(Props: "ZzFDKzZ" on the UG)

Holy crap, you guys…this is really happening.

TUF 10 is scheduled to premiere September 16th, directly following UFC Fight Night 19.

(Kenny Chesney, come get your motherfucking award, man.)

Quick, what awards show is Kimbo Slice least qualified to be a presenter at? Don’t think about it, just answer. If you said Country Music Awards, you are correct. You are also about to be totally baffled.

According to Si.com, Kimbo will be at the CMA’s to hand out an award to some terrified country singer who will no doubt be oscillating between joy at having won an award and confusion as to why Mr. T was the one to thrust it into his sweaty hands.

Now, I don’t watch that many awards shows, but don’t they usually have presenters who are a) somehow involved in that field, or b) mainstream celebrities who are recognizable to the people watching/attending the awards show?

Of course, this makes a certain kind of sense when you realize that the CMA’s are on CBS, and according to Gary Shaw, CBS loves Kimbo so much that they “put that eye right on [him].” Um, that would be the CBS eye logo that Shaw is referring to there.

And thinking of that eye logo as a disembodied force that looks upon future talent for the network, like some kind of omniscient spotlight from the heavens? Yeah, that’s a very disturbing image. Thanks, Gary.

(Dignity is spelled, "K-I-M-B-O.")

Remember when we posted this picture and wondered aloud, ‘WTF?’  Well, Fightlinker has discovered the answer and it has left us exclaiming ‘WTF!?’

Turns out the picture was from a porn movie that features a cameo from Mr. Kimbo Slice.  The title of this porn movie is “Farold & Fumar Escape to the Bottomless Party” (link is obviously NSFW, unless you work at Hustler, and if you do, are you guys hiring?).  It is a predictably half-assed rip-off of “Harold & Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay,” which is itself already a half-assed attempt at a sequel to a half-assed attempt at a movie.

Kimbo plays a Gitmo guard by the name of Big Bud.  We know this because he shows up on screen and says, “What’s up bitches?  Hey bitches, I’m Big Bud.”  And his delivery is bad even for a porn movie.

Yeah, I think it’s safe to say Kimbo ain’t getting that part in the A-Team movie.  But the porn rip-off of the A-Team movie (entitled “Anal Team,” obviously) he’s a shoe-in for that.

Now we know why Kimbo Slice didn’t seem too bothered by his fourteen-second loss at Elite XC: Heat. Turns out he made half a million dollars for his brief night of work. That works out to $35,714.29 per second of cage time for Kimbo, which is an even better per second salary than Tim Sylvia received for his thirty-six-second loss to Fedor Emelianenko ($22,222.22, in case you’re curious).

It’s an especially impressive take when you consider that the live gate from Elite XC’s Ft. Lauderdale show was only $826,000. The only other fighter on the night to match Kimbo’s total was Andrei Arlovski, who was also paid $500,000 for his victory over Roy Nelson, though Affliction picked up the tab for both of them.

The full disclosed payout from Elite XC: Heat looks like this:

Kimbo Slice: $500,000
Seth Petruzelli: $50,000 (including a $15,000 win bonus)
Jake Shields: $50,000 (including $10,000 win bonus)
Paul Daley: $12,000
Andrei Arlvoski: $500,000
Roy Nelson: $80,000
Gina Carano: $25,000 (including $10,000 win bonus)
Kelly Kobald: $6,000
Benji Radach: $30,000 (including $15,000 win bonus)
“Ninja” Rua: $35,000

(Inaccuracy #1: this doll appears to be smiling. And we all know smiling’s for pussies.)

Yahoo’s Maggie Hendricks located this creepy Kimbo Slice doll on Ebay today, and then had the good sense to share it with the world. The seller, “chuteboxegod”, has this to say about the six-inch figurine:

This is a one of a kind custom KIMBO SLICE action figure
aprox. 6 inches.
Pimp Fist Chain included!!

Beard is hand sculpted for extreme realism.

Shorts have sponsor patches (Triumph United etc).
Figure is durable and ready to play with!!
Recreate your favorite Kimbo moments with this figure.

As Kimbo would say “Let’s run this SH!T!!”
cage not included

Chuteboxegod, you had me at hand-sculpted beard. As for recreating my favorite Kimbo moments, do you have plans for an Afro Puff figurine any time soon? I already have my own miniature boat salvage yard to put them in. What? I have to fill my free time somehow.

