(I’ll never let go, Lyoto. I’ll never let go…)

We’re of two minds about the latest interview snippet from Lyoto Machida’s manager, Jorge Guimaraes, in which he all but sealed the door on the potential of a Machida/Alexander Gustafsson fight following the Swede’s call out of Machida some weeks ago. On one hand, Machida was promised a title shot with a win over Dan Henderson at UFC 157, and to his credit, he was able to do so (albeit in rather tepid fashion). On the other hand, Dana White then promised Gustafsson a title shot with a win over Gegard Mousasi before that all fell apart.

But on the third hand, Machida was offered a shot against Jon Jones on short notice at UFC 152, then turned the goddamn thing down. Throw in the fact that Jones already choked Machida unconscious at UFC 140 and couldn’t care less if he ever fought Machida again, and it would appear that the Brazilian isn’t exactly in the position to be making demands. Regardless, Guimaraes told Lancenet that Machida would prefer to sit on the sidelines until this whole Jones/Sonnen nonsense is finished (translation via FightersOnly):

Lyoto is on stand-by list waiting for the winner of Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen. I think it is almost impossible for Chael to win this bout, but anything may happen. A fight is a fight, but it has already been scheduled, there’s no history about it.

Lyoto is the number one contender and he is only waiting to see who is going to be the winner of this fight. He is not convinced about Jones…he is not convinced from that loss.

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(UFC on Fuel 9 Main Event, Gegard Mousasi vs. Ilir Latifi via Fox Sports)

Despite Alexander Gustafsson’s best efforts, yesterday’s UFC event in Stockholm did indeed take place and we’ve got highlights of some of the better fights of the night, along with the post-event press conference and a dope fight day blog from Conor McGregor.

Matt Mitrione vs. Phil De Fries:

(Fortunately, Michael Jackson was able to shake his “hard-partying ladies man” image. / Check out even more WTF-worthy celebrity photos at WorldWideInterweb)

Chris Weidman Training with Uriah Hall to Prepare for Anderson Silva (BleacherReport)

Alexander Gustafsson Injury Put UFC in Bad Position, But Situation Could’ve Been Handled Better (MMAFighting)

UFC on Fuel TV 9: Everything You Need to Know (FightDay)

After Rough Stretch, Blackzillians Hire High-Profile Coaches (CageWriter)

Amir Sadollah Injured, Nah-Shon Burrell Now Meets Stephen Thompson at UFC 160 (MMAJunkie)

UFC 158 Drug Tests Come Back Clean, But Not Without Some Controversy (MMAWeekly)

The 10 Weirdest Japanese Video Games Ever Made (Complex)

10 Ways You’re Sabotaging Your Workouts (MensFitness)

Sesame Street: Evil, Awful, and Terrible for Kids (EgoTV)

Sinkholes Are In Style: 3 Most Amazing Holes Around the Planet (DoubleViking)

Ryan Gosling Is Acting Quiet And Killing Guys Again In ‘Only God Forgives’ Trailer (ScreenJunkies)

The People’s Critic: Remembering Roger Ebert (Grantland)

How to Annoy Your Ex on Facebook (Break.com)

(Part 1 via Katla Studios. Parts 2 and 3 are after the jump.) 

Depending who you ask, the man stepping in on just days’ notice to face Gegard Mousasi at this weekend’s UFC on FUEL 9 event is either named Illi Latifi, Illiar Latifa, Iliir Latifa, or Alexander Gustafsson’s soon-to-be-deceased training partner. At just 7-2 (with notable victories over ______ and _____) the oddsmakers are giving Latifi about as good a chance of beating Mousasi as my birth mother gave me at life — but I survived that abortion, dammit. However, if word of mouth is any indication, it appears that we all might be sleeping on the unknown Swede. For further proof of this, just ask CP reader dumbasses, who chastised us/praised Latifi in our original post while simultaneously misspelling his name. Classic CagePotato, amiright?

Anyway, it turns out that this Latifi feller is a legitimate wrestler — a former national champion, actually — who could really pose some threats to grappling-deficient Mousasi. So to help familiarize you all with the soft-spoken Swede on the eve(ish) of his event-headlining UFC debut, we’ve posted a trio of videos documenting everything from Latifi’s quiet beginnings to his May 2012 victory over WEC veteran Tony Lopez.

As far as fighter docs go, it’s a pretty damn entertaining one — painting Latifi as an intelligent, hard-working, and overall humble guy — so check out episodes 2 and 3 of the documentary after the jump and let us know in the comments section if you give him any better of a chance than you previously did. Or use it as a platform to continue arguing about the merits of dick-tucking vs. full on sex changes in relation to an MMA fighter’s chances in a given fight. See if I care.

(“Tell me, was it regular print or construction paper that was responsible for that boo-boo?” – Martin Kampmann’s axe wound.) 

