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Tag: Aleks Emelianenko

Aleksander Emelianenko Doomed to a Pair of Can-Crushing Blue Balls

(Video courtesy of YouTube/limonadoss)

There is no greater crime than to be deprived of sharing your gift with the world. Okay, maybe that’s an exaggeration, but to let a god-given talent die on the vine is unforgivable, yet this seems to be the fate of one Aleksander Emelianenko. You see, after fighting in a series of meaningful, competitive battles, Aleks found his true calling as a can-crusher. Each morbid beatdown was a sight to behold, a gift to the masses. Sadly, we are now being robbed of that gift. Sure, he’s still standing across the cage from lesser competition, but they are a dangling carrot that he cannot bite, a mirage in the distance that he’ll never actually reach. Observe:

We first caught a glimpse of this phenomenon when Aleks squared off against Eddy Bengtsson. After a scant forty seconds, Bengtsson succumbed to a phantom punch and deprived Aleks the joy of a brutal finish. Fast-forward to last Friday evening, where Aleks took to punching heavybag journeyman Tadas Rimkevicius. To his credit, Rimkevicius seemed game to trade until Emelianenko really started to swang them thangs, which forced “The Lithuanian Bear” to dig deep into his bag of tricks (check out that rolling kneebar at 5:20 and tell me that Tadas isn’t the bastard child of Oleg Taktarov and Ryo Chonan). Ol’ Rimke actually catches Aleks with a left hand and drops him as the round draws to a close, which was possibly the closest anyone came to being legitimately put away in a bout that ended via TKO.

After the jump, Aleks gets cut off at ‘second base’.


Aleks Emelianenko Won the Russian Combat Sambo Championship, By the Way

Josh Barnett isn’t the only troubled MMA fighter who doesn’t mind spending his free time beating up on guys who aren’t really on his level.  Aleksander Emelianenko likes himself a good mismatch almost as much as he likes tattoos, so naturally it just made sense for him to totally rule the 2010 Russian Combat Sambo Championships.  In keeping with the Emelianenko family’s proud Sambo history, Aleks took home the gold medal after roughing up a couple of guys who seemed like they didn’t particularly want to be in there with him, and then finished with a fun little romp against old pal Kiril "Baby Fedor" Sidelnikov in the finals. 

Check out that bout, where they apparently love each other too much to throw hands, after the jump.  Make sure to pay close attention to how both men use the handshake as an opportunity to jump their opponent at different points in the match.  The Russian crowd just can’t get enough of that gag.


Aleksander Emelianenko Still Chasing That UFC Dream

(Props: TSGIGOR)

We don’t speak the Russkie, but according to rough translations of the above shout-out video, Aleksander Emelianenko would just like to say thank you to all his fans, and vows to come to America soon to "beat everyone in the UFC." Yes, everyone — even the lightweights, we’d have to assume. And sure, Aleksander seems to pop up every few months to make similar proclamations, despite the fact that the CSAC’s Bill Douglas once stated that he’ll never be licensed to fight in the U.S. again. But things feel a little different now…and dare we say, hopeful.

Back in March, Aleks said he was pondering an offer from the UFC. At the time, we pointed out that his Affliction contract would get in the way of a UFC signing happening in the immediate future, but now that Affliction is toast, he’s basically a free agent again; remember, he no longer has any official ties to M-1 either. Just spitballin’ here, but could the UFC pick him up to put in European shows, thereby skirting his blacklisted status in the U.S.? (After all, the CSAC never came out and said "Hep B" — that was just the widespread rumor.) Or is this one of those pipe dreams that will never materialize, no matter how many ethical guidelines are bent?


Video: Aleks Emelianenko Eats a Right Hand, Dodges a Bullet

(Props: MMA Fanhouse)

As a footnote to his essay about leaving Red Devil and being totally cleared to fight in America, you may recall Aleks Emelianenko making passing mention of a bout against Ibragim Magomedov.  Well, it happened this weekend in Russia, and as you see it probably won’t be on anyone’s Fight of the Year list.