(Slice, during his “Suge Knight” period.)

Street-brawling YouTube sensation Kimbo Slice (real name: Kevin Ferguson) was arrested by Miami Beach cops in May 2002 on gun and open container charges. The felony weapons rap against Slice, 28 at the time, was eventually dismissed. He entered a no contest plea to the booze charge and was ordered to attend an alcohol education course. — TheSmokingGun, via the UG

Here’s the short follow-up to E:60‘s profile on Kevin “Kimbo Slice” Ferguson that aired last December. To answer the first question you’ll have after seeing this: Blood and Bone is about a drifter who gets caught up in a mob-controlled street-fighting ring. It’s Kimbo’s first acting role, and the flick also features appearances by Bob Sapp, Gina Carano, “Justice” and “Toa” from American Gladiators, and coincidentally, another guy named Kevin Ferguson. It will be released, probably straight-to-DVD, sometime later this year. And hey, why not check out the trailer after the jump.

EliteXC has released a new promo clip for its Street Certified event on February 16th. In it, Kimbo Slice discusses his respect for Tank Abbott. Unfortunately, since Tank is potentially standing in the way of a Slice family trip to Orlando, respect will only go so far…

(I swear to God, you guys, I’ve seen this image before.) 

Yesterday, I went a little off the beaten path and covered the world of professional wrestling, specifically Brock Lesnar’s re-signing with the WWE and subsequent F-5ing of company President Vince McMahon. Although the video was unquestionably hilarious, most of you guys (at least those who took the time to comment) were not able to set aside your MMA bias for even a second to enjoy it. And it’s a shame, because even if Air Force One is your all-time favorite film, does that mean you cannot occasionally enjoy the goofball satirical humor of Airplane? Please don’t delve any further into that terrible analogy, but of all the websites to cover the Lesnar story (and there were a few), I was kind of surprised that the audience of the “comedic” one had the least sense of humor about it.

So I’m not sure how you’ll take the news that TUF 10 veteran Kimbo Slice returned to the world of boxing last night, or the fact that we’ve decided to devote yet another article to it. On one hand, Kimbo is at least competing in a “real” sport after leaving the UFC. On the other, he is as tenuously connected to the world of MMA as Lesnar is these days, so perhaps we should just ignore him. On the third hand, Slice’s most recent fight against Australian-based journeyman Shane Tilyard was fucking awesome. As is usually the case in a Slice fight, things weren’t exactly pretty, but boy were they entertaining (for a round or so). For Christ’s sake, Kimbo attempted two takedowns in the fight. If you can’t appreciate that kind of irony, then we are just not the same kind of fight fans.

Video after the jump.

If it wasn’t already crystal clear that former pound for pound boxing great Roy Jones Jr.’s near twenty-five year career had gone on for far too long, Thursday it was announced that he will fight Kevin ‘Kimbo Slice’ Ferguson in Jamaica in December. This fight that no one asked for and that no self-respecting athletic commission would sanction is apparently being made possible by something called Giomax Entertainment Company and Stewart’s Auto Sales.

Yup.

Jones went the first fourteen years or so of his professional boxing career without a real loss (He was disqualified for hitting Montell Griffin while he was down in 1997 and promptly KO’d him when they re-matched five months later) and dominated multiple weight classes on his way to being considered, at times, the world’s best boxer, pound for pound. But since 2004 Jones has gone 7-7, with four of those losses being ugly knockouts or TKO’s.

(Whoever does Kimbo’s manscaping is a genius. More chest-hair photoshops right here.)

From MMA Weekly:

“He came in hungry. In my eyes, he came in hungry like he was before the Tank Abbott fight. It was a pleasure for me to see…We sparred every single day. We did not do that in the past. Because he had so much to learn, so many more technical things that Bas was showing him, he really didn’t have time to spar…As far as what happened before, he’s just got to take his loss and move forward…I told him the best revenge is success. He needs to go out there and show all those people that don’t like him and talk bad about him, even Dana White, go out there and be successful and everybody will forget all those things that happened to him. The biggest thing is that he’s mentally there, and he’s ready to go."
— Boxing coach Randy Khatami discusses his reunion with Kimbo Slice after a six-month layoff. Kimbo had stopped training at Elite MMA with Khatami after a falling-out with the gym’s co-owner Bas Rutten. By the way, rumors of more confirmed TUF 10 castmembers are coming out of the woodwork, including Justin Wren and "Big" Jim York.

