(The first round of the fight, and nearly the last chapter in these two guys’ character arcs. All vids from: YouTube/ZombieProphetMMA)

For the first minute, 10 seconds or so Tim Sylvia and Paul Buentello actually have a decent little fight going at Powerhouse World Promotions’ War on the Mainland show from Saturday night. After that it’s pretty much a clinch-fest, with Sylvia leaning his 274-pounds on Buentello in the corner so relentlessly he’s able to draw five separate restarts from referee Big John McCarthy in just under two full rounds. While still looking as awkward as ever on the feet, Sylvia at least mixes some good punching combination with a few kicks and knees when the two fighters exchange at range. Buentello lands a couple of shots too, but for the most part appears overwhelmed by Sylvia’s size.

Round two is after the jump. Also, just in case you weren’t feeling melancholy enough on this Sunday morning, Jens Pulver’s sad, sad loss to Diego Garijo from the same event is there as well …

The PWP broadcast features a pretty bored-sounding Bas Rutten on color commentary and a play-by-play announcer who at one point asserts, “There’s that ground game he’s been working on!” while Sylvia and Buentello are both still clearly standing.  For those of you scoring at home, Sylvia has now won three straight since he capped a disastrous trio of losses by getting KOed by Ray Mercer last June, though this is his first win over a halfway relevant heavyweight since 2007. And we use the term “relevant” in the loosest possible way to describe Buentello, who is now 3-4 during that same stretch.

The second frame looks much the same as the first, with Sylvia smothering Buentello against the ropes except for a few brief spurts of action. Inside the last minute, the former UFC heavyweight champion peppers “The Headhunter’s” legs with kicks before Buentello succumbs to the classic, half-hearted “I’ve had enough of this shit” knockout loss.

Pulver, bless his heart, and Garijo do a better job of trying to entertain the fans with a fast and furious start to their bout … right up to the point where the fighter nicknamed “Two Pistols” — which we assume is just a happy accident — drops Pulver with a left after about 45 seconds. After that, it’s a fairly simple matter of hooking up a guillotine choke. Once he locks it in, check out Garijo either grimacing with effort or smiling his ass off until Pulver taps.

That would be Lil’ Evil’s sixth loss in a row and his eighth during his last nine fights. If you were contemplating writing a heartfelt personal letter telling Jens how much you admire and respect him, while politely but firmly encouraging him to never fight again, now would be the time.