(Just think, if you lose HDNet now you might miss Bob Sapp vs. Kinnikuman II: The Reckoning.  If you let that happen you’ll just hate yourself.)

Time Warner Cable is renowned on much of the East Coast for spotty internet service, not showing up for scheduled installation appointments, and generally not giving a shit, so it should come as little surprise that they’re threatening to screw their MMA-loving customers by dropping HDNet at the end of the month.  Before you freak out and get a satellite dish, you should know that this isn’t the first time that they’ve talked about going HDNet-less.  It’s just the first time they’ve sounded really serious about it.  Now here’s where you come in, voice of the people.

Hey, alright! A big thanks to everybody who signed up for our forums to compete in this week’s caption contest. And special thanks to the few of you who were actually funny. Here are the five people who scored subscriptions to Fight! Magazine:

Lethal Infection: John Coffey appears to be losing his touch.

homyluv: Call me Picachu again bitch!!!!!

milo bling: only the japanese would let an inexperienced cartoon character compete in the ring. kinnikuman shouldn’t be in there either.

Kevinhfry: Moments later, Bruce Willis burst in with a Katana.

omfgdommy: DONT FORGET TO CHECK YOUR TICKETS! WE WILL BE GIVING AWAY A FRESHLY PISSED IN PAIR OF PANTIES BETWEEN THE FIRST AND SECOND ROUND!!

Lovely. If you’ve won, please shoot your real name and address to feedback@cagepotato.com. No Greg Kellying allowed.

(Gesias Calvancante, Kazushi Sakuraba, and Kinnikuman dress to impress at the Dynamite!! 2008 press conference. Photos courtesy of Sherdog.)

Heads up: Fields Dynamite!! 2008 kicks off tomorrow evening in Saitama, Japan, which, because of the sizable time difference, means it’ll be going on late tonight if you’re in the U.S., beginning at 3 a.m. ET. Since the 18-fight card won’t be broadcast live in the U.S. on HDNet or internet pay-per-view, you may have to resort to more roundabout means if you want to watch it live. At any rate, we’ll have full results and videos for you tomorrow, so don’t go nuts. Kinniku Mantaro, get ready to shock the world…

 
(Photo courtesy of SportsNavi via Fightlinker)

Hey, check this out: Fight! Magazine has hooked us up with five more subscriptions to give away to our readers. Except, we never give away anything around here. As always, if you want the goods you’ll have to earn it.

We probably don’t need to tell you that the above photo depicts the monumental Dynamite!! 2008 superfight between Bob Sapp and Kinnikuman. (Also known as "The Death-Rattle of Japanese MMA.") Give us some creative captions for this pic and our five favorites will win one-year subscriptions to the magazine. Easy enough, right? Well, here’s the deal…

All entries must be submitted to this thread in the CagePotato Forums. So if you haven’t created an account yet, do so now. It’s quick and easy, and you should be using our forums anyway you lazy bastards. Feel free to submit multiple entries, but get ‘em in by 2 p.m. ET on Thursday. The winners will be announced shortly afterward. Good luck!

(Now that I think about it, Kinnikuman would fit in perfectly with the TapouT crew.  Somebody get Punk-Ass to bring the bus around and pick him up.)

Let’s say, for the sake of argument, that you really want to bet on K-1 Dynamite 2008 tonight, which you probably won’t get to watch until tomorrow and which may or may not turn out to be a total shitstorm.  First, you’re a crazy son of a bitch, you know that?  Second, we got you covered.  Here are the best odds on the ‘net, courtesy of BestFightOdds.com:

Joachim Hansen (+150) vs. Gesias Cavalcante (-105)
Kazushi Sakuraba (-125) vs. Kiyoshi Tamura (+120)
Eddie Alvarez (-105) vs. Shinya Aoki (+120)
Semmy Schilt (-531) vs. Siala Siliga (+450)
Hong Man Choi (+160) vs Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic (-155)
Daisuke Nakamura (-110) vs. Hideo Tokoro (+135)
Alistair Overeem (+270) vs. Badr Hari (-250)

Thoughts…

(Props: BloodyElbow)

At least DREAM knows that their "Super Hulk Tournament" is a cartoonish freak show. Judging from the comic-book-style promotional clip shown above, they’re taking it about as seriously as we are. I don’t speak Japanese, but I was able to gather the following from context clues:

— Minowaman is a big fan of Kinnikuman, and vice versa.
— Hong Man Choi was relatively normal-sized as a child, but started to look like a Korean Rocky Dennis by the time he was a teenager.
— Jose Canseco is a filthy Communist.
— Jan Nortje is an ex-convict. If I had to guess, I’d say tax evasion.
— Like many Africans, Sokoudjou has the ability to speak to giraffes. His KO of Antonio Rogerio Nogueira at PRIDE 33 was so beautiful it made Harrison Ford cry. (Ford is referred to here as "Indy Jones.")

After the jump: In the latest installment of Matt Serra‘s UFC 98 video blog, Matty does a media day in New York on two hours of sleep; as usual, Ray Longo is dragged along for comic relief. Also, Sean Sherk‘s workout at API is so intense we threw up just watching it.

(Bob’s fist-allergy starts acting up at the worst possible time.)

There are freak show fights, and then there are fights that re-define the phrase "freak show." Bob Sapp’s next MMA appearance — his first in Japan since he beat comedian Bobby Olugun at last year’s K-1 Dynamite New Year’s Eve event — will be one of those fights.

It was announced today that the Beast will be competing at K-1/FEG’s Fields Dynamite!! 2008 card (December 31st; Saitama, Japan) against Kinniku Mantaro. And just who is this Mantaro fellow? Allow Nightmare of Battle to explain:

What we’re talking about here is a character from the Japanese comic series/cartoon Kinnikuman, which American audiences might remember from the ’80s collectible figurine line M.U.S.C.L.E. Playing the role of Kinniku Mantaro will be Akihito Tanaka, a heavyweight pro wrestler seven-time All-Japan Wrestling Champion who has been training recently at Kazushi Sakuraba’s Laughter 7 gym. And yes, he will be wearing the Kinniku mask during the fight, which will be "produced by DJ OZMA." Holy Crap. Good-natured comic relief, or the low point of Japanese sports entertainment? We’ll find out on New Year’s Eve. The nearly-complete lineup for Dynamite!! 2008′s otherwise-compelling card, and video of Kinniku in action are after the jump.

(Shockingly, this wasn’t the best fight of the night. Photo courtesy of CageWriter.) 

Total Bummer Update: The fight between DREAM lightweight champion Joachim Hansen and Gesias Cavalcante was canceled. Hansen did not pass a pre-fight medical examination, reportedly due to a recent hospitalization for a head injury. So that sucks.

K-1 Youth Tournament
Reserve fight: Taishi Hiratsuka def. Daizo Sasaki via KO, 1:00 of round 2
Semi-final 1: Koya Urabe def. Tatsuya Kusakabe via TKO, 2:21 of round 3
Semi-final 2: Hiroya def. Shota Shimada via unanimous decision
Final: Hiroya def. Koya Urabe via unanimous decision

DREAM rules: Ikuhisa "Minowaman" Minowa def. Errol Zimmerman via submission (toe-hold), 1:01 of round 1

K-1 rules: Artur Kyshenko def. Yoshihiro Sato via unanimous decision

DREAM rules: Daisuke Nakamura def. Hideo Tokoro via submission (armbar), 2:23 of round 1

DREAM rules: Andy Ologun def. Yukio Sakaguchi via KO, 3:52 of round 1

DREAM rules: Bob Sapp def. Akihito Tanaka (aka "Kinniku Mantaro") via TKO, 5:22 of round 1. Tanaka put Sapp in trouble early with takedowns and ground-and-pound, but Sapp was able to get to his feet and tag Kinnikuman with some of his big, wild punches against the ropes until the fight was stopped.