After being forced out of his fight with Gegard Mousasi at this weekend’s UFC on FUEL 9 event (a fight that would have earned him a shot at Jon Jones had he won) yesterday, light heavyweight contender Alexander Gustafsson released a photo of the cut in question earlier today, along with following statement explaining what exactly caused it (via MMAnytt):

During Thursday’s (March 28) passes as we ran wrestling exercises I lost my balance and pitched eyebrow in a very unfortunate way when I hit my head on one burpelaren. Immediately after it happened, I went to the hospital and sewed three stitches. I was quite prepared to compete until the doctors called and told me that cut is unfortunate and will not have time to heal in time until the gala.

It is of course extremely sad when träningscampet has gone very well. In addition to the eyebrow, I am in my best form and completely ready for the match. It is also sad for my opponent, Gegard Mousasi, who has also been training long and hard for this match.

I and my team have done everything we can to get set up and race despite the injury, but the decision is unfortunately not in our hands. I am extremely sorry for this and I feel with Gegard Mousasi. I also suffer with the fans who have been looking forward to this event and this match. Would also like to thank my entire team who have helped and supported me all the way. The next step now is that I sit down with the team and planning the future. 

As you know, Gustafsson was eventually replaced by training partner Ikea Laticifer (or something like that), which would be fine and all, had Dana White not tweeted this photo of Gustafsson just hours ago…

I can’t help but feel I’ve seen this picture before… (Image via adccbarcelona.com)

It has only been a few hours since we learned that Alexander Gustafsson was officially forced out of the main event of UFC on Fuel TV 9 due to a gash in his eyebrow, yet the UFC has already announced who Gegard Mousasi’s new opponent will be. No, it won’t be Wanderlei Silva. No, it won’t be Tom Lawlor, either. I know, I’m just as disappointed as you are.

Instead, Dana White took to his Twitter account to announce that UFC newcomer Ilir “The Sledgehammer” Latifi will be fighting Gegard Mousasi in the main event of UFC on Fuel TV 9. Via Twitter:

Not to be a pessimist, but when your boss misspells your name while announcing that you’ll be fighting a UFC-ranked Top Ten light-heavyweight, things aren’t exactly looking good for you.

(If you ask us, it looks like someone is just ducking Kimbo. Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting. ) 

Put the rumors, hearsay, and outright troll jobs to rest; Alexander Gustafsson will not be fighting Gegard Mousasi this Saturday at UFC on FUEL 9. The Swede, who received a cut in training a few days back, was scheduled to undergo a second pre-fight exam earlier today to determine whether or not he would be cleared to face Mousasi. And unfortunately, the Swedish Mixed Martial Arts Federation just passed along the news (via MMAFighting) that Gustafsson’s cut was simply too severe to allow him to fight on the 6th:

The SMMAF Medical Committee has today reviewed the circumstances regarding Gustafsson and his injury. The SMMAF Medical Committee recognizes that a competitor cannot be medically cleared earlier than the day before the match. However, bearing in mind that a correct medical examination that met the regulatory demands has been performed, nothing in the SMMAF regulations hinders the SMMAF Medical Committee from making a decision to stop Gustafsson from competing. As it is clear that Alexander Gustafsson will not be fit to compete as planned and cannot be medically cleared on Friday the 5th of April, the SMMAF Medical Committee has today decided that Alexander Gustafsson will not be allowed to participate in the planned match on April 6th. 

It looks like Gustafsson’s future title aspirations will have to be put on hold for the moment.

We will update you as soon as we learn of Gustafsson’s replacement, although Wikipedia has currently pegged none other than Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu as the man to step up in Gustafsson’s absence. Should be a good scrap, but considering how garbage-ass the rest of the card is, the UFC might also want to consider forcing Wanderlei Silva to make good on his promises.

After the jump: A video of Gustafsson wrecking Jared Hamman in his UFC debut, because something good needs to come out of this news.

(Wandy’s Trollshades increase his AprilFoolpower by a magnitude of eleventy bazillian. / Photo via Wandy’s FB fan page)

At some point, April Fool’s Day became less about playing elaborate pranks to humiliate your loved ones, and more about just lying to people all day. Nobody puts in the effort anymore. Announcing that your girlfriend/wife is pregnant on Facebook? Yeah, that’s not funny at all. (Side note: @Karmaatemycat gets a pass for doing this yesterday, because the idea of Jefferey Watts as a father is so terrifying that it actually made me hold my face in my hands for about 20 seconds.)

