(Tomax, meet Xamot. Photo via Getty Images.)

Look, we know we’ve been declaring a lot of things to be “ironic” around here lately, but this…this is just ridiculous.

On yesterday’s edition of UFC Tonight, Ariel Helwani revealed that middleweight contender and prestigious member of the citizenry, Sir Michael of Bisping — the very same who once scribed that a certain dullard from Mississippi had “given himself a career-threatening eye-strain by watching too much internet porn” — has suffered an identical deformation. Even worse, the injury came as a result of a tussle with the very same dullard whom “The Count” both rebuked for said addiction to thinking machine-based lewdness and nearly blinded in the very same contest.

In common folk speak, we are trying to say that Michael Bisping suffered a detached retina during the very same UFC 159 fight in which he nearly took Alan Belcher’s right eye home with him. And that is ironic.

“After the fight against Alan Belcher, Michael Bisping completely lost all peripheral vision in his right eye,” Ariel Helwani reported yesterday. “He went to see an eye on doctor on Tuesday and he found out that he had a detached retina. On Thursday, he had surgery to fix the detached retina. He’s hoping to return to the UFC in October.”

No word yet on whether or not Bisping will be interested in a potential catchweight fight with Rich Franklin when he returns, but we will keep you updated.

-J. Jones

(Once Bisping sees Franklin’s Harlem Shake call out video, this shit will be on like Donkey Kong.) 

In a recent interview with MMAWeekly, former middleweight champion Rich Franklin dispelled rumors that he would be retiring following his brutal knockout loss to Cung Le at UFC on FUEL 6 and stated that he would in fact like to face outspoken middleweight contender Michael Bisping next, possibly even at one of those catchweights he loves so much:

I look at my Twitter and a lot of people talk about (Michael) Bisping. That would be an exciting fight and something the fans would want to see. I’m an exciting fighter, he’s an exciting fighter, and we both like to throw down. Since my ultimate goal is not to go back and capture the 185-pound title, it doesn’t really matter to me if it’s at 185 or a catchweight or 205. Wherever the UFC needed me, I would fight, as long as the fight made sense. 

While this matchup does possess some novelty value and the potential to secure an end-of-the-night bonus at the very least (not unlike Franklin’s pairing against Forrest Griffin at UFC 126), it would also represent a significant regression in the title aspirations of Bisping. Considering Franklin has no intentions of fighting for a title in the future, let alone the one controlled by the incubus of his neverending nightmares, agreeing to the fight would in its own way represent a Michael Bisping who has potentially reached the same realization. Which would be kind of sad, because honestly, a humbled Bisping is a boring Bisping.

Then again, if we’ve learned anything in the past few months, it’s that wins are wins regardless of weight class. If Bisping were to accept the fight, he might do so under the belief that a win over a post-prime but still dangerous legend like Franklin would do more for his career than a win over the likes of say, another Alan Belcher. In either case, would you be interested in seeing this fight come to fruition?

Vote in our poll after the jump and make your case in the comments section. 

(High-fEYEve! Photo courtesy of Getty Images.) 

In the weeks leading up to his battle with Alan Belcher at UFC 159, we noticed that Michael Bisping appeared to be even more irked than usual – which is saying something when you’re talking about a guy whose rage often exceeds the physical limitations of his human vessel – and hypothesized that “The Count” might just be the kind of fighter who needs anger as a motivator. Bisping has admitted it himself and famed hacker Jerry Rips has since passed along audio proof.

But after taking a gander over the UFC 159 salaries, which were released by The New Jersey State Athletic Commission (via MMA-Manifesto) over the weekend, one begins to wonder just what the hell Bisping is so angry at these days. Either the “grudge match” angle is the only one he knows how to play or the $275,000 to show/$150,000 to win rate he is currently receiving is being stolen out from under him, because with that payday, you think he’d be all smiles.

Bisping’s $425k is just one of many head-scratchers that the UFC 159 salary list has to offer, so join us after the jump for a full rundown of the payout and a few totally unbiased observations.

(Photo via @alanbelcherufc)

As we mentioned yesterday, Alan Belcher is currently recovering from the nasty eye-poke he received from Michael Bisping at UFC 159, and had to receive eight stitches in his right eyelid — which sounds like he got off easy when you consider how absolutely awful that thing looked on Saturday. (I was bracing myself for a gruesome spray of half-and-half.) No word yet on a timetable for Belcher’s return to competition; let’s just hope this isn’t a career-ender.

Previously: MMA Photo Tribute: 16 Seriously Messed-Up Eyes

(Photo courtesy of Getty Images)

If there’s anything positive for Alan Belcher to take away from his loss to Michael Bisping in the co-main event of last night’s UFC 159, it’s that he was right about Bisping being unable to knock him out. Bisping had plenty of opportunities to do so throughout the fight, yet Belcher was too resilient of an opponent. Unfortunately, that’s right about where the positive notes end. Bisping not only outstruck Belcher by a considerable margin throughout their fight, but also avoided all of Belcher’s takedowns. Simply put, Belcher didn’t have any answers for Bisping’s jab-n-jog offense.

