
So another fake ass back stabber gets added to the list: Steve Bruno. Him and Junie Browning both have volunteered to be stepping stones on my climb back to the UFC.

On a different note, my old celly is gone. I hope he is able to stay clean and out of trouble. Funny shit is my new celly is GAY! LOL! He’s been in the same module as me the whole time but I never knew it! Now that he lives with me he knows that I’m not a homo-phobe so he told me and holy shit! You wouldn’t believe the stories. I asked him if he’s got any "action" and he’s hooked up with two guys since I’ve been here. Crazy part is one was this skinhead guy and the other a young dude who actually had a hot girlfriend, I saw her at a visit. I wonder if she knows!? Weird, I guess you never know how people are behind closed doors. It’s a trip though. Whatever, it doesn’t bother me as long as no one pulls none of that gay shit on me! lol.

(Junie Browning: Ready for the orgy.)

Anybody who watched the eighth season of The Ultimate Fighter could tell you that Junie Allen Browning is as crazy as a peach-orchard boar. But after moving to Las Vegas to train full-time, it seemed like "The Lunatic" was slowly going sane. Well, not so much. According to the Las Vegas Review Journal (via CageWriter), Browning was rushed to St. Rose Dominican Hospital on Tuesday night after taking 16 Klonopin pills in an apparent suicide attempt. It was just the beginning of Junie’s troubles:

(Well, it was a nice vacation while it lasted.)

On Tuesday, we let out a long, weary sigh when we heard news that TUF 8 madman Junie Browning had allegedly beat up a woman at a bar, then beat up the bar’s staff and guests, then continued to beat up all of them later at a hospital. Considering Junie’s history of hospital violence, the story was all too believable.

Of course, Browning has his own version of the events, which paint him as a marked man in a corrupt country, doing his best to defend himself. Here’s what he wrote on his Facebook page immediately after the incident:

“Wow what a helluva weekend?!.. Some pussy named Sie Menzies and about 10 of his friends started a fight with me, I guess just to test a ‘UFC fighter guy’ at his shitty little bar in Karan Thailand. Had a beer bottle and glass mug shattered on my head then to make everything better, stabbed severely by some crazy Thai bitch. On a positive note I managed to break a few orbital bones, at least a couple jaws, and some unconscious bodies laying on the ground before I blacked out from loss of blood and apparently had to be resuscitated in the ambulance. So, how was your weekend?”

Once the gravity of situation sets in, Junie becomes deathly serious:

(Props: Fighters Only via MMA Mania)

In his first public statement since being arrested for multiple assaults following an alleged suicide attempt, Junie Browning apologized for whatever went down that night, but suggested, of course, that people don’t know the full story. "Stuff gets a little more complicated than it seems to be when you read it on paper. I have a lot of problems and I’m working on them. That’s just about all I can really say…I’m truly sorry for what happened, and if I could take it back I definitely would." Browning thanked the fans for their support and the UFC for the opportunity he was given, and promised he’ll make it up to everybody one day. Get well soon, Lunatic.

As for Browning’s mentor Shawn Tompkins — who drove Junie to the hospital during his Klonopin bender — the highly respected striking coach is going through some life changes of his own…

On April 1 Ryan Bader makes his first UFC appearance since knocking out Vinny Magalhaes to win the last season of “The Ultimate Fighter.”  The former Arizona State wrestling standout now has to live up to his billing with a victory in his first post-TUF bout against experienced vet Carmelo Marrero.  But as Bader told us in our exclusive talk with him, he’s aware that winning is necessary, though it isn’t enough by itself.  He also has to entertain, and therein lies a difficult conflict for a wrestler trying to dazzle knockout-happy crowds.

CagePotato.com: Thanks for talking with us, Ryan.  Now that you’re the TUF winner and getting ready to start your UFC career, is it how you though it would be when you first started on the show?

