(Props: YouTube.com/TRIGGZINC via TheGarv)

When it was announced that Triggonomics brand-manager Frank Trigg was returning to the UFC after a four-year absence, we had a lot of questions — like who his first opponent would be, and when exactly he’d be fighting, and had he picked out his next weigh-in outfit yet. Well, we still don’t have specifics, but in this enlightening video blog recorded Sunday, Twinkle Toes tells us the following:

— He’d rather crash and burn against top-ranked opponents then face lesser-known guys, and he decided to return to the UFC because every top welterweight other than Jake Shields fights there.

(Don’t get used to it, buddy. By the way, those aren’t real tats — he’s wearing one of those queer-ass tattoo shirts. )

With his MMA debut coming in four days, you might be wondering what Jose Canseco has been doing to prepare for Hong Man Choi. After all, we’ve seen no photos or videos of him training at MMA camps, and he’s ignored every interview request from MMA news outlets (us included). It’s all a big mystery. Well, it seems like the real answer is the most logical one: