("Back, and to the left…back, and to the left…")

With Jason Pierce pulled from the competition due to a combination of staph infection and bitchassness, Team USA needs to replace him with one of their eliminated welterweights. Mark Miller tells Dana White that he’s down to fight, but he has a broken nose ("It’s just a nose, I’m not getting any prettier"), and privately he wonders if he’s ready, since he hasn’t been able to train since his last fight. Frank Lester wants it bad, but his face is an absolute mess, with two black eyes, an aching nose, and a row of missing teeth.

Santino interrogates Pierce about why he isn’t fighting. Pierce claims that he totally tried to stay in the competition, but Dana looked at his leg and said he couldn’t fight — which is not exactly what happened, and the guys know it. Damarques thinks Pierce should be stripped of his TapouT gear. Lester furiously shadow-boxes.

In which Santino calls B.S. on Michael Bisping‘s jet-lag excuse, shares some insight on Frank Lester (pictured above, with jacked-up teeth), and hints that we’ll soon be seeing one of the biggest turncoat-acts in TUF history.

***

I am not so sure Captain Britania had suffered the amount of jet lag as he would lead us to believe. I mean, seriously, we had been filming for two to three weeks by that point and all the other coaches of the land of the rising Brit had figured out their sleeping schedules just fine. Booze-lag would be my assumption, as we had heard of him being in bars/clubs quite frequently from reputable sources…our coaches! Not all of them, but a couple. The best part of hearing about the head UK "piss-artist" (look it up as it has a different meaning in the UK as what you are thinking) is all the run-ins he had with our Jiu Jitsu coach, Pancho. Pancho, or Pantcho as he would end up spelling it (he’s right off the boat and doesn’t exactly have the best understanding of our language) got into a verbal joust with "Michael Bitchbing," as Pantcho would say, and almost got into a bit of a fist-a-cuffs exchange one night at a club.

The Ultimate Fighter 9 – Episode 5 Highlights – Watch more Funny Videos
(The ends of the Defranco/Winner and Johnson/Amasinger fights.)

Last Night’s episode of The Ultimate Fighter treated us to two quarterfinal matches — as well as a total breakdown within Team U.S. and the mysterious disappearance of Michael Bisping. "Wiggity Wack" (the episode’s actual title, according to my DVR) began by showing us just how fractured the Americans were becoming. Jason Dent implores his team to be mature after their first loss in episode 4, and Cameron Dollar basically tells him to stuff it, then tells the team about the 70-80 girls he’s humped, including his friend’s wife. (Hope your friend knew about that before the show, player.) Meanwhile, Team U.S.’s Jason Pierce and Team U.K.’s David Faulkner bond in the hot tub over their shared nerdiness, with Pierce predicting they’ll be friends after the show.