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Sylvia Smothers Buentello, Pulver Drops Sixth Straight at ‘War on the Mainland’

(The first round of the fight, and nearly the last chapter in these two guys’ character arcs. All vids from: YouTube/ZombieProphetMMA)

For the first minute, 10 seconds or so Tim Sylvia and Paul Buentello actually have a decent little fight going at Powerhouse World Promotions’ War on the Mainland show from Saturday night. After that it’s pretty much a clinch-fest, with Sylvia leaning his 274-pounds on Buentello in the corner so relentlessly he’s able to draw five separate restarts from referee Big John McCarthy in just under two full rounds. While still looking as awkward as ever on the feet, Sylvia at least mixes some good punching combination with a few kicks and knees when the two fighters exchange at range. Buentello lands a couple of shots too, but for the most part appears overwhelmed by Sylvia’s size.

Round two is after the jump. Also, just in case you weren’t feeling melancholy enough on this Sunday morning, Jens Pulver’s sad, sad loss to Diego Garijo from the same event is there as well …

The PWP broadcast features a pretty bored-sounding Bas Rutten on color commentary and a play-by-play announcer who at one point asserts, “There’s that ground game he’s been working on!” while Sylvia and Buentello are both still clearly standing.  For those of you scoring at home, Sylvia has now won three straight since he capped a disastrous trio of losses by getting KOed by Ray Mercer last June, though this is his first win over a halfway relevant heavyweight since 2007. And we use the term “relevant” in the loosest possible way to describe Buentello, who is now 3-4 during that same stretch.

The second frame looks much the same as the first, with Sylvia smothering Buentello against the ropes except for a few brief spurts of action. Inside the last minute, the former UFC heavyweight champion peppers “The Headhunter’s” legs with kicks before Buentello succumbs to the classic, half-hearted “I’ve had enough of this shit” knockout loss.

Pulver, bless his heart, and Garijo do a better job of trying to entertain the fans with a fast and furious start to their bout … right up to the point where the fighter nicknamed “Two Pistols” — which we assume is just a happy accident — drops Pulver with a left after about 45 seconds. After that, it’s a fairly simple matter of hooking up a guillotine choke. Once he locks it in, check out Garijo either grimacing with effort or smiling his ass off until Pulver taps.

That would be Lil’ Evil’s sixth loss in a row and his eighth during his last nine fights. If you were contemplating writing a heartfelt personal letter telling Jens how much you admire and respect him, while politely but firmly encouraging him to never fight again, now would be the time.

Cagepotato Comments

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agentsmith- August 16, 2010 at 9:09 am
Poor little bugger.
Goat- August 16, 2010 at 12:59 am
Dear Jens,

Stop making me sad.

Almost North- August 15, 2010 at 6:38 pm
Tim Sylvia could probably eat Kobayashi in two bites if he had a glass of water for dunking.
fatbellyfrank- August 15, 2010 at 5:35 pm
^ I'm still tryin to get my head around the fact that there are organisations who think these two are worth payin to fight. I'd watch em in a hot dog eating contest, and they both better be fully clothed, but thats about it
Mr_Misanthropy- August 15, 2010 at 4:55 pm
The Sylvia- Buentello affair was like watching two fat, drunken, angry circus midgets on stilts trying to determine who gets to drive the clown car through the flaming hoop of fire. They were wobbling around so much I nearly got seasick. They might as well have been fighting on a garbage barge off the Jersey Shore, I swear I heard some starving seagulls fighting over a rotten fish carcass somewhere in the background.

Jens Pulver is unfortunately turning into the welcome mat that prospects wipe their feet off on before they get into the ring to fight other competitors.
fatbellyfrank- August 15, 2010 at 4:38 pm
Actually to be the man, I beleive you have to satisfy the following criteria, you must be a Limousine ridin, jet flyin, wheeler dealin, kiss stealin, stylin and high profilin son of a gun Woooooooooooooooooooooooooo,

And yeah, I still loves me some Nature Boy, a true entertainer
fatbellyfrank- August 15, 2010 at 4:31 pm
To be the man, you've gotta talk like Rick Flair Wooooooooooooooooooooo, you even have to do the stupid lisp, and yeah Bret Hart still holds the Best there is is best there was and best there ever will be Championship of um, the World I suppose, definitely Calgary.

And Missy Pee Pee, I want in with your organisation, we could hold a "Masters Of the Universe Tournament". The winner is awarded the mineral rights for Jupiter, however, be careful here, I hear the Klingons have some awesome muthafucking fighters.

