(“It’ll never happen, ladies. Now go back to the kitchen and make me an eight-sided sandwich.” / Image via CagePotato’s Facebook page, which you should all follow immediately.)

By the CagePotato.com Staff

They were undeniable truths — until suddenly, they weren’t. Check out our latest list below, and ask yourself: What do I believe now that will turn out to be utter bullshit someday?

1. Alistair Overeem will become the UFC heavyweight champion in less than a year.

(Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

2. There’s no way a boxer could ever beat a mixed martial artist under MMA rules.

3. Rickson’s record is 400-0. No, seriously.
 

(Lyoto sees that you see what he did there, and will not let it affect his afternoon beverage of choice.) 

Whenever one of my boxer-pilates-yogacise students approach me about dropping my bi-weekly class at the Y because it is “too intense” or “too racist” or “makes no Goddamn sense,” my answer is always the same: “Give it a fortnight, young grasshopper, then decide. Also, can I borrow some bus fare?” Because a lot can change in a couple weeks, simply put, and I wouldn’t want any of my students saying something they regretted and earning an eternal enemy in the process.

At the bare minimum, it’s a philosophy that former light heavyweight champion Lyoto Machida can appreciate. Because roughly two weeks ago, “The Dragon” stated through his management that it “didn’t make sense” for him to fight the #2-ranked contender Alexander Gustafsson despite being called out by him, what with a guaranteed rematch with Jon Jones looming on the horizon and all.

Unfortunately for Machida, Jones is going to spend the next 6 months recovering from the toecapitation he suffered against Chael Sonnen last weekend, and has stated that he would prefer to face Gustafsson when he returns from his layoff. And wouldn’t you know it, Machida has suddenly changed his tune on the whole Gustafsson issue, but only because Jones is injured, we assure you.

A video of Machida’s post-being-called-out callout of Gustafsson is after the jump. 

(I’ll never let go, Lyoto. I’ll never let go…)

We’re of two minds about the latest interview snippet from Lyoto Machida’s manager, Jorge Guimaraes, in which he all but sealed the door on the potential of a Machida/Alexander Gustafsson fight following the Swede’s call out of Machida some weeks ago. On one hand, Machida was promised a title shot with a win over Dan Henderson at UFC 157, and to his credit, he was able to do so (albeit in rather tepid fashion). On the other hand, Dana White then promised Gustafsson a title shot with a win over Gegard Mousasi before that all fell apart.

But on the third hand, Machida was offered a shot against Jon Jones on short notice at UFC 152, then turned the goddamn thing down. Throw in the fact that Jones already choked Machida unconscious at UFC 140 and couldn’t care less if he ever fought Machida again, and it would appear that the Brazilian isn’t exactly in the position to be making demands. Regardless, Guimaraes told Lancenet that Machida would prefer to sit on the sidelines until this whole Jones/Sonnen nonsense is finished (translation via FightersOnly):

Lyoto is on stand-by list waiting for the winner of Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen. I think it is almost impossible for Chael to win this bout, but anything may happen. A fight is a fight, but it has already been scheduled, there’s no history about it.

Lyoto is the number one contender and he is only waiting to see who is going to be the winner of this fight. He is not convinced about Jones…he is not convinced from that loss.

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(It’s hard to argue that she didn’t earn it, but we’re sure at least a few of you will try your damnedest anyway. / Photo via Getty Images)

The California State Athletic Commission recently released the salary figures for UFC 157, which transpired last Saturday from the Honda Center in Anaheim, California. Topping the payroll was none other than Dan Henderson, who took home a cool quarter million despite dropping a close decision to Lyoto Machida in the night’s co-main event. Most of the salaries seem relatively fair considering the UFC’s recent cutbacks, but check out the full list after the jump and let us know who you think is “super fucking expensive” and who deserves to be paid a little more.

In their other lives, UFC stars Chael Sonnen and Rashad Evans suit up and become television analysts for Fuel TV. It was in this role Saturday night that Chael Sonnen experienced the latest negative consequence of his mouth writing a check his…well, in this case I guess it was a check that Dan Henderson’s ass couldn’t cash.

Before UFC 157, Sonnen the analyst said that he’d lick Rashad Evans’ shoe if his long-time Team Quest training partner Henderson lost to Lyoto Machida in their featured bout Saturday night. After Machida won a split decision over Henderson Chael made good on his promise and made sweet mouth love to Evans’ shoe.

Yes, that was a needlessly disgusting sentence and this post is somewhat pointless in the grand scheme of Saturday’s historic event. But you’re a damn liar if you’re telling me you didn’t press ‘play’ on the video above to watch ‘The American Bad Ass’ French kiss Rashad’s boot once you read the headline.

In related news, Henderson isn’t surprised that one of the judges managed to somehow think he won the fight against Machida, he’s apparently upset that all three didn’t.

“I won the fight, but not officially. I hit him whenever he wanted to fight. He ran away most of the time,” Hendo said at the UFC 157 post fight press conference.

