MMA Fighter Challenges People to Punch Him in the Face, Everyone Fails

Tag: Stephan Bonnar

UFC 153 Pay-Per-View Buys Confirm That Squash Matches Are Totally Hot Right Now


(We’re sorry, Stephan, but unless those things are actual guns, you’re getting your ass kicked tonight.) 

In the days leading up to UFC 153, many of you (and by you, we mean the entire MMA Interwebz) had some less than favorable things to say about the pairing of Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva. As if the bookies hadn’t told us all we needed to know, the general consensus among fans seemed to be the evening’s main event was a “travesty, a sham, and a mockery” that “blasphemed the great sport of MMA” and was a “completely meaningless squash match” whose “insulting pairing” would be reflected in “the abysmal pay-per-view numbers it receives.” And those were the favorable comments.

But for every fifteen of you complaining, there were apparently five or more of you who were forced to stifle your true excitement over this matchup like a pedo at a tee-ball game, because if the early numbers are any indication, squash matches featuring unstoppable killing machines are the new superfights. According to several reports, the pay-per-view numbers for UFC 153 are in the range of 340,00 to 410,000 buys. These numbers not only exceeded expectation, but are not that far below September’s squash match of the month featuring Jon Jones and Vitor Belfort, which managed to clear over 450,000 buys despite having those little guys that no one cares about fighting in the night’s co-main event.

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UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar Aftermath: Living in the Matrix


Props: mmafanmade.tumblr.com

By George Shunick

If there’s a word that sums up UFC 153, it’s got to be “wow”. Anderson Silva gave another performance indicating that we do indeed live in the Matrix. Jon Fitch was in the most exciting fight of the night, and one of the best of the year. Big Nog submitted a man impervious to jiu-jitsu. Demian Maia choked/neck-cranked a man so hard he had a mini-hemorrhage and blood spurted out of his nose. And perhaps most impressive of all, Wagner Prado actually stopped a hat thief.

The bottom line is UFC 153 was an amazing card that delivered from top to bottom. Could it have been better if it had Frankie Edgar square off against Jose Aldo? Probably. But I’ll take another transcendental show from Anderson Silva any day of the week. And that’s exactly what his fight with Stephan Bonnar was. After a slip, Bonnar pressed Silva into the cage, presumably looking to wear the smaller fighter down. Silva wasn’t having any of it, offering a few knees, shoulder shrugs and nothing else. Bonnar backed away and then things got weird. Silva remained on the fence, hands down, encouraging Bonnar to hit him.

Now, I know Stephan Bonnar isn’t the world’s greatest striker. He’s never shown serious knockout power, and his technique has never been the best. But he’s still a 230 pound man who’s spent the majority of his adult life learning how to hurt people. He’s a professional fighter. And for about 4 minutes and 40 seconds last night, those facts didn’t amount to jack shit. Silva dodged, deflected or simply absorbed Bonnar’s offense for about two minutes, demonstrating what a black belt in Tae Kwon Do is worth against a man who seems to know what you’re going to do before you do. Then, Silva decided to end the fight. He tripped Bonnar, established some separation, and then connected with a debilitating, pin-point knee to the solar plexus. Bonnar – who had never been stopped with strikes before – collapsed and waited for the end to come. Mercifully, it did.

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UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar — Live Results and Commentary


(How about dropping to your knees and begging for a swift death? Would that work? / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

The matchup between UFC middleweight champion Anderson Silva and light-heavyweight non-champion Stephan Bonnar has been called everything from a “fun fight,” to a mother’s worst nightmare. Tonight at the HSBC Center in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, we’re going to find out what this weird freak show will actually look like. Our only prediction is that Griffin Bonnar‘s first image of his father will be a bruised and lumpy one.

Luckily, there are plenty of far-more-legitimate matches on the UFC 153 main card, including Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira vs. Dave Herman, Erick Silva vs. Jon Fitch, and Glover Teixiera vs. Fabio Maldonado. And as with previous shows in Brazil, the local fans will make sure that the show is just as entertaining outside of the cage.

Round-by-round results from the UFC 153 pay-per-view broadcast will be stacking up after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT, courtesy of CagePotato liveblogger-supreme Anthony Gannon. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and be sure to tell us how you feel in the comments section. Thanks for stopping by.

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Friday Link Dump: Grisly Details on Jeremy Stephens’ Alleged Assault, Drug Testing Controversy on TUF + More


(If only the fight were held under West Coast Pose-Down rules, Bonnar would actually have a chance. / Photo via MMAFighting.com, click for full-size image.)

