Steroids in MMA
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Tag: action figure

Gina Carano Getting Her Own Round 5 Figure

(An excuse to post this picture again?  Why not.)

Round 5 sent out a press release today announcing Gina Carano as the newest addition to their stable of fighters willing to be made into disproportionate MMA action figures.  Carano is the first female fighter to sign on with Round 5, and they expect her figure to drop along with their fourth series this summer.

In the release Carano says the normal stuff about how excited she is to be a part of this, so on and so forth, and then there’s this: “When I was a little girl my dad always joked about making a ‘Gina doll’ and I smile when I think it has become a reality.”  

He joked about making a doll of his daughter?  As in, for her?  Or just, you know, to have around the house, in case anything happened to the original?  I don’t get it, but I find it vaguely troubling.


Bring a Little Kimbo Slice Home With You

(Inaccuracy #1: this doll appears to be smiling. And we all know smiling’s for pussies.)

Yahoo’s Maggie Hendricks located this creepy Kimbo Slice doll on Ebay today, and then had the good sense to share it with the world. The seller, “chuteboxegod”, has this to say about the six-inch figurine:

This is a one of a kind custom KIMBO SLICE action figure
aprox. 6 inches.
Pimp Fist Chain included!!

Beard is hand sculpted for extreme realism.

Shorts have sponsor patches (Triumph United etc).
Figure is durable and ready to play with!!
Recreate your favorite Kimbo moments with this figure.

As Kimbo would say “Let’s run this SH!T!!”
cage not included

Chuteboxegod, you had me at hand-sculpted beard. As for recreating my favorite Kimbo moments, do you have plans for an Afro Puff figurine any time soon? I already have my own miniature boat salvage yard to put them in. What? I have to fill my free time somehow.


MySpace Update: Chuck Liddell’s Footlong Doll


Your eyes do not deceive you — what you’re looking at is an an action figure crafted in the likeness of Chuck Liddell. If you’re not already convinced that this is something you need to have, allow Chuck himself to sell the hell out of it, via a bulletin sent from his Myspace page:

This is a prototype and these are price fixed because there was only 3000 made. This means the price will never change but will go up. Don’t buy those little six inch action figures, these are a full 12 inch haha. Seriously, these were made really well even if they exaggerated my body a little. Go to to order yours and remember it helps a good cause as many of these go to charity.

I read those first two sentences four times before I quit and poured myself a glass of Scotch. Apparently, Chuck uses the word “never” to mean “sometimes.” (To say nothing about his shaky verb conjugation.) Also, I’m not sure what to take away from “it helps a good cause as many of these go to charity.” I wouldn’t assume that the profits go to charity — maybe the dolls that Chuck can’t move get dropped off at the Salvation Army? Better than nothing, I suppose.

In a follow-up bulletin to remind his e-pals to buy his doll, he tries to clarify the “price fixed” thing: “This means the price will never be below $49.99, ever unless someone want to lose money.”

You’d think I was screwing up the subject/verb agreements and misplacing the commas myself to make Chuck look stupid. Let me just say for the record — there’s a little something called “journalistic integrity,” and I have too much of it to stoop to such depths. I will, however, advise you against purchasing a Chuck Liddell action figure on when “price fixed” is defined as it is above. I wouldn’t want to enter my credit card information and hit “complete order,” only to find that I’ve been charged $649.99 because I’ve caught the dolls on a day when the prices are up. You see, Chuck’s established a minimum price ($49.99, unless someone want to lose money), but says nothing about a maximum price. Buyer beware, that’s all I’m saying.