MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Stephen Bonnar vs. Anderson Silva: Head-to-Head


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar

LAST TWO FIGHTS RESULTED IN
Bonnar: A pair of tedious but smartly gameplanned UD’s over Igor Pokrajac and Kyle Kingsbury
Silva: A pair of absolute clownings over Yushin Okami and Chael Sonnen
Advantage: Silva

FINISHING RATIO
Bonnar: 66.7% (10 stoppages in 15 victories)
Silva: 78.1% (25 stoppages in 32 victories)
Advantage: Silva

RECORD WHEN FIGHTING UP A WEIGHT CLASS
Bonnar: 0-1 (TKO loss to Lyoto Machida at HW in 2003)
Silva: 2-0 (both at LHW, both by way of first round KO)
Advantage: Silva by an ass-whooping

RECORD AGAINST FORMER UFC CHAMPIONS
Bonnar: 0-6
Silva: 5-0
Advantage: Silva by sweet Jesus, Bonnar’s a dead man

PERFORMANCE AGAINST JON JONES
Bonnar: Hard fought but completely one-sided UD loss
Silva: Would rather just stay friends
Advantage: Bonnar

FRIEND OF CAGEPOTATO 
Bonnar: You know it, son!
Silva: Won’t return our calls, filed for three separate restraining orders.
Advantage: Bonnar

SALARIES
Bonnar: $34,000 to show at UFC 139 (seriously, Dana?!)
Silva: $200,000 to show at UFC 148
Advantage: Silva by a Ferrari

GREATEST WAR
Bonnar: One half of the fight that basically pulled the UFC out of the dark ages at the TUF 1 Finale
Silva: Overcame four round deficit to submit Chael Sonnen in the fifth at UFC 117
Advantage: Bonnar by *picks up phone* You gotta see this fight bro!

POST FIGHT CELEBRATION
Bonnar:

Silva: It doesn’t matter. Bonnar clearly wins this round.

Conclusion: Well, well, would you look at that, this fight is actually going to be a lot closer than most of you predicted, with Bonnar actually emerging victorious on paper…

…Silva by first round KO.

-J. Jones

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knucklesamitch- October 12, 2012 at 7:09 am
@Pen I'll give you one reason ... Silva fights once a year, if Bisping and Weidman fight each other, you are already eliminating a contender given Silva even more reason to fight BS fights no one cares about. I'm not devoted to any fighter, I couldn't care less about any fighters legacy, I just want to see good fights where I know anything can happen. This idea that someone has to "deserve" to fight Silva or Bones Jones is insane ... If they are so great, they should be able to win the fight anyway, so why not fight Weidman ... Silva is the GOAT, should be an easy victory, right? Right? Seriously, right?
SirRaabHimself- October 11, 2012 at 6:12 pm
Bonnar, I seriously got bonnar winning. just a feeling.
Pen Fifteen- October 11, 2012 at 5:44 pm
The depths to which people are digging to ignore the fact that it's not a big deal for Weidman to wait is ridiculous. Yes, Silva was 3-2 his previous 5 fights coming into the UFC...counting a bullshit DQ loss to Okami. Outside of that, the dude had won 8 out of 9, and had 22 fights under his belt (versus Weidman's 8). Again, any which way you spin this (holeeball's point about star power is also well-taken), it is not as big a fucking deal as you guys are making this. Seriously, give me one reason Bisping and Weidman shouldn't duke it out for #1 status?
holeeball- October 11, 2012 at 4:36 pm
Also, nobody was anywhere near the the level SILVA is TODAY (referring to star power) as when Silva was a contender.
holeeball- October 11, 2012 at 4:28 pm
MMA hardcore fanbase is miniscule. That's why DANA WHITE WANTS TO BREAK INTO MAINSTREAM get it marathoner? SILVA is a superstar so fuck Weidman for the time being.
Or do we want MMA to be a sport without any fuckin icon? Or ever changing icons who nobody can keep up with except the harcore fanbase? If the latter than MMA is heading once again back into obscurity.
imnotgay- October 11, 2012 at 3:42 pm
i bet Anderson has white boy beat in the wiener departrment too
knucklesamitch- October 11, 2012 at 12:12 pm
@Pen ... I can think of 1 other person who had a ho hum run to the title ... His name is ANDERSON FUCKING SILVA ... 1 UFC fight. Silva was also 3-2 in his previous 5 fights coming into the UFC. I couldn't care less about Weidman, but the fact of the matter is he's the most clear cut contender, Silva was offered the fight and turned it down. Plain and simple, Silva is not willing to give up and coming talent the same opportunity that he himself received.
cman- October 11, 2012 at 11:35 am
As shirt is a bit of an exaggeration. Many are very tired of title pictures being on pause and paper interm titles. Injuries are bad enough but choosing to put the rare active weight class on pause to fight in others because they don't think the other is as profitable? No. The general consensus was the same when BJ was doing it. Munoz was next if he won, and bisping had a shot if he beat Sonnen. Declaring the guy who came out on top from the scramble unworthy doesn't make it so. And again, we have enough weight classes on pause for legitimate reasons.
Pen Fifteen- October 11, 2012 at 10:50 am
I can't believe people are this asshurt about Silva turning down the Weidman fight. He said no to it right now. As others have pointed out, Weidman would be even harder to ignore with a win over another contender, means we'll almost assuredly see that fight within 12 months. Hell, even Armfarmer pointed out that it'd probably be a more competitive fight 12 months from now, so why the impatience? Weidman has a whopping four UFC fights. Short of Brock Lesnar, no one has had more ho-hum path to a title shot, and he's done it without a single win over a big-name opponent. Please, spare us the moral rectitude about what a champion must do. We're not even close to this turning into some kind of long-running scenario of ducking. Silva will collect his payday against GSP and then Weidman will be next.
Walrus- October 11, 2012 at 9:37 am
White man reach advantage, baby.

