tallkitchenbags on "First Look: ‘The Expendables’ Trailer":
They should make a sequel starring Ben Rothwell, Roy Nelson and Tim Sylvia called The Expandables.

beginus maximus on "Even as a Baby, Brock Lesnar Would Swallow You Without Chewing":
"I’m gonna go home and drink SIMILAC cause ENFAMIL don’t pay me. Hell I might even jump on my mother’s tit tonight!!"

cwr on "What Your Favorite Fighter Says About You, Part II":
If your favorite fighter is Nick Gonzalez you would rather jerk off then get to know a woman.
[Ed. note: Man, talk about bringin' it back.]

Wyatt on "Hot Fighter Alert: Mika Nagano":
If she wore a school girl outfit and beat some enormous freak on New Year’s eve via Aoki-plata, Japan would just f*cking explode.

GetUpAndKill on "Hot Fighter Alert: Mika Nagano":
Ok Ok, so nobody noticed that her penis is wearing a watch?

If you’re a winner and you want a CagePotato t-shirt, send your name, address, and shirt-size to feedback@cagepotato.com and we’ll hook you right up.

(In retrospect, Dan should have never accepted that "Hertz Donut." Photo courtesy of AllElbows.)

The feeding frenzy continues, as the WEC and UFC have reportedly picked up a few more solid additions in the wake of Affliction’s demise. Here’s the latest…

— According to Sherdog, the featherweight bout between Javier Vazquez and L.C. Davis that was supposed to take place during the undercard of "Trilogy" will now take place at WEC 42: Torres vs. Bowles (August 9th, Las Vegas). Vazquez (13-2) is a former King of the Cage and Gladiator Challenge champion who most recently choked out Mark Kergosian in 19 seconds at last month’s Ultimate Chaos show; it was just his third fight since 2003. Davis (also 13-2) is an IFL vet whose most recent decision loss to Michihiro Omigawa at Sengoku 7 in March dropped him from our featherweight top ten list.

(In light of this fight being moved from a ring to a cage, "Babalu" would now like to amend his statement about where Mousasi will be peeing.)

Good news, fight fans.  Attempts at salvaging the wreckage of the cursed S.S. Affliction have already resulted in the resurrection of one main card bout.  The scheduled fight between Renato “Babalu” Sobral and Gegard Mousasi has now officially been picked up by Strikeforce for their August 15 event in San Jose.  Strikeforce sent out a press release announcing the addition this afternoon, and confirming that Sobral’s Strikeforce light heavyweight championship will be on the line.  Naturally, this puppy has been added to the televised portion of the card, so the outlook just got a little brighter for Strikeforce despite some recent holes appearing in the lineup.

So there’s one good fight we’ll still get to see.  Now Strikeforce’s big question is what to do about Nick Diaz, who lost his scheduled opponent when Joe Riggs had to pull out.  At least two good welterweights just had their calendars free up when the Affliction cancelation left Jay Hieron and Paul “Semtex” Daley without a place to beat each other up.  Might one of them swoop in to try their luck against Diaz?  We’re expecting to hear something on that one soon, so don’t wander off…

(Afterwards, Emelianenko personally invited Rogers to Stary Oskol for a tour of his playground training facility followed by a private meatloaf-eating contest. Props: sports.sho.com)

For a brief moment last week, it seemed like Brett Rogers had a decent shot at replacing Josh Barnett in the main event of Affliction: Trilogy (R.I.P.). Fedor wanted it, the fans wanted it (at least more than they wanted to see Emelianenko take on middleweight Vitor Belfort), and hey, at least it would be better than canceling the event altogether, right? Then, the rug was pulled out from everyone’s feet. Team Bison owner/head trainer Mike Reilly made a long post on FiveOuncesofPain over the weekend to answer questions and explain the Grim’s role in the behind-the-scenes negotiations. Some highlights…

On how Rogers first came up as a possible replacement: "We never asked to fight Fedor. We are under contract with Strikeforce and happy to be [with] Strikeforce. We have not sought any bouts outside of Strikeforce. We were however approached to fight Fedor by Affliction. Of course we agreed to the fight immediately provided all the details could be worked out among the many parties involved."

