(Step 1. Absorb EVERY kick, Step 2. ??????, Step 3. Profit. Props to the brilliant cine-files over at Pajiba for the inspiration behind this article.) 

Mixed martial arts fans are perhaps the most ruthless group of people out there; a quick scroll down any one of our comments sections only confirms this. One minute, a certain fighter is praised as a ruthless, badass hombre cut from the same cloth as the greatest champions the sport has ever known, and the next, they’re being told to save themselves the embarrassment of another performance and just retire already. It’s a crazy sport.

But then there are those few and far between fighters that we choose to rally behind regardless of where they currently stand in the MMA ranking system. Sometimes it’s simply because they can make us laugh, and other times it’s their “go for broke” mentality that wins us over. Sure, they’ve dropped seven of their last eight, including one to a drunken bar patron who accidentally stumbled into the ring, but all of those fights were like totally awesome, bro, so who are we to complain when they are kept around while other, more talented fighters are let go?

Here are eight fighters we will continue to root for, no matter how quickly their performances make us silently wish otherwise.

#8 – Aaron Riley

(Even when Riley *doesn’t* lose a fight, he still loses the fight.) 
Current record: 30-13-1
Record in last five fights: 2-3

Aaron Riley’s nickname could very well be “TUF Fodder,” because the man has fought nothing but The Ultimate Fighter alums, and often winners, for the better part of his UFC career. And it’s a shame, because the dude always brings the fight to these whippersnappers, but simply hasn’t been able to put any of them away. Most recently, he had his jaw broken again by TUF 13 winner Tony Ferguson at UFC 135. Back at UFC 105, he was made into mince meat by TUF 9 winner Ross Pearson. Set to square off against, you guessed it, TUF 12 alum Cody McKenzie, at UFC on FUEL 3 in May, Riley may be looking at his final chance to prove he can hang with these young guns before he is demoted to the Strikeforce roster. Speaking of a certain Alaskan native…

DW’s infamous vlog’s are back ladies and gentlemen, and it seems his aforementioned pattern of showing loads of footage from the previous UFC event is holding true, this time with UFC 135. It’s hard to even call these Danavlog’s anymore because besides his introduction, The Baldfather doesn’t even make an appearance until 7 minutes into the video. Though I must admit, it is pretty interesting to see the post fight medical examinations, especially Aaron Riley’s, who, after spitting up as much blood as he can manage, declares he’d rather not have his jaw wired shut again. As a fan of solid food, I can’t really blame the guy.

If you’re too busy to watch the entire video, come check out a few of our notes after the jump:

In: “I WANT MY BELT BACK!” Out: “There’s gone be some black on black crime.” VidProps: UFC/YouTube

Check this out: official UFC propaganda would have us believe that Rampage Jackson is actually out there somewhere working. They even have the nerve to pause on a calendar square labeled “JIU JITSU”, when we all know damn well that ‘Page would pull guard right after he lets someone hold an umbrella for him.

On the other hand, we’re pretty sure we’ve found the guy shooting footage of Jackson and passing it on to Jones.

Bones v Rampage goes down in just 22 days, and there’s plenty of action to keep you occupied until then.

The full UFC 135 card is after the jump.

(Video courtesy of YouTube/TapouTVTC)

By Cage Potato special contributor Mike Schmitz

Greg Jackson knows the nuances of MMA training as well as anyone in the MMA industry. He’s developed 10 champions, including current UFC titleholders Jon Jones and George St-Pierre, and is now taking his mixed martial arts pedigree to TapouT VTC where he offers members online MMA training videos breaking down the ins and outs of the technical aspects of the sport.

TapouT VTC rolled out a new MMA training video today in which Jackson demonstrates the Omoplata Sweep and goes step-by-step through exactly how to execute it.

“I really advocate using the omoplata as a primary sweep position secondary submission,” Jackson said in the video above. “You’re going to go after the sweep first and if that fails you can kind of come after that submission.”

(Riley’s last tangle with a TUF winner didn’t work out too well for his face. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

The UFC confirmed last night that Tony Ferguson — who won last season of the Ultimate Fighter by knocking out four dudes consecutively in the welterweight bracket — will make his Octagon return on the UFC 135: Jones vs. Rampage card (September 24th, Denver). Now competing at lightweight, Ferguson is slated to meet Team Jackson veteran Aaron Riley (30-12-1, 3-4 UFC), who hasn’t fought since his unanimous decision win over Joe Brammer last May at UFC 114. Riley was scheduled to face Pat Audinwood at UFC 119 later that year but had to withdraw due to injury.

It won’t be the first time that Riley has been drafted to act as a gatekeeper for a brand-new TUF winner. In November 2009 at UFC 105, he faced TUF 9 lightweight champ Ross Pearson and lost by doctor’s stoppage TKO. Between Riley’s inconsistent performances and long layoff, it seems like the UFC is counting on him to make their new prospect look good. Can ‘El Cucuy’ knock out another one?

The current list of UFC 135′s reported matchups is after the jump…

(Write on his boots at your own peril. Photo courtesy of urdirt.com.)

