Yes, friends and neighbors, there’s a fighter on the upcoming season of The Ultimate Fighterwho has done porn — and not the normal kind, either. Since it’s a slow news week, this TUF 15 sub-plot has blown up to monumental proportions on MMA forums, but let’s put this in perspective: Dakota Cochrane isn’t the first MMA fighter to pick up some extra cash by appearing in adult films, and he probably won’t be the last. Send the kids out of the room, and follow us on a journey through the porn/MMA continuum…
Well, for once it turned out Dan Quinn wasn’t just bullshitting us. The World’s Most Craziest Man really did fight UFC vet and former reality TV star Aaron Brink in some kind of bizarre-o “striking only” bout last night. Not to ruin it for you, but the results are sadly predictable for anyone who knows, in general, what a bad idea it is to sanction a fight featuring A) A crazy man or B) A guy who just got out of jail. In this case, Dan Quinn falls into both categories. (Ed. Note: Somewhere in the bowels of the San Diego lock-up, I hope you’re paying attention, War Machine. This is your future.)
Perhaps the California State Athletic Commission has some kind of minimum required amount of mental illness that must be present in the cage at all times, because some genius opted to let our man Sensei Cecil referee this bad boy. Homey plays it pretty straight during the first round, but then breaks out his patented karate chop to begin round two. If you don’t want further spoilers, don’t follow the jump until after you’ve watched the “fight.”
After spending 45 days in county jail, Dan Quinn is a free man and he’s wasting no time getting his blood saturated with lines of Stevia and homemade weed butter while rehabbing his injured shoulder with an electronic muscle stimulator.
In this segment, the inventor of Pure H20 tm addresses President Obama (because we all know Barack subscribes to Dan’s YouTube page), talks about how the drink crystals in jail gave him receding nipples and mutters something about wanting to be like TimeCop so he can go back and fight Jack Dempsey, but for the most part he didn’t have anything interesting to say except that he’s planning on fighting stoned in his upcoming stand-up only superfight with Aaron "the fighter-turned-pornstar-turned-junkie on the" Brink.
All I’m saying is somebody better film it, because it’s going to be awesome if it happens.
Aaron was a mixed martial arts champion, but at the height of his career he started working in adult films. Through the porn scene, Aaron was introduced to crystal meth. His daily habit took over and he lost both his film and fighting careers. He now spends his days using drugs and watching porn for hours on end, and his wife is at the end of her rope.
For the unfamiliar, Aaron Brink was a very promising heavyweight striker who fought at UFC 28 against Andrei Arlovski (who was also making his UFC debut that night) and was once paid $250,000 for beatingMike Bourke. For some reason he started doing porn just as he was finally getting his first decent win streak together, and unfortunately got into drugs. A contract with New Era Fighting that would have potentially paid him a cool million to beat Kimo Leopoldo never panned out, and he hasn’t fought since March 2007. His episode of Intervention (which you should be watching anyway) airs on A&E this coming Monday at 9 p.m. ET / 8 p.m. CT. Video of the Brink/Arlovski fight is after the jump.