And then there was the eye poke that ended up stopping the fight, awarding Michael Bisping the technical decision victory. It was a disappointing way to end an otherwise decent scrap – especially considering Belcher’s previous troubles with that eye. Fortunately, Belcher has since tweeted that he is doing okay.

Perhaps the strangest thing about the eye poke is that this fight wasn’t the only bout on the card to end in technical decision due to an eye poke. Earlier in the evening, the light heavyweight bout between Ovince St. Preux and Gian Villante also ended when St. Preux inadvertently poked Villante in the eye. St. Preaux walked away with a technical majority decision victory. Kind of makes a case for changing the design of MMA gloves.

Elsewhere on the card…

(Good. Now that Chael knows what it feels like to make contact with Jon Jones, let’s get this execution over with. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

There’s not much to say about Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen at this point, other than the fact that Jones will be tying Tito Ortiz’s record for light-heavyweight title defenses (5) tonight, and Danga has already written Chael’s retirement rap. Luckily, UFC 159 features some legitimate fights as well, from Jim Miller meeting his taller, skinner doppelganger, to Roy Nelson meeting his polar opposite. Plus: Michael Bisping faces off against some retard from Mississippi (his words, not ours!), and Vinny Magalhaes tangles with Phil Davis.

Handling liveblog duties for this evening is Alex Giardini, who will be delivering round-by-round results from the “Jones vs. Sonnen” main card after the jump beginning at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and let us know what’s on your mind in the comments section.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

Now that we’ve told you what to think about tomorrow night’s fights, it’s time to watch the competitors hit the scale, and laugh at them if anybody misses weight. Will Michael Bisping angrily point at Alan Belcher while swearing at him? (Yes.) Will Chael Sonnen leave Bones hanging again? (Probably not.) Does Sara McMann need a Band-Aid? (Wait for it.) Because her abs are friggin’ cut. (BOOM.) Watch the UFC 159 weigh-in action in the player above starting at 4 p.m. ET / 1 p.m. PT, and take a peek after the jump for full results, which will be updated immediately afterwards.

(“How ’bout we say ‘triangle choke, round 2.’ I’ve got a t-shirt riding on this.” / Photo via MMAFighting.com)

With UFC 159 slated for tomorrow night, CagePotato founding editor Ben Goldstein and beloved CP staff writer Jared Jones have teamed up to argue about all the important themes surrounding the event. So how will the absurd light-heavyweight title fight end, exactly? What will happen if Alan Belcher actually lets Michael Bisping take a free shot to his face? Can the third women’s UFC fight possibly live up to the first two? How many more fights can Leonard Garcia lose before the UFC gives him the ol’ heave-ho? Read on, and throw down your own opinions in the comments section.

Will Jon Jones immediately demolish Chael Sonnen, or will he play around with Chael a little before demolishing him? And will Chael retire after the loss?

BG: I rarely make sweeping statements about who will win an MMA fight because 1) anything can happen in this crazy sport, and 2) the things you write on the Internet often come back to haunt you. But yes, Jon Jones will win this fight. I absolutely guarantee it. Sonnen’s best weapon — his relentless wrestling attack — will dash apart against Jones’s own wrestling, which is precision-tuned for the sport of MMA. Quickly out of options, Chael will throw his patented “I give up” spinning backfist, fall down against the cage, and will whisper a quick prayer to his God before Jones literally eats him and shits him out. And I do mean literally, okay? Literally.

I’m leaning towards a quick beat-down in this fight rather than an extended clowning, because Jones takes his job too seriously to “play around” with an opponent. (He’s not exactly Mr. Fun, we’ve noticed.) And once Chael feels the power of a large light-heavyweight, he’ll realize what a bad idea this whole thing was in the first place. To exit the sport directly after another humiliation wouldn’t fit in with Sonnen’s blustery self-image, so I think he’ll take at least one more fight — maybe at middleweight, maybe at light-heavyweight — before calling it quits. Once he starts losing to non-champions, he’ll wisely make the switch to full-time UFC talking head and occasional hair-texture tester.

JJ: Mark my words, this fight will be Jon Jones’s UFC 97 (or UFC 112, depending on which fight you thought was worse). Jones may not be a fun-loving guy, as you stated, but it also appears that the tryptophan-induced honeymoon between these two TUF coaches has passed, leaving behind only apathy in its wake. If you’ve noticed in the past, the foes “Bones knows” on a personal level seem to last the longest in the cage with him (Rampage, Rashad) — perhaps out of respect, perhaps because they are both tough as hell — so I think we should start preparing ourselves for a tepid, five-round affair highlighted by Bones’s jab and Sonnen’s desperate attempts to convert a single leg.

