The Expendables

(Props: ComingSoon.net)

As "Rampage" Jackson ponders a film career at the expense of a fighting one, he may want to take a look at Randy Couture's recent work in "The Expendables."  Granted, this is just the trailer, but Couture has all of one line in it (no action movie is complete without someone uttering, "We've got company"), and he doesn't even get called out at the end with the rest of the crew.  Think of it as a glimpse into your future, 'Page.  The MMA world may think of you as a star, but to the general movie-going audience you're just another dude who works cheap and can act well enough in short bursts.

Other than that, thoughts on the trailer?  Sure, it looks formulaic and incredibly derivative, but part of the appeal of an action movie like this is that you know exactly what you're going to get.  I swear, though, if I go see this thing and Jet Li gets to hack his way through more lines than Couture (who plays a character named "Toll Road"), I'm going to be seriously disappointed.

Watch Cage Fashion Show at Mix with Randy Couture on RawVegas.tv

RawVegas.tv sent Arianny Celeste to some weirdo MMA fashion show (I’m sorry, was that one dude wearing no shirt and a backpack?  How is that MMA related?) where she talked to Randy Couture about rumors that he may face Mirko “Cro Cop” Filipovic at UFC 99 in Germany.  Despite Fighters Only reporting that Couture flat out isn’t interested, he tells Arianny it’s a “possibility” if he gets done shooting “The Expendables” in time to get a full camp in.  Now that’s…disappointing.  As awesomely clichéd an action movie as that promises to be, isn’t Couture still a fighter?  And as such, shouldn’t fighting be his priority now that time is running out on his career?

The fighter formerly known as Jon Koppenhaver stopped by Steve Cofield’s radio show to discuss his legal troubles, and insists that these instances of assault were all misunderstandings.  You see, he's actually the victim.  Wouldn't be no trouble if people would stop forcing him to hurt them.  Interesting explanations.  Now what about those MySpace posts?

After the jump, “MMA Live” previews UFC 95.

Damn, is it Friday already? Well, you know what time it is. (No, not peanut butter jelly time.) It's time to give away some t-shirts to some of our LOLiest commenters. This week's winners:

Dangada Dang on "Michael Bisping Voted the Coolest Bloke in the U.K.":
Bisping makes a good point as the last person to get him on the ground was Abu Dhabi world champion Chris Leben.

Old, Bald and Irish on "No Ortiz Announcement at Today's Presser":
All this "Affliction: DEATHWATCH (TM)" is making me nuts. Ya know when you see something horrible happen, like a car crash, and everything is in slow motion? That's what following Affliction is like. Except, you've already seen the crash and you can't peel your eyes away from the slo-mo sight of the mangled girls body ejecting through the front windshield as her $95 Affliction t-shirt gets sheared away from her skinless naked body as it sloooooowly rips on the broken glass while her pulverized bloody carcass gets forcefully expelled from the flaming vehicle.

Kinda like that...

...except Fedor is standing there on a street corner witnessing the whole thing with an emotionless expression on his face and an ice cream cone in each hand.
[Ed. note: Suck on that, Kadumel!]

milo bling on "Randy Couture Joins Cast of Stallone's 'The Expendables'":
if someone invited me to see this, i wouldn't show up. but i guess it wouldn't really matter.
[Ed. note: You had to be there.]

If you've been shouted out, please send your name, address, and size to feedback@cagepotato.com to claim your CagePotato Hall of Fame t-shirt. Fuuuuuuuun!

(I blame you for this, Samuel L. Jackson hat.)

All that waiting just to see Randy Couture in the Octagon again, and now after one fight he looks to be headed back to the glorious world of film, where people only pretend to punch you in the face. 

Sylvester Stallone has revealed that Couture will appear in his upcoming movie “The Expendables,” which begins filming this March in Brazil.  The film – a charming little tale about a group of mercenaries who must infiltrate a South American country to overthrow an evil dictator – was written by Stallone and will also be directed by him.

Couture joins an all-star action movie cast that includes Dolph Lundgren, Jet Lei, Jason Statham, and even…wait for it…Forrest Whitaker.  Ghost Dog, son!  How could this not be good?  

If the name of the movie seems familiar in a Stallone context, that’s probably because you’ve seen “Rambo: First Blood Part II,” in which the titular character explains to his improbably attractive Vietnamese friend what the word expendable means: “It’s like someone invites you to a party and you don’t show up?  It doesn’t really matter.”

Sly wrote that script too, so just imagine what’s in store for us when “The Expendables” finally hits screens in 2010.