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Tag: Fedor Emelianenko

Fedor Emelianenko Is Unretiring!! Fedor is Unretiring!!! FEDOR IS UNRETIRING!!!!!!


(Yes. Goddammit, yes. The sweater. The emotionless gaze. Yes to all of this.)

If the syntax and or/grammar of this post feels a little more wonky than normal, it’s only because I’m trying to shake off the effects of a seizure I suffered this morning upon reading that FEDOR F*CKING EMELIANENKO IS COMING OUT OF RETIREMENT. FOR REALSIES.

Fedor’s full statement, followed by a series of celebratory gifs, is after the jump. 

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“The Last Hemperor” Caption Contest: And The Winner Is…


(“Can we hurry this up? I’m on my way to the scene of Aleks’ latest crime against humanity.”)

It has been many moons since we had our last caption contest, and boy oh boy did it show in last week’s results. I’d like to think this was you Taters working out the comedy ring rust, so to speak. Some of you opted for stoner jokes, because Nick Diaz, some of you opted to make fun of the gentleman on the right’s attire (WSOF vet Martin Sano, FWIW), and some of you didn’t really even attempt jokes at all, but merely observed that Diaz was in the same picture as the GOAT. Overall, I’d say this was a moderate success.

But onto the winning caption, which came via our Facebook page and completely destroyed the competition…

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Caption Contest: Win a Random DVD From Danga’s Vault!!


(The Greatest and The Realest, seen here discussing Russian trade policies and how to properly roll a blunt. via Martin Sano Jr.)

Can I level with you for a second, Nation? I’ve spent the last two days combatting a sickness something awful — chest congestion, stomach bug, milk leg, hot tub foot, scrotal migraines…the whole nine. It’s just been an absolute bacchanal of contamination and infection going on inside my body, the root of which I highly speculate to be the cobra whiskey I bought off a street urchin in (Boston) Chinatown earlier in the week.

But having awoken today with the internal storm mostly behind me, I feel like switching things up and passing along the positive vibes to you, the readers, with a good old fashioned caption contest. Lucky for me, this photo of Fedor Emelianenko and Nick Diaz made its way onto r/mma this morning, giving me/you the perfect opportunity to cash in on my newfound generosity.

You know the deal by now. Come up with your best captions for this photo — either in the comments section below, or on our Facebook page if said comments section isn’t working (which, let’s be honest, it probably isn’t). If you’re funny enough, you’ll win a random DVD from my extensive video library. Will it be an event DVD, like UFC 91 or 111? An unapologetically terrible movie starring an MMA fighter, like In the Blood or Scorpion King XVIII? Or maybe just highlights from my family trip to Myrtle Beach? BRING THE FUNNY AND FIND OUT!

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Dun Dada: Fantasy-Picking Kimbo Slice’s Opponent For His Bellator Debut


(And to think, had Kimbo landed his signature headbutt to the groin that night, EliteXC might still be in operation. Photo via Divulgação.)

By CagePotato reader BJ Last

Welcome back to Sliceworld! The man who took the internet by storm in 2003, turned into a popular MMA circus act in 2007, fell from relevance in 2010, started boxing jobbers in 2012, and everyone sort of forgot about in 2014, is now signed with the second biggest MMA promotion in the world. The only question remaining now — aside from why? and also huh? — is who should be Slice’s first opponent under the Bellator banner? Scott Coker & Co. have two options, as far as I see it:

1) They can try to find Slice a “legitimate” (yes, there’s a reason for air quotes) opponent in an attempt to rebuild him as a genuinely dangerous MMA fighter.

2) They can channel their inner Japanese MMA promotion and go full freakshow.

I’ll tell you what I want (what I really, really want), or at least what I see as the most likely options for each scenario. Let’s start with the “legitimate” opponents…

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And Now He’s Retired: Tim Sylvia Retires Due to Morbid Obesity (And Possible Brain Problems)


(Tim Sylvia, in his bantamweight debut. / Photo via Getty)

UFC 182 was certainly the talk of the town this weekend, yet we couldn’t help but notice a former UFC Heavyweight Champion call it a day after going on an Arby’s world tour to train for his most recent bout.