Can someone in MMA give Jens a job, please, I'm pretty sure he'd be a fucken good employee, and give him something relevant, hes always had the heart of a warrior.
ghostboner- August 15, 2010 at 3:18 pm
To be the man you gotta beat a woman. And escape Roger Huerta.

Poor Jens. Love that fella. Just wish he would get a few wins and retire on a high note. And that Leites fight was crazy shit. Remember when Dana was earnestly telling us how he was a huge threat to Silva's title?
DangadaDang- August 15, 2010 at 3:09 pm
Cro Cop in for Nog v Mir!!! Time to eat the feet of defeat Mir !!!! Whooo Daddy!!
cecils_pupils- August 15, 2010 at 3:04 pm
@RwilsonR - agreed. When I saw that Jens was actually gonna train with BJ I was shocked. Proof, though, that the future is always a mystery. I thought these two would begrudge eachother to the grave. And how wrong I was.
Almost North- August 15, 2010 at 2:29 pm
I think we need a CP article to ban man smelling.
dranokills- August 15, 2010 at 2:23 pm
To be the man you have to smell like the man....
ReX13- August 15, 2010 at 1:24 pm
DangaDang >> It seems like it takes a couple of months to make it through Fight! subscription department, but then you'll get 'em a good week before the news stands do.
ReX13- August 15, 2010 at 1:21 pm
Almost North>> Doesn't Bret Hart still have that title? Cause i think to be the man, you have to

uh, wait a second, i remember this

to be the man, to have

you gotta

uh to

to be the man, you have to dress like a man.

**GW Bush grin**
DangadaDang- August 15, 2010 at 1:17 pm
Oh, and CP, where are my freaking magazines? I am missing out on critical, need to know insider information such as where BJ goes tanning and what Frankie Edgar's First Date Do's and Dont's are.
DangadaDang- August 15, 2010 at 1:16 pm
Oh, and @Angry Whopper

You forgot the fact that we are America, which gives us the right to do whatever we want. North America IS the world!!! AND DON"T MAKE THE MACHO MAN BREAK OPEN A CAN OF.......

......sorry about that. Happens everytime
DangadaDang- August 15, 2010 at 1:13 pm
I keep having the strangest feeling that Paul Buentello is employed by Brick Top
Almost North- August 15, 2010 at 12:51 pm
Innnnnnnn thissssss coorner, the light heavyweight chaaaaaaampion of all that is, was, and ever will be.
SSTT- August 15, 2010 at 12:18 pm
I think Pulver knows he's done. But that doesn't change the fact that he still needs to pay the bills, the only way he knows how to.
Mr_Misanthropy- August 15, 2010 at 12:10 pm
My C-list MMA promotion is going to establish champions of the universe at its first event. We considered calling them champions of the galaxy, but it just didn't seem quite superlative enough.
pinkyslayer- August 15, 2010 at 11:59 am
Thanks for keeping it relevant, Angry Whopper.
RwilsonR- August 15, 2010 at 11:06 am
@ cecils

I always felt exactly the same way about Pulver. But I think when we saw that video of him all buddy-buddy with BJ, we knew times had changed, and it really was over for him.

Sad to see you go Jens. I was even looking forward to you harassing BJ in retirement, but I guess that won't be happening.
Angry Whopper- August 15, 2010 at 10:24 am
Jens has been done for years, but is still in denial.

Something new: I support the fact that the UFC is the premier MMA organization in the world. Anyone who doubts that has been living in a barn for the last eleven years.

Here's my problem: all these Goddamn World Championships going on everywhere. The World Series, for example. At most it't the North America series, but they call it the World Series.

Same thing applies to all the boxing promos out there. Every champion is the fuckin' world champion. So there all kinds of world champions in the USA alone. Euro champs don't call them World Champs, and Asian champions don't call themselves World Champions.

Point is, an American or North American champion(ship) is not a World Champion(ship.)
Almost North- August 15, 2010 at 9:49 am
That was some sad shit, either Buentello has Chuck chin syndrome (CCS) or he took a dive.
cecils_pupils- August 15, 2010 at 9:46 am
i've always like Jens Pulver, not only for his heart and longevity in the sport, but especially for his (past) unique ability to piss-off BJ Penn. Times change, people change. You get older, you hang it up.

It is truly sad to see a legend in the sport not know when to call it a done deal.