I went into the show and set high goals for myself.  My goal was to make it to the finale.  That was as far as I thought.  Then I did that and there was six months until the finale, and obviously my goal was to win the whole show.  But I set little goals for myself and accomplished them one at a time, and then set bigger goals.  After I won the show, my goal became to keep winning the fights in front of me, and that’s where I am now.  Eventually my goal is to have the belt.  I don’t want to be just another fighter.  I want that belt.  I know it’s going to take a long time.  I need to grow as a fighter and that’s all a long way off, so my immediate goal is to win each fight and chip away at the division.

I read recently where you said you thought too many wrestlers were taking unnecessary risks to win fights in exciting fashion.  When you fight, do you struggle with trying to be exciting and also not taking too many chances?

(Click the image to watch the video; photo courtesy of UFC.com.)

MMA Payout passes along the bad news that Wednesday’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter drew a 0.8 rating, making it the lowest-rated episode in the show’s history. (“The program drew quarter hours of 0.80, 0.66, 0.79, and 0.90.”) Who knows if Junie Allen Browning’s train-wreck antics will attract more people to the show or repel them, but it’s clear that his little storyline is going to get even more outrageous next week. Check out the TUF preview clip linked above, which shows Junie and his tremendous set of balls dragging Ryan Bader into the pool, kicking Tom Lawlor, and shoving Bas Rutten-lookalike K-Sos. Sure, Tom’s a total pussy, but I wouldn’t fuck with those other two unless I had a death wish. Of course, the reason that his housemates don’t murder the wee bastard is because they don’t want to jeopardize the opportunity they’ve been given to be on the show. What a concept…

Previously: Junie Browning ‘Somewhat Embarassed’ by TUF Behavior

(Oh, for the love of God, no. Props: MMA Junkie.)

Last season of The Ultimate Fighter introduced to us to a Kentucky-bred fighter named Junie Browning, whose crippling insecurities, alcoholism, and violent outbursts made him the show’s standout trainwreck — no small feat, considering all the sheet-pissing, semen-eating antics that were going on in the house. With the widespread criticism that the season received from MMA fans and other fighters, you’d think that the UFC would tighten up their TUF vetting process so that future unhinged psychos wouldn’t be allowed in to embarrass the organization and the sport as a whole. Well, not so much:

As if the generous supply of alcohol wasn’t enough to cause drama in the TUF household, somebody thought it would be a good idea to give Junie Browning a gun. Click the image above to check out some unaired footage of Team Mir’s trip to a firing range, where Frank proves himself to be an adept shot, and Junie frightens us once again. Speaking of TUF, that crazy stuff about Dave and Tom’s pee-drinking party that Efrain mentioned this morning was actually supposed to be in last night’s episode, but the scenes were edited out at the eleventh-hour. Thanks, Spike.

Below: In the latest installment of Dana White’s video blog, Dana gets his balls thoroughly busted before an ESPN appearance, checks in with Brock Lesnar (who’s currently walking at a fit 273 pounds), and has a heart-to-heart with Sable. Kinda boring, but the life of a UFC president isn’t all skate parks and meetings with 50 Cent. After the jump: A teaser video for Fields Dynamite!! 2008, which features some of the most amazing moments from past Dynamite!! shows including Bob Sapp calling out Mike Tyson, Heath Herring’s post-smooch knockout of Yoshihiro Nakao, and Fedor armbarring Hong Man Choi. These people know how to ring in the new year. Props to Nightmare of Battle.

(Props: MMA Mania)

THQ has released some more preview footage from UFC 2009 Undisputed, showing Da Spyder and Da Troof getting their pre-fight introductions. For more intros, hit up videogamer.com.

Below: RawVegas catches up with Junie Browning at Xtreme Couture and discusses his upcoming matchup with Cole Miller and his new training partner, War Machine. On War: "I think he’s a cool dude. That’s the kind of guy I would hang out with outside of here. [Ed. note: God help us all.] You get a lot of computer warriors and people like that, but they don’t really know a person…I think people get the wrong interpretation of him."

After the jump: NFL linebacker Dhani Jones learns some Muay Thai in a clip from his new show Dhani Tackles the Globe — which premieres March 16th on the Travel Channel — and an epic board-breaking fail.

