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Simply Put, It Sucked: Assembling the Best Tweets Regarding the Crappiness of UFC 149

(Well said.)

Twitter holds an interesting place in the MMA landscape. On one hand, it often comes across as little more than a medium for fighters to vent their frustrations with the foresight and competency of a middle school dropout, or to aid in the ongoing series of endless, needless arguments that constitute 90% of the internet nowadays. Seriously, I was on one of those porn sites that allow comments the other day and stumbled across a heated argument concerning what the woman fellating the donkey onscreen was probably thinking. My guess was that she was reconsidering her choice to forgo those online courses for some quick cash and a shot at Fame (which coincidentally was the horse’s name), but the two (probable) gentlemen involved in said dispute seemed to think she was trying to determine the ethnicity of said horse (if that’s a thing), and which race she likely decided upon. Did I mention she was blindfolded? She was blindfolded.

On the other hand, “The Twitter” has shown on several occasions that it can serve as more than a battleground for our petty arguments, and can actually be used as a tool to unite people from opposite ends of the planet over a given cause. Although it failed in the end, Twitter was almost solely responsible for giving Mark Hunt the opportunity of a lifetime, or bringing Tim Sylvia back to the UFC to dominate 85% of the promotion’s heavyweights like we all know he would (I mean, have you even seen his workout regimen?).

And one thing that the collective minds of Twitter seemed to reach an agreement on was that UFC 149, to put it professionally, sucked major donkey dick (see how I brought that all together? I’m less a writer, more a prophet). So in order to bid what will ultimately go down as one of the most disappointing main cards in UFC history adieu, we’ve collected some of the funniest tweets from around the Twittersphere, some from actual fighters, others from random jagoffs with the simple ability to hashtag UFC 149 after their comment, for your viewing pleasure. Enjoy.

We shall begin with the far and away greatest tweet of the night, which surprisingly enough came from Bellator welterweight champion and Ambien substitute Ben Askren, who you may recall suffered a first round TKO at the hands of Dana White the last time we saw him on Twitter:

Self deprecating humor? Check. A rip on the UFC? Check double plus. Adhering to the classic “This is more______ than _____”, Family Guy cutaway formula? Check fuckin’ mate.


The second best fighter tweet of the night went to the Thugjitsu Master himself, Yves Edwards, for this simple, yet effective burn:

Lord knows I love me a movie reference, and although Gladiator was a somewhat obvious choice, it fits the mood of whatever the hell Boetsch/Lombard was supposed to be like a glove.

Dan Henderson, who has pwned Dana White before using the social networking device, was a little more frank with his assessment of the event:

Check out some more of our favorites below.

Joe Rogan, who told it like it is (as we’ve come to expect): “Well ladies and gentlemen, that was not a good fight card. I enjoyed the prelims and the main event had it’s moments but overall not so good.”

Siyar Bahadurzada, for his on-point judging abilities: “Both lost this fight… The referee lost too! Fuck, even the crowd lost… And the viewers back home too. You get paid to fight!!!!!!!”

George Roop, for being a Debbie Downer during Barao’s entrance: “Barao comes out to all I do is win. Sadly his entrance already has more action then the rest of the card.”

Our boys over at MiddleEasy, for their time tested eloquence when evaluating Hector Lombard‘s performance: “That screech you hear in the distance is the Hector Lombard Frate Trane crashing and igniting in a fiery blaze.”

MMAWeekly’s Damon Martin also hopped on the Lombard Frate Hate Trane: “‘Hector Lombard is the man to challenge Anderson Silva!’ said no one ever after watching that fight.”

Ariel Helwani, for riding the wave of awesomeness that was every fight before Ebersole/Head, then crashing back to earth during the main card until he could tweet no more:

“Whoa? Matt Riddle showing some pretty great technique. This card really is a blessing!”

“Hold the phone on those blessing tweets.”


And finally, AJ Hoffman, a sports radio host, MMA writer, and self-described “all around good guy”, for pleading his case to DirecTV: “Fight of the Night= Me and my cable company when I try to convince them a homeless guy broke in and ordered that BS PPV.”

So, Potato Nation, were there any other notable tweets/complaints that tickled your funny bone last Saturday? Or were you too bogged down by self loathing and the depression that comes with essentially having flushed a 50 dollar bill down the toilet to even notice?

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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KidDinomite- July 24, 2012 at 9:49 am
Further proof the UFC needs to start thinking about eliminating the PPV model alltogether. Is an obsolete way of making money. Stick to showing cards on Fox, FX, and Fuel. The Pay Per View model is now obsolete plus all the sportscasts on Fox make a ton of viewership money. Maybe it's just greed, what else?
Fried Taco- July 24, 2012 at 8:43 am
Nice how you get to claim the $$ you paid for the donkey porn as a work expense.
BHOP- July 23, 2012 at 8:17 pm
When ben askren finds a fight boring, you know you fucked up. Lombard has no right to call out anderson anymore after his little bitch performance. Btw, this article is obviously ripped off of middleeasy. Danga, come up with some original ideas, instead of biting other sites articles and inserting movie quotes.
scroteus- July 23, 2012 at 6:26 pm
Only 3 out of 5 were real shitty. Riddle/Clements was OK so was Faber/Barao. I was very, very disappointed with Hector Lombard, Ebersole looked like he'd been drinking and I went to the toilet halfway through Kongo/Jordan for a dump.
Chromium- July 23, 2012 at 5:18 pm
I watched this at Hooters and afterwords I wanted my $3 cover fee back.
Caralho- July 23, 2012 at 4:21 pm
Fact : this article was 1000x more entertaining than the PPV itself. I hope Dana offers a refund to those of us who bought it, in the hopes that Lombard would be the saving grace of this PPV.
bownessmma- July 23, 2012 at 3:55 pm
best part was when the crowd was chanting "refund". You could watch better fights at a Flames game.