minimalist movie posters
21 Incredible Minimalist Movie Posters

Spooky Halloween News: War Machine Is Doing Porn

Well, this new development is appropriately terrifying for Halloween.  War Machine, the fighter formally known as Jon Koppenhaver, has decided to do away with any lingering shreds of dignity that might have been clinging to him without his knowledge, and has officially become a porn star.  The video above shows him receiving his first ass waxing to make his butt camera-ready, and while it probably wasn’t necessary for him to post that to YouTube he did perform a public service by letting all the kids out there know that life as a porn star isn’t all glamour and lube.  There’s actually some unsavory elements to it.  Who knew?

He says he shot his first scene with Riley Steele and described it as "fucking awesome," before explaining that he took the gig because fighting wasn’t paying the bills and he refuses to work for a living.  It’s like I’ve always said, when life gives you lemons, make a video of you having sex with those lemons and put it on the internet.

Related:
- War Machine: "F@ck an Obama"
- War Machine Arrested in Vegas
- War Machine Apologizes for Ridiculous Behavior

Cagepotato Comments

Showing 1-25 of comments

comments
Sort by : Show hidden comments
sandra- February 15, 2011 at 3:36 pm
5Nz9jo http://fhYj30Mxb55m1SpveOxt.com
PingPong- November 2, 2009 at 10:36 am
Now all he needs is a meth problem and he'll be on next seasons Intervention.
battleshape- November 2, 2009 at 6:48 am
Take solice in the fact that he's doing it with girls. Cuz if he's after the $$$ Im sure there are porn companies that would offer higher money for some gay fetish bjj porn...or maybe he will...I sure hope not.
WuTangClan- November 1, 2009 at 10:12 pm
Update the video Ben(s)

Stupid faggots
Wyatt- November 1, 2009 at 9:30 am
Can we just add him to the news ban list? Unless he drops dead there is nothing I would enjoy reading about him
waqqo- November 1, 2009 at 4:53 am
@ Neebleton > that's fuckin' hillarious brah!!!
the only thing that made me laugh 2day!!!
Left_Boob_Telligman- November 1, 2009 at 12:13 am
The hand grenade tattoo on his neck was apparently a metaphor all along. The imminent explosion...herpes
boggsnort- October 31, 2009 at 10:34 pm
I heard he is legally changing his name to "It hurts when I pee Machine"
Dana Mother Fcuking White- October 31, 2009 at 9:54 pm
@Goat

*golf clap*
Dana Mother Fcuking White- October 31, 2009 at 9:54 pm
@ Goat

Very nice, you sir, are a man of my own heart.
busted_cranium- October 31, 2009 at 8:05 pm
Nothing says "awesome" like sticking your cock in something with all the viscosity of a 30-year-old catcher's mit.
the glza- October 31, 2009 at 7:40 pm
i didn't get to see the video before it was removed -- he's doing gay porn, right?
Angled Dangle- October 31, 2009 at 5:34 pm
STUNT COCK
Angled Dangle- October 31, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Wait a minute... is the source credible? If it's War saying this, the term "pornstar" may be stretched.

You could be a "porn star" (used loosely, no pun, no homo) if:

- You happen to be really good with a mop
- You fluff like a Dyson
- You have a classic O-face

Even the sound guy could technically be a porn star, if he is the best at what he does with the audio / shit techno music.

My guess is that he's with the mop.
Scott_Whitt- October 31, 2009 at 5:06 pm
Why are you talking about War Machine? Look at how bad things are going for Riley Steele. She may as well be banging guys from the Stern Whack Pack.
Neebleton- October 31, 2009 at 4:58 pm
somewhere, in the distance, Mr. Miyagi shakes his head and wonders how someone could have misunderstood his directions so completely
BobWall- October 31, 2009 at 4:28 pm
Was it a gay porn? Cuz.....you know
TeamZipper- October 31, 2009 at 3:19 pm
Is this really news???? What is the sport coming to when you have nothing bettter to report on????
BeastUnleashed- October 31, 2009 at 3:09 pm
Someone reup the ass waxing.
DiazBros209- October 31, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Get Money
Get Paid

War Whore Machine
Shifty- October 31, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Kimbo can apply to be War Machine's body guard after this whole TUF thing if over, because lets face it, MMA isn't looking so hot for either one of them.
Lecter- October 31, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Those who can't fight, fuck.
NateGetsIrate- October 31, 2009 at 2:00 pm
Sooo... he gets paid to fight chumps. And now he gets paid to fuck really hot sluts.

All of a sudden Warmachine has replaced Obama as the man i look up to. Fuck an Obama, indeed.
itsyourboyerik- October 31, 2009 at 1:41 pm
@pingu

ghey secks is not the answer
Pingu- October 31, 2009 at 1:20 pm
I'm struggling to think of anything worse.

...Well, I suppose War Machine could come and fuck me, but that's about all I got.
CagePotatoMMA