The MMA fighter equivalent of announcing a fake pregnancy is announcing a fake fight or retirement. Tim Kennedy did it. John Alessio did it. Louis Gaudinot did it. The idea is, these statements are believable enough to be true. But in the grand scheme of things, does anybody really give a fuck if John Alessio is coming in to replace Ryan Couture on Saturday? I hate to rag on a guy who we otherwise have so much respect for, but I’m just saying, it’s not a joke, it’s a lie, and making up lies about yourself to trick people is both uncreative and kind of egotistical. As our bro Vince puts it, “Getting me to believe something plausible but untrue is not a ‘prank.’ If that’s a prank, then man have I pranked some women and prospective employers, hoo boy.”

If you make your living on Internet like we do, April Fool’s Day has easily become the worst day of the year. (A close second? April 15th, aka, the Day of Great Reckoning.) Everybody’s a yukster, and you can’t believe a word you read, even if its true. So when Wanderlei Silva announced that the UFC approached him to replace Alexander Gustafsson against Gegard Mousasi on short notice for UFC on FUEL 9, we didn’t know what to think. I mean, we first dismissed it as bullshit — partially on the advice of Dana White himself — but Silva didn’t break character. He kept his story going. And going.

The biggest difference between Wanderlei’s possibly-fake fight announcement and all the others, is that Wandy actually reached out to media. He confirmed his story with MMAWeekly’s Ken Pishna. Then, he gave a rather entertaining interview to Tatame where he had this to say:

(Well, technically it *was* a training injury. Alexander was trying to train his dog to dance in a circle, and the dog clawed the shit out of his face. / Photo via AlexTheMauler)

As first reported yesterday by the Swedish news outlet SVT, UFC light-heavyweight Alexander Gustafsson suffered a gash in his eyebrow while sparring, which could lead to the cancellation of his UFC on FUEL 9 headlining bout against Gegard Mousasi this coming Saturday. A follow-up report from MMAnytt confirmed with the Swedish MMA Association that it will take several weeks before the injury heals up, and that Gustafsson won’t be medically approved for the fight “with 99% certainty.”

If Gustafsson indeed has to withdraw from his UFC on FUEL 9 match on short notice, it would be devastating, both for the event — which was being carried to a large extent by Gustafsson — and for Alexander himself, who was likely just one more impressive performance away from clinching a light-heavyweight title shot.

However, the fight hasn’t been formally canceled yet. As UFC president Dana White explained in a text message to Ariel Helwani, “The [Swedish Mixed Martial Arts Federation] has not said he can’t fight, and he wants to fight.”

We’ll update you if anything changes. In the meantime, you can bet that the UFC is turning over every rock to find a big-name backup opponent for Mousasi, because if the main event is switched to Ross Pearson vs. Ryan Couture at the last minute, you really couldn’t blame the Swedes for rioting.

(“I would consider it an honor to fight a great champion like Chael Sonnen. LOL, just kidding.” Photo via Esther Lin/MMAFighting)

Not that reports like this are ever worth a damn, but in accordance with the current mood of UFC President Dana White, Swedish light-heavyweight contender Alexander Gustafsson will receive a title shot if he can beat Gegard Mousasi in the main event of UFC on FUEL TV 9, April 6th in Stockholm.

“If Mousasi beats Gustafsson, he skyrockets right to the top of that division,” White said today in London. “And as far as Gustafsson goes, if he beats Mousasi in that fight, he’s in line for a title shot. This is a big fight for both of those guys.”

This, of course, is an old trick — pumping up a non-title-fight main event by declaring that it has title fight “implications.” But the UFC could very likely stick to their word this time, if for no other reason than to further punish Dan Henderson for his role in sinking UFC 151 and Lyoto Machida for refusing a title shot at UFC 152. Those two poor saps will be playing second-fiddle to a couple of broads in ten days at UFC 157.

Gustafsson has won his last six fights, which ties him for #4 on the list of longest current UFC win streaks. Would a seventh win against Mousasi convince you that he’d be a threat to Bones?

(Let’s get this man some new gloves)

Swedish sensation Alexander Gustafsson is going to put his six fight win streak and legit claim to #1 contender-ship in the light heavyweight division on the line against Gegard Mousasi April 6. The UFC just announced that the pair will headline UFC on FUEL TV 9 this spring.

Mousasi last lost in 2010 against Muhammed Lawal and is coming off of a submission win over Mike Kyle at the final Strikeforce event. Gustafsson won a decision over Mauricio “Shogun” Rua in December.

If it wasn’t for his young age and the long line of people talking themselves into title shots against champion Jon Jones and the huge mess that has ensued, Gustafsson would likely already be considered worthy of challenging “Bones.” As it stands, Gustafsson has to keep on fighting and winning to earn his shot.

(Look Dana, if his knee was really still injured, would he be playing in a professional baseball winter league?)

By Elias Cepeda

After earning a shot at the UFC light heavyweight title, Alexander Gustafsson said Saturday night that he won’t wait around for the winner of champion Jon Jones vs. Chael Sonnen to fight again. Jones and Sonnen are currently slated to face one another for Jones’ belt after the season of The Ultimate Fighter that they are currently coaching on finishes.