(Give it your best shot, but please, no thai-style leg kicks.)

Just when you thought the Kimbo Slice hysteria had died down, more people have figured out how to make money off his likeness.  PrimeTime Amusements has unveiled their brand new “Team Kimbo Boxing Machine.”  

It’s one of those arcade games often found in cheap bars where the object is to hit a speed bag as hard as you can in order to prove your manliness to drunk chicks nearby.  After you hit the bag, a number appears, devoid of any unit of measurement, telling you whether you’ll get laid or not.  Ideally, you will find the number insufficient, and continue pumping quarters into the machine as you become drunker and angrier.  Meanwhile the girls go home with some guys who claim to work on Wall Street.

The fact that Kimbo is not a boxer doesn’t seem to bother the people at PrimeTime Amusements.  Nor are they troubled by the fact that these days “Team Kimbo” probably exists in name only.

I guess you have to strike the merchandising iron while it’s hot.  Though I hear these machines aren’t a great seller because all it takes is a weak jab to put them out of order.  Hi-yo!  Sorry.  I couldn’t help myself.

Sometimes mainstream pop culture is just a tad slow when it comes to keeping up with trends. A little less than a month after his image-shattering loss to Seth Petruzelli, which was followed by the demise of EliteXC, and this week Kimbo Slice‘s name is on everybody’s lips. First it was Tracy Morgan on Conan O’Brien, then Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, and then PTI’s Michael Wilbon dressed up as him for Halloween.

Oh, the cruel irony of it all. Has Kimbo been elevated to true celebrity status due to his mainstream exposure, or is he merely the pop culture joke of the week? At this rate he’s nearing Joe the Plumber status, or that ‘Leave Britney Alone’ guy (that was a guy, right?). Kimbo better hope it lasts long enough to sign a new contract.

(Yeah, that’s a Confederate flag on his shirt. What? Too soon?)

You may recall that we speculated about a potential match between IFL heavyweight champ Roy “Big Country” Nelson and Elite XC’s Kimbo Slice not so long ago. Apparently we’re smarter than even we realized, because IFL CEO Jay Larkin is telling Five Ounces of Pain that it’s a very real possibility:

“If Kimbo wins, we’ll make that match (Nelson vs. Slice) without hesitation,” said Larkin. “We”ll do in on an IFL card or an Elite card — we don’t care. Promotions working together is the only way for this business to grow.”

Two things in response to this: 1) promotions working together is the best (though not only) way for them to gain ground against the UFC, so Larkin has a point there, and 2) the IFL obviously has way more to gain from this fight than Elite XC does, so don’t be surprised if it never happens.

Right now Elite XC has a network deal, some big name fighters, and enough hype to choke a horse. The IFL has a six-sided ring. You tell me whose prospects are brighter. When you consider that Roy Nelson is not only a major threat to actually beat Kimbo, but also relatively unknown and far less marketable to mainstream fans, you have to wonder what the upside would be for Elite XC.

It’s also telling that Jay Larkin is the one talking up this fight, while Gary Shaw is concentrating on blowing people’s minds with MMA’s Tiger Woods this weekend. That’s Kimbo, just in case you haven’t been keeping up. One can only imagine what Shaw will liken him to if he wins tomorrow. MMA’s Alexander the Great? Seems appropriate.

(But does he love them?)

So you thought the war of words between Chuck Liddell and Kimbo Slice was over. You just assumed that after Liddell called Kimbo overrated, and then Kimbo replied that he had “nothing but these” (indicating his fists) for Liddell, that would be the end of it, didn’t you?

Well obviously, you haven’t been paying attention to the way things work in the world of MMA. The first rule of a nascent fighter feud? Never let someone else have the last word.

“The Iceman” knows how to play the game. That’s why he went on the unfortunately named “Rear Naked Radio” this weekend to clarify his earlier comments about Kimbo. And by clarify, we mean add fuel to the fire. From MMA Junkie:

“Before he talks about fighting me, he might want to think about beating somebody that has a winning record,” Liddell said. “He’s an internet sensation who beat up guys at Taco Bell. Come on. How hard is that to do?”

