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‘Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg’ — Liveblogging for the Ladies

(“Hey, I’m Gina!”
“I am the one known as ‘Cyborg’.”
“Look, whatever happens tonight, I just want you to know that I have tons of respect for you, and I feel honored to be fighting you.”
“I want to kill you so bad, my dick’s hard.”
Photo courtesy of
this set on CombatLifestyle.)

So who wants to witness some history in the making? Tonight, the curse is lifted, and the most significant women’s MMA fight of all time will take place. (Before that, there will be some men’s MMA matches of varying importance.) Strikeforce: Carano vs. Cyborg results await you after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for round-by-round updates and occasional digressions. Warning: The Showtime broadcast is delayed on the west coast, so check your local listings, and if you’re not getting it live, maybe stay away from the comments section for a while, lest you be spoiled.

And we start with a little bad news: Strikeforce got a little spooked about the timing of the show, and relegated Jay Hieron vs. Jesse Taylor to the unaired portion of the card. Hieron def. Taylor via unanimous decision. (30-27 x 3)

And here we go. Damn, that intro is lookin’ tight on the ol’ flat-screen. It’s a new day in Strikeforce, and they have the production values to match. Gina and Cyborg are shown entering the arena. Carano looks a little nervous, but Cyborg is all smiles. Fedor Emelianenko‘s signing is plugged immediately by Mauro Ranallo. (Please, Mauro, no 25-centimeter pole remarks tonight.) Frank Shamrock has gel in his hair, and shine on his teeth. Mike Kyle stalks around the cage behind them. The stage, as they say, is set.

Fabricio Werdum vs. Mike Kyle
Ranallo says that in the past, Kyle has “allowed his emotions to overshadow his vast potential.” Translation: He likes to gouge eyes, kick groins, and bite chests. Some of the fans in the crowd know about this guy’s “emotions,” and boo him heartily. Veteran PRIDE referee Yuji Shimada is holding it down.

Round 1: Kyle immediately comes out swinging. Werdum lands a leg kick, and Kyle returns it. Kyle catches a kick and Werdum has to jump backwards to safety. But Kyle lands a shot that seems to wobble Werdum, and Werdum shoots. Kyle ends up on his back, but almost secures an armbar. Werdum wrenches out, and grabs a guillotine choke in the scramble. Kyle taps. Congrats, Fabricio — you’re now eligible to be raped by Fedor.

Werdum says “sorry for my English, but I love America. I love everybody for coming.” He says he’d fight Fedor or anybody else, then shouts out his mom.

Randy Couture‘s enormous cauliflower ear showed up for an interview, and brought Randy along with it. “She’s done the work, the hay’s in the barn” says Randy about Gina’s preparation.

Gilbert Melendez vs. Mitsuhiro Ishida (for Strikeforce interim lightweight championship)
Ranallo says you can forget about keeping up with the Kardashians, the Strikeforce lightweights have to worry about keeping up with the Japanese Energizer Bunny, Mitsuhiro Ishida. Dad, you’re embarassing us. Jake Shields is in Gilbert’s corner. Nick Diaz is nowhere to be seen, obviously.

Round 1: Ishida shoots, Melendez sprawls. Ishida throws the high kick off Melendez’s glove. Melendez lands a right. The crowd starts to boo some inactivity. Ishida shoots again, is stuffed, and eats a knee on the way up. Melendez lands a hook to the body. Melendez measures and throws a three-punch combo. Melendez dodges a kick and lands a right hook. Melendez lands a counter left-hook. The crowd gets antsy again. Ishida shoots for a single leg, and Melendez desperately tries to fight it off, but Ishida finally gets him down and transitions to Melendez’s back, almost getting the choke. Melendez reverses and lands on top of Ishida against the cage. Ishida grabs onto Melendez’s head and stalls. Melendez knees Ishida in the shin. There’s the bell. 10-9 Melendez.

Herschel Walker says he wants a shot in the Strikeforce cage. Cool?

Round 2: Melendez lands a right to the body. Melendez jabs. Ishida shoots for the single, Melendez sprawls, drags Ishida up and knees him in the gut. Melendez pushes Ishida against the cage. Melendez lands a elbow that drops Ishida, but the Endless Fighter pops right back up. Ranallo mentions Melendez’s “bitter beer face.” Melendez slips a punch from Ishida and nails him with one of his own. Melendez swarms Ishida against the cage with punches, and Ishida drops to a knee. Ishida is shooting blood from his scalp. Melendez has Ishida pinned against the cage, and drops knees to his body. Ishida gets up and swings some haymakers to back Melendez off. Melendez catches a kick from Ishida and tosses him down, and the round ends. Another 10-9 for Melendez.

Round 3: They trade jabs. Leg kick Melendez, and Ishida gives it back. And another. Ishida still looks fresh, but he can’t get much going offensively. Ishida shoots and his stuffed, Melendez pushes him back with punches, nails him with a knee to the body, and knocks him down with a punch. Melendez hops into Ishida’s guard, dropping punches and hammer-fists. Melendez takes Ishida’s back, looking for the rear-naked. Ishida defends, so Melendez starts throwing bombs into Ishida’s ears, as Ishida turtles, then goes limp. The fight is stopped. Revenge is sweet.
Gilbert Melendez def. Mitsuhiro Ishida via TKO, 3:56 of round 3.