Emelianenko gets rocked by a good right hand at the end of an exchange and is clearly wobbled, but he’s savvy enough to clinch and hold on until he can get his mind unscrambled.  By that time, however, the referee has noticed that Magomedov is cut, and the fight gets stopped before it really had a chance to get going and Aleks is awarded the TKO victory.

A disappointing outcome?  Yeah, but you can’t blame them.  I wouldn’t want to be in there with Aleks if I had an open wound on my face either.  Come on.  We were all thinking it.

Related: Barnett Confronts Aleks, Re: Shit-Talking, Take Two
Sort of Related: Aleks Ponders UFC Offer, New Tattoo


Barnett Confronts Aleks Re: Shit-Talking, Take Two

(Making mean faces and threatening gestures isn’t just a hobby for Barnett, it’s a lifestyle.)

Despite the language barrier between them, Josh Barnett and Aleks Emelianenko still manage to maintain a fairly healthy war of words.  You might recall this video of Barnett trying to communicate to the other Emelianenko brother just how unafraid he was of a rematch with him when the two were both backstage at the first Affliction show last summer.  Then Aleks popped up recently to assure us all the he could totally fight in America, no matter what you heard, and also claimed he offered to fight Barnett but old Babyface refused to take him up on the offer.

Well, that’s about all you need to say to get Barnett to put your name in the streets on an internet forum.  And when he does, he’s not going to tiptoe around the  whole blood-borne disease issue:

It has come to my attention that Aleksander Emelianenko has been making very bold statements about me again. I have heard, from his own blog have you, that I have been offered a fight with him recently and refused and that I was scared when I approached him backstage at Affliction: Banned. Well, I for one have heard from many valid sources that Aleks has a blood borne disease such as Hepatitis B and with his abundance of tattoo work that could easily be the case. This rules out the possibility of fighting him in a sanctioned fight anywhere they require a blood test. I have not been offered any such fight with Aleks but will say this : If you want a rematch Aleks all you have to do is come up to me somewhere and say something. Talk any kind of shit you want and it’s on. If you got the guts, we will do it right then and there and I for one will make sure you won’t be able to ask for much of anything, let alone a rematch ,when I am done with you.

Aleks Emelianenko Leaves Red Devil, Continues to Pretend That He Can Fight in America

(‘I drink gypsy potion during full moon.  Hepatitis gone now.  Is fine.’)

In a statement posted by Dream Fighters, Aleksander Emelianenko announced that he has left Russia’s Red Devil team under what he claims are amicable circumstances.  Of course, he also goes on to claim that he will soon be fighting in America again, so maybe we shouldn’t believe everything we read here:

I will say right away that there was no conflict between us. I asked the club president Vadim Filkenstein to remove all contractual obligations from me connecting me to “Red Devil”, as well as their obligations for me. Vadim was not against this. But we have also agreed, that as a promoter he will still offer me to participate in some events and fights, and I will review those offers. I asked Vadim to put me down for the next Affliction event, which will happen in the Summer, since I have the contract with Americans for three fights. Currently there is no concrete answer, since it is not yet known when exactly this event will take place, and who will be participating. But nothing is interfering with me fighting on such a big show in America.

Nothing is interfering with you fighting in America, Aleks?  Not even the California State Athletic Commission refusing to license you and then vowing that no other commission in the country would do so either?  Any of that ring a bell?


Emelianenko Brothers Not Feeling the Love For One Another

(‘Pay no attention to my brother. He is idiot.’ Photo courtesy of

Aleks and Fedor Emelianenko don’t seem to have the warmest of sibling relationships.  They don’t train together, don’t speak especially well of one another, and when they were both at the Affliction press conference in July they barely acknowledged one another’s presence.  It’s tempting to blame this on the fact that both of them often appear to be emotionless cyborgs, but then you see that picture of Fedor happily eating two ice cream cones at once, and damn if it doesn’t just melt your heart.  

But Aleks is taking issue with some comments his brother made to a Russian newspaper, where Fedor suggested that his little bro lacks a serious work ethic, even going so far as to claim that as kids, “Aleksander looked for adventures on his rear end…I wouldn’t come out of the gym.”

