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Sexiest MMA WAGs Prompts Some Soul Searching

(Joana Prado, Vitor Belfort‘s lady.)

While perusing the internet for interesting MMA stories today, Ariel Helwani at MMA Rated alerted me to an article in The Sun (UK) about the sexiest “WAGs” in MMA. If, like me, you’re unsure what a WAG is, it stands for wives and girlfriends. Apparently, a popular thing to do in Britain is to ogle the love interests of soccer stars (or “footballers”) and argue about who’s got the hotter girlfriend. I guess you have to pass the time somehow when you don’t have the death penalty.

After checking out the list, which has its share of errors (as Ariel points out), I was struck by how similar all the women seemed. Not necessarily similar in the sense of interchangeable. God knows Forrest Griffin‘s girlfriend is more attractive than, say, Tim Sylvia‘s or Joe Rogan’s, which only makes me think that the universe is indeed a just place.

But at the same time they all had a certain, how should I put this, quality about them. It’s the kind of quality that makes you look at them and feel pretty sure that if they haven’t done some type of porn (Jenna Jameson, Joana Prado, etc.), they at least consider the girls in Playboy as role models of some sort.

There’s nothing wrong with that. Everyone has their own tastes. I guess what I’m saying is it seems kind of remarkable how fighters all go for the same kind of girl. Is it something in their genetic makeup and they can’t help it?

What about the girls they dated before they were famous and semi-wealthy? Were they the same type of girl, just a little further down on the spectrum, like maybe they had a weird mole on their face or cheaper hair extensions? Do the women get better looking as your record and fight purse improves? Do they get smarter? More fun to be around?

The other thing that occurred to me while viewing this handy and sometimes incorrect slide show was how my knowledge of and feelings about the fighter affected how I viewed his girlfriend. For example, Elvis Sinosic’s girlfriend? Really attractive. So what’s she doing with Elvis? Is he considered a catch in that neck of the woods?

An even better example is Phil Baroni‘s girlfriend. She’s pretty, looks far less slutty than most of the others, but something has got to be wrong with her if she’s dating Baroni. I mean, what do you even talk about when you’re alone with him? I’m pretty sure it isn’t books or film or the intricacies of the presidential race. Probably it’s more like him asking her to shave his back and her trying to change the subject.

I realize I’ve already spent way too much time thinking about this, so I’ll stop now. But before I do, let me leave you with a question. Say you’re a young fighter coming up through the ranks and you look at how happy Tito Ortiz and Jenna Jameson seem to be, how they’re this perfect, fucked up couple in the world of MMA. Does that make you feel encouraged, even motivated? Or are you a little bit sad and disheartened, even if you can’t say why?


Cagepotato Comments

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GSP for Prime Minister- May 25, 2008 at 12:28 am
Hottest girlfriend: Arlovski's

Hottest wife: Kid Yamamoto's
Aikura- May 22, 2008 at 9:07 pm
Ugh. Jenna. She's such a piece of s**t. And to think she's talked about wanting to spawn. Can you imagine the result of that genetic combination? Like an albino gorilla on spindly brown toothpicks. Awesome!
hmm- May 21, 2008 at 9:27 pm
does bjs woman have a fucked up sphere head like bj?
Bettertaste- May 21, 2008 at 7:00 pm
Ummmm ... I actually think Rogan's gf is the best looking and that Sylvia's gf looks better than Forest's. And I don't think that BJ Penn chick is attractive at all. Everyone has different taste I guess.
walrus- May 21, 2008 at 6:23 pm
^cabbage patch kids, hahahah
Anonymous- May 21, 2008 at 6:22 pm
^cabbage patch kids, hahahah
bpd- May 21, 2008 at 6:18 pm
All I know is this: I thought I saw a mid-level call girl at the IFL show in Jersey, and she was Jay Hieron's wife. I was nearly brought in by the gravitation pull of her surely cavernous girl parts.
johnnyk- May 21, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Why do you have to bad-mouth Elvis? He is one of the nicest guys in the sport, and he deserves a beautiful GF a lot more than some of these other A-holes.

I also don't think it is too much of a trend in the types of girls they choose. Lots of fighters have normal wives and girlfriends that don't look like they just rolled out of Larry Flynt's limo. Rich Franklin's wife is attractive, but not slutty. Sean Sherk, Chris Lytle, Matt Hughes, Fedor, and many others have very wholesome looking wives. In fact, Randy Couture has had three of them!

Also, Nick above says BJ wins by a landslide. That is only because that girl is in no way associated with BJ, and they made a mistake in linking her to him. I'm sure BJ has a nice little cabbage patch doll for a GF, and they can make little cabbage patch kids.
Bdizzle- May 21, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Fighters are the new Rock Stars, I live in Vegas so thats what I know. Don't because we get the hotties that you want. HAHAHA

I prefer a farm animal...
MKXii- May 21, 2008 at 12:57 pm
Worthless without pics.
nick- May 21, 2008 at 12:01 pm
BJ Penn wins by a landslide.

How many times do we think Baroni's girlfriend has heard the phrase "I'M THE BEST EVAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" in bed?
MarleyMarl- May 21, 2008 at 4:32 am
Andrei's girlfreind is Hot.
Jake- May 21, 2008 at 2:32 am
Do the women get better looking as your record and fight purse improves? Of course they do! We all know some dork techie, trader, etc who has a babe wife simply because he's rich.

Get with the program: Chicks chase the cash!!!
Friendo- May 21, 2008 at 2:31 am
This is a interesting point that i have noticed myself. I think it just speaks to the general shallowness of most jocks/fighters. Sure some of these ladies might be great people and all that, but on average its just the hottest/sluttiest girls these guys could find and semi stand that they hook up with. Its a free country so have at it boys. Look at the mature fighters like Fedor, Hughes, Couture and their wives. There wives are attractive women that no one would mistake as pornstars. These guys are men and fight and live accordingly. Most of the MMA guys are just bad boys with the typical bombshell girls that will be gone when the hard times come. They blow up, act like children and crumble under true adversity. Its inspiring to see Fedor calmly tap some guy out while blood is running down his face from a huge gash. He's taken care of business like a man. Fuckin Baroni is Fedors opposite "Best EVA" total shit head bad boy who fell apart in front of the luke warm Frank Shamrock. Tito and Jenna are a perfect match. They deserve eachother. Who elsa could put up with their shit besides an equally crazy semi celebrity?
Wiltzor- May 21, 2008 at 2:18 am
Fact is, if you're a professional fighter, girls want your cheese. Unless your name is Tim "No Game-iac" Sylvia. See what I did there?
TrouserSnout- May 21, 2008 at 1:55 am
Greed...that's the answer. It's all based off greed.
Gong- May 20, 2008 at 11:19 pm
I love it when you overanalyze things like this for me. Reminds me of an earlier piece you wrote about women who attend MMA shows or something other.
The Survivalist- May 20, 2008 at 10:55 pm
Worst post ever! Zero stars! WTF is going on around here?
is0butane- May 20, 2008 at 10:38 pm
I am disheartend that JJameson will not be starring in any more "Action" movies...