After winning a unanimous decision over Andre Winner at the TUF 9 finale to score the season’s lightweight contract, former Team U.K. member Ross Pearson is set to begin his post-TUF career at UFC 105 (November 14th, Manchester). MMA Weekly reports that Pearson will take on Aaron Riley, who’s coming off his own decision win against Shane Nelson at UFC 101.

Team U.K. will be dominating the Manchester card, with welterweight winner James Wilks reportedly fighting Matt Brown, lightweight runner-up Andre Winner booked against Roli Delgado, and coach Michael Bisping slated to fight Denis Kang in the co-headlining bout; the card’s main event hasn’t yet been determined. Elsewhere on the card, Team U.S.A. welterweight nemesis DaMarques Johnson takes on German fighter Peter Sobotta, Paul Kelly faces Dennis Siver — another German fighter; do we detect an Allies vs. Axis theme? — and rising welterweight star Dan Hardy will likely fight Dong Hyun Kim. The event is expected to be broadcast for free on Spike.

Related: "I am going to go for the KO like Hendo!…To me he is not ‘cocky Michael Bisping,’ he is just a sack of flesh and bones across the Octagon that I am waiting to pound on." — Denis Kang

(Props: zmmajunky)

As ‘zombiekilla’ mentioned in the comments section of the last post, UFC 101‘s real Fight of the Night took place in the crowd, when a group of meatheaded douchebags got a little too caught up in the action and began warring amongst themselves. As security intervened, a female meatheaded douchebag swung her purse at some other broad, then went after her with furious Brock Lesnar-style hammerfists. Everyone in the vicinity roared their approval and watched it play out, paying no attention to the Aaron Riley/Shane Nelson scrap that was going on inside the Octagon.

And so, we must amend Dana White’s beloved four corners analogy: If people are playing soccer on one corner, basketball on the second corner, street hockey on the third corner, a bunch of drunk Philadelphians are throwing haymakers on the fourth corner, and a professional mixed martial arts contest is taking place in the center of the street, people will watch the meatheads brawl every time. That’s how we know this is the sport of the future.

Unrelated, but important: Forrest Griffin‘s camp confirmed that the fighter suffered a broken jaw and partial hearing loss during his whuppin’ at the hands of Anderson Silva, and sprinted out of the cage in order to seek immediate medical attention. Well, we’re sorry to hear that, but Quinton Jackson still thinks you’re a ‘LOSER!!’

MMA Weekly confirmed with Griffin’s management that Griffin’s jaw was not injured, but "emotionally he is definitely not dealing well with the loss."

(As if this wasn’t humiliating enough, Jason was also forced to pay for his own rape kit. [What, too soon?] Photo courtesy of MMAWeekly.)

— Recent reports have indicated that middleweight Jason Day and welterwight Josh Burkman are the latest fighters to be canned by the UFC. Though Day won his UFC debut against Alan Belcher last April, he then lost back-to-back fights against Michael Bisping and Kendall Grove, both by first-round TKO. Burkman’s exit is even less surprising, as his loss to Pete Sell at UFC 90 was his third-straight Octagon defeat. Akihiro Gono was also cut last month after dropping two straight.

— After bumbling regional ref Rick Fike stopped their first fight way too early, lightweights Aaron Riley and Shane Nelson will get another chance to tangle at UFC 101 (August 8th, Philadelphia). Nelson was awarded a TKO victory at UFC 96 after knocking Riley to the mat in the first round, but Riley immediately invoked the "what the fuck is your problem?" rule and the crowd backed him up with chants of "Bullshit!"

(Another otherwise-lovely photo ruined by red-eye. Props to JunieBrowning.com.)

TUF 8‘s man-you-love-to-hate is close to finalizing his next Octagon appearance. Junie Browning and TUF 5 castmember Cole Miller have reportedly agreed to face each other at UFC Fight Night 18 (April 1st, Nashville). Still a perfect 3-0 as a professional, Browning most recently submitted Dave Kaplan via armbar at last month’s TUF 8 finale, and has been trying to get his game tightened up at Xtreme Couture in Las Vegas. Miller (14-3) is an American Top Team member who last fought at UFC 86 in July, where he choked out Jorge Gurgel. Sounds like a solid step up in competition for "The Lunatik" — will he rise to the challenge?

In other fight-bookin’ news…

— UFC Fight Night 18 will also host a middleweight bout between Ricardo Almeida and Matt Horwich, who are both coming off losses. Almeida dropped a split decision to Patrick Cote at UFC 86, while former IFL champion Horwich lost a decision to Dan Miller in his Octagon debut at UFC 90. As accomplished and talented as both fighters are, the loser might find himself without a contract.

— Junie Browning’s Team Mir drinking buddy Shane Nelson, who clawed out a split decision victory over George Roop at the TUF 8 finale, is being brought back to take on Aaron Riley at UFC 96 (March 7th, Columbus). Just like Cole Miller, Riley’s last appearance was also a win over Jorge Gurgel, at UFC 91 in November. Poor Jorge Gurgel.