Listen, the fight was close-fought and the judges had to pay attention but there is no question that Machida landed the harder shots and more often, mostly thwarted Hendo’s wrestling while doing more with his own offensive wrestling and ground work than the former two-division champ did. Yes, Machida made Henderson whiff with many of his leaping over hand rights and left hooks but I’d hardly call that “running.”

Was Henderson surprised that his opponent would try to strategically stay out of range until he was ready to throw his own shots? Had he seen Lyoto Machida fight before?

Photo courtesy of Getty Images

Make no mistake, no matter how last night’s main event was going to end, it was going to be an important moment in UFC history. For the first time in the promotion’s history, two female athletes would be competing in the UFC. Squash match or not, the historical significance of the fight and the freshly minted UFC Women’s Bantamweight title were enough to bump the fight up to main event status.

I’ve seen dozens of writers today write about how “predictably” the main event ended, but I can’t help but feel that this does a severe injustice to the fight we were treated to. Yes, it ended in a first round armbar victory for Ronda Rousey, and no, literally nothing else about this fight was predictable.

This is in large part a credit to challenger Liz Carmouche. Few people gave Carmouche any sort of chance to win, as clearly reflected by the betting odds for the fight. Yet for the first time last night, Carmouche was able to expose holes in Rousey’s game, and make the women’s champion look beatable. She wasn’t Rousey’s slightly-resistant grappling dummy – she was a very worthy challenger who almost finished Rousey with a rear-naked choke, and has teeth marks on her arm to show for it. Let’s all stop and admit that none of us expected this from her.

(I’m not exactly sure what Dana’s thinking right now, but if I had to guess, it’s probably something along the lines of “ohhhhhhh yeaaahhhhh [dooo-bo-bo].” / Photo via CombatLifestyle. Check out more pics from this set here.)

UFC 157 goes down tonight at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California, and let’s just say if you hear any noise it ain’t the boys, Potato Nation. Women’s MMA crossover star Ronda Rousey will be putting her new bantamweight belt on the line against challenger Liz Carmouche, in a historic fight that will either be remembered as the UFC’s first step toward gender quality, or the latest Great American Freak Show. We’re just hoping for an entertaining battle that doesn’t end with a gruesome compound fracture on live television.

But while the women might steal the show, “Rousey vs. Carmouche” is actually a solid card from top to bottom. We’ve got a possible #1 light-heavyweight contender’s match between Dan Henderson and Lyoto Machida, an old-school welterweight banger between Josh Koscheck and Robbie Lawler, and Urijah Faber’s must-win battle against dangerous veteran Ivan Menjivar. There’s also a fight between Court McGee and Josh Neer that really has no business being on a pay-per-view card at this point, but such is life.

Leading us through the UFC 157 main card will be actual fighter Elias Cepeda, who will be slapping down round-by-round results after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please throw in your own insightful commentary in the comments section. Thanks for joining us.

(“Of course I’m gonna beat Liz Carmouche. And everyone that comes after her. I’m going to retire undefeated, and there’s nothing any of these girls can do about it.” Video via: YouTube.com/UFC)

And here we have the traditional nine-minute preview of the UFC’s next pay-per-view event, which goes down February 23rd at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California. If you’re tired of the Rousey vs. Carmouche hype at this point (Rousey = Mike Tyson, “Lizbos,” etc.), just skip to 5:07 to see the profile of Dan Henderson vs. Lyoto Machida, which begins by recapping the Henderson knee injury that led to the scrapping of UFC 151. At the 5:58 mark, Dana White says that if Henderson beats Machida, Henderson will get the next light-heavyweight title shot, which is direct contradiction of…ah, just forget it.

Also: Henderson hints that he’s bringing a secret weapon to this fight, but if that doesn’t work, he’ll just have to hit Machida with his right hand. (Makes sense.) Of course, Hendo vs. the Dragon is a matchup of power vs. speed/footwork, but as Henderson puts it, “we’ll see how quick this old man is too.”

(“I would consider it an honor to fight a great champion like Chael Sonnen. LOL, just kidding.” Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Not that reports like this are ever worth a damn, but in accordance with the current mood of UFC President Dana White, Swedish light-heavyweight contender Alexander Gustafsson will receive a title shot if he can beat Gegard Mousasi in the main event of UFC on FUEL TV 9, April 6th in Stockholm.

“If Mousasi beats Gustafsson, he skyrockets right to the top of that division,” White said today in London. “And as far as Gustafsson goes, if he beats Mousasi in that fight, he’s in line for a title shot. This is a big fight for both of those guys.”

This, of course, is an old trick — pumping up a non-title-fight main event by declaring that it has title fight “implications.” But the UFC could very likely stick to their word this time, if for no other reason than to further punish Dan Henderson for his role in sinking UFC 151 and Lyoto Machida for refusing a title shot at UFC 152. Those two poor saps will be playing second-fiddle to a couple of broads in ten days at UFC 157.