The Swedish contender put himself in line for a shot with a dominant unanimous decision win over Mauricio “Shogun” Rua at Saturday’s UFC on Fox card but at the post event press conference said that he would be happy to risk his title shot by fighting again in the interim. “I want to fight for the belt, and if they give me one before that, it doesn’t matter. I’ll fight whoever the UFC gives me,” he said.

“I want to stay active, and I want to fight.” The young kickboxer has no interest in waiting another half year or more to fight.

“I’ll fight whenever. I was away for a long time. The last time I fought was in April, and that was too long. To wait till summer again, that would be too long.”

UFC President Dana White seems to be in accordance with that thought. “If I was [Gustafsson], I’d want to get another fight in before taking on Jon Jones,” he said.

“He could fight again. I’m hearing Dan Henderson’s knee isn’t better, so maybe Gustafsson should fight Machida next,” White continued.

Henderson’s poor health status is evidentally news to the fighter himself. The former Pride champion was scheduled to fight Jon Jones earlier this year but pulled out after he injured his knee in training camp. He is now scheduled to take on former UFC champion Lyoto Machida in February at UFC 157: These Chicks Can Fight.

On his twitter account, Dan reacted incredulously to White’s supposed inside information on his knee. “Not sure where @danawhite thinks he’s hearing that my knee isn’t doing ok. It’s doing great. Slowly picking training up just like I do for every training camp,” he tweeted.

Ben Henderson’s Glorious Toothpick of Absolute Victory? Props: BloodyElbow.

When it comes to UFC on Fox 5, it’s hard to know whether to start with the top or the bottom. Ben Henderson’s dismantling of Nate Diaz was a statement performance in a division where title fights have been been subjected to controversy and questionable decisions for the past two years. (Frankie Edgar’s KO of Gray Maynard notwithstanding.) And he did this with a toothpick in his mouth the entire time! No, that’s not necessarily legal, but it makes the performance even more incredible. But on the other hand, this was probably the best, most violent preliminary card in recent memory, highlighted with KOs from Yves Edwards and Daron Cruickshank. And that’s not even touching the rest of the main card. We have much to discuss, Potato Nation.

So let’s start with the top. Ben Henderson, toothpick and all, dominated Nate Diaz. He kicked the legs out from under him, tossed him into the fence at will, and when they engaged on the ground, it was on Henderson’s terms. Diaz was able to maneuver into position for leg lock attempts in the third round, but beyond that he didn’t have much to offer Henderson. (Humorously, during one of those exchanges, Diaz raised his fist to Henderson’s face, and the camera immediately cut to a crowd shot. Yeah, wonder why…) Diaz never gave up trying, to his credit, but Henderson demonstrated that he was clearly the superior fighter of the two. Henderson was able to drop Diaz on multiple occasions, and while he was able to finish the Stockton fighter, he was able to damage him to the degree that even Diaz conceded victory when the final bell sounded. Henderson came out with a smart gameplan and executed it in violent fashion. Whoever challenges for the title next will have a serious issue on their hands, because with Frankie Edgar gone, Henderson finally looks secure on his throne.

The rest of the main card undoubtedly saw a – pardon the phrase – changing of the guard last night. Alexander Gustafsson was able to bloody and batter Mauricio “Shogun” Rua en route to a clear cut decision. Shogun came out strong, and while none of the judges saw fit to give him the first round, some observers (myself included) did. He used leg kicks, connected with the heaviest shots, and even though he got taken down, was easily able to avoid damage and return to his feet. However, rounds two and three weren’t up for debate. As Shogun tired, he began to throw desperate, flailing strikes which Gustafsson easily evaded. The Swede was content peppering Shogun from outside, dominating the clinch exchanges, and taking Shogun down at will throughout the latter rounds. It wasn’t the most impressive performance, and may not land him a title shot, but it’s easily his most significant victory in the UFC. For Shogun, it’s a sad day when a once great fighter can barely fight 15 minutes. He’s got a couple of fights left in him, but not much more.

(Sometimes I look at Nate Diaz and think, “y’know, there’s a guy who probably hasn’t heard the Good News about Jesus Christ.” / Photo via CombatLifestyle. For more photos from this set, click here.)

Old legends and young lions. Guys with angel wings on their backs and guys with middle fingers in your face. Hot-headed blood lickers, and reasonable folks who understand the health risks of such behavior. It’s UFC on FOX 5 — a card so good that you don’t even need lazy storylines to sell it.

On the menu tonight: Benson Henderson looks for his second lightweight title defense against Nate Diaz, Alexander Gustafsson makes his case for #1 light-heavyweigght contendership against Mauricio “Shogun” Rua, and BJ Penn will go to the death — or pretty damn close — against Rory MacDonald. Plus, a MySpace grudge-match nearly eight years in the making!

