("I’ve killed more than 350 people in five different states. I’ve got to warn you though, some of the details are a little bit hazy." PicProps: MMA Mania)
As several astute MMA writers reminded us last week, UFC 126 was initially supposed to be Chael Sonnen’s second chance to not totally blow it against Anderson Silva. Then Sonnen’s life took a dramatic zag when we discovered his piss was pure testosterone and he was forced to turn stoolie to avoid jail time on a federal mortgage fraud beef. His UFC contract duly frozen, we haven’t heard much at all from the now former realtor as he prepares for sentencing. After Silva’s Seagal-inspired win over Vitor Belfort on Saturday night though, old school wrestler-turned-fighter-turned-commentator-turned-actor Paul Lazenby (official MMA record 1-6, according to the Dog) reached out to Sonnen for comment. Turns out, dude didn’t have anything nice to say at all.
"Thank you, Anderson, for revealing yet another weakness for me to exploit in our rematch,” Sonnen said, or emailed as it seems. “Beating that poor punching bag doesn’t impress Uncle Chael, guy. You tipped your hand like a chump poker player at a $5 table in Atlantic City. You may have beaten Vitor, but in the process, you LOST your edge. By beating that husk, you gave me the last page of your playbook. Revel in your time, (because) it ENDS the night you face me. I will mow you down like autumn wheat, AGAIN."
Yeah, at this point, Sonnen’s patter is starting to feel pretty desperate. He’s like a serial killer who just keeps confessing to made-up crimes because the thing that scares him most is that people will lose interest in him. Also, we already know that his opinions are as malleable as a Roman gladiator’s sexuality, but referring to Belfort as “that poor punching bag” and “that husk” constitutes a 180-degree turnabout from what he said about “The Phenom” almost a year ago to the day.
To put it in perspective we have to take the Way Back Machine to UFC 109. At the time, Sonnen had just surprised us all by stomping a mudhole in Nate Marquardt and his name was being bandied about as a possible next opponent for the winner of Silva vs. Belfort … which was supposed to go down at UFC 112. Oh, those were heady days, friends. Anyhoo, on Feb. 9, 2010, Sonnen told MMA Junkie he was hoping to fight Silva, because he considered Belfort the much more difficult opponent.
"I hope Anderson wins because I think Vitor is a lot tougher fighter," Sonnen said. "If I had to choose between the two, I’m going to take the low road and take the easier opponent to the championship … I really do think Vitor Belfort, in truth, has never lost a fight in the stand-up realm. The blueprint to beat Vitor is out there, but it’s not to stand up with him."
New blueprint: Kick him in the face.
Sonnen’s latest comments come just a few days after UFC President Dana White told MMA Fighting there is still no timetable for his return. White will no doubt wait until Sonnen’s sentencing hearing on March 28 to see if a federal judge honors a plea agreement with prosecutors that is expected to net him mere probation.
“We still have to see what happens with all his personal problems," White said.
Shit man, by March 28, Jon Jones will be the light heavyweight champion (further stoking the public fire to see him fight Silva) and we’ll be neck deep in prayers that that asshole Jake Shields doesn’t screw up Dana’s plans for a GSP-Anderson superfight. Gotta wonder if Uncle Chael might have missed his window here.