Gustafsson has won his last six fights, which ties him for #4 on the list of longest current UFC win streaks. Would a seventh win against Mousasi convince you that he’d be a threat to Bones?

(By the way, he’s supposed to be Danny Zuko from Grease. I’m guessing these costumes were not his idea.)

Dan Henderson fans, get your cash out. MMA Mania gives us the heads-up that Hendo is as high as a +196 underdog for his UFC 157 fight against Lyoto Machida on February 23rd. (In other words, a $100 bet on Henderson would return $196 in profit if he wins.) Considering that Henderson is coming back from a knee injury, it’s understandable that the oddsmakers don’t have complete faith in him. But considering how dangerous Henderson has looked in his last four fights — the epic war with Shogun Rua at UFC 139, and his knockouts of Fedor, Feijao, and Babalu in Strikeforce — it still feels like he’s being sold short.

Then again, you have to consider how Henderson matches up with Machida specifically. Sure, Hendo can turn your lights off with that H-Bomb if you stand in front of him, but he might have a problem with Machida’s skill at evasion and his perfectly-timed attacks from unorthodox angles. Are the odds juicy enough to warrant a bet on the old ‘dog?

In a related story, Ronda Rousey — who opened as a ridiculous -1500 favorite against Liz Carmouche — is currently sitting at a still-ridiculous -1050.

(“Lyoto, we’re friends and all, but if I catch you crouched beside the urinals with a chalice one more time, there are going to be some serious problems.” Photo courtesy of Machida’s Twitter.)  

Well, we can pretty much put any doubt to rest in regards to Lyoto Machida’s strategy for his upcoming UFC 157 fight with Dan Henderson. The former champion recently Tweeted the above photo of himself training alongside Melvin Manhoef, the world renowned Muay Thai kickboxer who possesses legs so destructive that they are capable of implosion, so expect a Machida gameplan of “Leg kick, evade, repeat” heading into this one. This is not good news for Hendo, who will be stepping back into the ring for the first time since blowing out his knee and setting into motion a series of events that would culminate in the cancellation of UFC 151 and an absolutely brutal public backlash aimed at champion Jon Jones. So yeah, it wasn’t all bad.

Since going winless during his Strikeforce and DREAM runs in 2010-2011, Manhoef has put together three wins and a no-contest in MMA competition, including a first round destruction of Denis Kang on New Year’s Eve at DREAM 18. Machida, on the other hand, recently rebounded from a failed title bid against Jones at UFC 140 with a second round KO of Ryan Bader at UFC on Fox 4 last August.

After the jump: A video testament to Manhoef’s otherworldly striking power. Seriously, he and Rousimar Palhares must be like the Freddy and Jason of the ACL dimension.

(Look Dana, if his knee was really still injured, would he be playing in a professional baseball winter league?)

By Elias Cepeda

After earning a shot at the UFC light heavyweight title, Alexander Gustafsson said Saturday night that he won’t wait around for the winner of champion Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen to fight again. Jones and Sonnen are currently slated to face one another for Jones’ belt after the season of The Ultimate Fighter that they are currently coaching on finishes.

The Swedish contender put himself in line for a shot with a dominant unanimous decision win over Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at Saturday’s UFC on Fox card but at the post event press conference said that he would be happy to risk his title shot by fighting again in the interim. “I want to fight for the belt, and if they give me one before that, it doesn’t matter. I’ll fight whoever the UFC gives me,” he said.

“I want to stay active, and I want to fight.” The young kickboxer has no interest in waiting another half year or more to fight.

“I’ll fight whenever. I was away for a long time. The last time I fought was in April, and that was too long. To wait till summer again, that would be too long.”

UFC President Dana White seems to be in accordance with that thought. “If I was [Gustafsson], I’d want to get another fight in before taking on Jon Jones,” he said.

“He could fight again. I’m hearing Dan Henderson’s knee isn’t better, so maybe Gustafsson should fight Machida next,” White continued.

Henderson’s poor health status is evidentally news to the fighter himself. The former Pride champion was scheduled to fight Jon Jones earlier this year but pulled out after he injured his knee in training camp. He is now scheduled to take on former UFC champion Lyoto Machida in February at UFC 157: These Chicks Can Fight.

On his twitter account, Dan reacted incredulously to White’s supposed inside information on his knee. “Not sure where @danawhite thinks he’s hearing that my knee isn’t doing ok. It’s doing great. Slowly picking training up just like I do for every training camp,” he tweeted.

(“Thank you for this honor, Bader-san. I will now honor your ancestors by getting drunk on a boat and attending a foam party.” Photo via Tracy Lee/Yahoo! Sports)

The UFC’s spite-booking between light-heavyweight contenders Dan Henderson and Lyoto Machida is close to being finalized. Sources close to the event have informed MMA Fighting that Hendo and Pervo have verbally agreed to meet at UFC 157, which will go down February 23rd at the Honda Center in Anaheim, California. The bout isn’t expected to be the card’s main event, which is still TBA at this point. Not that we wouldn’t want to speculate.