Oh. No. He. Didn’t.

Chuck Liddell obviously hasn’t been to a Taco Bell in Queens, because there are some pretty rough customers hanging around and waiting for their pregnant girlfriends to get off work. If you even suggest that she forgot your Baja Chalupa, she bursts into tears and then it’s out come the switchblades. You fight your way out of that one, you deserve some bragging rights.

But Liddell wasn’t done. He had some in-depth analysis of Kimbo’s recent opposition, most notably Bo Cantrell:

“That first fight they had on HDNet, he fought a guy that had been knocked out two times before in less than 30 seconds, and he tapped on his way down in [that] one. That was three fights that he lost in less than 30 seconds. How many guys do you know who’s done that?”

Truly, that is an impressive feat by Mr. Cantrell. Kimbo’s next opponent, James Thompson, is also coming off back-to-back first-round KO losses. At least his total ring time for those fights is a more respectable 2:34. Maybe a win over him will be enough to impress Liddell. Don’t count on it, though.

Ball’s in your court, Kimbo.

Keep this in mind the next time a cute girl offers you 25 bucks to do some “fucked up shit.”

Here’s Mr. Ferguson’s appearance on Jimmy Kimmel last night. It was just aight for me, dog — although the Mr. T/Jeffrey mash-up was pretty brills. The most interesting revelation is that Kimbo has a George Foreman-esque egocentric quirk w/r/t naming his children. Of his six kids, two sons are named Kevin, and he has a daughter named Kevina. And of course his two-year-old is muthafuckin’ bulletproof.

Kimbo, looking like Rick Ross with slightly better cardio

You know, I can’t help but feel like I’ve seen this happen before.

While you were busy watching UFC 141, Kimbo Slice looked to improve his professional boxing record to 3-0 at the Buffalo Run Casino in Miami, Oklahoma. So far in his boxing career, the Shaws have been feeding Kimbo cans with losing records, and Kimbo has been capitalizing in devastating fashion. Friday night, however, Kimbo Slice was given his toughest test in his young boxing career in Charles Hackmann, a fitness instructor making his professional boxing debut after taking the bout on just one day’s notice.

It’s almost like the guy was brought in to lose *snickers*, yet he held his own against the former UFC fighter (sigh), almost pulling off the upset in the second round. The action wasn’t as fast-paced as Cruz vs. Johnson, yet you wouldn’t know it by how badly both fighters gassed in the third and fourth rounds. When it was all said and done, Kimbo improved to 3-0, yet had major holes in his game exposed.

Video, courtesy of Iron forges Iron, after the jump.

(Yes, at this point they are in fact just fucking with us.)

Man, it’s like the Shaw family doesn’t even check with each other anymore before they go to the media and just start saying stuff. Remember it was less than two weeks ago that Gary Shaw told us that his longtime crush object Kimbo Slice would probably not be entering the world of boxing after finding out “how hard it is to be a boxer.” Well, on Tuesday, not 15 days later, Jared Shaw – Shaw Trek the Next Generation, if you will – made an appearance on MMA Weekly radio and immediately started issuing “open challenges” on behalf of one Kevin Ferguson, professional boxer.

Specifically, Shaw invited NFL player Ray Edwards to meet Slice in a boxing match. Edwards, a defensive lineman for the Minnesota Vikings, will make his own professional boxing debut this Friday at a casino in the Gopher State, against an as-yet unnamed opponent. So that sounds just super. Shaw’s comments and some of Edwards’ own ridiculousness are after the jump …

(VidProps: YouTube/Ariel Helwani)

As we found out on a recent episode of The Bum Rush, UFC rookie and Indianapolis local Sean McCorkle understands at least one constant in life: Nobody likes an angry giant. When you’re as physically imposing as McCorkle – he’s 6-foot-7 and says he started his “living nightmare” weight cut for UFC 119 at around 320-pounds – you basically have no choice but to be jolly. It’s just the more socially acceptable thing to do. As McCorkle reaffirms in this video interview with Ariel Helwani, the big fella’s got jokes, alright.

