Remember that awful movie starring the powerhouse acting duo of Jenna Jameson and Tito Ortiz? Sure you do, it’s called “Zombie Strippers!” and reading the plot synopsis alone is guaranteed to lower your IQ. But give Spike TV credit, they recognize when something is so terrible that it’s actually enjoyable (as if the fact that the movie has an exclamation point in its title isn’t a dead giveaway).
That’s why they’re premiering the movie this Sunday night, and making absolutely no bones about how horrible it is with this press release they sent out today:
New York, NY, April 15, 2009 – Described as a combination of "Citizen Kane" meets "The Godfather" meets "A River Runs Through It," Spike TV presents the world television premiere of the sweeping epic "Zombie Strippers!" on Sunday, April 19 (10:00pm-12:00am ET/PT).
Cinematic legend Jenna Jameson gives an Oscar-worthy portrayal of an angst-ridden exotic dancer in Nebraska who becomes infected with a deadly virus and morphs into a supernatural, flesh-eating zombie. In her tour-de-force performance, Dame Jameson spreads the virus to the unwitting customers at the strip club. Renowned thespian Robert Englund, famous for his critically-acclaimed role as Freddy Krueger of "The Nightmare on Elm Street" films co-stars in "Zombie Strippers!" Jameson’s real-life paramour, former UFC fighter Tito Ortiz, makes his eagerly-awaited big-screen debut as a bouncer.
"Zombie Strippers! is a movie that will air next Sunday at 10:00pm on Spike TV," triumphantly declares John Griffin, vice president of programming, Spike TV.
Nicely done, Spike TV. If only more of your non-MMA content was presented with the awareness that it actually sucks.
Not content with his “eagerly-awaited” acting debut, Tito is branching out even more in this PETA ad.
(Props to reader Bob for this find.)
It’s sadly ironic that the guy above the tagline “I choose to be in the ring,” has lately chosen not to, opting instead to make ridiculous contract demands and beef with other fighters outside the cage.
Jenna did her own PETA ad in the nude to encourage people to get their dogs and cats fixed. Someone should have explained to them that the racy, kind of naked for shock value genre really works better if the whole world hasn’t already seen so much of you that they feel like your reluctant gynecologist.