(“I’m not doing a fist pose.”)

Well, it’s time for another Strikeforce liveblog. I spent the last two hours on my roof in the pouring rain trying to get my satellite dish set up at my new house and I’m in no mood for witty banter, so let’s get to this biotch.

Do they actually take these text vote polls into account when matching up events?

Billy Evangelista vs. Jorge Masvidal
Round 1

Evangelista comes out the aggressor, but Masvidal steps aside out of harms way of his punches. Masvidal grabs Evangelista’s leg as a kick lands on his hip and dumps Evangelista on his back. Evangelista regains his feet and pins Gamebred to the cage. Masvidal circles out and connects witha combo and Evangelista decides to take the fight back to the canvas. Masvidal grabs an arm-in guillotine and Evangelista stands up and breaks the hold, trying for an arm triangle of his own. Masvidal shucks him off and eats a knee. Masvidal closes out the round with a handful of pinpoint jabs before Evangelista clinches.

Round 2

Both fighters come out swinging, but Masvidal connects first. In the clinch, Jorge grabs double underhooks and tries a wizzer as Evangelista tries to push him into the fence. Evangelista gets up almost immediately, but is met with a knee to the abdomen when he regains his feet. Evangelista connects with an inside leg kick , but eats a hook in return.  Masvidal’s stand-up is much better. He is picking Evbangelista apart. Masvidal changes levels and connects with the double leg and gets the take down. Evangelista scrambles and rolls and gets back to his feet. Masvidal seems like he’s toying with Billy, but not like he wants to finish.

Round 3

Masvidal seems to be the more tired fighter this round, but is still landing more punches, although nothing of note. Check that. Masvidal connects with the overhand right and continues to score with intermittent jabs. This fight is not at all exciting. I have a feeling these two might be Challengers-bound. The horn sounds to put us out of our misery. Jon Fitch Tweets: “These guys make me look like Clay Guida.”

Jorge Masvidal def. Billy Evangelista by unanimous decision (30-27 all)

Tim Kennedy vs. Melvin Manhoef

Round 1

Manhoef tries for the Anderson Silva-Steven Segal kick, but doesn’t connect, and Kennedy dives for a single.  Manhoef shrugs him off.  Kennedy throws a front kick that glances off Melvin’s chest, and shoots for another takedown and misses.  Manhoef grabs a leg kick, and counter punches with an overhand right.  Manhoef connects with a leg kick that drops Kennedy to the canvas.  Another one connects and Kennedy says “screw this” and shoots for another takedown.  This time he gets it and ends up in side control and passes to mount.  Manhoef gives up his back.  Kennedy rolls and flattens Melvin out on his belly and gets a warning for punches to the back of the head.  Kennedy sinks the rear-naked- choke, and Manhoef hesitates and taps.

Tim Kennedy def.  Melvin Manhoef by submission (rear-naked-choke) 3:41 R1

Strikeforce Women’s Welterweight Championship

Marloes Coenen vs. Liz Carmouche

Round 1

Coenen connects with a leg kick, and Carmouche returns the favour.  Carmouche circling away from Coenen’s power hand.  A head kick just misses, as Carmouche backs up.  Coenen lands a counter punch to Carmouche’s leg kick.  Another head kick whiffs Carmouche’s crown.  Coenen  backs Carmouche into the cage briefly with a combo, but Carmouche blocks.  Inside leg kick by Coenen.  Carmouche misses with an overhand right.  Coenen clinches, and Carmouche gets double underhooks and forces the champion into the cage.  Both women fighting for control against the fence.  A hematoma is forming under Coenen’s right eye.  Carmouche lands a handful of heel kicks to Coenen’s thighs, and Coenen answers with some foot stomps of her own.  Referee steps in and seperates the pair.  A handful of light punches are exchanged and Coenen backs up the challenger with a front kick to the solar plexus, and seconds later connects with an identical kick.

Round 2

A pair of leg kicks are exchanged, and the pair continue to feel each other out.  Carmouche connects with a cross and Coenen backs up into the cage.  Coenen reverses and clinches.  Carmouche drops for a takedown.  Coenen works and sinks a standing guillotine but Carmouche works out and bullies her to the canvas, landing in full guard.  Coenen works for an armbar, but Carmouche postures up and drops a pair of bombs on the Coenen’s face.  Carmouche passes to half guard and immediately begins punnishing Coenen’s shoulder with vicious knees.  Coenen tries to roll out, but can’t complete the sweep.  Coenen rolls for a leg, but Carmouche passes to full mount and begins punishing Coenen.  Coenen is flailing with her hands over her face, trying to buck up, but is taking punishment.  Coenen can’t get out from under the Gorilla and spends the last 20 seconds of the round absorbing shots to her forearms and head as she tries to block.

Round 3

Both fighters come out seeming tired.  Coenen throws a front kick, and Carmouche tries for a takedown, but is thwarted.  Carmouche works Coenen into the cage and Coenen turns out and connects with an elbow to the cheek.  Carmouche takes control, pushing the champion to the fence, and again Coenen shrugs her off and connects with an elbow from the outside.  Coenen is scoring with knees to the midsection against the fence, and Carmouche is clinching and finally gets the trip takedown.  Coenen is pinned against the cage as Carmouche easily passes to full mount.  Coenen finds herself back in the same position as she was at the end of the last round, and she can’t seem to get out from under the weight of Carmouche.  The strikes don’t seem to be hurting Coenen, but Carmouche is scoring over and over, no matter how slight the shots are.  Coenen keeps trying to bridge and lock her legs around Carmouche, but Carmouche is shrugging her off as she continues to ground and pound from the mount.  Carmouche’s punches are pitter-pat, like she’s playing the bongos.  She might gas out, but her weight on top of Coenen can’t be doing Marloes any favors cardio-wise.

Round 4

Coenen needs to get desperate here.  She scores with the takedown, but is stifled by Carmouche’s rubber guard.  Carmouche rolls up and tries for a double leg, but Coenen pulls guard.  She locks in a triangle; it’s tight, and Carmouche taps.

Marloes Coenen def. Liz Carmouche by submission (triangle choke)  1:29 R4

Strikeforce Light Heavyweight Championship
Rafael “Feijao” Cavalcante vs. Dan Henderson

Round 1

Feijao lands a leg kick, but Hendo seems unfazed.  Henderson’s loading up that right hand, looking to Bisping Feijao.  Henderson connects with the right hand, and Feijao does the same, knocking the former PRIDE champ on his ass.  Henderson scoops him up and dumps him on his back from his knees, and works from full guard.  Henderson is trying to shake away the cobwebs and get his wits about him.  The referee, Dan Miragliotta warns them that he’s going to stand them up, and eventually he does.  Henderson backs Feijao into the cage and immediately clinches to avoid giving him enough distance to throw the big right.  They exchange knees, and Feijao barely misses with an elbow.  Henderson keeps Feijao’s back against the cage, but the stalling prompts another break by Miragliotta.

Round 2

Henderson throws an uncharacteristic leg kick and follows up with a body shot and a handful of jabs that force the champion to retreat.  Feijao tries for a takedown now, but Henderson shucks him off and pins him once again into the cage.  Feijao seems tired, which is probably what Henderson’s game plan is – to wear him out and beat him in the later rounds.  Feijao tries for the takedown but Henderson won’t relinquish the clinch.  The former Olympian reverses and demonstrates his wrestling prowess as he ends up on top as the fight hits the floor.  Henderson works from side control, but Feijao rolls and reverses with an ankle pick.  Feijao is in full guard.  Henderson clinches and elicits another stand-up.  Feijao whiffs a head kick and just misses with a right-left combo.  Henderson tags him with a Superman punch, and then another.  From clinch to trip takedown, Henderson ends up in half guard.  Rafael holds on for dear life and ends the round.

Round 3

Feijao connects first with a leg kick, and Henderson counters with a right.  Two seconds later he connects with an uppercut, but Feijao seems unfazed.  Henderson connects with a right, spins Feijao around on his belly as he hits the canvas, and Henderson follows up with a handful of finishing rights.  Henderson wins and the Strikeforce light heavyweight title has now changed hands for the fifth time in as many bouts.

Dan Henderson def. Rafael Feijao by knockout  0:50 R3 and becomes the new Strikeforce light heavyweight champion

Well, it looks like the wheelbarrow full of cash that Scott Coker used to lure Hendo away from the UFC is finally paying dividends after a rocky start in his fight against Jake Shields.  The fact that this is his second title shot in his third Strikeforce fight is a pretty good indicator that they wanted him to hold one of their belts.

It’s only midnight.  Go enjoy your Sunday morning, Potato Nation.