Due to a poorly-timed knee injury, Henderson has gone all of 2012 without a single Octagon appearance — not an ideal situation for a 42-year-old athlete, but at least the layoff has given him time to enroll in shit-talking school — while Machida is coming off his August knockout of Ryan Bader. The winner will likely take on Jon Jones, after he champ finishes thrashing Chael Sonnen in April. (No, I’m still not going to give Sonnen a chance, no matter how many insulting specialty pizzas he creates.)

(The Comeback of Buck Rydell, episode 1. Any similarities between Buck and a certain UFC legend are purely coincidental. Keep an eye on the Buck Rydell YouTube page for future installments of the series.)

- Dan Henderson Says He’s Fighting Lyoto Machida at UFC 156 (BleacherReport)

- Pros React to Ronda Rousey Joining UFC, Dissolution of Strikeforce (MMAFighting)

- Rich Franklin Expects Plenty Of Tricks From Cung Le (Fightline)

- Anderson Silva and Jon Jones Kidnapped and Forced to Fight (prebek)

- Dave Herman Agrees to Drug-Rehab Program (MMAJunkie)

- To be fair, we heard his first words were “Hello Japan!” (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- UFC Primetime: St. Pierre vs. Condit Episode One (HeavyMMA)

- The Best-Ever Bond Villains (MensFitness)

- The 100 Greatest Hip-Hop Beats of All-Time (Complex)

- It’s Thanksgiving: Let’s Make a Horrible Music Video (EgoTV)

- The 50 Weirdest Photos on the Internet (WorldWideInterweb)

- 9 Bad Tattoo Ideas No Man Should Ever Get (MadeMan)

(Machida has a lot riding on this fight: A UFC title shot, the respect of Brazil’s fans, and a chance to one day sit on the Cool Guy Bench.)

The UFC’s light-heavyweight title picture has become quite a twisted web over the last few weeks. When Dan Henderson blew out his knee before his scheduled title challenge against Jon Jones at UFC 151 (R.I.P.), the call went out to Lyoto Machida to meet Jones at UFC 152, since the Dragon was officially next in line. But then Machida declined the offer, and yada yada yada, we now have an aging middleweight looking to shock the world next weekend.

So does that mean that Henderson keeps his spot at the front of the 205-pound contender-line when he heals up? Not exactly. According to a new report from Dave Meltzer on MMAFighting, UFC president Dana White now intends to have Hendo and Machida fight each other to determine the true #1 LHW contender. The planned booking seems to be motivated at least partly by anger. As Meltzer writes:

(We’ll give Anderson this, he has an ability to facially express himself that not even Ernest P. Worrell could hold a candle to.) 

Good afternoon, Potato Nation, Danga here. As many of you may or may not have realized/elated over, I have been out of the office since last Thursday, first taking a trip down to New York City, then heading out to Boston to move into the apartment at which I currently reside. Aside from being called a “fahkin retahd” by nearly every citizen who shared the road with me, it was a relatively painless move, but one that left me without Internet access for a good three or four days, which in Internet time is roughly 6 months.

At least that was what it felt like. When I fired up my computer this morning to peruse over CagePotato and see what the MMA world had been up to in my absence, I expected to find a couple sweet knockout videos and maybe a Labor Day-themed article or two. Suffice it to say, I was shocked to find that not only had CP managed to snag a “fight scientist” to impress us with his “graphs” and “numbers” and “empirical data,” but we were even granted access to a behind-the-scenes look at a local New Jersey-based event. And elsewhere, not only had Erik Koch been replaced by Frankie Edgar against Jose Aldo at UFC 153, but Aldo had been hit by a car (which I imagined looked something like this) and promptly told the injury curse of 2012 to go fuck itself. I was less surprised to learn, however, that Arlovski/Sylvia IV ended in controversy and bitter disappointment for those involved, but the fact that Tim Sylvia was even partly responsible for actual progress in the MMA world nearly made up for all the pain and suffering he has brought upon both himself and the sport in the past few years.

Of course, today is a new day, and with it comes a bit of mixed news. Regardless of who you feel deserves the next shot at Anderson Silva, the fact that “The Spider” is turning down fights in the weight class he resides over in favor of a possible superfight against GSP is a frustrating, if not equally intriguing prospect for MMA fans to digest. But as it turns out, Silva’s absence from the octagon in the near future may also be linked to something a little harder to swallow. Mainly, movie stardom. Because according to a report from metronews.ca, Silva may be heading to Canada down the line to promote and star in a major-budget MMA film called Tapped.

Details after the jump.