On Fedor: "He is the unqualified best in the game. The quintessential fighter. Accepting a fight against him on nine days notice may seem foolish or simply a money move; but it is not. The bottom line is you never know when, or if you will get another chance. Brett is not in this game to be good, he is not in it to be great; his goal is to be the best. How, as a fighter, could he have turned down the possibility of taking his greatest test? No chance he walks away from that opportunity. When Fedor mentioned Brett by name as the replacement he wanted we were very honored."

(Whaddaya say, best buds again?)

So after this morning’s news that Affliction: Trilogy was being canceled altogether you might be asking, ‘Sup Affliction?  You going to promote any more shows ever?  You going to give any money to those fighters you just screwed?  And what does this do to your relationship with Strikeforce and the UFC?  Judging by recent developments, Affliction’s answer to all those questions would probably be, ‘Shit, man, I don’t know.  Can you just take me home?’

Basically, it’s a mess right now.  The stories are coming in from all sides and some of them are changing by the hour.  Allow us to try and make sense of it:

(Props: BJPenn.com)

Getting busted on a random steroid test and running an MMA organization into the ground may seem like fun and games to you, Josh Barnett. But it’s not so funny to all the fighters who depended on "Affliction: Trilogy" for a paycheck and some much-needed exposure. The above video shows an in-shock Rafaello "Tractor" Oliveira, breaking the bad news to BJ Penn; Oliveira was scheduled to face Takanori Gomi on the event’s main card, in what would have been the most high-profile (and, we’d assume, well-paying) fight of his career by a wide margin. Now he’s back to square one, and swallowing his sadness. Tough break, man.

But hope remains in the BJ Penn camp…

(In retrospect, the search for possible replacement opponents was getting ridiculous.)

We can all stop speculating and arguing over who should replace Josh Barnett against Fedor Emelianenko on next Saturday’s Affliction: Trilogy fight card.  That’s because there isn’t going to be an Affliction: Trilogy fight card, says SI.com’s Josh Gross.  Apparently Tom Atencio and Co. just decided to go the cut-our-losses route and called the whole thing off.  Fighters were notified this morning, or at least their representatives were, since fighters don’t typically get up before 11 am.  This morning though, they may have jolted out of bed with the strange, unpleasant feeling you get when a bunch of money has just slipped out of your grasp.

Looks like our Saturday night just freed up for next weekend.  Anyone want to go bowling or something?

(Loosely translated it means: ‘Screw this drug-testing stuff, I’m going back to Japan where they know how to treat a brother.’)

The good news for Affliction is that people are talking.  Josh Barnett’s failed steroid test and the ensuing media storm has, at the very least, gotten Affliction’s third event in the news.  This week Josh Barnett was #73 on the Google Trends list.  That put him well behind search topics such as “Michelle Obama haircut” (#29) and “dog takes baby from crib” (#25), but the point is, there’s some buzz now.

The bad news is that the buzz is mostly surrounding the one guy who we know will not be fighting Fedor Emelianenko next weekend.  Maybe the interest extends to the panicked search for a new opponent, at least for some people.  But who, aside from the hardcores who already know why Brett Rogers would be a sort of okay opponent and Paul Buentello wouldn’t, is willing to pursue it that far?

(Don Frye doesn’t offer mustache rides. He merely takes applications and approves or denies them based on merit, need, and whether or not you are a gross fat chick.)

As much as we’ve been enjoying all the back and forth about who will and who won’t fight Fedor next weekend, it just seemed as though it hadn’t gotten quite absurd enough yet.  And then Don Frye chimed in:

"If Tom (Atencio) was smart, he’d have me fighting Fedor instead of whoever he’s hiring on a one week notice.  My phone works if he wants a real fight with someone who sell a fight in four days, somebody who will beat that bald-headed commie too. …He ain’t seen anything I have to offer.  He built his whole reputation (as a) waffle house chef. They’ve been serving him up ham and eggs with a side of canned tomatoes. I’ll bring it. And if he can bring it, you’ll have the best fight you’ve ever seen on the planet."

I’m sorry, bald-headed commie?  Waffle house chef?  Best fight you’ve ever seen on the planet?  And that’s just off the top of his head, people.  Imagine what he could do with a week to prepare some material and really build momentum.