And when all is said and done, Sonnen will snatch the mic out of Joe Rogan’s hand, and in an attempt to mimic [enter professional wrestler name here]’s infamous retirement speech, will announce that, and I quote:

If there’s one thing that Michael Bisping knows how to do, it’s convincingly sell each and every one of his fights as a “grudge match.” If there’s a second thing Michael Bisping knows how to do, it’s make a bunch of promises about said fights that he has no intention of following through with. Set to face Alan Belcher at UFC 159 this weekend, Bisping has already made sure to check both of those items off his list. First, he promised fans that he will knock Belcher out in the first round — something he has promised ad nauseum over the years yet hasn’t actually done since 2008 — and at today’s UFC 159 presser, he successfully convinced us that his fight with Belcher really is a grudge match. Touche, Mee-kale.

Granted, Bisping is facing a guy who has been calling him out for years now, but it’s starting to seem like Bisping needs to hate the guy he’s fighting in order to get motivated — commonly known as The Diaz Initiative. There’s nothing wrong with that, but if Bisping was truly confident that he could finish Belcher so easily, wouldn’t it have been nice to see him actually take Belcher and Wallace Gilberry up on their bet? Knocking out Belcher would be impressive, sure, but knocking him out and costing his buddy a $300,000 Rolls Royce? That is walking away from an explosion in slow-mo and not looking back levels of cool. 

In either case, Bisping and Belcher made sure to get the shit-talking started early at today’s presser, and we’ve thrown the video above for your enjoyment. So check it out, then let us know how many times you think Bisping will point at Belcher’s face and scream “You’re dead!” come weigh-in time. He seems to enjoy doing that.

-J. Jones

(We’d start getting *real* used to that desk if we were you, Chael.)

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

It’s finally happening, Potato Nation. Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen a.k.a “the fight fans have been asking for” is set to go down this Saturday from the Prudential Center in Newark, New Jersey. Although many fans have focused on the chemistry (or lack thereof) between Chael and Jon as reason enough to pass on this pay-per-view event, UFC 159 will be offering a solid card of competitive fights which on paper may make it a sleeper that you won’t want to miss.

So join us as we continue to contribute to the Save Danga’s Legs Fund (he’s almost better, but he likes the nurse visits) by highlighting where to place your money on a few undercard and all of the main card bouts. All betting lines courtesy of BestFightOdds.

Undercard bouts:

Steven Siler (-120) vs. Kurt Holobaugh (+100)

Steven Siler comes in at around -130 for his fifth UFC appearance and will improve his Octagon record to 4-1 should he emerge victorious against the debuting Strikeforce veteran in Holobaugh. In his last outing, Siler was tarred and feathered by Darren Elkins‘ wrestling and was unable to take control of the fight for any sustained period of time. As an underdog who has only tasted defeat once in his career (a decision loss to Pat Healy), Holobaugh at even money or better is a solid choice. Kurt fights like a veteran and showed he can hang with some of the best in the world while dominating anything less than that caliber. Coming out of the Gracie Barra gym, Holobaugh will be too tough for Siler to submit and will put Super’s stand up game to the test with his own excellent striking. Holobaugh for the slight upset win.

(Props: YouTube.com/UFC)

The extended trailer to UFC 159 is an interesting case study. On one hand, it reminds us that at the very least, watching Jon Jones defend his belt against Chael Sonnen will be an entertaining experience. And that’s important, considering the match was seemingly made only with entertainment value in mind. As a light-heavyweight title contender, Sonnen is about as undeserving as it gets, but according to UFC president Dana White (as quoted in the video by Jones), the fans really want this fight. Now, we all know that’s bullshit; I don’t think anybody reacted to the Jones/Sonnen booking with anything other than utter bafflement. Still, it’s a fun fight, right? Right?

Here’s the problem: The UFC 159 video preview does nothing to suggest that the fight will actually be competitive. In fact, it gives more credence to the theory that Jones vs. Sonnen will be a total blowout. Did you know that Jon Jones has never been taken down in his UFC career? (Meaning, Sonnen will have a very tough time executing his only real pathway to victory, even if he is the self-proclaimed “best MMA wrestler in the world.”) Another fun fact: Jon Jones owns the most submission victories in the history of the UFC light-heavyweight division, while Sonnen has already been submitted four times in the Octagon. I mean, besides his takedowns and his trash-talk, tapping out is one of the main things that Chael is known for. As Bones puts it:

(“Are you not entertained?” Rest assured, Mike, we most certainly are. / Photo via Getty Images)

Jack Brown has been turning out consistently interesting question and answer sessions for our friends over at MixedMartialArts.com recently and his latest, with Michael Bisping, is definitely worth a read. Brown has the British superstar discuss everything from past opponents and performances, to his childhood and his own young family.