That's always nice
cman- October 11, 2012 at 9:27 am
Well Carlos you can't overlook twitter Facebook and joes bait and tackle and guys beating the snot outta each other league fights.
This shits important.
Carlos Conned It- October 11, 2012 at 9:23 am
Right, I'm sorry we completely overlooked the fact that number of twitter followers is what makes a fighter deserving or a title shot... Our bad lol, Twitter followers > Fights. What has the MMA fanbase come to? Hahaha
Ballsagna- October 11, 2012 at 8:55 am
Clowings? Was Chael not in, arguably, the most dominant position in MMA for the majority of the fight? He lost fair and square, but he was not clowned.
cman- October 11, 2012 at 8:33 am
Dammit. Now I have to reference swamp bobbies mma and pickle eateries.
holeeball- October 11, 2012 at 8:30 am
Not only that, the good guy won as well (me).
cman- October 11, 2012 at 8:27 am
On this day in history a CP disagreement was resolved without name calling or obscure fighter reference or threat of violence.
holeeball- October 11, 2012 at 8:23 am
Right. Thank you.
cman- October 11, 2012 at 8:19 am
Exactly
holeeball- October 11, 2012 at 8:03 am
Franklin has 282k twitter dudes today.
I don't how many he had back then.
cman- October 11, 2012 at 7:49 am
Hole. How many twitter friends did silva have when he got a shot?
cman- October 11, 2012 at 7:47 am
And@ penn, ill admit I'm on the fence on the friends fighting issue. It's become a way to avoid and the kos/ Fitch model is the base where both whined they should be next unless they had to sort themselves. I halfway even sided with bones at first with shad until he went full douche about it.
In the end, champions fight whoever deserves it. I like Rory's approach to Gsp. Stated his time will come, doesn't think it's now. But has placed himself as a stone to get to # 1. Improves every fight.
But champions denying challenges is what killed boxing. Is a real killer appeared klitcko would never fight him. Mayweather is letting time beat PAC, cuz 3 years ago he couldn't. And that's unacceptable.
holeeball- October 11, 2012 at 7:46 am
Weidman has 25k twitter dudes. Silva has 2600k.
Silva isn't in the business of fighting nobodies anymore.
holeeball- October 11, 2012 at 7:43 am
Silva is the GOAT and Weidman is fuck all. At least Bonnar is that dude from that fight.
knucklesamitch- October 11, 2012 at 7:38 am
All the Silva apologists are hilarious ... Weidman is not a viable contender? Are you serious? Maybe he doesn't have the resume to support a title shot, but he's undoubtably the #1 contender unless you want to make him fight Bisping first. As for Anderson ... His opponents since Dan Henderson are Irvin, Cote, Leites, Griffin, Maia, Sonnen, Belfort, Okami, Sonnen ... Is some Silva fan going to seriously try and convince me that anyone of those guys is more deserving of a fight with Silva, based on chances of beating him (maybe outside of Belfort) than Weidman is. The fact of the matter is almost no one knew who Sonnen was, and those were 2 of the best fights Silva has had in the UFC.
cman- October 11, 2012 at 7:32 am
I don't rule out beating Munoz at all. He was supposed to fight Sonnen fort #1 status. Weismann killed him. And yes he is a dangerous combo of power and wrestling.
Bisping? Yahoo did a great article on why he is undeserving. Beats who he should, benifits from most decisions, and is 6-3 in his last 9 w/o a string of wins or impressive showings against contenders. Whose his biggest win? Stann? Akyama? Lost to a washed up Wandi ( questionable) Sonnen, Hendo. Beat riviera (controversy), hammil a billion years ago (didn't and different weight), and stann (again, on take downs?!?) where he was rocked.
Yeah I got Weidman as #1. Bonnar? Biggest slowest 205er without 1 punch power. Love the guy but he doesn't even have punchers chance. He won't be able to connect and doesn't have flash win power anyway.
Silva kills him and we rejoice on injury plague not taking another card.
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