Aleks, as you might imagine, disagrees:

Last week, Aleks was interviewed by the same newspaper and Fedor “is definitely not correct on that. I don’t know why [he] said that. Probably was overcome by some ambitions.
“My brother sometimes gets overwhelmed. He says something stupid, and then he’s sorry about it afterwards.”

Something tells me Fedor is not terribly sorry about those remarks.  As for him being "overcome by some ambitions," perhaps that’s what Aleks has been telling himself all these years when Fedor’s in the gym becoming the world’s best heavyweight, and he’s been off doing…whatever it is that Aleks does besides getting tattoos.


Aleks Emelianenko Still Claims to Be Healthy, and He Doesn’t Care What You’ve Heard

(In his own words: “Tattoos are my hobby. That is that.” Photo courtesy of Sherdog.)

While you’re trying to figure out what witty zingers might pass between Aleksander Emelianenko, Vladimir Putin, and Jean-Claude Van Damme in our latest caption contest, you might be wondering to yourself, what ever became of Aleks after he was kicked off the Affliction event amid rumors that he may or may not have Hepatitis B? Well don’t worry. According to Aleks, it was all just a paperwork issue, as he explains to The Fight Network:

“I came late, couldn’t get my Visa in time and I was not allowed to fight. I’m healthy.”

That’s weird, because just last week M-1′s Raimond Joost said you had “medical issues.” Granted, he also expressed optimism that they could be resolved, but he sure as hell didn’t try and chalk the whole thing up to Visa troubles. Not to mention, if it was just a paperwork snafu, why would the CSAC’s Bill Douglas say this:

“The one thing that I can absolutely say is that he (Emelianenko) was not and will not be cleared to fight in California. He is officially denied a license and that will stand for all of the United States of America.”

Aleks, I’m getting the sneaking suspicion that you are lying to us, and doing a really bad job of it. Couldn’t you at least think of something more plausible? The strangest comment of the interview, however, was this one:


Affliction and M-1 Now Both Own Fedor’s Ass

Fedor Emelianenko
(Say something about the pants. I wish you would.)

The relationship between Affliction and the MMA organization/Fedor Emelianenko rental company known as M-1 has always been somewhat sketchy. M-1 gets to make pointless speeches at Affliction pressers with no explanation as to why, they put their ads all over the arena during Afflicton’s July event, and generally seemed to have a hand in anything Fedor-related that Affliction even attempted. Now, apparently, the partnership is official:

“We’re basically just solidifying our relationship,” Affliction vice president Tom Atencio told of the Russian promotion. “We work well with them. They’re one of the few companies we’ve worked with that if they say they’re going to do something, they do it. They’ve stood behind us, especially with negotiations with the UFC.”

This is part of what Affliction is planning to announce at tomorrow’s Trump Tower press conference in NYC. Another part is their involvement in the “Fighting Fedor” reality series. When will this show air, on what channel, and will there be anyone remotely credible in the running to fight Fedor? Hopefully that will all be answered at tomorrow’s press conference, though we can tell you right now that the answer to the last question is no.

The new deal between Affliction and M-1, however, should finally put to rest any notion of Fedor fighting Randy Couture in the near future. M-1′s Raimond Joost said there was no real possibility of Fedor signing a deal with the UFC, and as long as the UFC has Couture (which should be a healthy portion of his remaining shelf life as a fighter) you know they aren’t about to loan him out to the competition. So basically, take whatever remaining hope you had of ever seeing that fight and bury it somewhere deep inside yourself along with your suppressed rage and childhood dreams of happiness.


Triumph United CAPTION Contest: Fedor, Aleks, and Some Asian Kids

Fedor Emelianenko and Aleks Emelianenko

Here’s the thing about those Triumph United comment contests we’ve been running: Finding/deciding on the finalists was a pain in the ass, and then all you people would do is bitch about our lame sense of humor. So we’re going to switch it up this week with a good old-fashioned caption contest. The two readers who submit the funniest captions to the above picture by 4 p.m. ET on Friday will each get a Triumph United t-shirt of their choice. And seriously? Only those who enter will be allowed to complain later. You’re on my last good nerve right now…

Triumph United MMA Union
(“Union,” only available at TU.)