(Photo via CagedInsider.com)

Ed. note: Reed “The Fight Scientist” Kuhn is a Washington D.C.-based strategy consultant whose pioneering work in MMA stats analysis earned him a position as Strategic Advisor for Alchemist Management, as well as contributing gigs for the UFC, Sherdog, and Fight! Magazine. Using the information available to him as a research fellow with FightMetric, Reed examines historical trends and data to uncover new ways of looking at the sport — and predict what’s most likely to happen in a given matchup. In the coming weeks, Reed will begin providing exclusive columns and analysis to CagePotato.com. The following was originally published on his site, FightNomics. For further reading, check out “Small Fish, Bigger Pond: The UFC/WEC Merger’s Hidden Secret” and “Diamond in the Rough: Is Nate Diaz Built for a UFC Championship?” Follow Fightnomics on Twitter and Facebook.

At UFC 129 Randy Couture entered the Octagon for the last time to the cheers of over 55,000 fans in Toronto’s Rogers Centre, a massive venue normally reserved for major league baseball and Canadian football games. From a dimmed broadcast platform set up in the cheap sets, I watched alongside the cast and crew of the one-time, live pre-show experiment known as “UFC Central.” As Lyoto Machida lined up across the cage, I pointed to my analysis of the matchup, noting specifically that Machida’s evasiveness and striking ability was the key here, as was Couture’s age. Randy Couture was 47 years old and a veteran at grinding out victories. But his only hope was to neutralize Machida’s laser-like strikes via clinching and dirty boxing, possibly even ground and pound. And that wasn’t in the cards. Even from our distant vantage point, we all knew it.

Analysis of Machida showed extremely accurate striking and similarly excellent striking defense. His takedown defense was also strong, a result if his uncanny ability to maintain distance, which would eliminate any advantage a wrestler might have over him. Couture on the other hand, was a decent striker, but allowed his opponents to land their own strikes with better than average success, indicating poor striking defense. His wrestling acumen led to a good shooting takedown success rate, though surprisingly little success from the clinch. The fight’s outcome was right there in front of us on the paper. At -325, Machida was a strong but not overwhelming favorite, and yet that betting line failed to capture how much of an advantage he really had. The “Dragon” was 15 years younger than the “Natural,” a spread that generally leads to an 80% win rate for the younger fighter. On top of that, it was clear that he was going to keep his distance, meaning he could send his strikes through Couture’s loose defense at will.

As the fight began, Kenny Florian and Stephan Bonnar watched with slight grimaces while Couture pressed forward and tried desperately to get a hold of the elusive Machida. During these scrambles Machida landed punches out of nowhere with his typical blazing speed and accuracy. When the first round ended, it was almost a relief that Couture was still standing – a small victory for Father Time. But that relief was short lived, and the now famous crane kick that ended the illustrious MMA career of Randy Couture connected with his chin barely a minute into the second round. Couture’s head snapped with the impact of the surprise kick, and his body immediately crumpled to the mat before the kick was even retracted. Moments after recovering, as Randy stood flashing his Hollywood grin and confirming the retirement we were all expecting, one of his teeth fell out in his hand.

(“How to Kill Zombies with Daron Cruickshank” sneak peek, via TheFightNerd. It’s like The Walking Dead, only, y’know, not like that at all.)

- A Guide to Playing a Complex Blame Game in the Wake of UFC 151′s Cancellation (MMAJunkie)

- Ellenberger vs. Hieron Moved To UFC On FX 5 Co-Main Slot (HeavyMMA)

- Jon Jones Installed As Massive Favorite in UFC 152 Opening Line vs. Vitor Belfort (MMAFighting)

- The Jon Jones Photoshop Gallery of Hate (TitoCouture)

- Ed Soares Clears Air On Lyoto Machida’s Decision For Turning Down Jon Jones Fight (Fightline)

- “Yes, those gashes are from elbows. Tough way to make a living, this MMA.” (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- MMA: Inside the Cage #108 – “Armbars and Polish Stars” (MMA: Inside the Cage)

- 20 Disney Girls Who Got Hot (MadeMan)

- The Hilariously Depressing Theme Songs of Classic TV Sitcoms (EgoTV)

- Why Stressed-Out Men Are Attracted to Overweight Women (MensFitness)

- Kate Upton in Italian GQ (TurdFergusonBlog)

- Girls With Two Big Things Going for Them [Photos] (WorldWideInterweb)

(“Vitor, my brother, you must take this fight for me. I have, how you say, too much pussy.”)

Remember how badly Lyoto Machida wanted a rematch with Jon Jones? Well, he didn’t want it badly enough to fight Jones on a month’s notice. In the latest chapter of the UFC’s most bizarre storyline of 2012, it was revealed late last night by MMAFighting that Machida decided he needed more time to prepare for another title fight against the light-heavyweight champ, and has turned down the opportunity. Machida had briefly been scheduled to face Jones at UFC 152 on September 22nd. (Yes, we’re calling it UFC 152 again. “UFC 151 will be remembered as the event Jon Jones and Greg Jackson murdered,” according to UFC president Dana White.)

The UFC’s next choice for Jones’s opponent was, logically, Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, who also “won impressively” at UFC on FOX 4. But as Lance Pugmire of the LA Times tweeted, Shogun also turned down the fight. Unbelievable. And so, Dana’s hate list grows larger by the day.

