(Props: MMA Payout)
Say you’re total moron and you want to learn to become a devastating MMA fighter and impress all your moronic friends. What better way to learn than with the help of Frank Shamrock and full color photographs? You can pre-order this bad boy from Amazon right now, and check out what you’ll be getting for your money:
A thorough introduction to this wildly popular combat sport–in FULL COLOR!
Mixed martial arts, or MMA, is a combat sport that combines practices from several martial arts, including boxing, wrestling, karate, jiu jitsu, muay thai, and judo. Featuring more than 150 step-by-step, full-color photos illustrating proper technique, this guide by MMA legend Frank Shamrock provides novices with a firm foundation in MMA fundamentals. Shamrock introduces readers to his famous training and fighting system and provides instruction on each aspect of MMA in clear, concise detail, including striking, fighting from the clinch, takedowns, grappling, submissions, and escapes.
Frank Shamrock (San Jose, CA) has earned titles as the Ultimate Fighting Championship middleweight, World Extreme Cagefighting light-heavyweight, and Strikeforce middleweight. He is the color commentator for CBS’s EliteXC: Saturday Night Fight.
I think you mean was the commentator for EliteXC, but no biggie.
Honestly, if there’s anyone who can teach the dummies of the world a thing or two about MMA, it’s Frank Shamrock. Step one: read the book. Step two: become a world champion fighter. Step three: walk away. Step four: spend the next few years fighting intermittently and talking about how great you used to be. Step five: get braces.
There you go. Tell me that ain’t worth $16.49 plus shipping.
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Comments
Tue, 02/03/09 - 08:51
first!!!!
Tue, 02/03/09 - 08:51
3rd!!!
Tue, 02/03/09 - 08:52
Step 6: Write book to pay for braces.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 08:54
I'm looking forward to the follow-ons: "Ruining your good name by entering bad fight after bad fight for one last payday for dummies" by Ken Shamrock, and "Commentatering Good for Dummeries" By Cheeto Ortiz
Tue, 02/03/09 - 08:55
and those books just are ridiculous and wouldnt ever happen
Tue, 02/03/09 - 08:57
New book for dummies "How to taste the Pee Pee of a ufc fighter youve had a man crush on for years, but never had the guts to make a move on in person, but still craved his ding dong and finally got a taste for dummies" by Tim sylvia
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:00
2nd!!!
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:02
Someone obviously went to Frank Shamrock and said "Hey, why don't you write a book like Tito and Randy did?" Frank replied, "I not know how to rite good, so if'n I rite a book, only dummys will reed it."
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:03
im sure he already had enough money to pay for his braces
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:15
He earned the titles of Middleweight and Light Heavyweight in various organizations? Being a weight is an achievement? I guess that makes sense if you come from the same planet as Frank, where the gravity is so slight even your thoughts have trouble staying with you.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:17
if you read this book, you can fight like a 131 year old!
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:20
I suppose I should retract my statement. After rereading what it was trying to say, I suppose it makes sense. My bad Frankie... still though...
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:30
Tom needs slapped!
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:32
BJ needs to read this.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:34
I like to break a mental sweat too!
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:36
Low Blow fellows....the braces thing.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:40
Losing a fight you're already winning by jumping into a punch for dummies by Andrei Arlovski TEARING THE FABRIC OF TIME BY SCORING THE ONLY KNOCKOUT ON A CARD for dummies by Lyoto Machida Liver shots for dummies by Bas Rutten
Tue, 02/03/09 - 09:56
"Straight up $kala for Dummies" a bit redundant, but with a picture of Jared mean-muggin' on the cover, who wouldn't buy that! "Subbin' while shootin' a 'Stockton Hey Buddy' to the Crowd". Dumb idea for a book but one more excuse to CP to use that picture of those little 209er punks in their early punk years.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 10:03
"how not to operate an MMA website for dummies" by cage potato BOOM roasted
Tue, 02/03/09 - 10:06
"how speak proper english for dummies" by Georges st.pierre in association with jon fish and matt hues
Tue, 02/03/09 - 10:16
"how to give a great BJ for dummies" translated from jenna jameson by tito ortiz includes over 300 colour photos acted out by non other than the former UFC LH champ himself
Tue, 02/03/09 - 10:24
You forgot a few steps: 4 and 1/2: Take a beating from Cung Le. Step 5: Get Braces. Step 6: Start your singing career with a shitty ass Christmas jingle. Step 7: Learn to read and write. Step 8: Write the dumbest book possible because you are broke and no longer have a job. Step 9: Apply for commentary job with affliction because Tito should not be allowed to speak in any form of public media. Step 10: Make comeback to fame by either a)Get ass kicked again? or b)Gang rape conviction? (Hey if Joe Son can do it so can Frank)
Tue, 02/03/09 - 10:26
When I take a big steaming dump and flush it down and then when those turds mix up with all the sewage and decompose and then the H2S gas evaporates and some shit-fly inhales it and then that fly takes a shit, then one of the flies shit particles accidentaly breaks off..well that particle has more MMA knowledge than 99% of CP readers. I am not even exaturating this a bit. While I step into the ring three times a week to apply ooma palootas and unleash some furious striking you guys are on here wondering "how does GSP being greased up help BJ Penn??!?!?! DDuuRUUUURRGGHH??"