Running our “Henderson vs. Diaz” liveblog is New Jersey Martial Arts Hall of Fame inductee Jim Genia (congrats Jim!), who will be throwin’ down live results from the FOX main card after the jump beginning at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest, and toss your own thoughts and observations in the comments section.

(Oh yeah, they’ll be plenty of this. And we definitely don’t mean the “thoughts” part.) 

With a lineup that would challenge any UFC pay-per-view event in recent memory, UFC on FOX 5: Henderson vs. Diaz will come storming into your living rooms tomorrow night at 8 p.m. EST. You know what that means for tonight — some dudes are going to mean mug and possibly shove some other dudes that hopefully weigh-in at the same weight as the first dudes. Confused? Then join us after the jump and we’ll sort this all out for you, and make sure to swing by tomorrow at 8 p.m. to catch our liveblog of all the action!

(Staredowns from yesterday’s press conference, via MMAFighting. BJ is in amped-up savage-mode, and Bendo is just *daring* Diaz to pull some of his crazy shit again.)

By George Shunick

UFC on Fox 5 is one of the most stacked cards of the entire year, and it’s free on network television. It contains a pseudo-grudge match between the only man in UFC  history to hold the lightweight and welterweight titles, and a rising star who trains with his greatest rival. The co-main event sees a PRIDE legend and one-time UFC champ looking to reclaim his former glory in yet another epic war against a rising contender from a burgeoning MMA scene in Scandanavia. And in the main event, you have the two best lightweights in the world (besides Frankie Edgar) going head to head in the toughest division in the UFC. What more could you ask for?

Well, if the answer to that rhetorical question was “the most brilliant predictions/pre-fight analysis column ever,” then you are in luck, my friend! And because this card is so stacked, there will be not one, not two, not three, but…actually no, there will be three predictions. (Sorry Mike Swick and Matt Brown.) Logophobes, you’ve been warned.

The first of the big three fights on the card is the highly anticipated matchup between a returning BJ Penn and wunderkind Rory MacDonald. Penn’s seeking to reinforce his legacy as one of the best ever in the sport, and Rory’s been giving him even more motivation recently, claiming he’s coming to “hurt [Penn]” who he believes is “fighting for the wrong reasons.” Bold words, but MacDonald’s the type of fighter who’s capable of backing them up. He’s only lost once in his career — a TKO loss to Carlos Condit, in which he won the first two rounds before getting stopped in the waning seconds of the final round. But he holds wins over Nate Diaz and Mike Pyle, and aside from the former, all of MacDonald’s victories have come by stoppage.

It should be noted, though, that aside from Condit, Penn is a stronger fighter at this weight than any of the other fighters mentioned. He presents a greater knockout threat than any of them, has better wrestling, and has one of, if not the, best top games of any grappler in the UFC. However, Penn has historically been weak in the cardio department, particularly at welterweight. Even though he looks to be in excellent shape, he’s still carrying more weight than usual, and he’ll be forced to carry MacDonald’s weight as well. While Penn’s revamped his training camp, it’s unlikely he’ll have been able to fix a career-long deficiency, particularly after returning from “retirement.”

By Dan “Get Off Me” George

This may be the 5^th installment of the UFC on FOX, but somehow it feels like the very first time the UFC will be showcased for the mass cable viewing audience. With a card that far and away surpasses any previous cable-accessible card in the sport’s history, FOX has dubbed this week “Fight Week” and rightfully so. Both parties seem to be maximizing their potential for UFC on FOX 5, but we’ll have to wait until Saturday to determine whether or not the key to success on network television is having both title fights with a solid supporting card and the steady promotion FOX has offered for this event in the days leading up to it.

With a 3-3 record over the past 6 UFC PPV’s, it’s time for The Gambling Addiction Enabler to sink or swim (or specifically, find ourselves at the bottom of the ocean with a fancy matching pair of cinder blocks for shoes). So Join us as we highlight some of the undercard and all the main card bouts in the hopes of bringing you Taters some early holiday funds. All the betting lines come courtesy of BestFightOdds, per usual.

Remember that flabby, somewhat haggard version of Mauricio Rua that showed up to about every other one of his fights in the UFC with bum knees and a shit gas tank? He died. And now his freakishly fit doppleganger is here to bang all of our girlfriends and wives. So I have both, big whoop wannafightaboutit?

As was the case for BJ Penn, it appears that Shogun has whipped himself into damn near the best shape we have ever seen him in for his upcoming fight with Alexander Gustafsson. And it’s surprisingly appropriate; both Rua and Penn are aging legends looking to make one last run at a title shot, and both men must get past two highly-touted young bucks in order to do so. And no one wants to show up out of shape on the same network that airs The Choice. A loss is a loss, but having Pauly D mock your love handles with a laser pointer is a punishment no person on this earth deserves.