But look, on the horizon…a savior. For some reason, middleweight contender Vitor Belfort was offered the chance to fight Jones at UFC 152, which he happily accepted. Said Belfort: “Where a lot of guys are acting like divas I think this is a big challenge for any fighter. I have all the respect for Jones. That’s why you can’t miss this competition. I will not let no one down. I come from the times of Carlson Gracie. He lives inside of me.” Belfort was originally slated to fight Alan Belcher at UFC 153 in Rio.

(Suddenly, the decision to sponsor this guy seems like not so great of an idea.) 

Boy oh boy, have the events of this afternoon trapped everyone in a glass case of emotion or what? We’re going to forgo the typical “aftermath” aspect of this…aftermath, because suffice it to say, you are already aware of what has gone down. Looking ahead, it appears Jon Jones will be facing Lyoto Machida (again) at UFC 152 in Toronto (again). It also appears that all of the claims that “Lyoto TOTALLY won a round against Bones, you guys” — as if he, you know, didn’t get sliced open and choked unconscious shortly thereafter — have had some effect on the bookies. At least for now.

BestFightOdds currently has Jones listed between -475 and -485 for his rematch with “The Dragon,” which is actually not as bad (for Machida, at least) as the -600 Jones was listed at when these two first squared off. Who knows how far that number will sway in the next few weeks, but we’re guessing it will only increase in Jones’ favor as time passes.

But that’s not the story here. The real story is that, due to the cancellation of UFC 151, a lot of fighters are getting royally screwed. Sure, the UFC could reimburse them with their show money (as if they’re not losing a shitload of it already), but these fighters rely on sponsorship money to truly put them in the green. That money has seemingly dissapeared, and man are they pissed about it. After all, when you only fight a few times a year (at best) for next-to-nothing, missing a fight can have serious financial consequences. And the poor saps who will now be missing another paycheck are letting Jones have it on Twitter.

The best responses are after the jump. 

Five rounds against Machida could save you five percent or more on UFC PPVs.

As flawless as UFC light-heavyweight champion Jon “Bones” Jones has looked inside the Octagon, he’s looked just as imperfect outside of it. There’s his unchecked arrogance, his “You never have to worry about me with a DWI or doing something crazy” comment just weeks before his DUI arrest and his brutal honesty about potential opponents. Basically, Jon Jones does everything in his power outside of the cage to make it hard for most fans to celebrate his in-sport accomplishments.

Which is why most of you won’t be too surprised to learn that just two weeks before his Light-Heavyweight title defense against the legendary Dan Henderson at UFC 151, Jones had some pretty harsh words for his next opponent, Lyoto Machida. In an interview with ESPN.com, Jones stated that “The Dragon” doesn’t deserve a rematch with him, not so much because he isn’t a competent fighter, but because Machida won’t get the fans to buy pay-per-views. In his own words:

“I don’t want to fight Lyoto Machida. He was my lowest pay-per-view draw of last year. No one wants to see me fight Lyoto Machida. I don’t want to fight Lyoto again. Lyoto is high risk and low reward. He’s a tough fighter, but no one wants to buy that fight.

Quote continued after the jump

(“Nothing comes between me and my Baconator. Nothing.”)

By Jason Moles

In the ever-competitive world of professional mixed martial arts, the men and women are fighting for more than just the fans and their next paycheck; they’re fighting for survival. When you barely have enough money left for yourself after paying your training partners, coaches, and buying nutritional supplements, it’s time to find another source of income. Most do this in the way of sponsorships — you know, like the Nike deal Jon Jones recently signed, or Anderson Silva’s relationship with Burger King. And if more of these well-known mainstream companies would sponsor a few fighters, the smaller companies that currently sponsor fighters could move to guys and gals who are still making their way up the ranks without anyone losing out. Let’s look at the companies that best suit MMA, how they should be involved, and why it makes sense.

Company: Old Spice
Ideal fighter to sponsor: Cheick Kongo, Alistair Overeem

Why it makes sense: Standing 6′ 4″ and weighing 230 pounds, and 6′ 5″/263, respectively, the Frenchman and the Dutchman are the most physically imposing fighters in the UFC’s heavyweight division. Old Spice is known for their funny commercials targeting the same audience watching PPV’s on a Saturday night. In the past, Old Spice has used NFL players Brian Urlacher and Ray Lewis as spokesman for their ‘Swagger’ line of men’s body products, as well as jacked Expendables cast-member Terry Crews. And if those guys can do it, why not Kongo and Overeem? In particular, “The Demolition Man” is the type of guy you want your customers to think they’ll be more like by using your product. Alistair could even make his commercial debut by eating the horse the original Old Spice Guy rode in on.