(It gets a little heated at the 1:30 mark, and believe it or not it’s Cole Miller who escalates things.)

Those of you who were looking forward to the Steve Steinbeiss/Ryan Jensen fight that you probably weren’t going to see aired on Spike TV anyway are sure going to be…disappointed, I guess?  According to Cage Writer, the fight was scrapped when Jensen tested positive for Adderall, the ADHD drug also known to help fighters who are trying to cut weight or cram for that biology midterm.  So that explains that.

In other Fight Night 18 weigh-in news, check Cole Miller getting all up in Junie Browning‘s business.  It looks like Miller’s mouth is working hard too, though we can only guess what he was saying (something about Junie setting a bad example for the impressionable youth of Kentucky, we assume).  Oddly, Browning is the one who appears to remain calm throughout the encounter.  He even gives Miller a friendly, go-get-em butt slap.  Such a nice boy he turned out to be.  So supportive.

Pulver vs. Wheeler, from last night’s Co-Main Event

Yesterday, you may have looked at the name of Houston Alexander’s opponent, Razak Al-Hassan, and thought “Where have I heard of him before?”. Spoiler alert: He’s the guy who got his arm snapped by Steve Cantwell at Fight for the Troops because tapping is for bitches. It probably won’t come as too much of a surprise to you to find out that he had another fight stopped by injury. It may surprise you to find out that this time, the injury that prevented him from continuing was a dislocated finger. You read that correctly, Urijah. Not to make any accusations of bitchassness, but how did the doctor even realize that Al-Hassan had dislocated his finger without someone telling him?

The stoppage to this fight was almost as odd as watching Junie Browning give up during the first round of his fight with Jacob Clark. Granted, you could argue that Junie Browning gave up on this fight well before yesterday’s weigh-ins. Junie Browning came out quickly, earning an early takedown and nearly submitting Jacob Clark with a twister. However, once the ref stood the fighters back up and Clark stuffed an attempted takedown, Junie Browning gave up. Browning allowed Clark to gain side control, and immediately tapped once Clark started throwing elbows. Given Browning’s loss coupled with the fact that he has to forfeit an undisclosed sum of money per pound over 155, there is a possibility that Browning essentially fought for free (or rather, whatever his sponsors paid him) last night.

("Okay, my turn next," said Stankie, taking off his pants.)

Efrain‘s guest blog is going to be a little late this week, but we wanted to get up at least a small post about last night’s TUF double-header so you could discuss it, if you wanted to, in the comments section. Basically, here’s what happened:

Ryan Bader def. Eliot Marshall via boring fucking wrestling
Phillipe Nover def. George Roop via storm/kimura
Vinny Magalhaes def. K-Sos via scary, scary, high-level jiu-jitsu
Efrain Escudero def. Junie Browning via submission (punishment)

Of course, Browning actually competing in his semi-final match was a story in itself. Discouraged by his performance in practice, Browning announced to Frank Mir that he was quitting the competition; Mir had no objection. Back at the house, Browning threw a coffee mug at Shane Primm and started swinging at him. When the dust settled, Dana White stopped by to play psychologist, asked the guys if they wanted to kick Junie off or beat him off — we’d assume that Tom Lawlor voted "beat him off" — and convinced Junie to stay. Oh, and the best part? Junie is going to be on the main card of the TUF 8 finale, solely on the basis of being a ridiculous head-case. (Fittingly, he’ll be fighting Dave Kaplan, the runner-up to Junie’s reality-show dumbass crown.)

For the record, Junie places most of the blame for his loss to Efrain on having awful cardio. As he writes in his final blog entry for UFC.com:

Junie, Junie, Junie. [*shakes head*]

Last night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter started with the guys peacefully watching UFC 84, you know, just minding their own business. We see several highlights of Lyoto Machida beating up on Tito Ortiz. (So Dana White edits this show too? Impressive.) Inevitably, the evening is ruined by Junie Allen Goddamned Browning, who goes through a few bottles of chardonnay with Shane Nelson. Junie starts screwing with Team Nogueira, throws his drink in Kyle Kingsbury’s face, and then the glass, which breaks and cuts KK’s arm. This creates the major engine in the episode’s drama: Junie becomes convinced that he’s getting kicked out of the house for injuring his housemate, so he might as well self-destruct completely.

