(I know, tons of words rhyme with Shane, but let’s think this through.)
There’s a discussion brewing in our forums right now, begun by user LuketheDuke, with the goal of finding a suitable nickname for UFC heavyweight Shane Carwin. Luke is right, here. Carwin doesn’t have a nickname (that we know of — maybe he’s keeping it a secret?), and after knocking out Gabriel Gonzaga and cracking the all-important top ten in the Cage Potato Power Rankings, the time is now.
Trouble is, after looking through your forum posts I see that many of you are in love with the rhyming nickname. This disappoints me. As awesome as suggestions like Shane “The Great Dane” Carwin and Shane “You’ll Need a Cane” Carwin are, rhyming nicknames always seem forced. Although at least T Rex rhymed the last name with his submission: Shane “Darwin” Carwin (since the dude is bringing survival of the fittest back to the UFC’s heavyweight division). I like that.
But think about some of the great nicknames in MMA. Very few of them are rhyming nicknames. “The Dean of Mean” Keith Jardine is a notable exception, but only because it’s so detailed. Think about how much lamer it would have been if he’d just been lazy and gone with “Mean” Keith Jardine. See? Total bullshit.
The best nicknames capture some aspect of the guy’s personality or fighting style or even appearance. Ask Jeff “The Snowman” Monson about that last one. He knows.
I’m all for giving Carwin a nickname, and I even think through the sheer force of repetition we might actually make it stick. But let’s do this thing right. I’m not saying it can’t rhyme. I’m just saying we shouldn’t look at this thing like a poem for your middle school English class. Shane deserves better than that.
I now call upon your collective intelligence and wit. Head on over to the forums and make a suggestion. Don’t let the big man head into another fight nickname-less. Not after all he’s done for you.