- Cops: Jeremy Stephens’ Alleged Victim Beaten Unconscious, Stopped Breathing Twice (MMAFighting)

UFC 153: Bonnar vs. Silva, Tex Cobb vs. Larry Holmes and Courage Through Standing in Front of a Locomotive (BloodyElbow)

- Erick Silva Talks Twilight Series, Fighting Jon Fitch (HeavyMMA)

- Jon Fitch: Getting Title Shots Is A ‘Popularity Contest’ (Fightline)

- VADA Offers Drug Testing for TUF Finale Main Event, Carwin’s Camp Says That’s News to Them (MMAWeekly)

- Bellator 76′s Rad Martinez Out to Prove He’s no ‘Charity Case’ (MMAJunkie)

- Emily Ratajkowski Gets Saucy with Sara Underwood in Carl’s Jr Ad (MensFitness)

- 30 Hilarious Animal Photobombs (Complex)

- The Ultimate Faceplants Compilation (WorldWideInterweb)

- Chefs of Anarchy: New York’s Best Fries (MadeMan)

- Christopher Walken Reads “Honey Boo Boo” (ScreenJunkies)

- Russian Soldiers Flee Exploding Ammunition Stockpiles (EgoTV)

- B*tch, Get Off My Bus: Uppercut Edition (WorldStar, Baby)

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Catch the UFC 153 Weigh-Ins Right Here Starting at 3 p.m. EST [UPDATED w/RESULTS]


(It was at the UFC 153 pre-fight press conference that Stephan Bonnar revealed his true gameplan to defeat Anderson: G.T.L.) 

All the fighters for tomorrow night’s UFC 153 event are scheduled to hit the scales starting at 3 p.m. EST this afternoon from the HSBC Arena in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, so make sure to swing by the Tater to check out all the intense, barely-clothed staredowns you could ever ask for. Did that come off as gay? Because we didn’t mean for it to come off as gay; not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Anyway, a string of injuries (go figure) and a good old fashioned case of hepatitis have dramatically altered the face of UFC 153, leaving us with a main event matchup that, when viewed through an incredibly narrow and skewed lens, is almost plausible. So swing by this afternoon to see whether or not Stephan Bonnar will piss himself after he realizes just how big of a mistake he has actually made, whether or not Anderson Silva will come dressed as a Jabbawockee again, and whether or not the Brazilian audience will still be donning their “I fucked Chael Sonnen Last Night” t-shirts. Also, be sure to swing by tomorrow at 10 p.m. EST for our official liveblog of all the action!

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Watch the Full ‘UFC 153: Silva vs. Bonnar’ Pre-Fight Press Conference Video Right Here


(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Anderson Silva, Stephan Bonnar, Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira, Dave Herman, Fabio Maldonado, and Glover Teixeira were in attendance for the UFC 153 press conference in Rio earlier today, fielding questions from a multi-national conglomerate of media professionals. The full video is above, though as you can imagine, there’s a lot of translation involved. Short version: The UFC wants to host a stadium show in Brazil next year, Anderson Silva is seriously not interested in facing Jon Jones, and Dave Herman has pretty much signed his own death warrant by insulting jiu-jitsu before a fight against Big Nog. Bonnar looks pretty chill, considering the circumstances.

Be sure to swing by CagePotato.com Saturday night beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT for our liveblog of the UFC 153 main card!

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Gambling Addiction Enabler: ‘UFC 153′ Edition


(Well, at least the poster is as half-assed as the main event.) 

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

I’ll be honest, when I first heard of the new main event for UFC 153, I thought we were all the victims of some intricate ruse on the UFC’s part. Surely the head honchos at Zuffa didn’t consider a “fun” squash match on the level of Joe Lauzon vs Jens Pulver to be the best possible option for a country that was recently denied the biggest fight of all time, right? But I guess when an injury curse on the level of 2012′s hits, you do what you can to simply stay afloat, and in that sense the UFC has succeeded.

Luckily for us, the UFC has also succeeded in putting together a card that provides plenty of opportunities to prosper from a wagering perspective as well. This time around, I will attempt to follow the lead of Jared “Money Bags” Jones, who provided both the gift and the curse for UFC on FX 5: Browne vs. Silva with his parlay picks, so follow me as I highlight a few names on the preliminary cards for Facebook and FX and breakdowns of all fights on the PPV portion of UFC 153. All betting odds come courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Facebook + FX prelims

Reza Madadi stands out in the two FB fights; Sweden has been hot in the octagon lately and I think “Mad Dog” (not Anthony Macias) at around -200 has the right combination of size and all around ground advantage to deal with Marcello’s submissions game and win his second straight UFC fight.