Shane Nelson, who “has the alcohol tolerance of a 12-year-old girl,” starts harassing Ryan Bader, then Roli Delgado, then Efrain Escudero; he shoves Roli and Efrain, trying to bait one of them into a fight, but they keep their respective cools. Junie and Shane are the Toxic Twins, feeding off each other’s bullshit, doing their best to out-do the other. They start throwing furniture into the pool.

Eventually, the other guys go outside to observe the damage. Junie gets in K-Sos’s face. “I wish y’all were my size,” he says to the light-heavyweights. K-Sos, the passive-aggressive prankster, gently places Junie’s clothes in the pool after he dives in. When Junie finds them, he’s understandably upset. K-Sos, unlike his last prank on light-heavyweight Ryan Bader, claims ownership for this one. Junie calls him a bitch. K-Sos calmly explains, “You’re the bitch. You are the biggest bitch of them all.” Bader throws Junie’s stuff back in the pool, and Junie drags him in, then kicks Tom LOL’er when him and Bader are pulled out. After a while, he cools off and tells everyone how much he likes them. What a bitch.

Junie finally got to fight this week. He had been talking all this crap about Rolando Delgado not making it out of the first round. At first I thought this was by the far the dumbest thing I had heard all season, but Junie is good at making people get that impression. At the house people started questioning Roli’s black belt. I didn’t need to question the man — he wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t legit. During the fight announcement Junie brought a black belt with him, and decided it would be cool for the cameras to throw it at Rolando’s face and then spit on it. I couldn’t believe this. It was very disrespectful not only to Rolando but to everyone who has worked for that belt. I don’t have a belt but I know people out there who live behind theirs, and to spit on it is ridiculous. Even Anderson Silva was there and when I was talking to him he was telling me that he disliked Junie. I don’t know about you, but if I found out that Anderson didn’t like me I wouldn’t want to make him mad.

Now back at the house, Junie wouldn’t shut his mouth talking about how good he was and that Rolando wouldn’t have a chance. I think he was trying to get into Roli’s head and at some point I was thinking that he was, but Rolando took it very well and just went with it. Junie is the type of guy that wants to be talked about no matter what you’re saying about him; he just wants to be remembered. So weigh-ins arrive and Junie was having a hard time making weight. I started tell Rolando to look at Junie and told him he’s going to be weak tomorrow because he’s really hurting to make weight. Finally he made weight, and I was happy for him because I wanted to see if he could really back all that shit up.

(Believe it or not, this is how AZ rolls, baby, all day.)

Every Thursday, Team Nogueira member Efrain Escudero blogs his reactions to each new episode of The Ultimate Fighter, exclusively on CagePotato.com. Don’t forget to check out the new fan section on EfrainEscudero.com, where you can interact with other EE fans and Efrain himself.

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During this week of The Ultimate Fighter we had a lot of drama. First we were watching UFC 84: ILL WILL, and it was the only time we get to see television the entire time we are there. Junie and Shane start drinking, and I mean drinking. Since we’ve been in the house we have noticed that when Junie drinks we have to be on the look out and watch each other’s backs because he tries to fight us. Right after the angry Junie comes the crying Junie, and we don’t understand why.

As the fights continue I try to get Shane mad by telling him that BJ Penn was going to lose. I knew that wasn’t going to happen, but I just wanted to make it an exciting fight, and try to get Shane more excited about watching BJ win. That was not the smartest thing I could have done because he had been drinking and he was teaming up with Junie, so I knew it wasn’t going to be pretty. As the night progresses, Junie tries to fight with Kyle. I don’t know why he would ever try to even attempt that because Kyle would kick his ass if it really came down to it. So Junie throws a glass at Kyle and the damn thing breaks and cuts him. Luckily for Kyle it didn’t cut him badly and even luckier for Junie, Kyle could restrain himself.