For the most part, Bisping seems to open himself up, remove himself from his usual shtick, ie. the finest in British dickishness, and reveal himself as interesting. There is one particular moment in the conversation that Bisping becomes the Mike we’ve all grown to love, ie. the finest in British dickishness.

No, we’re not talking about when Bisping continues to bash the man – Vitor Belfort – who just crushed him with ease, as a “boring bastard.” That’s funny, Michael, because your head kick KO loss to Belfort was pretty exciting to watch for everyone else…

In any case, the part of Brown’s excellent interview with Bisping that stands out the most is when the middleweight discusses his next opponent, Alan Belcher. Apparently not aware that Belcher has a better record at middleweight than he, and that Bisping himself has lost two out of his last three while Belcher has won four out of his last five fights, the Brit does not think his American foe is any good.

Belcher is so horrible, in fact, that Bisping already knows who he will blame should he lose to him. No, he won’t blame himself – that would be too easy and make too much sense.

“If I lose, there is something seriously wrong. I’ve told my coaches that if I don’t win, you’re all f__ing fired because you’re doing something wrong,” Bisping said.

(Well that is just *completely* out of character. / Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting.com)

As first reported by ESPN, the UFC 159 light-heavyweight title fight between Jon Jones and Chael Sonnen will be supported by a middleweight co-main event between Michael Bisping and Alan Belcher.

Both fighters are coming off of losses that set them back in the 185-pound pecking order. Bisping was recently knocked out by Vitor Belfort in Brazil, while Belcher — who has been calling for a fight against the Count since last May — saw his four-fight win streak come to an end via a unanimous decision loss to Yushin Okami at UFC 155. Following that fight, Bisping gleefully rubbed salt in Belcher’s wounds on his Yahoo! blog, writing:

“Belcher lost every minute of every round in a fight so boring I was afraid my brain was going to melt and start to dribble out of my ears. It was like someone detonated a nuclear bomb of boredom in the arena — everyone in the seats around me was playing Angry Birds. What delusions of grandeur Belcher has. This is a guy who didn’t fight for a year after giving himself career-threatening eye-strain by watching too much internet porn, and he thinks he’s god’s gift to MMA…This is a guy who got his arse kicked by two guys I smashed (Yoshihiro Akiyama and Jason Day) but he thinks he can not only beat me on a couple weeks’ training, but also assumed he was getting passed Okami, who is not to be underestimated. Anyway, now we don’t have to listen to this guy anymore. Back to the undercard, sunshine!”

Now, Bisping is fighting the very same man he just cursed to an eternity of curtain-jerking. That might be a tough pill to swallow, but Mike actually seems okay with the booking, tweeting today:

(This will become relevant by the end of the article. Until then, let’s just bask in its glory.) 

We’re not sure if we’ve conveyed our feelings regarding middleweight contender Michael Bisping in such articles as “Michael Bisping Asshole Quote of the Day” or the sarcastically-titled “Michael Bisping, Most Understood Fighter in the UFC,” but suffice it to say, we aren’t too high on “The Count.” If you’re someone who appreciates a humble fighter who puts on entertaining fights each and every time they step into the octagon, chances are you aren’t too high on him either.

I can honestly say that I haven’t been outright entertained by a Bisping fight since he fought Wanderlei back at UFC 110, so perhaps he is the correct source to consult when determining whether a fight was boring or not. Luckily for us, Michael could only fit so much dickishness into his schedule each day, so he went and started a blog to make sure we could all be privy to this exact kind of information. In his most recent post, he took aim at Tim Boetsch and Alan Belcher, two fellow middleweights who came up short in somewhat disastrous performances at UFC 155.

We’ve collected all the best snippets, along with our running commentary in bold, after the jump. So join us as we honor (that’s code for “Spill Haterade on”) the nastiest hater since Silky Johnson, won’t you?

Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

By Elias Cepeda

With a somewhat forgettable year thankfully coming to an end, UFC 155 looked to excite fans, promote contenders and get everybody ready for a new year. This card did exactly that. Not to reach into our bag of clichés so early into the aftermath, but UFC 155 really sent 2012 out with a bang, and set the bar high for upcoming cards in 2013.

With as many solid fights as took place Saturday in Las Vegas at UFC 155, Jim Miller and Joe Lauzon’s three round battle was recognized by the UFC brass as the Fight of The Night and each man earned an extra $65,000 for their effort. The lightweight contenders should also be in consideration for Fight of The Year lists everywhere.

If it is, Lauzon will be competing with himself for his incredible fight last August against Jamie Varner. JLau may have lost the decision against Miller on the judge’s score cards, two rounds to one, but deserves credit for coming back from being bullied, beaten and bloodied badly in the first round by Miller in the first round and finishing stronger in the final two rounds.

