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Tag: Alistair Overeem

Satire Sunday: Testosterone is for Cheaters, Says Adderall Snorting Journalist

DISCLAIMER: This feature is purely a satirical piece- you know, like the title explicitly states. Any references to real people and events are purely for comedic effect. Nothing you are about to read is actual news, and no quotes used in this article are authentic quotes. In short, don’t take anything you are about to read as a real news story.

Pictured: How drug abusing MMA fighters would look if they had some dignity.

The general public has been outraged over Chael Sonnen’s recent comments defending Alistair Overeem, and do not seem to be willing to forgive and forget any time soon. Sonnen defended Overeem on the basis that Overeem simply had an elevated testosterone-to-epitestosterone ratio, and did not test positive for an illegal substance. However, many still believe that Overeem’s elevated T:E ratio was caused by testosterone usage. If true (and it certainly looks true), it gives him an unfair advantage at his job, and therefore is completely unacceptable.

“This is an outrage!” cried Sean Franchetti, a journalist for the popular MMA news outlet Cage Crapato, while snorting his third Adderall of the week. “SorryaboutthatIhave…I have four feature articles due by tomorrow morning, and there’s no way I can do all that without snorting a few lines first.”

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The Rallies Are Over: Frank Mir to Fight Junior Dos Santos at UFC 146


Why yes, I do like Huey Lewis and The News… Props: Las Vegas Sun

The speculation has officially ended. After ruling out Frank Mir, Cain Velasquez and Mark Hunt as potential replacements for Alistair Overeem to fight heavyweight champion Junior Dos Santos at UFC 146, Dana White has officially announced his pick. Late last night, Dana White sent out a tweet confirming that Overeem’s replacement will be none other than…Frank Mir.

Huh. How about that?

While we’re all sure that there’s a reasonable explanation for Alistair Overeem’s suspiciously high 14:1 testosterone-to-epitestosterone ratio, the UFC aren’t taking any chances. Rather than waiting for Overeem to meet with the Nevada State Athletic Commission on Tuesday, “The Demolition Man” has been removed from the card entirely. Draw your own conclusions.

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The Unsupportable Opinion: Why Allowing Alistair Overeem to Fight Junior Dos Santos Is the Best Thing for MMA


(Come on guys, I promise never to let you down again…pinky swear! / Photo courtesy of CombatLifestyle)

By Josh Hutchinson

Alistair Overeem — former Strikeforce and Dream heavyweight champion, K-1 Grand Prix champion, two-time World MMA Awards International Fighter of the Year recipient, horse-meat enthusiast, music video superstar, and the #1 contender in the UFC’s heavyweight division. By now we all know the drama surrounding him and his scheduled championship fight at UFC 146. We’ve seen various replacement opponents for Junior Dos Santos get shot down, and have come to a general consensus that the Reem is most likely a cheating bastard. Fans and pundits alike have collectively called bullshit on the idea that NSAC would still consider letting the fight occur. If you take things like science, logic, and common sense into account, it’s pretty obvious what should happen here — but if we don’t play devil’s advocate, who will? Instead, let’s look at three reasons why Overeem vs. Dos Santos must happen. For example…

1) Why let all this publicity go to waste? Of the major MMA news stories that have popped up over the last few weeks, which one has dominated the headlines? If you said “Overeem’s urine analysis results,” then congratulations — you’ve not only been reading this site, but you have a much better vocabulary than me, because I would have said “Reem’s hot piss test.” For better or worse, Overeem’s dodgy test results have consumed the MMA world like the plagues of Egypt, and his name is on everyone’s lips. Maybe it’s not exactly the publicity that the UFC was hoping for, but they’d be fools not to take advantage of it. Dos Santos is such a likeable, soft-spoken character, and it would be very easy to spin the Reem as the villain in their match. And suddenly, what was simply a great heavyweight matchup just got a compelling storyline.

