Spike TV Has A Sense of Humor; Tito Ortiz Hates Dogfighting
Remember that awful movie starring the powerhouse acting duo of Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz? Sure you do, it’s called “Zombie Strippers!” and reading the plot synopsis alone is guaranteed to lower your IQ. But give Spike TV credit, they recognize when something is so terrible that it’s actually enjoyable (as if the fact that the movie has an exclamation point in its title isn't a dead giveaway).
That’s why they’re premiering the movie this Sunday night, and making absolutely no bones about how horrible it is with this press release they sent out today:
New York, NY, April 15, 2009 – Described as a combination of "Citizen Kane" meets "The Godfather" meets "A River Runs Through It," Spike TV presents the world television premiere of the sweeping epic "Zombie Strippers!" on Sunday, April 19 (10:00pm-12:00am ET/PT).
Cinematic legend Jenna Jameson gives an Oscar-worthy portrayal of an angst-ridden exotic dancer in Nebraska who becomes infected with a deadly virus and morphs into a supernatural, flesh-eating zombie. In her tour-de-force performance, Dame Jameson spreads the virus to the unwitting customers at the strip club. Renowned thespian Robert Englund, famous for his critically-acclaimed role as Freddy Krueger of "The Nightmare on Elm Street" films co-stars in "Zombie Strippers!" Jameson’s real-life paramour, former UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, makes his eagerly-awaited big-screen debut as a bouncer.
"Zombie Strippers! is a movie that will air next Sunday at 10:00pm on Spike TV," triumphantly declares John Griffin, vice president of programming, Spike TV.
Nicely done, Spike TV. If only more of your non-MMA content was presented with the awareness that it actually sucks.
Not content with his “eagerly-awaited” acting debut, Tito is branching out even more in this PETA ad.
(Props to reader Bob for this find.)
It’s sadly ironic that the guy above the tagline “I choose to be in the ring,” has lately chosen not to, opting instead to make ridiculous contract demands and beef with other fighters outside the cage.
Jenna did her own PETA ad in the nude to encourage people to get their dogs and cats fixed. Someone should have explained to them that the racy, kind of naked for shock value genre really works better if the whole world hasn't already seen so much of you that they feel like your reluctant gynecologist.
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Manvite.com Says:
Do you guys really think I'm gay?
bitteralex Says:
flesh-eating zombie? so this is a biography?
rokabee Says:
I thought this was her last adult film erotica....I guess its a regular, watchable movie?....Why is she in a movie that doesn't require her to be cocked more times than John Wayne's shotgun? its just sad..
Imbecile Says:
So this is Tito's movie career that he has postponed fighting for? Kinda makes the Scorpion King 2's straight to video release seem like a huge deal.
KimboSlicesofPie Says:
ACTUALLY rokabee, she has only been in Lesbian porn for the recent years.
Sorry
WANT SOME PIE BITCH?
emo sux Says:
I love when Tito refers to Jenna as a smart, beautiful woman...
Harry Russo Says:
Cage Potato is turning into a bunch of prententious hipster fuckheads. They probably wear rimjob glasses, skinny jeans, and little jackets. You probably have beards too, and by beards, that doesn't mean your 250lb repressed bulldyke girlfriend. They also probably dj a few nights spinning Morrisey and Interpol. Bunch of fucking queens you are. You probably only like fighting because it's two dudes in shorts getting sweaty. Everyone one of you streetdouches has beat off to Jenna a hundred times and you know it. Don't act like you are so big.
CAPS LOCK HAL Says:
SHE'S A FUCKING STUPID SICK WHORE, AND TITO IS A FUCKING FAILURE MORON. ALOT LIKE SOME OF THE ASS FUCKING DIP SHIT STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS THAT POST ON HERE.
Harry Russo Says:
Also, The Ortiz/Jameson household income>>>>>>>>>>yours.
CAPS LOCK HAL Says:
WHO GIVES A BIG FUCK ABOUT MONEY. MOTHER FUCKER I MAKE ENOUGH MONEY TO LIVE ON, AND I'M VERY COMFORTABLE WITH WHAT I'M WORTH. MY LIFE DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND WHO HAS A MILLION DOLLARS IN THE BANK, AND WHO DOES'NT. I COULD'NT CARE LESS WHAT THEY HAVE IN THEIR BANK. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK. YOU SHOULD GET YOUR PRIORITIES IN ORDER, AND THINK ABOUT THE BIG PICTURE OF WHATS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE. MONEY IS NOT ON THE TOP OF MY PRIORITY LIST MOTHER FUCKER. WHAT ABOUT YOU THERE BIG GUY. WHATS MOST IMPORTANT IN YOUR LIFE. (MONEY) OHHHHHHH YOUR A FUCKING IDIOT.
Warcraft Says:
I didn't know the Tito and Jenna fanclub was linked this story.
That explains the stupid ass comments.
WAAA I HAVE A CAPS LOCK BUTTON WAAA. Jennas a Whore WAAA I wish I was a slightly less of a failure then Tito WAAA.
And my STD count<<<<<<<<<<
Harry Russo Says:
Don't be bitter and hateful there HAL just because your sister sucked cock and got fucked for a living like Jenna except she didn't make millions. She just had you.