On the strength of his aggressiveness and multiple submission attempts to close out the second and third rounds, this writer believes that a very reasonable judge could have scored the bout Lauzon’s way instead of Miller’s. As it stands, both men were impressive in their own ways and, *reaches back into the bag of applicable clichés* there simply were no “losers” in this one.

Miller has always shown excellent boxing skills but he may have been sharper than ever before against Lauzon in the first and second rounds, scoring almost at will with shots to the body and head, as well as knocking Joe down repeatedly with a nasty inside leg kick. His dirty boxing from the clinch was masterful, using punches, knees and elbows to hurt and cut open Lauzon over and again.

(What a crazy year it’s been. Just think, four weeks ago that bald guy in the middle was actually homeless. / Photo courtesy of Esther Lin’s UFC 155 weigh-in set on MMAFighting.com)

UFC 155 might not be as epic as some of the UFC’s previous end-of-year cards (you can blame the injury curse for that), but any time the Heavyweight Championship of the World is at stake, it’s must-see TV.

Tonight, defending champ Junior Dos Santos will try to keep the train a-rollin’ in a rematch with his old pal Cain Velasquez. Meanwhile in the co-main event, lightweights Joe Lauzon and Jim Miller will gobble up as many performance bonuses as they can get their little hands on. Plus, six middleweight contenders — including Tim Boetsch, Alan Belcher, and Chris Leben — will swing their ham-hock fists at each other, in the hopes that the most popular kid in school might notice them. Lotsa luck, ladies.

Running our final liveblog of the year (!) will be none other than Elias Cepeda, who will be updating you with round-by-round results after the jump starting at 10 p.m. ET / 7 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and please share your New Year’s resolutions in the comments section.

(James Thompson, seen here demonstrating the CagePotato “What in the bloody hell are you on about, mate?” rule of early stoppages.) 

Over the past few days, we’ve witnessed a pair of rarely seen finishes in the octagon — a suplex KO and a flying reverse triangle — and after we here at CagePotato collectively picked our jaws up off the floor and found a clean pair of shorts, we got to thinking, what other techniques/finishes do we rarely come across in the MMA stratosphere? And more importantly, which of these techniques/finishes have we not devoted some sort of gif or video tribute to already?

Taking all of those factors into account, we came to the standing TKO, a finish so uncommon in MMA that we could only name a handful of occurrences before having to resort to the Interwebs for assistance. So in honor of the iron-jawed sumbitches who wouldn’t bow to defeat even when it was kneeing/punching/kicking them damn near to death, we’ve placed our favorite examples of this phenomenon below. Check ‘em out after the jump and let us know which stoppages you thought were warranted and which ones could have gone on a little longer.

(“What?! Vitor’s fighting who now? God damn you, JC, you are really bending me over a barrel here!”) 

How the tides have shifted.

When Alan Belcher and Yushin Okami first met at UFC 62 all the way back in August of 2006, both men were actually making their promotional debut. In a hard fought contest, Okami used his superior grappling prowess to reel in a unanimous decision victory over “The Talent,” and would follow the victory with three more before dropping a unanimous decision to Rich Franklin at UFC 72. Belcher, on the other hand, would rebound from the defeat by scoring a head kick KO over woeful UFC washout Jorge Santiago, then dropping a third round submission via Brabo choke to TUF 3 winner Kendall Grove.

Since then, Okami has compiled a 10-4 record in the UFC, including wins over a certain Strikeforce welterweight champion and a certain injury-plagued middleweight contender, a title losing bid to Anderson Silva at UFC 134, and a shocking third round upset at the hands of Tim Boetsch that was responsible for the greatest Joe Rogan meltdown in UFC history. Belcher has gone 8-3, with an upset loss of his own to Jason Day and notable wins over Patrick Cote, Ed Herman, and most recently Rousimar Palhares. It should be noted, and has been on several occasions, that his victory over Palhares made one CagePotato writer look like a complete a-hole.

But although Belcher was a considerable underdog heading into their first contest, one has to imagine that he may find himself the favorite heading into their rematch at UFC 155 in light of their recent momentum swings.

With Vitor Belfort now set to fight Jon Jones at UFC 152, Alan Belcher was left without an opponent for UFC 153 in Rio. Many of us began to speculate as to who the UFC would call in to replace Vitor Belfort in a fight that had possible title implications. Nah, I’m just kidding, we were all way too busy talking about bitchassness, trolling your way into title shots and over-saturation to worry about Alan Belcher. Let’s get back to the real issues of today.

Not so fast. Alan Belcher released a video blog yesterday to discuss the whole Jon Jones saga. Interestingly enough, Belcher first discloses that he won’t be fighting at UFC 153 because he wants to let a back injury he suffered while training heal. In his words:

Rewind a little bit: Three or four weeks back, I had a real bad back problem. I went to the doctor, found out that I had a spinal fracture, so that put me out for three weeks. I didn’t bend my back, I just kept it straight. I’m like “I’m just going to get the rest I need to make this fight happen and push through it.” I was getting back in there training, and it took me a whole week to get my mind wrapped back around it, but I was like “This is a huge fight, I’m going to do it,” and there is no way I was going to back out of that fight. Once I started back and I got going, I put a lot of thought into it and I was going full force ahead.