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‘MMA Media, You Failed’: Chael Sonnen Lashes Out at Coverage of Alistair Overeem Story [VIDEO]


(Props: FuelTV)

It shouldn’t come as a surprise that Chael Sonnen feels sympathy for Alistair Overeem, considering his own history with abnormally high testosterone levels. On last night’s installment of his weekly troll segment for UFC Tonight, Sonnen blasted MMA media for implying that the Reem tested positive for anything illegal:

Congratulations, MMA media. Right when I think your incompetence cannot get to any higher level, the Alistair Overeem story comes out. From you kids on the interwebs, running your little dot-com’s from the couch in your mother’s basement, to you beneficiaries of Mark Cuban’s tax write-off, you’ve gone and screwed up the Alistair Overeem case beyond all belief. Is it repairable? I doubt it. If I’m a member of the media and someone tells me that Alistair Overeem failed a drug test, the very first thing I’m going to say is: ‘Really? What substance did he test positive for?’ You see, those basic questions are where the wheels begin to fall off the bus to this entire story.

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[EXCLUSIVE] Keith Kizer Says He Does Not Expect Alistair Overeem to Apply for Therapeutic Use Exemption

By Elias Cepeda


(Photo via Esther Lin & MMAFighting )

A week before he will appear before the Nevada State Athletic Commission for a hearing regarding his failed March drug test and to request a license to fight Junior Dos Santos at UFC 146, the NSAC’s Executive Director Keith Kizer says that Alistair Overeem’s legal team has yet to request additional sample tests or to indicate that they will apply for a therapeutic use exemption for testosterone replacement therapy.

“They’ve asked for no additional testing ,” Kizer told CagePotato.com. “I have talked with Overeem’s attorney and that issue has not been raised.”

“He has not indicated what [Overeem’s] defense will be, but he has not said to me, as I’m sure he would have if he was using it, that [Overeem] is on TRT,” Kizer continued. “That is not to say that they could not still make that case and ask for a therapeutic use exemption for TRT, but if they do, I’d be as shocked as the next person. We’ll all see what they do when April 24th comes around.”

When Overeem’s hearing does take place in one week, Kizer anticipates that the fighter will not have an easy road to getting licensed again. “It is going to be a very tough hearing for Mr. Overeem, to say the least,” Kizer said.

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Alistair Overeem’s Manager Says All Will Be Revealed in One Week With “Reasonable Explanation”


(Come on, would we let you down?)

So #1 UFC heavyweight title contender Alistair Overeem failed a late March surprise drug test administered by the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC) for having a testosterone to epitestosterone ratio level higher than five men of Krypton and is now scheduled to appear before the commission in one week to ask for a license to face champ Junior Dos Santos May 26th. But not to worry, Reem fans: Alistair’s manager assures that his fighter will have a “reasonable explanation” for his unreasonable levels, according to Inside MMA‘s Ron Kruck, via CagedInsider.

“I spoke with Glenn Robinson, manager of Overeem and he says he is very respectful and is hopeful that he will be granted his license and the entire team is very confident that he will be facing Junior dos Santos come May 26th,” Kruck said.

“Now Robinson wanted to make it very clear that despite other reports, Overeem did not test high for testosterone, but rather his testosterone to epitestosterone was off and he has a reasonable explanation to why that is, which he will present to the commission next Tuesday.”

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Depressing News of the Day: Dana White Officially Kills #RallyForMarkHunt


It’s still real to us, damn it. Props to @ZeusJupiterMMAO

Pay attention, Tim Sylvia: It turns out that a Twitter campaign, no matter how popular, is not the best way to manipulate Dana White.

Even though we here at Cagepotato have known this to be true for a while, we still couldn’t help but get behind #RallyForMarkHunt. The online campaign to have “Super Samoan” fill in for Overeem at UFC 146 quickly took off among tech-savvy MMA fans, and even gained the approval of UFC color commentator Joe Rogan. For a second there, it looked as though the unlikely challenger would actually be getting a shot at ‘Cigano’; especially when Dana White announced that former champions Frank Mir and Cain Velasquez were not being considered but was silent about Mark Hunt.

Well, you can now officially stop getting your hopes up. At the post-event press conference for UFC on FUEL 2, Dana White issued the following statement about the online rally (as transcribed by BJPenn.com):

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Alistair Overeem Shows Up on ‘MMA Uncensored Live’, Refuses to Talk About Drug Test [VIDEO]


(Props: Spike TV via Fightlinker)

It’s been over a week since news broke of Alistair Overeem failing his random pre-fight drug test, and the Reem has been quiet as a mouse ever since. Now would be a good time for him to start making the media rounds with an explanation, or an apology, or at least an acknowledgment that he failed the test and potentially wrecked a massive UFC heavyweight title fight. So what does this big son-of-a-bitch do? He goes on Spike TV’s MMA Uncenscored Live on Thursday, on the condition that he won’t discuss the drug-test situation in any way, and instead gives a straight interview about his matchup with Junior Dos Santos, which again, probably won’t happen.