(‘Furthermore, I’d like to say that there’s at least a chance that I didn’t do anything wrong, and I am kind of committed to partially clearing my name of most of these possibly erroneous charges.’)

Here’s what’s weird about the statement Josh Barnett made on his MySpace blog this morning with regards to his current steroid-related licensing issues in California: never does he actually come out and say that he didn’t do it.  At best, Barnett implies his innocence.  He suggests that he was surprised to have failed the steroid test, but stops short of saying that it would have been impossible for him to have popped positive.  In a sporting world where we all just expect athletes to vehemently deny steroid use right up until conclusive proof emerges, this is not a good sign.  Check it out and see what we mean:

Many of you are wondering what’s happening.  What I can say is that when applying for my license, the CSAC asked for me to submit a urine sample for testing prior to granting my license as they do with everyone, I believe. It was not a random test. I had no reason to believe there would be any issues and went in to submit my sample at the earliest possible opportunity on June 25th.  I never once thought there would be a problem.

(Meanwhile, Fedor’s urine test came up positive for vodka and childlike wonderment. Props to M1.)

Fedor Emelianenko and his manager, M-1 Global president Vadim Finkelchtein, held a press conference today in Moscow to assure fans that contrary to recent reports, he is still alive. Kidding, y’all. Actually, they met with Russian media to answer questions about this Josh Barnett clusterfuck. Some highlights:

On Barnett: “I feel disappointed about this situation. But I will fight anyone who Affliction puts in front of me. I know a lot of fans waited for this fight to happen and I am sorry for them. I can’t do much about it now but I am in good shape, my training has been good and continues to go well…There was no specific manner to prepare for the planned bout with Josh Barnett. It’s all the same: standup and ground game… Undoubtedly, it’s better to know the name of your opponent long before the fight.”

On Barnett’s Replacement: “By the end of the evening we expect to officially announce who’ll be the replacement for Barnett. Vitor Belfort agreed to come in principle. We personally entertain the idea of having Brett Rogers step in since he knocked Andrei Arlovski out. But if there is any problem with Rogers, then it’s pretty safe to say it’s going to be Belfort. However, we are well aware of the fact that fans don’t consider Vitor Belfort to be a suitable replacement, according to a recent Sherdog poll*…Belfort can make heavyweight but the fans don’t want this fight. Fedor isn’t seeking an easy fight. If logistics weren’t an issue, we’d like to see Fedor fight against Brett Rogers. Fans want it (and) so do we.”

(At least people would believe him if he offered the old ‘I just wanted to look ripped on TV’ defense.)

On today’s Affliction conference call Tom Atencio said he had no idea what the “banned substance” was that Josh Barnett tested positive for, but added that they were supposedly in the process of testing his second sample and Barnett planned to appeal the results.  Zak Woods over at Watch Kalib Run has a press release from the CSAC that sheds some light on the issue by confirming what everyone except Nick Diaz already assumed – the banned substance was a steroid:

Barnett’s June 25 drug test came back positive for 2a-methyl-5a-androstan-3a-ol-17-one, an anabolic steroid. CSAC learned of the results July 21 and immediately denied a license for Barnett. …Barnett’s test was observed in the presence of a CSAC representative and the sample was sent to the World Anti-doping Agency test facility at the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) on June 25 for processing. CSAC was notified of the results yesterday.

So there it is, right?  Only this is the CSAC we’re talking about, and it’s never that easy with them.

(Oh, what could have been…)

According to TheFightNetwork, Fedor Emelianenko vs. Vitor Belfort is really happening:

Affliction VP Tom Atencio did not make reference to this replacement — or make any other earth-shattering announcements — on today’s conference call, which you can get a summary of here. Meanwhile, undefeated bruiser (and actual heavyweight) Brett Rogers did in fact throw his name out as an option. A source told SI’s Josh Gross that the Grim was asking for "a purse approaching at least the $800,000 Affliction Entertainment paid Sylvia to fight Emelianenko." Affliction, it seems, respectfully declined.