Although Shogun has been given a slightly better chance of pulling off the upset than Penn, both men are considerable underdogs heading into Saturday’s event, so make sure to swing by CP at 8 p.m. EST to see if these two will rise from the ashes or go down in flames. And if you’re in the Boston/Dorchester area, hit up either Karma or myself on Twitter to see which dive bar we’ll be catching the fights from and come join us. We apologize in advance for getting you thrown out of said dive bar, but that bouncer was totally giving one of us the stink eye.

-J. Jones

(“Why must we have to wait until February for the next episode of The Walking Dead? WHY?!”) 

If their backstories are any indication of how they will perform, then Rory MacDonald best prepare himself for hell against B.J. Penn come Saturday night. Not only is BJ looking to be in the best shape of his (welterweight) career, but the manner in which “The Prodigy” was portrayed in the UFC’s recent UFC on FOX 5 “Road to the Octagon” featurette has all but set him up for an epic career comeback. The “champion hoping to reignite legacy for family’s honor” angle has been played up plenty of times by similar countdowns, fight previews, or whathaveyous in the past, but very few cases have been as emotionally gut-wrenching as Penn’s.

The normally stoic Penn, whose daughter turned 4 around the time of the filming, revealed a completely unseen side of himself as he broke down in front of the cameras while describing how hard it has been to see his children grow up while he has been away fighting to secure their future (14:25). Credit is due to the editing department for brilliantly juxtaposing Penn’s fatherly plight (but did they have to have impose BJ’s breakdown over the Happy Birthday song for his daughter? TOO MUCH EMOTIONS DAMN YOU) with that of MacDonald’s, who admits that his own father wasn’t around much during his childhood. Nice try, Rory, but you are now the Max Bear to Penn’s James Braddock and we will root against you until Penn breathes his final breath. ATTICA! ATTICA!!

Anyway, a full replay of the special is after the jump, and it features an equally compelling handling of the Gustafsson/Rua and Henderson/Diaz fights, so check it out, won’t you?

(Final thoughts? Well, he still thinks you’re a bitch, and he’s not trying to shake your hand, homey.)

We might bitch about UFC pay-per-view cards being watered down, but fans are definitely going to get their money’s worth on the next free UFC on FOX card. As first reported by MMA Junkie, the December 8th event (venue TBA) will be stacked with three must-see showdowns, headlined by Ben Henderson‘s second lightweight title defense against Nate Diaz.

Diaz has earned his shot at the belt with three consecutive wins over Takanori Gomi (first-round armbar), Donald Cerrone (gangsterish unanimous decision), and Jim Miller (second-round guillotine choke). Meanwhile, Henderson is a perfect 5-0 in the UFC, and just beat Frankie Edgar for the second time last weekend at UFC 150. Will Diaz be the one to stop Bendo’s juggernaut-like momentum?

In other UFC on FOX 5 booking news…

It’s good to know that we weren’t alone in our confusion when it was announced that the winner of either the Mauricio Rua/Brandon Vera or Lyoto Machida/Ryan Bader bouts, specifically the former, would be in line for the next title shot at 205 lbs. Given that current champion Jon Jones has walked through all four of those gentlemen before, we struggled to find the reasoning behind the alleged title shot that supposedly awaited the most impressive winner from this weekend’s UFC on FOX 4 event. Then again, Rich Franklin has decided to chase after middleweight gold and revenge for a third time (which totally wont end in his untimely death), so maybe we were too quick to write off these former champions, TUF winners, and hype machines. In either case, Bones took to his Twitter account to voice his frustration, sending out the above tweet yesterday which simply states “Scratching my head.”

But perhaps even more confounding than the UFC’s apparent apathy in regards to JBJ was the realization that the light heavyweight division, one of the most stacked and competitive divisions in the UFC for some time, has nearly been cleared out in a little over a year. If Jones gets past Dan Henderson at UFC 151, something he obviously feels he is going to do as evidenced by the above tweet, there will arguably be only two viable candidates left for him to face: Alexander Gustafsson and Glover Teixeira.

Dana White has teased that the man known by the Potato Nation as “Bjones” is “ready for a big fight now”, leading us to believe that a meeting with Rashad Evans could be on the horizon. A victory over the former champ would all but cement the Swede’s position atop the division. As for Teixeira, it’s simply too early to tell. He looked great in his debut victory over Kyle Kingsbury, but needs to face at least one of the upper echelon fighters before we are convinced he is ready for a title shot. But for the moment, it appears that the LHW division needs an H-bomb like Nick Diaz needs a clue.

In other, alcohol-related Jon Jones news…

(Apparently Lesnar was the only one who wasn’t a fan of Anderson Silva’s nude pictorial.) 