Jay Says:
I think Tito's actually doing an ad for Puta. Although I'm not wearing my glasses so perhaps that's the problem. Also the real reason Tito hates dogfighting is that most of them are fighting for a chance to piss on his fire-hydrant shaped head.
CAPS LOCK HAL Says:
HARRY RUSSO/WARCRAFT, MAN YOU STUPID FUCKS ARE BORING THE SHIT OUT OF ME. YOUR NOT PUTTIN UP A VERY GOOD FIGHT HERE GUYS. VERY FUCKING BORING. YA GOT NOTHIN SO JUST STOP TRYING TO ARGUE WITH ME OR GET THE BEST OF ME BECAUSE THE 2 OF YOU ARE FUCKING PATHETIC. YOU FUCKING SUCK, AND ITS JUST REALLY FUCKING LAME TO READ THE STUPID SHIT THE 2 OF YOU ARE SAYING. LOOK, I'M JUST GONNA SHUT THE FUCK UP MYSELF UNTILL I SEE SOMEONE ELSE ON HERE THAT MAY BE CAPABLE OF PUTTING UP A HALF WAY DECENT FIGHT. JUST PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP, AND STOP WITH THE STUPID ASS COMMENTS.
CAPS LOCK HAL Says:
DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS
HOW TASTES MY PEE PEE Says:
How tastes my DEAD Pee Pee...
Harry Russo Says:
Get a life HAL, just accept the fact that Jenna is far more scary and brutal than you are. She's been reamed HARD by Peter North, Rocco Siffredi, TT Boy, etc. She obviously has endurance and is tougher than you are and would kick your ass. And Tito? That takes guts to love a woman like Jenna, knowing that Randy West jizzed up in her, been tag teamed, sucked a ton of dong, and what not. You don't have that toughness you pussy. You ain't hard cunt.
Diggler Says:
For being such a big animal rights activist Jenna Jameson sure has put her own "beaver" through a lot of hell...
The Harvester Says:
I have seen that movie and its hilariously terrible. Its really a must see!
Tito is in it for like 10 seconds so don't watch it expecting more.
But Robert Englund (Freddy Krueger) is in it as the stripclubs manager and he is fucking hilarious. There is also a pretty ridicoulous but rememberable scene with jenna and some pool balls.
If you like watching bad movies because you think they are funny this is definately up your alley.
poon goggles Says:
@ diggler
the true cagepotato carlos mencia, stealing a sweet jeff ross joke from his pam anderson roast, get your own jokes faggot...ahh shit are the but pirates gonna get mad at me for saying the F word now?
Darkside Says:
Where are the Mystery Science Theater 3000 guys? Shouldn't they be on this movie?
Diggler Says:
poon goggles is a gayfish
CAPS LOCK HAL Says:
HARRY RUSSO, DAMN SON YOUR RIGHT. I'M NOT AS TOUGH AS THAT NASTY WHORE. I'VE ACTUALLY GOT NOTHING LEFT TO SAY AFTER THAT BECAUSE YOU ARE JUST SIMPLY CORRECT. I AM NOT HARD CUNT. I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW TO PUT YOU STUPID MOTHER FUCKERS IN YOUR PLACES ON THE NEWER TOPICS. OH YEAH, DID ANYONE SEE THE ROB BROWNING FIGHT TONIGHT ON SPIKE TV. THE KID COVERED UP LIKE A LITTLE GIRL, AND BASICALLY PUT UP NO FIGHT WHAT SO EVER. JUNIE IS A FUCKING BEAST COMPARED TO HIS BABY BROTHER ROB. MY GOODNESS THAT WAS SO FUCKING FUNNY. YEP, THAT ROB BROWNING REALLY IS A TRUE DIP SHIT. I'D LOVE TO SEE HIM FIGHT KALEB STARNES. ROB WOULD COVER UP, AND KALEB WOULD RUN CIRCLES AROUND HIM. ROB IF YOU BY CHANCE GET TO READ THIS, SON I THINK YOU SHOULD REALLY FIND ANOTHER WAY OF TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK BECAUSE YOU SIMPLY DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES. YOUR A COMPLETE DUMB ASS. GIVE UP BEFORE ITS TO LATE, AND WHILE YOUR STILL YOUNG. YOU REALLY ARE FUCKING PATHETIC YOU DUMB SON OF A BITCH. GOOD FUCKING NIGHT....
Dr. Says:
I like that in Tito's peta ad his PA jersey has the same font TUF used for their gear over many seasons. C'mon Tito... unless you're trying to be ironic.
Mac mac Says:
What happened to this site? I was gone a couple months and come back to "cap locks" and the like. Guess it's time to move on....
LukeTheDuke Says:
Your best stripper is a reanimated corpse, feeding off of your customers?
WTF... BEST MMA BARS IN AMERICA?
You forgot one.
Boner Says:
Man, where's mystery science theater 3000 when you need it?
TUF Guy Says:
If you guys want a bunch of free pens go to:
PenIsland.com
Sunylove23 Says:
Needless to say, she has very cute looking!! lots pretty chicks like her should be very famous on the tall dating site: ___Tallmingle.com___. Maybe she can join to attend the sexy session to attract tall guys!! at least, that's what my bros and i happen to know!!