(Hector Lombard produces the fastest K.O. in Bellator history. What, you thought Jay Silva was going to shock the world? Props: YouTube.com/BellatorMMA.)

By DL “Potential Sociopath” Richardson

Say you live in Louisiana. Not the cool part where people party their asses off every day. I’m talking about inland, where you still get the humidity, but no one dresses up before Ash Wednesday, and you can never find a place to sell you a to-go alcoholic beverage. Say you live in Monroe. What do you do for fun? Well, you could go hang out at the Pecanland Mall and hit on that cute girl at Yummy Japan, but if you have any damn sense, you catch the Bellator Fighting Championships whenever they come into town. Last night, Bellator visited the Monroe Civic Center for the semifinal round of this season’s featherweight tournament, and as usual, they put on a show. Full results and recap after the jump…

(Jay Silva and Chris Leben show off their top-of-the-food-chain striking at UFC Fight Night 20. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

By DL “It’s Latin for Warrior” Richardson

After news broke Friday that former top-10 middleweight Paulo Filho was possibly flaking out on his Bellator 18 fight against Hector Lombard, Bellator CEO Bjorn Rebney replied that his people were in contact with Filho’s people and everyone’s duckies were in a row. Filho’s story had been that he would not receive a visa in time to travel to the US for the event, and indicated that the problem was either with Bellator officials or his own management, but had nothing to do with him. He was actually kinda bummed about it, poor guy, telling GracieMag: “I’m really upset because I’ve been training a lot. I did everything just right; I don’t know what to say.”

Despite Bellator’s official line that everything is fine, and everyone should just be cool, like a couple of little Fonzies, rumors are circulating that Paulo will be replaced by 5-3 fellow Brazilian Jay Silva. Silva, who went 0-2 in the UFC against CB Dollaway and Chris Leben, was apparently Bellator’s backup just in case something happened. Like a volcano. Or Filho going all batshit crazy.

Bellator’s press agents were not immediately available for comment.

UPDATE, 12:48 p.m. ET: Rebney has confirmed the news. And so, Bellator 18′s "SuperFight" is downgraded to an "OkayFight." At least we still have the featherweight semis to look forward to.

(The best part of having a million dollar bill on your person at all times? No more ATM fees.)

By DL Richardson

File it under “W” for “We Knew This Shit Would Happen”: GracieMag.com is reporting that Pride standout turned crazy man Paulo Filho will not be able to compete at next week’s Bellator 18 show. Filho was scheduled to face current Bellator middleweight champ Hector Lombard in a non-title SuperFight, which was, on paper at least, an intriguing matchup — much more compelling than last night’s Alvarez-Neer spanking. Filho, who lists his turn-ons as “Pitbulls, tattoos, and tattoos of pitbulls,” told GracieMag that some kind of administrative snafu was to blame for his failure to secure a visa: “It seems the event took too long in sending out the letter I needed to present at the consulate and I’m not sure but it could be there was some kind of failure on the part of my managers. So, I won’t get my visa in time.”

Now, the Bellator guys have done a remarkable job of reacting to fighter travel problems once already this season: When the Icelandic volcano apocalypse prevented welterweight “Judo” Jim Wallhead from traveling to the US to participate in the tournament, Rebney quickly substituted Ryan Thomas, who’d lost by a controversial referee stoppage to Ben Askren. Ryan Thomas won, setting up a rematch with Askren in the semifinals. Whether they’ll be able to work similar magic this quickly remains to be seen, but if they manage to pull a good replacement out of their asses, it will rival anything Toby Imada does for “Submission of the Year.”

(The end of the Alvarez/Neer fight, via YouTube.com/BellatorMMA.)

By DL “Tank Abbot” Richardson

Some of Bellator’s biggest names were on the card last night at the Citi Performing Arts Center, for the first-ever major MMA show in Boston. Two semi-final matchups for the lightweight tourney were on tap, plus a 160-pound SuperFight between Eddie Alvarez and Josh Neer, and a heavyweight exhibition featuring one of Brock Lesnar‘s training dummies partners. But not everything went as planned. A full rundown of Bellator 17 is after the jump. Prepare yourselves — some crazy shit went down…

(For the next few weeks, "Comments of the Week" winners will score subscriptions to our favorite MMA-rag, Fight! Magazine. Follow Fight! on Twitter, and pick up the latest issue on newsstands now. Pictured above: "Gens" himself.)

There are some people in this world who are so socially inept and abrasive in real life that they can only function on the Internet, relying on non-relationships with total strangers via message boards and blog comments. And then, there are some people who can’t even do that right. Such is the case with "thisredengine," a truly bizarre individual who showed up here out of the blue on Tuesday, and immediately tried to impress all of you by claiming the following:

– He’s pretty well-known and respected over at BloodyElbow.com, and regularly tweets with Leland Roling. He’s pretty much an unofficial staffer there.
– MMA legend "Gens" Pulver once acknowledged something he wrote.
– He’s a jet-setting world traveler, on account of his job.
– He considers himself "one of the cool kids in the MMA community."
– He considers himself and BE’s Luke Thomas to be "a level above most in MMA conversations." The readers of this site would not be able to hang on his conversation-level.
– He ignores all comments from people he doesn’t know, which on this site would be everybody.

Though many of us (including myself) begged him to fuck off and leave us alone, he refused to fuck off. And so, new contributor ReX13 hit him with what will go down in history as the "I Have a Dream" speech of CagePotato.com…

(Rex’s "first draft," courtesy of jimbonics. Click for larger version.)

by CagePotato.com contributor DL "ReX13" Richardson

Middleweight just hasn’t been home to many exciting fights lately. Whether it’s the result of a grinding style that never goes for the finish, or simply because a fighter is apparently out of his goddamn mind, there’s been a noticeable lack of offense at 185. Bellator hoped to bring the sexy back last night, as they visited the Power & Light District in Kansas City, Missouri, for the quarterfinals of this year’s middleweight tournament. The winner of the Season Two tourney receives a title shot against current champ Hector “Shango” Lombard, who faces off with Paulo Filho in a non-title scrap on May 13th. Full Bellator XVI event recap and results are after the jump…