Adhering to its usual formula and taking a look back at the locker room footage from the previous event, the newest edition of UFC President Dana White’s infamous vlog features an up close and personal look at the poor bastards who came up short at UFC on FUEL: Gustafsson vs. Silva. And Brian Stann. He’s simply too nice to not be around at all times.

After DW’s regular introduction, we are treated to the woeful words of Damacio Page, Damarques Johnson, and Thiago Silva, who all insist that they are “fine.” We know what that really means. But worse than “The Angel of Death,” worse even than “Darkness,” is the silent sorrow of Paulo Thiago, who stares on in disbelief when re-watching the final moments of his first round KO loss to Siyar Bahadurzada. Thiago has now lost three of his last four UFC contests, despite having the most badass day job of any UFC fighter ever. Chin up, Paulo, we know you’ll be back with a vengeance.

Check out the video after the jump. 

(And then it’s back to the glory days.) 

Fresh off a unanimous decision win over Thiago Silva at UFC on FUEL 2 in Sweden, rumor has it that Alexander Gustafsson is being looked at as a potential opponent for Quinton Jackson’s much desired swan song with the UFC. No potential date or venue has been mentioned.

Although it was previously reported that Jackson would duke it out with Mauricio Rua in a rematch of their PRIDE Total Elimination 2005 fight, our fanboyish dreams were almost immediately squashed when Page was forced to undergo double knee surgery in the fallout of his UFC 144 decision loss to Ryan Bader.

(Just call him Jon “Bjönes” Jones. / Photo courtesy of Josh Hedges)

By Jack Saladino

With the UFC’s Swedish debut in the books, it’s time for us to make Joe Silva‘s life easier and suggest the next matchups for a few of the notable fighters coming out of UFC on FUEL: Silva vs. Gustafsson. Read on, and let us know if you agree or disagree with these picks…

Alexander Gustafsson: Rocking Thiago Silva early, Gustafsson was able to pick apart the aggressive Brazilian with an array of uber-accurate strikes to coast his way to a UD victory, and cement his position as a top-tier light-heavyweight. Can you say title eliminator? Gustafsson vs. Dan Henderson sounds good to me. I know Dan is waiting for his guaranteed title shot, but Jon Jones and Rashad Evans both have a history of post-fight injuries, and to assume that the winner will be healthy after their title fight might be unrealistic. So unless Hendo doesn’t mind a year-long break to challenge the title-holder, a battle against the Mauler could be the next best thing.

Thiago Silva: Silva’s suspension gave him a year off to think about what he’s done and rehab a plethora of injuries that have kept him performing at less than 100%. Judging by his performance on Saturday, his comeback still has a long way to go. Though Silva could use a fight against a UFC newcomer to rebound in the 205-pound division, I’d give him a good dose of reality and slate him against Phil Davis, who’s coming off his own loss to Rashad Evans. Two big, well-known scrappers with a lot to lose — promoting this one should be a no-brainer.

(Don’t worry — in case the staredown gets too intense, Joe Silva will step in and helplessly flail his little arms at them. / Photo via MMAJunkie)

Today, the land of hot blondes and incoherent chefs will host its first-ever UFC event, headlined by Sweden’s fastest-rising contender. Standing in Alexander Gustafsson‘s way is Thiago Silva, the dependably vicious light-heavyweight veteran who’s coming off his one-year suspension for a funny urine test. In the co-main event, real American hero Brian Stann throws down against Alessio Sakara, while names like Paulo Thiago, Dennis Siver, and Brad Pickett fill out what should be a very entertaining afternoon of fights.

Handling play-by-play for the main card is Josh Hutchinson, a man I know very little about. Will he rise to the occasion, or blow his one shot at greatness? There’s just so much on the line today, folks. Round-by-round results from the FUEL TV broadcast, live from Stockholm’s Ericsson Globe Arena, will be piling up after the jump starting at 3 p.m. ET / noon PT. Refresh the page every few minutes for all the latest.

After what has been a long six weeks, a UFC event is finally on the horizon, Potato Nation. And thank Allah, because we were starting to get desperate. Like a Jencum addict without a balloon desperate. In either case, tomorrow night’s UFC on FUEL event provides the perfect opportunity for us to regret ever becoming gambling addicts in the first place, so let’s skip the bullshit and get right to it. Check out the betting lines, courtesy of BestFightOdds, and join us after the jump for our advice on where to place your hard-earned cash. .