McCorkle is so legitimately amusing here that he doesn’t even break out his best material until the six-minute mark, when he starts talking about his bitch of an ex-wife. He claims he never considered fighting anything more than a hobby until said bitch “pretty much took all his money” in a divorce about a year and a half ago. Since then it’s been full speed ahead, running his professional record to 9-0 before being tabbed as the guy to welcome Pride veteran Mark Hunt to his contractually-obligated Octagon debut on Saturday.

“Boy, does your ex-wife feel stupid now,” Helwani says.

“She felt stupid to me before,” McCorkle deadpans. Hi-yo!

(Video courtesy YouTube/FightHubTV) 

I don’t know if it’s just coincidence, but most of the people involved with mixed martial arts who I can’t stand are either named Gary or Shaw. There’s the obvious Gary Shaw, his son Jared "$kala" Shaw and then there’s Jerry Millen, who changed his name from his given name of Gary because he thought Jer or Jerdog sounded cooler. Seriously.

Anyway, the blobfather of EliteXC and boxing who tried to have his way with Gina Carano on national TV is back talking about how he hasn’t decided if he’s going to screw up start another MMA promotion or whether he’ll just take some fighters with him to compete on one of his boxing cards.

(Video of the Daley/Koscheck cheap shot, courtesy of LynchTheGrynch; sorry about those first eight seconds, guys.)

In case you missed the press conference, the big news coming out of UFC 113‘s post-event aftermath is that Paul Daley and Kimbo Slice have been released from the UFC. Daley suffered his first loss in the Octagon after being smothered by Josh Koscheck for three rounds in their co-headlining bout last night, then followed it up by slugging Kos after the bell (see above). As Dana White explained to reporters, the poor decision earned Daley a permanent ban from the UFC:

As for Kimbo, his lopsided loss to rookie TUF 10 vet Matt Mitrione was enough to seal his fate. But unlike Daley, White has nothing but respect for the former YouTube brawler:

Putting recent speculation to rest, the UFC officially announced yesterday that Kimbo Slice will indeed face off with his TUF 10 castmate Matt Mitrione at UFC 113 (May 8th, Montreal). Slice is coming off a lackluster unanimous decision win against Houston Alexander at the TUF 10 finale, while Mitrione made his professional MMA debut at the same event, knocking out Marcus "Big Baby" Jones in the second round of their fight.

The fact that the Slice/Mitrione match was briefly removed from the UFC’s website, as well as the UFC’s previous vagueness with Mitrione, makes it seem like the UFC was actually considering Kimbo as an opponent for James Toney, but that freak-show will have to wait for another day. At the moment, Toney’s first opponent in the Octagon and the date of his debut are still question marks.

UFC 113 will be headlined by the light-heavyweight championship rematch between Lyoto Machida and Mauricio Rua; the current lineup is after the jump.

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

At the post-fight press conference following the TUF 10 Finale, Kimbo Slice was as pleased as you could reasonably expect considering he’d just narrowly scratched out a victory against a guy who all but refused to fight him. Though fans and pundits expected Slice and Houston Alexander to put on a one-round war — a backyard brawl brought to the Octagon — we instead got Minowaman vs. Zuluzinho part 2. "We were prepared for somewhat of his attacks, but I wasn’t prepared for the ring-riding that he did," Kimbo said. Still, he wasn’t going to let Alexander bait him into making a mistake:

(You don’t dress for the job you have, you dress for the job you want: manager of an inner-city Boot Barn location. Everybody has a dream.)

The final episode of "The Ultimate Fighter" season ten, is just a few hours away, and the boys at Spike TV seem like they may be worried that there isn’t enough at stake to make you tune in for the full two-hour show.  To remedy that, they sent out a teaser email promising that Kimbo Slice‘s future will be "revealed" tonight, prompting us to wonder whether this is finally going to be the TUF episode where the guys encounter a gypsy woman on the road during the drive home from the gym and she tells everyone’s fortune by looking at globules of their spit on the pavement (bad news for Wes Sims, he drowns in the Bering Sea this March). 

To further pique our interest on the matter, Ferg himself had this to say:

"Now it’s time for the next step in my career. Everyone will see what that is tonight on Spike. …It’s gonna be good.  Watch the show tonight. You’ll see what’s next for me. All I can say is that somebody’s getting knocked out. …Everybody knows what my stronghold is.  People will be able to see me and judge for themselves."

