(Joana Prado, Vitor Belfort‘s lady.)

While perusing the internet for interesting MMA stories today, Ariel Helwani at MMA Rated alerted me to an article in The Sun (UK) about the sexiest “WAGs” in MMA. If, like me, you’re unsure what a WAG is, it stands for wives and girlfriends. Apparently, a popular thing to do in Britain is to ogle the love interests of soccer stars (or “footballers”) and argue about who’s got the hotter girlfriend. I guess you have to pass the time somehow when you don’t have the death penalty.

After checking out the list, which has its share of errors (as Ariel points out), I was struck by how similar all the women seemed. Not necessarily similar in the sense of interchangeable. God knows Forrest Griffin‘s girlfriend is more attractive than, say, Tim Sylvia‘s or Joe Rogan’s, which only makes me think that the universe is indeed a just place.

But at the same time they all had a certain, how should I put this, quality about them. It’s the kind of quality that makes you look at them and feel pretty sure that if they haven’t done some type of porn (Jenna Jameson, Joana Prado, etc.), they at least consider the girls in Playboy as role models of some sort.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own tastes. I guess what I’m saying is it seems kind of remarkable how fighters all go for the same kind of girl. Is it something in their genetic makeup and they can’t help it?

What about the girls they dated before they were famous and semi-wealthy? Were they the same type of girl, just a little further down on the spectrum, like maybe they had a weird mole on their face or cheaper hair extensions? Do the women get better looking as your record and fight purse improves? Do they get smarter? More fun to be around?

The other thing that occurred to me while viewing this handy and sometimes incorrect slide show was how my knowledge of and feelings about the fighter affected how I viewed his girlfriend. For example, Elvis Sinosic’s girlfriend? Really attractive. So what’s she doing with Elvis? Is he considered a catch in that neck of the woods?

An even better example is Phil Baroni‘s girlfriend. She’s pretty, looks far less slutty than most of the others, but something has got to be wrong with her if she’s dating Baroni. I mean, what do you even talk about when you’re alone with him? I’m pretty sure it isn’t books or film or the intricacies of the presidential race. Probably it’s more like him asking her to shave his back and her trying to change the subject.

I realize I’ve already spent way too much time thinking about this, so I’ll stop now. But before I do, let me leave you with a question. Say you’re a young fighter coming up through the ranks and you look at how happy Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson seem to be, how they’re this perfect, fucked up couple in the world of MMA. Does that make you feel encouraged, even motivated? Or are you a little bit sad and disheartened, even if you can’t say why?