Gleison Tibau hovering around -160 should be able to stifle fellow Brazilian Francisco Drinaldo and find a way back into the UFC win column after dropping a hard fought loss to Khabib Nurmagomedov at UFC 148. Tibau has fought solid competition throughout his lengthy UFC career and I do not think Francisco has the right tools to win this fight. An underdog that may be worth a look is Renee Forte at around +200 against Sergio Moraes, who dropped a unanimous decision last time out due in part to his in-ring demeanor, which did not seem to go over well with the judges.

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Stephen Bonnar vs. Anderson Silva: Head-to-Head


(It’s pretty obvious who takes the “Cooler Hairstyle” category.)

It’s time for some real talk, Potato Nation. Stephan Bonnar is booking a one-way train ticket to Painsville Station on Saturday night and Anderson Silva is the conductor. I know it, you know it, the bookies know it, and your mom knows it (I asked her last night. Say hi to her for me, alright?). Matter of fact, if “The American Psycho” is simply able to come away from the fight in the same state of matter he began it in, everyone watching will unquestionably declare his performance a win for America, the UFC, and perhaps even the Caucasian race.

But this fight is about more than who’s accomplished what or who holds what title or who may or may not have lost to a decrepit Mark Coleman. There are several x-factors at play here, and when we decided to match up Stephan Bonnar and Anderson Silva for one of our infamous head to head sessions, the results might surprise you. Let’s get started.

AGE
Bonnar: 35
Silva: 37
Advantage: Bonnar

SIZE
Bonnar: 6’3″, walks around at roughly 235 lbs, 80 inch reach
Silva: 6’2″, walks around at roughly 215 lbs, 77.5 inch reach
Advantage: Bonnar

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The Big ‘What If?’: Stephen Bonnar Shocks World, Defeats Anderson Silva


(Does this look like the face of a man who is going to lose?…Probably. / Photo courtesy of Francis Specker)

By Josh Hutchinson

Well Potato Heads, we are staring down the barrel of what would on paper seem like another absurd mismatch for a PPV main event. (Speaking of which, is it just me or does it seem like freak show fights are making a comeback?) Now I could sit here and try to persuade you that this is a legitimate match-up, Stephan Bonnar totally has a chance, Anderson Silva’s heart is not in it, or some equally stupid defense as to why this fight needs to happen, but I like all of you far too much to insult your intelligence like that. For Christ’s sake, even the UFC’s official promo videos for UFC 153 are split between joking that Bonnar has no chance and not showing Bonnar at all, if that tells you anything. So instead I’m going to take a hypothetical look at what could happen if The American Psycho manages to pull off the unbelievable. Because let’s be honest, if it happens, the fallout will be of nuclear proportions. For instance…

Stephen Bonnar, The New Face of Burger King

Should Bonnar prevail, his stock will rise exponentially with sponsors. A miraculous victory over Silva would have Nike, Burger King, and many others reconsidering the amount of support and money that they have thrown at The Spider. At the same time, it would then be easy to spin Bonnar as a legend killer — and therefore a legend himself — and he can be sure to expect a few more 0’s on his future paychecks. To this point, BK has kept their Anderson commercials in Brazil, since American audiences apparently wouldn’t be able to handle a cage-fighting burger pitchman. Bonnar, with his good-guy-everyman image, could break through that wall. New commercial concept: Bonnar and Forrest Griffin get into a furious Stacker-eating contest that leaves both men exhausted, and the other restaurant patrons howling for a rematch.

Anderson Silva pulls a Gina Carano

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Comment of the Week 10/1: And the Winner Is…


(I’m sorry, Kryszszytoff, but I’m not going to promise a name to my child when I can neither spell nor pronounce it.)

Let’s be real, when we brought back the comment of the week last Friday, you were all pretty much fighting for the right to play second fiddle to Seth’s “less a writer, more a philosophizer” comment describing the benefits of loving oneself as a coping mechanism. Unfortunately for Seth, as soon as one of us signs our CagePotato contract, we are immediately excluded from winning any prizes of any kind, be it a simple comment contest or an MMA Journalist of the Year award, which is clearly why not one of us have ever been so much as nominated in the category.

But we had to pick a winner eventually, so head after the jump to see which one of you will be receiving a gold medal for coming in second place…

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