(Man, the Jack Links people are gonna be pissed when they realize their mascot is jumping ship for Subway.) 

Alright, so we all know that Daniel Cormier is fat. And, of course, we all also know that fat people are what Roy Nelson eats for his three squares each day. Preferably after they’ve been dipped in a vat of sausage gravy and deep fried.

The guy’s big.

As such, fans and fighters alike have often wondered aloud if the two would be better suited at a lighter weight class – say, light heavyweight. However, both guys continue to kick ass at heavyweight, which kinda makes it hard to say that they should feel a sense of urgency to drop a weight class (except, you know, so as not to die in ten years from a heart attack, Roy).

Nelson is coming off a knockout of professional Greek Statue Model, Cheick Kongo, and Cormier just dominated his second former UFC heavyweight champion. There has been talk of the two facing each other next. But there’s also been talk, mainly from Dana White, that Cormier could get an automatic shot at champion Jon Jones should he choose to drop down to 205lbs.

At first, it seemed liked both Nelson and Cormier were down to face one another, but then “Big Country’s” manager made him look like a chicken – a succulent, golden-fried chicken — by nixing the proposed matchup. Fortunately, Nelson spoke with Bloody Elbow recently and cleared things up once and for all. We guess.

As far Daniel [Cormier], I think the reason Mike, my manager, said anything about Daniel is because he’s supposed be getting an immediate title shot at 205. If he’s going down to 205, it doesn’t really make any sense to fight him, unless we’re going to fight for a 205 contendership. Then hey, we can do that, too. 

(Lyoto sees that you see what he did there, and will not let it affect his afternoon beverage of choice.) 

Whenever one of my boxer-pilates-yogacise students approach me about dropping my bi-weekly class at the Y because it is “too intense” or “too racist” or “makes no Goddamn sense,” my answer is always the same: “Give it a fortnight, young grasshopper, then decide. Also, can I borrow some bus fare?” Because a lot can change in a couple weeks, simply put, and I wouldn’t want any of my students saying something they regretted and earning an eternal enemy in the process.

At the bare minimum, it’s a philosophy that former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida can appreciate. Because roughly two weeks ago, “The Dragon” stated through his management that it “didn’t make sense” for him to fight the #2-ranked contender Alexander Gustafsson despite being called out by him, what with a guaranteed rematch with Jon Jones looming on the horizon and all.

Unfortunately for Machida, Jones is going to spend the next 6 months recovering from the toecapitation he suffered against Chael Sonnen last weekend, and has stated that he would prefer to face Gustafsson when he returns from his layoff. And wouldn’t you know it, Machida has suddenly changed his tune on the whole Gustafsson issue, but only because Jones is injured, we assure you.

A video of Machida’s post-being-called-out callout of Gustafsson is after the jump. 

(“Don’t worry, Leonard, if this doesn’t fix your aching back, it will probably just break it.” Photo courtesy of Getty Images.)

Two featherweights who have long since punched their tickets to a title shot are set to face off at UFC 162. Of course, now that Jose Aldo is fighting #1 lightweight contender Anthony Pettis and receiving a lightweight title shot if he is successful, we should probably assume that both the winner and loser of this fight will be sitting in title shot purgatory for at least a few months. So hooray for that.

That being the case, we should still prepare for one epic clash when top featherweight contenders Chan Sung Jung and Ricardo Lamas meet at UFC 162, which transpires at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas on July 6th.

We haven’t seen Jung in action since he submitted fellow top contender Dustin Poirier in a Fight of the Night, Submission of the Night, and Fight of the Year-earning performance back at UFC on FUEL 3 last May, as he was forced to undergo shoulder surgery shortly thereafter. Lamas, on the other hand, has been picking off contenders ever since entering the UFC. With victories over Cub Swanson, Hatsu Hioki, and most recently one-time title hopeful Erik Koch at UFC on Fox 6, it would be almost impossible to claim that Lamas hasn’t earned his shot should he best the South Korean.

Who do you like for this one, Potato Nation?

After the jump: Some highlights from Jung and Poirier’s FOTY scrap, as well as Lamas’ destruction of Koch.

(“Thank you for this honor, Bader-san. I will now honor your ancestors by getting drunk on a boat and attending a foam party.” Photo via Tracy Lee/Yahoo! Sports)

The UFC’s spite-booking between light-heavyweight contenders Dan Henderson and Lyoto Machida is close to being finalized. Sources close to the event have informed MMA Fighting that Hendo and Pervo have verbally agreed to meet at UFC 157, which will go down February 23rd at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California. The bout isn’t expected to be the card’s main event, which is still TBA at this point. Not that we wouldn’t want to speculate.

Due to a poorly-timed knee injury, Henderson has gone all of 2012 without a single Octagon appearance — not an ideal situation for a 42-year-old athlete, but at least the layoff has given him time to enroll in shit-talking school — while Machida is coming off his August knockout of Ryan Bader. The winner will likely take on Jon Jones, after he champ finishes thrashing Chael Sonnen in April. (No, I’m still not going to give Sonnen a chance, no matter how many insulting specialty pizzas he creates.)