Luckily, the hosts didn’t swallow the bullshit. “Either P90X really, really works, or the man was putting something in his body,” said host Craig Carton, looking at side-to-side photos of Overeem from 2005 and 2012. Nate Quarry agreed, saying “You’ve got to be very naive to take a look at those pictures and think he’s not using performance enhancing ‘supplements.’ Let’s just say he can put on 40 to 50 pounds of pure muscle in about four to five years — when 20 pounds of that is directly on your head, that’s an issue.”

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[VIDEO] Michael Schiavello, Joe Rogan, and Josh Barnett Weigh in on Alistair Overeem’s UFC 146 Positive Drug Test


(Overeem likes his pecs like his K-1 trophies: abnormally large.) 

On a recent episode of Inside MMAcommentators Joe Rogan and Michael Schiavello sat down alongside Josh Barnett to discuss the topic that has thrown the MMA world into chaos over the past few days: Alistair Overeem’s positive drug test. Barnett wisely chose to remain silent for the duration of the conversation, likely because his last positive test was responsible for destroying the Afflicition promotion before it could spend itself into its own grave.

But it was Schiavello, a long time friend of Overeem, who took an interesting stance on the issue, basically saying that, if a fighter pisses hot anytime other than fight week, why should they be held accountable? Here’s what he said:

You know, while we’re talking about the subject, Kenny, I just wanna chime in here on a couple things that have been playing on my mind, the last week or so, since the news of Alistair (Overeem) broke. Alistair doesn’t have a license with the Nevada State Athletic Commission (NSAC), so how are they testing him in the first place when he doesn’t have a license with them? By what jurisdiction are they testing him? And ‘B,’ everyone seems to be hanging Alistair out to dry. They’ve been nailing him to the cross and crucifying him, but it’s still two months away from his fight. You know, he hasn’t technically cheated. Because, unless he pisses hot on the fight night, how could he possibly have cheated? There’s still an opportunity he can get from the 14:1 down to the allowed 6:1 level by fight time. But we’re calling him out as a cheat, two months out from a fight?

Yes, Michael, we are calling him a cheat. Probably because he fucking cheated.

Check out the video, along with Mark Hunt’s reaction to the news, after the jump.

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Brock Lesnar vs. Alistair Overeem: Where Are They Now?

By Jason Moles

After the most difficult two-and-a half minutes of his professional MMA career, it was all over for Brock Lesnar. Not just the savage abuse he was taking from Strikeforce/K-1 champion Alistair Overeem, not just his attempted comeback in the sport he took by storm, but his time in MMA altogether. ”I’ve had a really difficult couple of years with my disease, and I’m going to officially say tonight was the last time you’ll see me in the Octagon,” Lesnar said during his post-fight retirement speech at UFC 141.

It’s only fitting that Lesnar’s run in the UFC end as quickly and unexpectedly as it began. The former NCAA Division I wrestling champion was never really ours when you think about it — MMA merely borrowed Lesnar, and we should consider ourselves fortunate that he briefly lent his personality and ferocious physicality to our sport. As he said his final good-byes to the Las Vegas crowd, the beardless viking looked relieved to see the Octagon in his rear-view mirror.

Shortly after waiving off the fight, Mario Yamasaki raised the arm of the new #1 contender, Alistair Overeem. The former PRIDE fighter had everything going for him. He dodged a fatal bullet from the NSAC, was making bank in the UFC, and had just defeated a man most people considered a Top 5 contender in the heavyweight division – finally proving to the world that he can indeed hang with the best. On top of all that, he had just been announced as the next challenger for Junior Dos Santos’ championship title. The only way it could have been better is if the mayor had given him a key to the city and held a parade in his honor. If Overeem only knew the fate that would befall him over the course of the next three months, his smile might not have been as big that December night inside the MGM Grand.

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