Tue, 02/03/09 - 10:30
Hey what ever Happened to Kimbo Slice?
Tue, 02/03/09 - 10:32
I think Kimbo's still loving the city of Japan
Tue, 02/03/09 - 11:01
Kimbo is probably tied up with a defunct contract. You know EliteXC owned Kimbo more than anyone. I bet his contract was rock solid. So they are screwing him over now but at least he got paid well for his 4 fights.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 11:13
Good Office reference, very nice.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 11:25
To tom that is....
Tue, 02/03/09 - 11:47
How to ruin a career for dummies by Roger Huearta, co-authored by Todd Beard.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 11:50
How to take a beating and then pull a lucky punch out of nowhere for dummies.... Written by Fedor
Tue, 02/03/09 - 11:54
TUF Guy I am really hoping you are foreign or under the age of 13, if not you are living proof of how fucked up the public school system is. I felt like I was drunk just reading that, oh and calling people out for their lack of knowledge and then spelling exaggerating as "exaturating," was pure comedic gold, especially since the comment box has spell check.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 12:10
still waiting......
Tue, 02/03/09 - 12:15
I hope Clay Guida contributed a section on the art of ass hugging.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 12:28
Oh crap... I saw this on Shammy's MySpace and I thought it was just a Photoshopped joke. This is real....? BWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !
Tue, 02/03/09 - 12:52
Hah i thought the same thing just now when I saw the picture, then when i clicked on the Amazon part of it I realized it was an actual book. I just noticed the final chapter is called "love they brother."
Tue, 02/03/09 - 12:54
Wasnt a lucky punch queer, its called an overhand right and fedor throws them all the time. Maybe the book should be "How to throw a girly flying knee and be the first person in mma to be knocked out in mid air" by Andre Arlovski
Tue, 02/03/09 - 12:56
Hahaha, yeah I totally meant to put "an" instead of "and".... I'm blazed off my ass, but either way fedor doesnt get lucky its not his fault andre arlovski is a fucking moron and tried a flying knee when his opponent was fedor and wasnt hurt at all.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 01:46
"Losing a fight you're already winning by jumping into a punch for dummies by Andrei Arlovski" I heard one of the chapters was written by Uriah Faber Chapter 7- how to lose the belt by spinning into a punch
Tue, 02/03/09 - 02:42
The funny thing is I think Arlovski didn't even get more then 2 inches off the ground before Fedor knocked him out. I'm so tired of hearing everyone talk about how good Arlovksi's boxing looked, he only did it for like 3 fucking minutes and then got knocked the fuck out. Shit, i can look like I can win the tour de france in the first 3 minutes but anything after that i start vomiting on myself, does that make me Lance Armstrong?
Tue, 02/03/09 - 03:13
It has to be funny to be used, and you failed miserably.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 03:17
"mean muggin and flexin for dummies" written by nate diaz "Palm strikes for dummies" written by kevin burns "MMA manners for dummies" written by Gilbert Yvel "Cardio for dummies" written by BJ Penn "Importance of calcium for dummies" written by Corey Hill "Singing in pitch for dummies" written by matt hamill "STD's for dummies" written by Tito Ortiz "Motorcycles for dummies" written by Evan Tanner (Too soon?) "Hairstyling for dummies" written by clay guida "learn to be a total fuckin douchebag for dummies" written by matt serra "how not to win a caption contest by mentioning the ultra popular evan tanner in a tasteless joke for dummies" written by tom
Tue, 02/03/09 - 03:17
fucktards for dummies written by portlandmma
Tue, 02/03/09 - 03:37
Its really a great book, if you want to take it to that next level of fucktard or if you're just starting out we got it all. We also have other great reference books such as "How to fuck a Tard," and "Advanced Fuck Tarding." Last but not least we have "Dummy Fucktard," an engrossing tell all book by Cage Potato's resident douche bag tom. If you order now you get the full color pictures of Tom and CB Dollaway performing a mix of their favorite moves like the "Bavarian Overbite," "The Turkish Snow cone" and the "Mississippi nut gargler."
Tue, 02/03/09 - 04:46
Its true, the writing is simply magical.
Tue, 02/03/09 - 05:30
wow, could u be anymore stupid portlandmma?
Tue, 02/03/09 - 05:30
portland thats just stupid
Tue, 02/03/09 - 05:33
Portlandmma u should be banned from commenting on any mma related subjects cause u sir are dumb
Tue, 02/03/09 - 05:34
i thought bj penn was dumb, i thought frank shamrock was dumber, but portland mma is by far the dumbest
Tue, 02/03/09 - 05:39
uncalled for portland mma, get a life
Tue, 02/03/09 - 05:41
funny comments tom, portland ease up u idiot, respect the jokes and go fuck yourself before u get a spinning elbow
Tue, 02/03/09 - 05:42
disrespectful portlandmma, stop leaving stupid comments, ur so fuckin dumb
Tue, 02/03/09 - 07:39
and matt serra, is ellen degeneres and anderson silva next
Tue, 02/03/09 - 07:46
wow dude you got ryan sheckler, barack obama, john connor talking shit, totally not the tom guy
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