Anderson Silva, shown modeling for Rolling Stone while showing us his war face.

It’s no secret that the UFC middleweight division is a bit of a mess right now. With Michael Bisping set to fight Brian Stann, Alan Belcher squaring off against Vitor Belfort, Cung Le fighting Rich Franklin and Chris Weidman and Tim Boetsch sitting on the sidelines, it’s no wonder we’re possibly looking at a middleweight tournament to sort this mess out. In theory, the tournament would give Middleweight Champion Anderson Silva plenty of time to go to barbecues and fight Light-Heavyweight Champion Jon Jones while the division sorts itself out. In reality, that will never happen.

With the middleweight division being such a gigantic question mark, it may make sense to just ask someone in Anderson Silva’s camp who they’d like to see him fight next. There’s just one small problem: Anderson Silva’s camp are, how should I say this, pricks. Case in point, here’s what Silva’s manager Jorge Guimaraes said about the possibility of Anderson fighting Chris Weidman, Tim Boetsch and Alan Belcher, who have all recently called out “The Spider” (via Tatame):

(Buy all of the Lombard stock you can….wait…he WHAT?! THEN SELL DAMMIT, SELL!!) 

If you are the type of MMA fan that gets his news from CagePotato and only CagePotato, we’d like to thank you for your dedication. Surely you will be rewarded in the afterlife for your selfless sacrifice. At the same time, you’ve more than likely missed out on all of the middleweight calamity that has happened over the past few days, as we deemed it less important than photos of mutilated hands, anti-Mandy Moore smear campaigns, and things of that nature. Clearly we made the right choice, but like we said, we appreciate your dedication.

To sum up the middleweight soap opera in a few sentences, Vitor Belfort tried to call out Chris Weidman, stating both a respect for the fact that Weidman is the top dog at 185 (as we previously stated), and realizing that a win over Weidman would be the easiest path to another shot at Anderson Silva. Weidman promptly denied Belfort, claiming that he had all the respect in the world for the former LHW champ, but simply put, “[he] had his shot” and “right now is my time.”

Meanwhile, in the outskirts of Mississippi, Johnny Cash enthusiast Alan Belcher switched his sights from Michael Bisping to that of Vitor Belfort, which seemed appropriate to us considering that we also called for this matchup. Being that there is no way in hell that a fight between Belfort and Belcher could be anything short of extraordinary, for reals this time, we imagine that most of you agreed with us.

Well, it appears that the dominoes are falling into place like a house of cards, because Belfort and Belcher have verbally agreed to face one another at UFC 153 in Rio, via their respective Twitter accounts.

Hear what was said after the jump.

(Live UFC 149 weigh-in video, via YouTube.com/UFC. First fighter steps on the scale at 6 p.m. ET / 3 p.m. PT.)

- Keep Sending Us Your Fighter Run-In Stories for Next Week’s Roundtable! (CP)

- A Conversation With Paul Daley: From British Boxing to Bellator (MMAFighting)

- Jon Jones Says “Disrespectful” Dan Henderson Has Given Him New Motivation (BleacherReport/MMA)

- Former UFC Fighter Sherman Pendergarst Loses Battle With Cancer (MMAJunkie)

- EXCLUSIVE: Dana White Fight Day Video Interview (HeavyMMA)

- UFC’s Jonathan Brookins Tells Us That Bellator Is Suing Him and He Isn’t a Fan of Bjorn Rebney (MiddleEasy)

- Alan Belcher Hopes Belfort, Weidman Willing To Exchange In Near Future (Fightline)

- Tito Ortiz Had Knee Surgery Before Fight With Forrest Griffin (FiveOuncesofPain)

- Train Like an Olympic Judoka (MensFitness)

- Video: Australian Track and Field Hurdle Hottie Michelle Jenneke’s Warm-Up Dance (MMAMania)

- Joaquin Phoenix Licks Window Panes in the Full Trailer for ‘The Master’ (FilmDrunk)

- The Funniest Masturbation Arrests of All Time (WorldWideInterweb)

- The Gentlemen’s Guide to Tattoos (MadeMan)

(So, Anderson, who would *you* like to face next?) 

By Jared Jones

Let’s face it, the current state of the middleweight division is that of anarchy, a notion made all the more bewildering when you consider that it has been trapped beneath the crushing, totalitarian rule of the same king for the better part of a decade now. Yet somehow, it seems we can barely go a day without hearing that Vitor Belfort wants to fight so-and-so for the next title shot, or Michael Bisping wants to fight this guy for the right to do the same. Or that guy. Or that guy.

