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Shane Carwin: A Man in Need of a Nickname

(I know, tons of words rhyme with Shane, but let’s think this through.)

There’s a discussion brewing in our forums right now, begun by user LuketheDuke, with the goal of finding a suitable nickname for UFC heavyweight Shane Carwin.  Luke is right, here.  Carwin doesn’t have a nickname (that we know of — maybe he’s keeping it a secret?), and after knocking out Gabriel Gonzaga and cracking the all-important top ten in the Cage Potato Power Rankings, the time is now.  

Trouble is, after looking through your forum posts I see that many of you are in love with the rhyming nickname.  This disappoints me.  As awesome as suggestions like Shane “The Great Dane” Carwin and Shane “You’ll Need a Cane” Carwin are, rhyming nicknames always seem forced.  Although at least T Rex rhymed the last name with his submission: Shane “Darwin” Carwin (since the dude is bringing survival of the fittest back to the UFC’s heavyweight division).  I like that.

But think about some of the great nicknames in MMA.  Very few of them are rhyming nicknames.  “The Dean of Mean” Keith Jardine is a notable exception, but only because it’s so detailed.  Think about how much lamer it would have been if he’d just been lazy and gone with “Mean” Keith Jardine.  See?  Total bullshit.

The best nicknames capture some aspect of the guy’s personality or fighting style or even appearance.  Ask Jeff “The Snowman” Monson about that last one.  He knows. 

I’m all for giving Carwin a nickname, and I even think through the sheer force of repetition we might actually make it stick.  But let’s do this thing right.  I’m not saying it can’t rhyme.  I’m just saying we shouldn’t look at this thing like a poem for your middle school English class.  Shane deserves better than that.

I now call upon your collective intelligence and wit.  Head on over to the forums and make a suggestion.  Don’t let the big man head into another fight nickname-less.  Not after all he’s done for you. 

Cagepotato Comments

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Ricardo Guitardo- July 12, 2012 at 10:45 am
Steve "The Juice" Carwin
Anonymous- April 30, 2009 at 8:04 pm
shane "king kong" carwin.....picture that in buffers voice
shane "the freight train" carwin
shane "power shark" carwin
Q- April 7, 2009 at 11:16 pm
Does anyone else know the mystery of why Keith Jardine's name in KotC was Keith Vardel? Keith "Fart smell" Vardel?
Conrad Knorr- April 6, 2009 at 2:47 pm
Something like psi/per square inch or pure.sick.intensity.
Anonymous- April 5, 2009 at 11:17 pm
shane XXl carwin or shane xl carwin..heres more...champ (probably soon).. my fist...iron fist...marble man...hardhat...concrete....concrete on da feet...STAND UP fall down..stand up sit down...i like this 1 shane SIT DOWN carwin
shane gravity carwin..power punch..night night...sleep tight...lethal..NAP TIME..
hard hitter..bedtime?..i like nap time better...stay down...leave u laying there...
have another...bone breakr'...backbone..mountain man..manpower..never quit...
undisputed...hand raised...refuse 2 collar...immaculate...
midwest marvel...big prospect...all american..heavy load?...heavy artiliary...barbaric...gargactuaion i dont know how to spell that?...Handful... hammerfist...competitor...all out...balls out...big balls ha ha sorry..buried alive...
jarhead..jarr'd..get rocked..head daze...seein starz...early defense
no way out...roadblock...blockade...ten count...inneviatable...fall back..silencer..
breathtaker..bad blood...head hancho...brass...adrenaline..rock hard..demolition
fireworks....early curfew...big bone...thickboned..thickskull..numbskull...punch out
shutdown...shotdown...lockdown...shut em down..killer instinct...reaction time...
actionpack'd...backbreaker..lethal strike..hard strike..domination...
shane "lets see that again" carwin...shane "instant replay" carwin...hammer time
undertaker...#1...JUGGERNAUT....sprawl n brawl..doom strike...deadpool. line
deathgrip...grumpy..glutton cuz always time...
headache...guillotine...last man standing...buzzkill...done deal...royal beating...catch a beating ... beatdown...get put in place...ego crush...bullrush..
bar room brawl...the man in charge...foreman...large & in charge..deep focus..
daydream..dont blink...nightcapp...JACKED me.. carnivorious...frightening...the frightener. pitfall...big risk..heavy risk...crunch..
a platypus- April 1, 2009 at 7:36 pm
shane brake carwin
JC- April 1, 2009 at 2:27 am
Shane "In Vain" Carwin
beneye48- March 28, 2009 at 7:44 pm
shane feel the pain carwin

shane bring the pain carwin
Anonymous- March 25, 2009 at 8:00 pm
Im pretty sure his original nickname is Shane "the train of pain" Carwin.
Rotfish- March 23, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Shane "bring the Pain" Carwin or

Shane "Brain Pain" Carwin
Anonymous- March 22, 2009 at 9:34 pm
the engineer
Anonymous- March 19, 2009 at 8:19 am
shane 'dinosaur herpes' carwin
shane 'the main brain' carwin
shane 'darwin' carwin
shane 'hulkaSHania' carwin
shane 'igloo' carwin
shane 'littel buddy' carwin
Anonymous- March 19, 2009 at 6:36 am
NWFP- March 19, 2009 at 6:33 am
NWFP- March 19, 2009 at 6:32 am
CPR- March 18, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Shane "The Pain" Carwin
Ground Control- March 16, 2009 at 10:59 am
Shane "Hammer Hands" Carwin

"Steam Hammer" Shane Carwin

Shane "Kinetic" Carwin

"Shaper" Shane Carwin

Shane "The Milling Machine" Carwin
Hyas- March 15, 2009 at 6:58 pm
Durden- March 15, 2009 at 11:15 am
Shane "The Fistfucking Refrigerator" Carwin
ztb- March 14, 2009 at 9:07 pm
shane "tiiiiiiimmber" carwin (i win)
Anonymous- March 14, 2009 at 2:18 pm
Shane "Big Nazi" Carwin
truefan- March 14, 2009 at 6:21 am
"The Game" Shane Carwin

over done, cut print.
truefan- March 14, 2009 at 6:19 am
shane "not starvin" carwin
Masterslickfit- March 13, 2009 at 10:30 am
Shane "Heavy" Carwin
ztb- March 13, 2009 at 10:15 am
shane "the knuckle dragger" carwin