The weird part is, we pretty much already know what Kimbo’s immediate future holds; he’s fighting Houston Alexander.  So what’s all this next step stuff?  Unless something else happens in tonight’s episode to guide Slice’s life down a dramatically different path.  Something totally insane… 

(Props: UFC.com)

In about 12 hours (give or take, depending on where you are in the country), Kimbo Slice and Roy Nelson will go toe-to-toe in the most highly anticipated exhibition bout in Ultimate Fighter history. Will the former street brawler prove himself to be "a real fighter," or will big-bellied Roy Nelson stick to the script and chew out a win? (Or both, maybe?) I’m sure you’re all sitting on your hands in unbearable anticipation, but feel free to read this stuff to pass the time until the moment of truth:

— Kimbo Slice may be fighting at UFC 107, not the TUF 10 finale: A possible slip-up during a media conference call suggests that Slice will make his post-TUF debut on the December pay-per-view card in Memphis. Implication: Kimbo loses at some point during the season, but doesn’t embarrass himself, and his television popularity is enough to warrant an appearance on a big show.

(Props: CageWriter)

From Dana White’s appearance last night on the Carmichael Dave Show, in which DW discussed the Kimbo situation for the first time:

"We shot episode one today. He walked into the gym and was, ah…lemme tell you what, he was pretty serious. He wasn’t messing around, he wasn’t joking. He wasn’t laughing. I don’t think he’s a big Dana White fan, either. You know, how could you be after all the things that have gone back and forth? So we’re gonna find out this season if he’s for real or not…

I said a lot of things about this guy, and I’m gonna tell you now, just like I would, I’ve got nothing but respect for him. This guy stepped up and he wants to fight on The Ultimate Fighter. And he’s dead serious about winning this thing too."

(Kimbo poses with five of the college students he tutors. Photo courtesy of sobehot.com.)

As you’ve surely noticed, Kimbo Slice has been laying low since his embarassing loss to Seth Petruzelli at EliteXC: Heat. And though he would have been an excellent addition to DREAM’s Super Hulk Tournament, Kimbo’s days as an MMA fighter might be over for good. Last week, MMA Fanhouse reported that the YouTube-brawler-turned-MMA-sideshow is no longer contractually tied to Strikeforce, and now the Sun Sentinel is passing along this bit of news about Slice’s athletic future:

(It was totally worth kicking Bill Cosby’s ass to get that sweater.  Photo courtesy of K-1 Fans.)

Just when he thought he had safely escaped to the glorious city of Japan, Kimbo Slice may be finding out that Brett Rogers isn’t the only one who thinks it’d be fun to beat him up.  Nightmare of Battle is passing along a rumor that Melvin Manhoef spotted Kimbo backstage at last weekend’s K-1 2008 Grand Prix and wasted no time shouting out his appeal for Kimbo to, "Fight with me!”

Reportedly some K-1 officials got in between them before anything more happened.  Again, this is firmly in the rumor category at this point, but man would it ever be a fight I’d like to see.  Remember the punch from Seth Petruzelli that dropped Kimbo?  Manhoef throws harder punches in his sleep.  Seriously, he does.  As a kid he was banned from attending any and all slumber parties.  Plus, he uses those “Thai-style kicks” that Kimbo would rather just avoid altogether. 

My guess is that after seeing what he did to Paul Slowinski – who knows a thing or two about this kickboxing stuff – Kimbo wants no part of Manhoef.  Watch it for yourself after the jump, then see if you blame him: 

Dana White‘s not such a bad guy. Despite heaping scorn upon the legend of Kimbo Slice at every opportunity, he’s still willing to give him a job. Or at least he’s willing to give him the chance to prove himself worthy of a job, though he sounds less than optimistic about the bearded one’s chances:

“He can be on The Ultimate Fighter. What’s he done other than get 10 million hits on YouTube, what’s he done to deserve to be in the UFC? Nothing. I don’t consider him a real athlete. He won’t win The Ultimate Fighter. The offer’s out there if he wants to take it, but he won’t win it.”

Nothing like an offer that contains within it a prediction that you will fail should you accept said offer. That’s a great negotiating point to start from.

Slice’s manager, Icey Mike, doesn’t seem eager to take White up on that offer: