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Stupid Training Equipment of the Day: Dan Henderson’s Jam Gym


(They be like Hendo…what…can you teach me how to Biz Bang?)

Last week, we took a look at snake-oil salesman Chael Sonnen pitching the Nexersys, which sort of looked like a high-tech version of the Bas Rutten Body Action System. By comparison, the Jam Gym is just a rubber band you hang over your door, brought to you by Dan Henderson, a man who will pretty much endorse anything. It doesn’t matter what kind of fancy names they invented for these exercises — THE SKULL CRUSHER! THE DEATH DROP! THE HEAD-BANGER! THE BIZ BANG? — we’ve seen this same exact piece of crap before. Even the talents of genius pitchman Henderson can’t save this dog. (“Are you ready? Are you tough enough to get in the ring with me? Come oan.”)

As with most exercise equipment ads, this video is loaded with unrealistic images — from the impossibly fit models who didn’t actually get their bodies through Jam Gymming, to the steel-reinforced door sitting in the middle of a warehouse — with one exception. Pay attention at the 0:18-0:19 second mark and you’ll see a dude in a bedroom that features a dart-board next to a mini-basketball hoop next to a sword on the wall, with a “Dead End” sign on the door. Yeah, that’s about right. Even creepy man-child loners can rock the Jam Gym. And that blonde cutie at the very end? Oh yeah. She definitely hangs it and bangs it, you guys.

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The12ozCurls- July 3, 2012 at 11:35 pm
I am going to purchase this awesome piece of "training" equiptment just so I can sue their asses off after the JAM GYM flies offfffff my hinge and knocks all my teeth out. I will get some great fake chicklets and all the $pecial benefits of pain and suffering.
Mr_Misanthropy- July 2, 2012 at 11:55 pm
I totally want to fly but I'm scared the ring of fire will singe the carpet in my living room.
amsterdamheavy- July 2, 2012 at 9:04 pm
TRX ripoff
tjbaron- July 2, 2012 at 7:07 pm
I though the Biz Bang required you to lay on your back as you get punched by a flying Dan Henderson. Oh, I'm sorry, that's the "Bisping".
djp1988- July 2, 2012 at 5:14 pm
The guy with the ultimate 13 year old's dream room was going to buy some sweet throwing stars, but the allure of the BIZ-BANG was all enompassing.
Ani703- July 2, 2012 at 10:17 am
Does it come with testosterone injections or do you have to buy that separately?
Alan K- July 2, 2012 at 10:05 am
You don't want that girl at the end of the video. She's probably been Biz Banged.
Xanderschultz- July 2, 2012 at 9:20 am
Anyone else think 1:52 is Junior Seau? Junior was from the same general area as Hendo.....
The12ozCurls- July 3, 2012 at 11:38 pm
Wrong tats - Not Seau. But I am pretty sure that guy has brain damage too.
SethF- July 2, 2012 at 9:31 am
Junior died earlier this year...so maybe.
koushikahmed14- July 2, 2012 at 9:15 am
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Viva Hate- July 2, 2012 at 8:51 am
Ya but the pitch line is pretty catchy, “All you need is the Jam Gym and some TRT to look like me!”
XENOPHON- July 2, 2012 at 8:10 am
What about that flying move....anyone want to take a guess at how much Hendo eventually rakes in from this UFC - Ultimate Fitness Company?
Fried Taco- July 2, 2012 at 8:10 am
It was only $29.95 + s/h I thought it was a good deal...
Enricho Palazzo- July 2, 2012 at 7:16 am
The Biz Bang -- Oh to see Bisping's face when he sees that commercial.
raton- July 2, 2012 at 6:53 am
Funny shit. Good write.
J.Jones- July 2, 2012 at 6:35 am
If the Biz Bang will train me to recreate Hendo/Bisping on my friends and enemies then my money is already in the mail.
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