Props to the UG for the find and MMAInterviews for this video, which asks several of the fighters from UFC on FOX 4, along with several other MMA stars, what Olympic event they would most likely compete in if they weren’t mixed martial artists. The responses ranged from funny (Joe Lauzon’s desire to try and make people give a shit about speed walking) to optimistic (5′ 8” Jamie Varner’s chances as a high-jumper) to spot-on for their personality (Ryan Bader would “throw rocks” and lift weights, go figure).

And speaking of Olympics, are we the only ones who think water polo is receiving far too much coverage this year? We’re sorry, but whatever asshole took a look at soccer and thought “You know what we should do with this sport? Slow it way, way down, limit the players mobility, and blow a whistle every three seconds” should be shot in the face, then dragged to a nearby park to make it look like a suicide. And yes, we know that person is probably dead already. Just go with it.

Anyway, it is with this inspiring little interview that we ask you taters to fill the blanks in for the following sentence:

If ______ were an Olympian instead of an MMA fighter, he/she would ______.

-J. Jones

Props: MMA Photoshops

In our efforts to give out high fives and bro grabs over how much fun Saturday night’s fights were, we missed the opportunity to give constructive criticism to some of the evening’s lowest moments. We’ll more than likely still miss out on the constructive criticism here, but sometimes there’s just no way to be helpful about something’s ugliness (no matter how hard you try to be). But before we get caught up in the negativity…

The Good:

Vera and Varner Impressive in Defeat. Before Saturday night, both men were expected to be little more than highlight reel fodder for their opponents. After they came up just short in two of the most competitive, entertaining bouts to be broadcast on Fox, it’d be too easy to make comparisons to Rocky. So instead of making one, I’ll just imply it – problem solved. A loss is never easy for either fighter to swallow, but it could have been much uglier.

Mike Swick’s Feel-Good Comeback Fight. Is it even possible not to feel good for Mike Swick? After losing his last two fights and spending over two years away from the sport, things were looking pretty grim for “Quick.” Watching DaMarques Johnson control Swick for the first round certainly didn’t brighten the mood, either. But if you know somebody who wasn’t cheering while Swick flawlessly finished Johnson, that person has no pulse. In fact, that “person” is probably a zombie. Act accordingly.

Shogun was as brutal and entertaining as Machida, but not as impressive in Dana White’s eyes. Props: @raiseyourhorns

After watching the UFC’s first two lackluster efforts on Fox, as well as the organization’s entertaining third effort fail to draw decent ratings, it was no secret that the UFC needed to deliver with last night’s UFC on Fox 4. With “the most impressive fighter” earning the next title shot at light-heavyweight, fighters returning to the spotlight after time in the indie leagues and fighters returning from extended layoffs – not to mention the usual
mix of fighters attempting to make a name for themselves and guys literally fighting for their jobs- it was obvious that the UFC was hoping for something special from everybody involved. Factor in the fact that the UFC was already struggling with ratings before the abysmal UFC 149 just two weeks ago, and it would seem like a night full of stoppages was in order to keep the fans interested in future fights on Fox.

Simply put, this card delivered all that was expected of it and then some. Last night’s fights were exactly what I was hoping to get when the UFC first announced that they had inked a deal with Fox. It was exactly what I want to show the first time viewer who asks what this “MMA stuff” is that I write about. After a rough start with these free cards on Fox, the UFC now stands at an even 2-2.

It wouldn’t be fair to say that the main event bout between Mauricio “Shogun” Rua and Brandon “The Truth” Vera lived up to its expectations because, let’s face it, there weren’t any. Before the fight, no one could make sense of the potential title implications behind a seemingly blatant squash fight, pitting an aging legend of our sport against a fighter who had been coasting on the brink of irrelevance. Whether we were given a quick, brutal knockout or five rounds of stalling and wheezing, few of us would have been surprised either way.

Rather, it’s fair to say that Shogun Rua vs. Brandon Vera ended up being one of the best fights that the UFC has put on Fox, and easily the most entertaining main event on the network. For four rounds, Shogun outpointed a focused, game Vera on his way to a fourth round TKO. While Vera certainly had his moments – don’t act like your jaw didn’t drop when he locked in that guillotine in the first round – in the end Shogun’s aggressive striking and takedowns were just too much for The Truth.

By Nathan Smith

Earlier in the week Dana White stated that “whoever wins the most impressively” from the contests involving Mauricio “Shogun” Rua VS Brandon Vera and Lyoto Machida VS Ryan Bader would be deemed the #1 contender for the LHW title. After watching the events unfold the UFC’s decision remained even more of a cluster f*ck due to a devestating Machida KO and a hard-fought TKO victory by Shogun. Even before Dana White stepped to the podium for the post-fight press conference, he announced LIVE just prior to the conclusion of the UFC on FOX 4 festivities telecast, that Lyoto Machida held the golden ticket.

By the time DW made his way to the dias for the post-fight press conference, the announcement had already spread across the MMA universe but he did say – during the media frenzy – that Machida “wants it bad.” The Dragon earned a convincing KO victory against a very tough competitor. Ryan Bader’s evening ended when he charged forward and ran directly into a perfectly-timed and placed right hand counter by Machida. Good night Irene.