And indeed, the issue of solving who should rightfully receive the next beatdown shot at Anderson Silva is a tough one, dividing fans on a level that only TRT, vaseline, or Steven Seagal could match (scratch that, *no one* likes Sensei Seagal). Thankfully, CagePotato is here to clean up the mess instead of making it for once, so join us as we lay out in detail what must be done to organize the middleweight division’s long list of contenders in order of title shot worthiness (I swear to God I had something better for that). Feel free to debate this list if you want, but this is how it’s got to be.

On the Outside Looking In 

Michael Bisping

We know we like to poke fun at the guy, but in total seriousness, you’d have to be insane to believe that Bisping deserves a shot at the middleweight title. Yes, he is 4-1 in his past 5, as is the case for many of the UFC’s top middleweights, oddly enough. And yes, there’s little denying that Bisping has looked more tenacious and well rounded as of late than he ever has. But first, take a look at the names that make up his win streak. The biggest win he has under his belt in the past few years is Yoshihiro Akiyama, a 1-4 now welterweight who has been a complete bust in the UFC. Other than that, you have a now retired reality show host, a retired journeyman, and Dan Miller, who we absolutely refuse to say anything bad about.

(*dial tone* Alcohol affects the memory.) 

Newton’s third law of motion states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. Over the past few months, everyone from Tim Boetsch to Alan Belcher to Brian Stann have called out soft-spoken middleweight Michael Bisping, and we honestly can’t understand why. The man is a kind, yet misunderstood human being with great taste in music who has never come off as anything but respectful for as long as we’ve known him. As it goes in prison, they always seem to pick on the nice guy who doesn’t really belong there.

Recently, however, it appears that Bisping has had enough, and has turned the tables on the bullies that simply wont let him be, threatening to kick not only Stann’s ass, but calling out Hector Lombard (sort of), then Anderson Silva, and now Chris Weidman as well. Apparently fed up with all of the “respect” Weidman was receiving for “finishing” a fight against a “top” contender, Bisping took to Twitter to vent his frustrations:

Weidman looked great last night. But no1 contender? If that’s the case I want to fight him and prove I’m the number 1 contender. Let’s do it.

Now, we understand that Bisping may very well think that he’s the number one contender, despite the fact that his last win against a top or even upper-tier middleweight dates back to, you know, never, but this is getting a little redundant at this point, is it not?

By George Shunick

There must be something about early July that gets Americans riled up at the British. This year it’s former Marine (not Army, as I mistakenly implied last time) Brian Stann who is ready to do battle with vile, pasty British person Michael Bisping. Ok, so if you want to get technical about it, Bisping kind of called out Stann first. Whatever. The point is that Stann is the latest in a long line of Americans who have stood against this insufferable British menace.

Now, I try not to devolve into hyperbole, but I think it’s safe to say that since his humiliating loss to Dan Henderson, Michael Bisping has had one thing on his mind – the destruction of America itself. Though presumably suffering through the devastating aftereffects of the H-Bomb, Bisping bided his time with a detour through a few Brazilians, where he met with mixed success. When he was ready, he returned to the rebellious colonies, determined to finish the war his forefathers had started centuries ago.

His first strike against Dan Miller went largely unnoticed; there was no reason to suspect Bisping would dare take any further action against America. Bisping then took on Japan’s Yoshiro Akiyama, which seemed to cement this theory – but is it a coincidence that Japan, Akiyama’s home country, is under the protection of American troops? I think not. Bisping became more brazen after this conquest, challenging Army veteran and Tim Kennedy training partner Jorge Rivera. Rivera admirably attempted to subvert the devious Brit’s diabolical scheme using psychological warfare, but it backfired in brutal fashion. Bisping was befuddled by Rivera’s tactics to the extent that he forgot the rule against kneeing the head of a downed opponent, leading to Rivera’s demise. Bisping also forgot common decency and sportsmanship, a staple of British culture from all accounts, and proceeded to spit at Rivera’s corner in the heated aftermath of the fight. Or he was never aware of them to begin with. Either way, his anti-American agenda was made clear.

(Finally we can look forward to an injury that happens IN the cage.) 

It’s finally happened, Potato Nation. The soil has reached over-saturation point and the paper clip that finally breaks the surface tension has been dropped. Confused? So are we, because even though the UFC held that UFC on FUEL event on an Indian burial ground in Fairfax earlier this year, we were told that everything would be fine. “Florida is a tough market,” they said. “They’re training too hard,” they clamored. But we weren’t fooled by the red herrings, the smoke and mirrors. This is karma for the UFC’s aforementioned acts of stepping on hallowed ground. Those insolent baboons.