Main Card
Alexander Gustafsson (-220) vs. Thiago Silva (+180)
Brian Stann (-400) vs. Alessio Sakara (+325)
Paulo Thiago (-145) vs. Siyar Bahadurzada (+125)
Dennis Siver (+150) vs. Diego Nunes (-170)
DaMarques Johnson (+140) vs. John Maguire (-160)
Brad Pickett (-230) vs. Damacio Page (+190)

Preliminary Card (Facebook)
James Head (+200) vs. Papy Abedi (-240)
Tom DeBlass (-200) vs. Cyrille Diabate (+170)
Magnus Cedenblad (+225) vs. Francis Carmont (-265)
Yoislandy Izquierdo (+190) vs. Reza Madadi (-230)
Besam Yousef (+250) vs. Simeon Thoresen (-300)
Jason Young (-185) vs. Eric Wisely (+160)

Here we go…

Weigh-ins for UFC on FUEL TV 2 went down earlier today at the Ericsson Globe Arena in Stockholm, Sweden, and all 24 fighters managed to make weight before leaving the building. The results are below via UFC.com. Be sure to come back to CagePotato tomorrow afternoon for our liveblog of the main card broadcast, and throw in your final predictions in the comments section…

FUEL TV MAIN CARD (3 p.m. ET / 12 p.m. PT)
Alexander Gustafsson (205) vs. Thiago Silva (205)
Alessio Sakara (186) vs. Brian Stann (185)
Siyar Bahadurzada (170) vs. Paulo Thiago (170)
Diego Nunes (146) vs. Dennis Siver (145*)
John Maguire (170) vs. DaMarques Johnson (171)
Damacio Page (135) vs. Brad Pickett (136)

(Struve channels his inner Keanu Reeves during his UFC 130 bout against Travis Browne.) 

In a fight that is all but guaranteed to end in a decisive, if not brutally violent fashion, it appears that heavyweight contenders Stefan “Skyscraper” Struve and Mark “Mark” Hunt are set to collide at UFC 146, which now features an all heavyweight lineup as its main card for the first time in UFC history. Thank God it’s not being held at a high altitude.

We know what you’re thinking: WHY IS TIM SYLVIA NOT ON THIS CARD?!!!

Hunt has had perhaps the most startling career resurgence in recent memory, scoring three straight octagon victories over Chris Tuchscherer, Ben Rothwell, and most recently Cheick Kongo, with two of those victories coming by way of destructive KO. This was made even more shocking due to the fact that Hunt was only picked up by the UFC in order to fulfill a contract he had signed back in his PRIDE days before the organization was absorbed by Zuffa.

Struve, on the other hand, will be looking to add another three fight win streak to his current 7-3 octagon record come May 26th. We last saw him at UFC on FUEL: Sanchez vs. Ellenberger, when he dispatched Manbearpig Dave Herman via second round TKO. Prior to that, Struve choked out our boy Pat Barry in the first round of their UFC Live 6 co-headliner bout.

UFC 146 transpires at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas and features a main event title clash between Junior Dos Santos and Alistair Overeem.

In other fight booking news…

(Fun fight between two hungry 205′ers.)

Our friends at StudioMMA broke the news minutes ago that Antonio Rogerio Nogueira sustained an injury training for his upcoming UFC on Fuel 2 bout with fast-rising light heavyweight Alexander Gustafsson and that stepping in for Lil’ Nog will be fellow Brazilian Thiago Silva.

Silva, who is returning from a one-year suspension for submitting artificial urine to the California State Athletic Commission  in an attempt to mask steroid use ahead of his UFC 125 win over Brandon Vera, was originally slated to rematch “The Truth” at UFC on Fuel 3 on May 15 before a training injury forced his opponent out of the bout. Igor Pokrajac stepped up to replace Vera, but it looks like the UFC will now have to find a replacement for the Croation.

(A preview of Gustafsson’s placement on the list? There’s only one way to find out.) 

A great man once said that geology was the study of pressure and time. That man’s name was Red, and although he was simply using the phrase as a metaphor for prison life, he could’ve just as easily been talking about hype. Because hype, not unlike geology, has the ability to form diamonds from coal, and just as easily crush the greatest boulders into dust.

As MMA fans, we know the hype game more than any; if we’re not prematurely declaring it “The_____Era,” then we’re likely discrediting legends of the sport, even going as far to say that their wins never held any validity in the first place. Sounds insane, doesn’t it? Well, welcome to the world of cyberhype, the deadliest, fastest spreading strand of hype there is. And as with Kei$ha and CSI spin-offs, there is little we can do to stop this disease, so instead we’ll just try and act like we were into it before it got popular.

Here are five of the hottest prospects in the UFC, ranked in order of how long we knew about them before you did.

5. Stephen Thompson

Last three fights: (W) Dan Stittgen via KO, (W) Patrick Mandio via UD, (W)  William Kuhn via UD

There isn’t much we can say about Stephen “Wonderboy” Thompson that his kickboxing and MMA records don’t. The man has strung together 63 consecutive wins in mixed competition, most recently starching Daniel Stittgen ^ at UFC 143. The hype surrounding Thompson has been overlooked by some, and will be put to the test when he takes on TUF 7 vet Matt Brown at UFC 145.