(Props: youtube.com/afflictionvideos via MMA Fanhouse)

It’s a small comfort in light of the canceled main event, but at least Affliction: Trilogy (if it is indeed still happening) will feature an important light-heavyweight bout between Renato "Babalu" Sobral and Gegard Mousasi. The above video promo paints the two fighters as polar opposites: Sobral is the hardy veteran who’s fought everybody and seen it all; the dangerous grappler who’s just as interesting outside of the ring. Mousasi is the young and confident striker who responds to every interview question with a deadpan shrug. It’s a clash of styles that will either solidify Sobral’s status as one of the best 205-pounders in the world, or prove that Mousasi can be dominant in a new weight class. "I’m the guy who wants to hurt him," Mousasi says, "[Sobral] only wants to submit me." Babalu responds with some of his trademark craziness: "If he talks shit, he gonna pee in the ring. If he doesn’t, he’s gonna pee anyway." Yikes. Gegard’s Bladder, you’ve just been put on notice…

After the jump: A preview of the middleweight bout that might not happen anymore — Vitor Belfort vs. Jorge Santiago.

("Mostly-natural, baby!" Photo courtesy of MMA Mania.)

Bad news for MMA fans — and disastrous news for Affliction’s MMA promotion. Sherdog is reporting that the California State Athletic Commission will not license Josh Barnett for his fight against Fedor Emelianenko at next Saturday’s Affliction: Trilogy event due to a "positive test result." We’re assuming that means steroids and not Hep B or something, though the CSAC promises to release a detailed statement today. Barnett, who was stripped of his UFC heavyweight title in 2002 for anabolic steroid use, was surprised by the news: 

(Rafaello "Tractor" Oliveira highlight reel. He’s handled Big Big and Fabio Fabio, but will he be able to handle the Fireball Kid?)

After a proposed catchweight bout between Takanori Gomi and Brett Cooper went up in smoke, Affliction has added a lightweight match between Gomi and Rafaello Oliveira to the Affliction: Trilogy fight card page of their official website. Gomi’s name has a suspicious-looking asterisk next to it, but the meaning of that asterisk isn’t defined, and the bout is being reported as official.

Gomi is coming off of a second-round KO victory over Takashi Nakakura at Shooto Tradition Final in May, which followed back-to-back losses in Sengoku. Oliveira has an 8-1 record, fighting mostly in regional leagues in Brazil and North America; he made one appearance in a ShoXC Challenger Series event last year, where he lost to Fancy Pants Beerbohm via doctor’s stoppage TKO. On paper, Oliveira should get crushed by Gomi. In reality…well, he’ll probably still get crushed. This matchup seems to have been made for the benefit of nostalgic PRIDE fans who want to see the Fireball Kid smoke somebody. The current Trilogy card — which is looking pretty damn entertaining from the main event to the prelims — is after the jump.

(Props: Cage Writer)

Things haven’t exactly panned out for Affliction in the MMA promoting business.  They’re closing in on their third show in a little over a year’s time and they have yet to figure out how to gets fans in the arena without paying ridiculous fighter salaries that almost guarantee they’ll take a loss on the event.  So what do they do to improve the old bottom line?  They go back to what they know best: gaudy, overpriced t-shirts. 

But apparently Affliction feels they’ve accomplished all they can in the field of pro fighting, and they’re now moving on to the NFL.  What you see above there is the Washington Redskins “Affliction Warrior tee.”  Yes, they are seriously trying to sell that for $31.99.  And yes, we realize that’s actually a price cut for Affliction gear.  Are NFL Affliction t-shirts bound to be the next big thing in pro football sports apparel?  We’re going to go out on a limb here and say no.  Here are three good reasons why:

(Jorge Santiago gets to his feet after choking out Kazuo Misaki in the fifth round of their title fight at Sengoku no Ran 2009, while UFC superfan Satoshi Ishii [bottom left] tries to comprehend what the hell he just witnessed. Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

After racking up five-straight wins in Sengoku and earning the promotion’s middleweight belt, American Top Team fighter Jorge Santiago will be making his U.S. return at Affliction’s third event on August 1st. MMA Weekly has confirmed that the top-ten-ranked 185′er — who has gone 9-0 since leaving the UFC in 2006 — will collide with Vitor Belfort in a match that’s expected to be on "Trilogy"’s main card.