DREAM rules: Semmy Schilt def. Siala "Mighty Mo" Siliga via submission (triangle choke), 5:31 of round 1

DREAM rules: Hayato Sakurai def. Katsuyori Shibata via TKO, 7:01 of round 1

K-1 rules: Tatsuya Kawajiri def. Kozo Takeda via TKO, 2:37 of round 1. Kawajiri dropped Takeda twice with punches in the first round, then once more with a flying knee. It was the first in a series of dominant victories by MMA fighters in kickboxing matches at Dynamite!! 2008.

Wow.  Who would have thought that a) we’d ever see Mark Hunt get knocked out by something as simple as a left hook-straight right combo, b) in the opening seconds of a fight, and c) by a middleweight.  This is the guy who walked right through a Cro Cop high kick.  Hats off to Melvin Manhoef.  Maybe now he’ll get that fight with Kimbo Slice that he wants. 

More videos from Fields Dynamite 2008 after the jump.

(Official book trailer via poundforpoundmma)

CagePotato contributor Brian J. D’Souza has spent years covering MMA around the world, interviewing some of the most compelling personalities in the sport. His new book Pound for Pound: The Modern Gladiators of Mixed Martial Arts focuses on five MMA legends — Georges St-Pierre, BJ Penn, Anderson Silva, Mauricio Rua, and Fedor Emelianenko — taking readers through their humble origins, rise to fame, and the daily agonies that fans never get to see. It’s a fascinating first-hand look behind the curtain, from a journalist who completely immersed himself in the sport in order to return with some never-before-told stories. We’re thrilled that our good friend Brian was able to pull this thing off, and we highly recommend that you check it out for yourself.

We’ve excerpted the intro and first two chapters of Pound for Pound after the jump, which cover Georges St. Pierre’s unlikely emergence as an MMA contender, and how Wagnney Fabiano and Victor Vargotsky became critical to his early development. Take a look, and if you want more, please buy a copy at one of the links below.

Paperback:
- www.amazon.com/Pound-Modern-Gladiators-Mixed-Martial/dp/0988149303
- www.barnesandnoble.com/w/pound-for-pound-brian-dsouza/1114013524

eBook:
- www.amazon.com/Pound-Modern-Gladiators-Martial-ebook/dp/B00AQPZGE4
- www.barnesandnoble.com/w/pound-for-pound-brian-dsouza/1114013524
- www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Pound-Pound-The-Modern-Gladiators/book-N7TYdIt2qUinoo4aMGe0qA/page1.html
- www.smashwords.com/books/view/266927

Ah, the freak show.  Where honest competition meets the insatiable human desire to see something weird, typically in Japan.  In light of the events at this week’s Dream "Super Hulk" tournament, we thought we’d take a look back and count down the ten craziest, most outlandish freak show fights in MMA history.  Some are bizarre enough to be fun.  Some are just horrible.  At least one is actually kind of good.  All are totally insane.  Enjoy.

#10: Fedor Emelianenko vs. Zuluzinho
Pride Shockwave 2005, 12/31/05

Zuluzinho (real name Wagner da Conceição Martins, which explains why he goes by Zuluzinho) got his shot at Fedor for two reasons: 1) he is the son of the now legendary Zulu, the Brazilian beast of a man who should be familiar to anyone who has seen “Choke,” and 2) because at 6’7” and nearly 400 pounds, he’s a big, scary-looking fat dude.  What he isn’t is quality competition for Fedor, and that’s why he got the fight on December 31.  Everyone knows Fedor loves to beat a freak’s ass to ring in the New Year, the bigger and freakier the better.  

Just in case there was any doubt that this was an almost criminal mismatch, Zuluzinho erased it by going down with the second punch thrown in the fight.  We like to think that as he was falling time slowed down like in the movies and Zuluzinho allowed himself to wonder just for a moment, ‘Is there a chance that the Pride matchmakers haven’t been taking me seriously?’