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Story of the Day: Nick Ring Saves Teenage Couple From Savage Attack in Calgary

(Criminals beware: This man will eff you up.) 

Here at CP, we really hate to keep reiterating the same point over and over again, but in this case, we feel the need to make an exception. As you should all know by now, Nick Ring is pretty much the epitome of masculinity. When he’s not making sweet love to a woman bald eagle style, he is more than likely patrolling the Canadian countryside on a horse made of crystal, handing out life lessons to those he happens to pass by. Though they won’t admit it, it is a common understanding that the sons of Ring’s opponents wish that he was their dad. A fun fact about Ring: he once held an opponent’s wife’s hand in a jar of acid at a birthday party. So basically, if you ever find yourself within Ring’s crosshairs, it is already too late.

Unfortunately, a group of ten or so rambunctious Canadian teenagers had never read Lord of the (Promise) Rings before they decided to attack a couple in front of the Calgary native, and boy did they pay for it.

The Calgary Herald has the story:

Calgary’s own UFC fighter, Nick Ring, who had just finished a yoga session and went to Starbucks to get a coffee (Ed note: Like we said, dude’s a BAMF), saw an assault across the street and he wasn’t about to let it go.

Ring – a 33-year-old mixed martial arts fighter who is gearing up for UFC 149 in Calgary next month – was leaving the coffee shop at Mac leod Trail and 94th Avenue when he thought he saw a group of about 10 people beating up a couple to steal the girl’s backpack.

“I did not like what I saw and I wasn’t going to stand around and watch that happen. It was a crime and it was completely wrong,” said Ring.

“I’m not going to let anything like that happen if I’ve got anything to say about it. Not a chance.”

Ring described the scene as “like something out of a movie.”

He continued, “They were holding [the boyfriend] back and beating him up, as well. It was a really horrible thing to see.” According to the article, the girl was “getting her hair pulled and being kneed in the face” while this was occurring. And to think, all this came as a result of the female victim giving one of the female assailants “a dirty look.” Who knew that Canadians were capable of such lowly acts of mischief?

Anyway, after breaking things up, Ring and a bystander proceeded to chase down a couple of the assailants while calling the police, who managed to round up five or six more people. All of the assailants were between 15 and 17, so none of their names were released.

So there you have it. As has been proved many times before, MMA fighters are basically the superheroes of modern society, which explains why New York is still the cesspool of crime and injustice that it truly is. As Ring explained, it was only because of his extensive training/fighting background that he intervened in the first place:

It puts me in the position that I have the ability to help others when they need it. I was glad to be able to put my skills to use to help these people out.

I think that would be a scary position to be in if you’re witnessing that and feeling powerless. With all my training, I think I’m in a unique position to be able to handle myself against these kind of cowards.

A tip of the hat is in order, Mr. Ring, for your act of heroism. Those punks, on the other hand, should just be thankful that a certain Canadian welterweight champion wasn’t around at the time of the assault, because we all know how he feels about bullies, and we’d hate to see one of our sport’s greatest ambassadors maim an entire group of teenagers in broad view of a couple dozen people.

-J. Jones

Cagepotato Comments

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linzhancw- June 9, 2012 at 2:24 pm
ghostboner- June 9, 2012 at 12:25 pm
Mofo must be one old mofo to be dropping Bill Hicks bits. Mr. Ring should have called Jonathan Goulet for backup. That guy knows how to handle bidnizz.
BaghdadBob- June 9, 2012 at 7:25 am
Good for him. It's a hell of lot more than your typical CP commentator would do (which would be to assume Fetal Guard at the first sign of danger).
intercept440- June 8, 2012 at 2:03 pm
im surprised the headline didnt read "Nick Ring molests robbers whilst saving beating victims"
Mofo- June 8, 2012 at 2:02 pm
No-one knows what it's like, to be a dustbin... in Shrewsbury... with hooligans.
shatterproof- June 8, 2012 at 12:24 pm
was he wearing lulu lemon pants? those are hot.
El Famous Burrito- June 8, 2012 at 11:44 am
What are you, dense? Are you retarded? That's the goddamn Nick Ring, man!
Darkside- June 8, 2012 at 11:05 am
"Ok motherfucker, give me all your money and jewel....Oh shit, it's Nick Ring! Cheese it!!!" Talk about your unlikely scenarios...
amsterdamheavy- June 8, 2012 at 11:00 am
"Horse made of crystal" - Is that a Washington Washington reference, Danga?!
amsterdamheavy- June 8, 2012 at 11:08 am
It IS. Alright Danga, Ill overlook some of your more obvious fuck ups going forward. That is an epic and obscure reference. I tip my hat to you.
J. Jones- June 8, 2012 at 11:07 am
You're damn right it is.
Seraldo Babalu- June 8, 2012 at 10:56 am
and then jon jones jumped in and held down all 15 suspects while shooting his bruce wayne style emblem in the air so police would know where to find's also important to note that jon was singing "proud to be an american" while the incident was happening, which confused the canadians.
towelie- June 8, 2012 at 10:53 am
What a sthuper background for a Nick Ring photo.
Richard Fitzentite- June 8, 2012 at 10:46 am
As soon as those Hosers saw a man in Yoga Pants bounding towards them, they took off running faster than Kalib Starnes.
Ricardo Guitardo- June 8, 2012 at 10:41 am
Those manscarves can really sting when someone snaps one.
Anhonestmoose- June 8, 2012 at 10:39 am
Yeah, those kids are luck GSP wasn't around to lay on them for 25 minutes while they waited for the cops.
Anhonestmoose- June 8, 2012 at 10:40 am
Fried Taco- June 8, 2012 at 9:25 am
Did he actually beat anyone up? Or did he just snap them with his man scarf?