Formerly a light-heavyweight competitor in the UFC, PRIDE, and Cage Rage, Belfort has gone 2-0 as a middleweight in Affliction, with knockout victories over Terry Martin (at "Banned" last July) and Matt Lindland (at "Day of Reckoning" in January). With this bout in place, the pay-per-view lineup for Affliction’s third and not final MMA event is looking pretty kickass. Get caught up after the jump…

(His mouthpiece says "DEATH." His shorts say "CONDOM DEPOT." Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

With Gegard Mousasi and Vitor Belfort‘s weight-related bitch-fest producing nothing positive, Affliction has scrapped the match and moved on. MMA Weekly has now confirmed that Mousasi will be instead be taking on #6-ranked light-heavyweight Renato "Babalu" Sobral at Affliction’s third MMA event (August 1st; Anaheim, California). Not exactly an easy first fight at light-heavyweight for the Young Vagabond, but he’s already 1-0 in the highly competitive Super Hulk division, so don’t count him out. At any rate, the fight against Babalu should tell us a lot about how Mousasi will fare as 205-pounder.

(‘So how about if, like, at first I’ll let you beat me up some, then I start to come back, but I go for an elbow off the top rope and miss, right?  And then at the end, well, I haven’t decided who should win yet, but we’ll figure it out. Just saying though, it’d be more of a shock if it was me.’)

Affliction COO Michael Cohen contacted Fanhouse’s Ariel Helwani (and you know the situation is dire when people are actually calling Ariel rather than the other way around) to let us all know that there is absolutely no truth to the persistent rumor that Affliction III will be the organization’s last MMA event.  The fact that they’ve named it “Trilogy”?  Nah son, you shouldn’t read too much into that, says Cohen: “Trilogy just means that this is the third. This is the third of the series.”

Yeah, that’s the standard use of the word ‘trilogy.’  It refers to the third installment in a long and profitable series that continues to pump out new editions several times a year.  Like the “Lord of the Rings” trilogy and “The Godfather” trilogy.  Oh, wait.

(Image courtesy of AfflictionClothing.com via MMA Mania)

As our friend Kris Karkoski points out, "Naming the third Affliction event ‘Trilogy’ sure makes it sound like this is going to be their last card." Very true, though at least they’re finally giving us the fight we’ve been waiting for — of course I’m speaking of Dan Lauzon vs. Chris Horodecki. (Fedor Emelianenko vs. Josh Barnett should be a decent scrap as well.) As we reported earlier, "Trilogy" may feature that rumored somethingweight fight between Gegard Mousasi and Vitor Belfort, and the poster also promises appearances by Tim Sylvia, Ben Rothwell, Paul Buentello, and Renato Sobral.

Don’t worry guys, Dana already has you down on his tombstone…

(It’s time you and Vitor had a talk about that investment portfolio he’s been managing for you. You better sit down for this.)

Just a day after former Dream middleweight champ Gegard Mousasi told everyone that he was fighting Vitor Belfort at Affliction III this summer, Belfort has responded by saying that Mousasi needs to put down the fork if the two of them are to have any shot of getting it on. Talking to those clever translators at Tatame who can make any foray into the English language an adventure, Belfort said he hasn’t gotten any confirmation from Affliction regarding his next fight, but added:

(Josh’s "retarded proctologist" bit always brought a half-smile to Fedor’s face. Photo courtesy of fcfighter.com)

Yes, Affliction has yanked away the proverbial football a couple times before, but according to a new report on MMA Fanhouse, Fedor Emelianenko and Josh Barnett are really, truly going to fight this summer — we hope:

(Check out the high kick from Tom at the end.  It sure freaked the cameraman out and shut his whole operation down. Props: MMA Videos.)

Yeah, that’s Tom Atencio in the camo trunks getting his scrap on against David Martinez back in 2005.  You have to like the intensity and aggression from t-shirt guy.  He is not afraid to come right after you, guns a-blazin’.  He went on the win this fight via decision and it cemented his place as the rare fight promoter who actually has the grapefruits to get in and fight.  But apparently the positive attention that’s been coming his way since he agreed to his second MMA fight has only emboldened him to get more proactive about painting Dana White as a total punk.  First he suggested that maybe Dana should try being an actual tough guy, rather than just talking like one.  And now he’s stopping just short of issuing a full-on challenge.