The injury curse that has pulled the rug out from the UFC’s summer plans has officially become so frequent that we can’t even finish an article informing you of an injury before another one has already occurred. The chances of us mentioning a fighter within a sentence who isn’t currently injured has dropped to a staggering 0.0126 percent, and we simply don’t know what to do anymore. Begin stockpiling your canned goods and first aid kits, because surely the end times are upon us.

(“It’s okay, boy. Doesn’t really look like Johnny Cash, but you did the best you could.” / Photo via CageWriter)

By Jason Moles

What was supposed to be a monumental night for Alan Belcher at UFC 100, filled with celebration and grandeur, turned out to be more of a grand illusion thanks to the gross incompetence of the judges. Belcher’s controversial split-decision loss to then-UFC newcomer Yoshihiro Akiyama still leaves a sour taste in the mouth of many who recall Bruce Buffer’s reading of the scorecards. That sweaty July night, although only three years ago, feels like an eternity ago when you consider all that the Biloxi, Mississippi native has endured over the past few years. From that memorable fight to unforeseeable medical threats and his surge to the top of the middleweight division, the burden-laden path has proved Belcher both remarkable and resilient.

Leading up to the historical UFC 100 pay-per-view, you heard a lot of chatter about “Sexyama” losing only once in fifteen professional fights. Since then, the Japanese veteran has been falling in a downward spiral, going o-4 in the cage. Belcher on the other hand, hasn’t looked back, earning four consecutive stoppage victories and two end-of-night bonuses. Suffice it to say that it’s more than a coincidence that they’ve been heading in opposite directions since their paths crossed. It’s just a shame no one called the cops to report the robbery that night.

If you saw the Fight of the Night bout between Akiyama and “The Talent” then you know the fight was close, but not that close. “He got me down a couple of times, but I swept him just as many times as he took me down,” Belcher said after the fight. “I tried for submissions; I think he only hit me a few times on the ground. I landed leg kick after leg kick over and over and over.”

(WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY SPRAY TAN?!) 

Just three days ago, Alan Belcher was fed to the lions. It wasn’t an easy decision to make, but like those who choose to stay in Omelas, the Zuffa head-honchos knew that a sacrifice had to be made for the good of the community. For if the insatiable beast known as “Toquinho” was not fed his daily quotient of appendages, theirs would surely be next. So they sent forth the only American brave enough to tattoo Kim Jong-il on his arm to narfle the Garthok, so to speak. But like the mighty Beldar Conehead before him, Alan Belcher emerged from the monstrosity’s repugnant dwelling unscathed, and earned a lifetime supply of free wishes for doing so.

At least that’s how “The Talent” sees it, because when asked on who he’d like to face next (if a title shot was out of the question, of course) Belcher was rather adamant about his options, telling the following to BloodyElbow’s Steph Daniels:

I think a fight with Michael Bisping makes a lot of sense. I mean, Boetsch looks like a beast at 185, and I’ve got to admit, he looks pretty scary. The other guys in the division, in my mind, I’ve already beat them so many times, and I know everything about them, and I know they don’t have anything really threatening. Boetsch has got some pretty powerful tools, and is a pretty scary dude.

Bisping, of course, is getting to be a professional point fighter, and he’s kind of hard to beat like that. That fight would be a nice payday, and a big fight for the media, so I’m kind of leaning towards that one. It would make sense, and the fans would love it. I can almost feel the energy I would get from the fans if I put him to sleep.

In case you’re keeping track, Belcher has now joined a list of fighters who have called out the British “point fighter” that includes Mark Munoz, Brian Stann, Tim Boetsch (who was successful in doing so), and Jorge Rivera (who was less than successful).

Join us after the jump for much more from the interview. 

(Upkick me once, shame on you. Upkick me twice, shame on me. Upkick me six times…seriously, bro?)

From Nate Diaz‘s hilarious taunts to Lavar Johnson‘s brutalization of Pat Barry, here are the best moments from Saturday night’s UFC card in animated GIF form. Props to IronForgesIron, the UG, and TheBigLead. More good stuff after the jump.

By Elias Cepeda

Props: MMAMania

As expected, it was a great idea to pit two heavyweight knock out artists against one another for the Fox audience. Lavar Johnson and Pat Barry swung for the fences and beat the tar out of each other for almost a whole round before Johnson stopped Barry with punches.

“Big” secured a $65,000 KO of the night bonus with the beating. Johnson now has two consecutive entertaining UFC wins under his belt, after back to back Strikeforce submission losses. He’ll likely get at least a couple more style-friendly sluggers to duke it out with from the UFC since he’s performed so well against them thus far.

Barry’s situation may be a little more complicated. The former K-1 fighter always brings it in his fights, is fan-friendly and has some big wins on his resume. But he’s also now lost three out of his last four fights and five out of his last eight. One would imagine he’ll get at least some more fights from the UFC given that he won his prior fight and how exciting he was, even in defeat, against Johnson.