Cris Cyborg says she’s ready for the five rounds; she used to fight three fives in Brazil and her cardio is not a problem.

Renato Sobral vs. Gegard Mousasi (for Strikeforce light-heavyweight championship)
According to the Showtime Skinless Animated Dummies, Gegard Mousasi’s key to victory is the straight armbar. But they also said that Melendez was going to beat Ishida by triangle choke, so what the fuck do they know. Babalu puts his hands up to wave to the crowd, and nearly has them blasted off by the pyrotechnics. He freezes in horror, then runs to the cage. Hey, Big John’s in the ring. Good times.

Round 1: They land simultaneous leg kicks. Sobral catches a body kick and clinches. Mousasi scores a takedown, pushes Sobral against the cage and throws down jackhammer-punches until Babalu’s spirit leaves his body. Gegard Mousasi is your new Strikeforce light-heavyweight champion of the world. And he made it look easy. Mousasi def. Sobral via TKO, 1:00 of round 1.

Ranallo kills my buzz by talking to some boxer. They couldn’t get Pacquiao?

We get a promo clip listing all the MMA champions that Fedor Emelianenko has wrecked. “Fedor: Coming Soon.” Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water…

Gina Carano vs. Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos
And we’re already at the main event. You see that, guys, you should have kept Hieron/Taylor on the card after all. Frank Shamrock says “it’s chin-check time for the ladies.” Cyborg is grooving during the vaseline rub-down, and smiles big in the cage. Carano’s mood, as in the beginning of the show, is much more somber. Randy Couture gives her a hug and a firm smack on the ass. The crowd roars as she enters the cage. Let’s get it. Cyborg is booed, unfortunately. Evangelista tries to drown it out with some “heeeeeeeeeey!”s. Josh Rosenthal will be the only man in the cage.

Round 1: Cyborg stalks forward and eats a jab. Cyborg blasts some punches and clinches. Carano takes her down, and Cyborg goes for a heel hook. She loses it, but moves to Carano’s back, throwing punches. Carano gets up and takes some heavy punches. Cyborg goes for the takedown, but Carano winds up on top, and lands some shots of her own. She gets out of Cyborg’s guard, and they clinch again. Carano with the straight right. Cyborg returns. Leg kick Cyborg. Cyborg catches a kick and clinches. Carano rolls out. Carano tries a superman punch and gets clocked on the way in. Cyborg with a leg kick. Cyborg clinches and pushes Gina down, but awkwardly lets her up. Cyborg backs Carano against the cage, punches, and clinches. Cyborg works some knees against the fence, then scores a takedown, landing in half-guard. Cyborg almost locks in the kimura; Carano twists out at the last second. Cyborg with heavy punches from the top. Rosenthal stops it exactly at the bell. It could be a controversy, but Gina isn’t protesting. She spends about 30 seconds on the ground before getting up.

Ranallo: “All hail the alpha female…it’s not Gina Carano, it’s Cristiane ‘Cyborg’ Santos.”

Cris Cyborg def. Gina Carano via TKO, 4:59 of round 1.

Gina pulls a Forrest Griffin and leaves the cage before the post-fight interview. Cyborg thanks Gina for the opportunity, and says she does everything for the fans. Time will tell if the fans will warm up to their new champion. It seems like half the crowd is cheering her, and the other half have already left the building.

Carano is backstage getting checked out by doctors. Ranallo mentions Tara LaRosa and Marloes Conan as possible challengers for Cyborg. And that’s pretty much it. We’re out in less than two hours, and that’s including all the boxing plugs. Exciting card; too bad there wasn’t more of it. Let us know how you feel, Potato Nation. Good night, and good luck.

Cagepotato Comments

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Markdog- August 16, 2009 at 4:59 pm
@ J Akuma

Fuck you pussy
The Truth- August 16, 2009 at 8:47 am
I have no interest in watching womens MMA. Tiny pool of fighters and winners directly related to hormone levels. Maybe grappling tournaments or something else.?
scumbag- August 16, 2009 at 8:40 am
it was cool how they did the strike and takedown stats on the screen. Dana will have to use that later this year when he buys strikeforce.
Gamecock- August 16, 2009 at 7:35 am
Gamecock- August 16, 2009 at 7:33 am
First off, that's not the first time I've been called a thinkheaded dick. Secondly, I was refering to the fact that this fight was so hyped up that I doubt it can be matched. These are the only two women fighters that most people have ever heard of and there is no way anyone can expect Carano to beat Cyborg ever. The only reason most people even watched was because Carano was pretty.

I will say that I'm not a fan of women's sports, but I don't hold it against them. That was just an ugly ass fight without much technique involved at all. If that's the best I can expect from women then I say "no thanks."
Gamecock- August 16, 2009 at 7:33 am
First off, that's not the first time I've been called a thinkheaded dick. Secondly, I was refering to the fact that this fight was so hyped up that I doubt it can be matched. These are the only two women fighters that most people have ever heard of and there is no way anyone can expect Carano to beat Cyborg ever. The only reason most people even watched because Carano was pretty.

