Steroids in MMA
Which MMA Fighter Will Test Positive For Steroids Next?

This Seems About Right

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Say you’re total moron and you want to learn to become a devastating MMA fighter and impress all your moronic friends.  What better way to learn than with the help of Frank Shamrock and full color photographs?  You can pre-order this bad boy from Amazon right now, and check out what you’ll be getting for your money:

A thorough introduction to this wildly popular combat sport–in FULL COLOR!
Mixed martial arts, or MMA, is a combat sport that combines practices from several martial arts, including boxing, wrestling, karate, jiu jitsu, muay thai, and judo. Featuring more than 150 step-by-step, full-color photos illustrating proper technique, this guide by MMA legend Frank Shamrock provides novices with a firm foundation in MMA fundamentals. Shamrock introduces readers to his famous training and fighting system and provides instruction on each aspect of MMA in clear, concise detail, including striking, fighting from the clinch, takedowns, grappling, submissions, and escapes.

Frank Shamrock (San Jose, CA) has earned titles as the Ultimate Fighting Championship middleweight, World Extreme Cagefighting light-heavyweight, and Strikeforce middleweight. He is the color commentator for CBS’s EliteXC: Saturday Night Fight.

I think you mean was the commentator for EliteXC, but no biggie.  

Honestly, if there’s anyone who can teach the dummies of the world a thing or two about MMA, it’s Frank Shamrock.  Step one: read the book.  Step two: become a world champion fighter.  Step three: walk away.  Step four: spend the next few years fighting intermittently and talking about how great you used to be.  Step five: get braces.

There you go.  Tell me that ain’t worth $16.49 plus shipping.

Cagepotato Comments

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john- February 3, 2009 at 7:46 pm
wow dude you got ryan sheckler, barack obama, john connor talking shit, totally not the tom guy
john- February 3, 2009 at 7:39 pm
and matt serra, is ellen degeneres and anderson silva next
barack obama- February 3, 2009 at 5:42 pm
disrespectful portlandmma, stop leaving stupid comments, ur so fuckin dumb
jon jones- February 3, 2009 at 5:41 pm
funny comments tom, portland ease up u idiot, respect the jokes and go fuck yourself before u get a spinning elbow
ryan sheckler- February 3, 2009 at 5:39 pm
uncalled for portland mma, get a life
matt serra- February 3, 2009 at 5:34 pm
i thought bj penn was dumb, i thought frank shamrock was dumber, but portland mma is by far the dumbest
john connor- February 3, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Portlandmma u should be banned from commenting on any mma related subjects cause u sir are dumb
mma fan- February 3, 2009 at 5:30 pm
portland thats just stupid
GSP fan182- February 3, 2009 at 5:30 pm
wow, could u be anymore stupid portlandmma?
john- February 3, 2009 at 4:46 pm
Its true, the writing is simply magical.
portlandmma- February 3, 2009 at 3:37 pm
Its really a great book, if you want to take it to that next level of fucktard or if you're just starting out we got it all. We also have other great reference books such as "How to fuck a Tard," and "Advanced Fuck Tarding." Last but not least we have "Dummy Fucktard," an engrossing tell all book by Cage Potato's resident douche bag tom. If you order now you get the full color pictures of Tom and CB Dollaway performing a mix of their favorite moves like the "Bavarian Overbite," "The Turkish Snow cone" and the "Mississippi nut gargler."
tom- February 3, 2009 at 3:17 pm
fucktards for dummies written by portlandmma
tom- February 3, 2009 at 3:17 pm
"mean muggin and flexin for dummies" written by nate diaz

"Palm strikes for dummies" written by kevin burns

"MMA manners for dummies" written by Gilbert Yvel

"Cardio for dummies" written by BJ Penn

"Importance of calcium for dummies" written by Corey Hill

"Singing in pitch for dummies" written by matt hamill

"STD's for dummies" written by Tito Ortiz

"Motorcycles for dummies" written by Evan Tanner (Too soon?)

"Hairstyling for dummies" written by clay guida

"learn to be a total fuckin douchebag for dummies" written by matt serra

"how not to win a caption contest by mentioning the ultra popular evan tanner in a tasteless joke for dummies" written by tom

portlandmma- February 3, 2009 at 3:13 pm
It has to be funny to be used, and you failed miserably.
portlandmma- February 3, 2009 at 2:42 pm
The funny thing is I think Arlovski didn't even get more then 2 inches off the ground before Fedor knocked him out. I'm so tired of hearing everyone talk about how good Arlovksi's boxing looked, he only did it for like 3 fucking minutes and then got knocked the fuck out. Shit, i can look like I can win the tour de france in the first 3 minutes but anything after that i start vomiting on myself, does that make me Lance Armstrong?
Anonymous- February 3, 2009 at 1:46 pm
"Losing a fight you're already winning by jumping into a punch for dummies by Andrei Arlovski"

I heard one of the chapters was written by Uriah Faber

Chapter 7- how to lose the belt by spinning into a punch
You're an idiot- February 3, 2009 at 12:56 pm
Hahaha, yeah I totally meant to put "an" instead of "and".... I'm blazed off my ass, but either way fedor doesnt get lucky its not his fault andre arlovski is a fucking moron and tried a flying knee when his opponent was fedor and wasnt hurt at all.
You're and idiot- February 3, 2009 at 12:54 pm
Wasnt a lucky punch queer, its called an overhand right and fedor throws them all the time. Maybe the book should be "How to throw a girly flying knee and be the first person in mma to be knocked out in mid air" by Andre Arlovski
portlandmma- February 3, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Hah i thought the same thing just now when I saw the picture, then when i clicked on the Amazon part of it I realized it was an actual book. I just noticed the final chapter is called "love they brother."
Old, Bald and Irish- February 3, 2009 at 12:28 pm
Oh crap...

I saw this on Shammy's MySpace and I thought it was just a Photoshopped joke.

This is real....?

AllInYourGrill- February 3, 2009 at 12:15 pm
I hope Clay Guida contributed a section on the art of ass hugging.
99th in line to bang Tuf Guys Mom - February 3, 2009 at 12:10 pm
still waiting......
portlandmma- February 3, 2009 at 11:54 am
TUF Guy I am really hoping you are foreign or under the age of 13, if not you are living proof of how fucked up the public school system is. I felt like I was drunk just reading that, oh and calling people out for their lack of knowledge and then spelling exaggerating as "exaturating," was pure comedic gold, especially since the comment box has spell check.
Fedor Petruzelli- February 3, 2009 at 11:50 am
How to take a beating and then pull a lucky punch out of nowhere for dummies....
Written by Fedor
portlandmma- February 3, 2009 at 11:47 am
How to ruin a career for dummies by Roger Huearta, co-authored by Todd Beard.