(“Then it’s settled. I’ll crouch behind him, and you push him over.” / Photo via CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

I’ve got an idea: Instead of obsessing about who really deserves the next shot at the light-heavyweight title, let’s just kick back tonight and enjoy some free fights on FOX, two of which happen to feature former 205-pound champions (both Brazilian) facing off against hungry contenders (both American). Throw in a lightweight feature between Joe Lauzon and comeback kid Jamie Varner, and Mike Swick‘s first Octagon appearance in two-and-a-half years, and you’ve got a lineup that should hopefully take some of the sting off that $55 you blew on UFC 149.

The UFC on FOX: Shogun vs. Vera main card kicks off at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT, and our man Elias Cepeda will be guiding you through the play-by-play after the jump. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and give us the play-by-play for your own lives in the comments section.

Props: Jason Deebank via MMAFanMade

By Seth Falvo (@SethFalvo)

We’re just hours away from UFC on FOX 4, where four men will attempt to become the least impressive light-heavyweight title challenger since Elvis Sinosic by winning in the most impressive manner possible. To paraphrase Jeff Fox, the winner of the upcoming Jones vs. Henderson bout will defend his belt against the winner of tonight’s semantics game. There’s got to be a catch, right?

Of course there is. Even the dimmest MMA fans among us have already interpreted this as a way for Dana White to back out of giving Brandon Vera a title shot if he were to actually defeat Shogun Rua tonight. Shogun is obviously the preferable contender, but just in case he blows this somehow, we’ll shrug it off and put the winner of Machida/Bader in the cage with Jones/Hendo, right? Quite the contrary: This semantics game was designed to give Lyoto Machida a title shot with a victory.

Right now, some of you are screaming “What kind of idiot hack journalist are you, Seth?!” at your screens. First, allow me to welcome you to Cage Potato; you’re obviously new here. Second, let me lay it out for you with four simple reasons after the jump.

(“You know the deal, guys. Whoever puts on the most impressive performance tonight gets the title shot.” [*unzips*] / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle.com. For more photos from this set, click here.)

By Ryan Sarr

Who is going to win the “Jon Jones Sweepstakes?” That is the big question heading into the UFC’s fourth venture onto network television tonight. Dana White was so pissed about the boring, lackluster abomination that was the UFC 149 main card, that he decided to award a light-heavyweight title shot to the man who wins the “most impressively“ among the four main and co-main event participants. (Yes, even Brandon Vera)  The only problem with this scenario is that all four men — Shogun, Vera, Machida, and Bader — have each been decisively destroyed by Jon Jones in previous fights.

Nonetheless, this fight card is still very intriguing and offers many reasons to tune in.  First of all: It’s free on Fox. Second, all four main card bouts are likely to be exciting, fast-paced battles. It also marks the return of the very talented Mike Swick to the Octagon, who hasn’t fought in over two years. Finally, we have a chance to see a true Cinderella story play out once again as Jamie Varner gets a chance to take another huge step up in his comeback by fighting on a main card on network television. So, join me as I break down the main card for UFC on Fox 4 and offer my predictions as to who will emerge victorious.

Mike Swick (14-4, 9-3 UFC) vs. DaMarques Johnson (15-10, 4-4 UFC)

DaMarques Johnson said in the fight promo, “There’s a 50% chance I’m gonna win this fight, there’s a 100% chance that somebody’s taking a nap,” and Johnson has the track record to back it up: None of his fights in the UFC have gone the distance. The Jeremy Horn protégé has slick submission skills to go along with his heavy hands. We know Johnson will bring a fast-paced, exciting style into the Octagon, and his opponent Mike Swick will almost certainly do the same.

(The season three premiere of MMA Inside the Cage, featuring 12 killer knockouts from MMA events across the world, sent in by fans. Check it out and vote for your favorite right here.)

- Jon Jones Offers Up His Take On Saturday’s Light Heavyweight Bouts (Fightline)

- Nate Diaz Will Get the Next UFC Lightweight Title Shot (MMAJunkie)

- Dana White Thinks Matt Hughes, Forrest Griffin Should Retire (MMAFighting)

- UFC on Fox 4 Judo Chop: The Real Signature Moves of Lyoto Machida (BloodyElbow)

- Frankie Edgar’s 155 Reasons, Episode 1: ’155 Reasons In Defeat’ (HeavyMMA)

- “Great, another UFC ring girl with no ass.” (Facebook.com/CagePotato)

- Dana White: ‘Maybe You Do Rashad vs Weidman and the Winner Gets a Title Shot’ (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Olympic Weightlifter Kendrick J. Farris Will Pump You Up (MadeMan)

- The Get Back Into Training Workout (MensFitness)

- 20 Cool Things Buried in Lava (EgoTV)

- If Celebrities Had Three Boobs… [GALLERY] (WorldWideInterweb)

- This Is the Coolest Volleyball Play We’ve Ever Seen (DeadSpin)