According to The Underground, Maine’s own Tim Sylvia retired yesterday, shortly after his super-heavyweight fight against Juliano “Banana” Coutinho at Reality Fighting 53 was cancelled. Sylvia, who was planning on entering the battlefield at a whopping 371 pounds, was not cleared to fight by  the Mohegan Tribe Department of Athletic Regulation at the Mohegan Sun Casino in Uncasville, CT., and thank the good Lord for that.

However, manager Monte Cox confirmed on Facebook there was a problem with his pre-fight MRI, and the bout was cancelled due to other issues apart from his weight. Nevertheless, the face-off picture of a bloated Timmeh surfaced on social media and MMA sites around the world, and that was enough for its experts to stare at it without blinking for the whole duration of the UFC 182 main card (except for the main event, of course).

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[VIDEO] This Russian Gym Commercial Featuring Fedor Emelianenko Hits You Right in the Feels


(Props: r/mma)

Russians: They have feelings. Who would’ve guessed? And this commercial for a Russian gym starring Fedor Emelianenko will hit you in every. last. one of them.

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Is Fedor Coming to Bellator? Scott Coker “In Dialogue” With M-1


(Photo via Getty)

Scott Coker wants to see Fedor Emelianenko vs. Randy Couture.

Yes, it’s 2014 and whispers about this “dream fight” from ages past are still happening.

“That’s a fight I would personally love to see,” Coker said after Bellator 123. “But I just don’t know if it’s going to happen.”

When pressed as to why he was pessimistic, Coker cited Couture’s appearance on Dancing with the Stars.

However, Coker did not that he was currently talking with M-1 and was going to be speaking with Couture next.

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The 21 Best Accessories in MMA History


(Alistair Overeem wielding Mjolnir / Photo via Getty)

Sometimes fans need more to remember a fighter by than just a performance or a gimmick. They need an accessory to associate that fighter with–and the very best fighters understand this and know how to accessorize.

We brainstormed at Castle CagePotato as to what accessory was the greatest of all time. After several thought-sessions ended in magic ice cream binges and Martin Luther cosplay sessions, we decided to just list off all the best ones rather than just decide which one among them was the best:

1. Fedor Emelianenko’s sweater.

2. Donald Cerrone‘s cowboy hat.

3. Khabib Nurmagomedov‘s Dagestani hat.

4. David Rickels’ caveman club and dinosaur.

Get the rest after the jump!

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Wednesday Links: Fedor Doesn’t Like Women Competing in MMA, Dana White Insists Jon Jones Will Fight Gustafsson, ‘Game of Thrones’ Strongman Deadlifts 994 Pounds + More


(If Jones vs. Gustafssson 2 actually ends like this, I swear to God, I will order Fight Pass. / Props: BinaryMasta via r/MMA)

Fedor Emelianenko Believes Women Should Be Feminine and Not Fight in MMA (BleacherReport)

Dana White’s Answer to Jon Jones: ‘Gustafsson’s Next in Line’ (MMAFighting)

UFC: Ultimate Fighter Brazil Finale Sets New Low Ratings Mark for Nationally Televised Cards (BloodyElbow)

“Fighters’ World Tour” Promising UFC Stars Revealed to Be a Scam (MMAPayout)

Fernanda Hernandes Heats up the Octagon (BabesofMMA)

Dusty Exner Writes Open Letter to Her Childhood Bully, UFC Fighter Kajan Johnson; Johnson Apologizes in Long Letter, Exner Forgives Him, And the Whole Thing Is Kind of Heartwarming (trailerparkdusty)

VIDEO: The Mountain From ‘Game of Thrones’ Deadlifts 994 Pounds (Break)

Disgusting Video of Justin Bieber Singing Racist Parody of His Own Song Leaks (PopHangover)

Wisconsin Teens Claim They Stabbed Friend To Please Slenderman (EscapistMagazine)

Do You Even Lift, President Obama? (Guyism)

‘Watch Dogs’ Walkthrough (Gamefront)

36 Sexy Girls With Tan Lines (Radass)

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25 MMA Reaction GIFs for All Occasions


(Matt Hughes doesn’t need to say it. But yes, it’s whatever.)

Reaction GIFs are the world’s most perfect means of communication. Why waste time typing out actual words about how you’re feeling when you can just link to other people’s facial expressions? The next time you find yourself in a heated comments section, fire off one of these MMA-related reaction GIFs. Use the next page links to move through the list, and enjoy…

When you’ve defeated a bitter rival:

When you just laughed at something you shouldn’t have laughed at:

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