I will say that I'm not a fan of women's sports, but I don't hold it against them. That was just an ugly ass fight without much technique involved at all. If that's the best I can expect from women then I say "no thanks."
J Akuma- August 16, 2009 at 6:29 am
@ Markdog

That was the single most hilarious post in the 80 comments for this liveblog! OMGLOLZ!

Naw, seriously, dumbass, in case you can't read your little joke has been run into the ground.

Next, Markdog will comment on how Brock Lesnar's chest tattoo looks like a penis. Man, a comic of this originality is a rare find indeed!
Markdog- August 16, 2009 at 1:11 am
Cyborg has a dick, it don't count!
Andersons Knees- August 16, 2009 at 1:09 am
Sponk- August 15, 2009 at 11:21 pm
Funny, how many guys are bashing Cyborg for pounding out their wet dream. Just face it, Chris is the better fighter and Gina showed some serious holes in here game.

Those transsexual comments are immature and show how many ppl dont really care about the sport, especially wmma.

I understand, that a lot of you guys would ve loved to see Gina pull out a win, but think about what she says regarding your stupid comments.

It wont hurt Strikeforce, that your beloved postergirl didnt succeed, they have a respectable champion now and good fighters like cyborg are what fighting is all about.

Who cares about their looks, besides some little guys, who jerk off to the weigh in vids on youtube ?

rockybalboa25- August 15, 2009 at 10:59 pm
Can anyone explain why Gina gave up the mount?

If Gina doesn't beat Cyborg in a rematch within a year, Strikeforce will be done in two years.
bradsucks- August 15, 2009 at 10:34 pm
Gina wasn't defending herself for the last 5-10 seconds, I think the stoppage was fair.

It was an exciting fight which I think is great for womens' MMA. It was a lot sloppier/amateurish than the top level male fights which hopefully will get ironed out as there are more decent female MMA competitors. Good show.
sheBeast- August 15, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Cyborg is just what WMMA needed. An athlete who will be taken seriously for the right reasons.
Gina is amazing but you could hardly see it around everyone's embarrassing boner for her.

Side note: so glad I don't have a dick that gets in the way of me enjoying a good fight....if you didn't enjoy that one, you weren't paying attention.
Bag Puncher- August 15, 2009 at 10:18 pm
Nah, I am never down to see people get seriously hurt, just wasn't sure how much damage one more second would have done. Round 2 could have played out different--we'll never know.
NECROPHYTE- August 15, 2009 at 10:10 pm
Ok fine, props where props are due.

Mousasi and Cyborg ftw.
Mike Milbury- August 15, 2009 at 10:03 pm
@UncleSamsMisgui: Fights aside, Strikeforce/Showtime has the lamest production ever. UFC shows are scaled back and they look a zillion times better than Strikeforce's production. Cheesy fire/pyro, Mauro, interviews with geeks, anything related to "Keys to the Fight", the Valium-induced ring announcer ("It'").
KillDozer- August 15, 2009 at 9:59 pm
cmon man, she does look like a dude.
KillDozer- August 15, 2009 at 9:58 pm
good, but short.
and btw Musasi is a fucking animal.
LockDown- August 15, 2009 at 9:50 pm
I think this thing about calling Cristiane a man is getting a little bit too far. She is not a douche, she does exciting fights, so why insulting her like that? I mean, maybe she could be annoyed by all that transexual bullshit.

I know you guys from CP always act like clown journalists but cmon, the girl didn't do anything bad to you or to the sport.
Jay Smith- August 15, 2009 at 9:49 pm
Aside from Bryant Gumbel Jr's Joe Rogan-esk, "We look forward to seein you..........down the road"(instead of in the future), it was a pretty decent card, and produced ok too. Gina's already over here with me at the house so, I gotta go. "Here I come baby!"
NECROPHYTE- August 15, 2009 at 9:39 pm
Like you didn't know that man was going to rape poor lil hott Gina. And I ain't talking bout Cris's sex slave Bill.
joemac1505- August 15, 2009 at 9:38 pm
1. Wow, Mousasi. I knew the guy was good but that was pretty much amazing.

2. Cyborg is frightening and I have no desire to ever watch women's MMA ever again. Not because Gina lost, just because it's not as good as men's MMA.
Dr Garbo- August 15, 2009 at 9:34 pm
3 out of 4 "tender moments" in the Cyborg-household end in TKO or DQs
J Akuma- August 15, 2009 at 9:31 pm
@ Bagpuncher

You'd rather see her get her head torn off in round 2 instead of the ref coming in and stopping the fight? Gina was done, the stoppage was excellent, regardless to the caliber of the fight.
J Akuma- August 15, 2009 at 9:28 pm
@ Gamecock

Yup, you're right.

Cyborg is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of Women's MMA. That was pretty deep of you to say.

Unless, of course, you were just being a thickheaded dick and implying that Cyborg killed the sport because she's not as pretty as Gina. Should that be the case, grow up.

Female athletes are athletes, too, dipshits. Wake up and stop living in the 1600's.